1. The Difference in Motive
The first difference lies with the man's motive in pursuing the
relationship. Biblical courtship has one motive — to find a
spouse. A man will court a particular woman because he
believes it is possible that he could marry her, and the
courtship is the process of discerning whether that belief is
correct. To the extent that the Bible addresses premarital
relationships at all, it uses the language of men marrying and
women being given in marriage (see Matthew 24:38 ; Luke
20:34-35 ).
Numbers 30:3-16 talks about a transfer of authority from the
father to the husband when a woman leaves her father's
house and is united to her husband. The Song of Solomon
showcases the meeting, courtship and marriage of a couple
— always with marriage in view. I am not advocating arranged
marriages; rather, I am pointing toward the biblical purpose
for why young men and women associate with one another.
These passages do not argue that marriage should be the
direct goal of such relationships so much as they assume it.
Modern dating, on the other hand, need not have marriage as
a goal at all. Dating can be recreational. Not only is "dating
for fun" acceptable, it is assumed that "practice" and learning
by "trial and error" are necessary, even advisable, before
finding the person that is just right for you . The fact that
individuals will be emotionally and probably physically
intimate with many people before settling down with the
"right person" is just part of the deal. Yet where is the biblical
support for such an approach to marriage? There is none.
How many examples of "recreational dating" do we see
among God's people in the Bible? Zero. The category of
premarital intimacy does not exist, other than in the context
of grievous sexual sin.
The motive for dating or courting is marriage. The practical
advice I give the singles at our church is, if you cannot
happily see yourself as a married man (or woman) in less
than one year, then you are not ready to date.
Read more at: http://www.boundless.org/relationships/2006/what-does-a-biblical-relationship-look-like