Let me explain. I am not really the romantic/sweet type except in rare situations and this has caused me the labels: cold, insensitive, stone hearted, heartless, etc,

Just recently I was called a bitch by a friend of mine who has been asking me out for a long time. Fact is right now i am interested in someone else, but I never told him this and just said I wasn't intentioned to have a relationship with him. Reason why I didn't reveal my feelings is very simple: it was irrelevant because without or without my crush, i was still not going to accept.

I believe my so called insensitivity and my refusal to say I had interest for someone else are strictly related. Could it be I have developed a sort of barrier between me and the other sex? I remember being embarrassed when I had to say what I felt when I was still a teenager, but this defect or characteristics of mine has soon become really rooted. Even now I can hardly say I love you to my friends/bfs in a very normal situation. A very intimate situation is needed for me to open up.

I am afraid this might get worse and possibly make me a BITCH, if I am not one already. Please advise. Is there a remedy against a severe case of INSENSITIVITY?

Hello hun, I kind of see myself in you i.e cant say the L world and can be cold sometimes. You can start practicing being soft once in a while i.tell your loved ones you love them or care for them etc.

Ebonyeyes:

Hello hun, I kind of see myself in you i.e cant say the L world and can be cold sometimes. You can start practicing being soft once in a while i[b].tell your loved ones you love them or care for them etc[/b].

Did you know I just said ewwww the moment I read those lines? I believe this problem is psychological. Could it I am using this as defence against being hurt?

Ebonyeyes:

Hello hun, I kind of see myself in you i.e cant say the L world and can be cold sometimes. You can start practicing being soft once in a while i.tell your loved ones you love them or care for them etc.

dr.Frankeinstein I hope u dey hear  

dont accept the B word someone has labelled you as except you see urself as a B

How was your childhood? Why do you think you're so "cold"/'insensitive'? Me no say nothing wrong in saying I love you.  

By the way, your admirer calling you a bitch don't mean you're a "certified bitch". It's not cool to think you're a bitch.  

debest1:

dr.Frankeinstein I hope u dey hear  

You done lost your mind

michelin89:

Did you know I just said ewwww the moment I read those lines? I believe this problem is psychological. Could it I am using this as defence against being hurt?

Sweetie, I cringe myself too but you have to star from somewhere. It could be due to how you were raised up, normally African parents just provide food/education/clothes etc but they dont really tell us they love us like the oyibos do. Its an African thing I think.

@ Ebonyeyes

You are the 1st person to jump at this thread again, see what im saying now, lol


Anywayz its all good , keep catching ya fun    

Radiant:

How was your childhood? Why do you think you're so "cold"/'insensitive'? Me no say nothing wrong in saying I love you.  

By the way, your admirer calling you a bitch don't mean you're a "certified bitch". It's not cool to think you're a bitch.  

I don't know why I am that way. Maybe it's just how I am.

He is not the first person or the second person. I feel there is some sort of power in knowing other people's mind while yours remains a mystery.

skfa1:

@ Ebonyeyes

You are the 1st person to jump at this thread again, see what im saying now, lol


Anywayz its all good , keep catching ya fun    

Hunny, this is the ist thread today Also I can relate with this poster.

You are afraid of being hurt 'cos you sound like you've been hurt before. . .Open up your heart. . .being disappointed and being hurt by the ones we love is parts of being human. . .you just have to try. . .and Live life

Ebonyeyes:

Hunny, this is the ist thread today Also I can relate with this poster.

Go on sweety and relate wella, nothing do you    

The B word though it's bad, some people just say it not meaning anything, it could the person just watched an american and decided to try the word on someone, don't beat urself up over this, just move .

How could you be so cold?
As the winter wind when it breeze yo
Just remember that you talkin' to me though
You need to watch the way you talkin' to me though

I mean after all the things that we've been through
I mean after all the things we got into
Hey yo, I know of some things that you ain't told me
Hey yo, I did some things but that's the old me

And now you wanna get me back and you gon' show me
So you walk around like you don't know me
You got a new friend, well I got homies
But in the end it's still so lonely

In the night I hear 'em talk, the coldest story ever told
Somewhere far along this road he lost his soul
To a woman so heartless
How could you be so heartless?
How could you be so heartless?

hahaha. . . just messing with you girl.  

Look, male and female genders were designed naturally to antagonize and confront with one another.  By default we were created imperfect.

if you truly know you are not a bitch why would you stress?
put it behind you and move on.

Most girls can be real bitches.
You, however, Midge, are a Binch!

rokiatu:

if you truly know you are not a bitch why would you stress?
put it behind you and move on.

Imagine the topic. Ain't nothing cool about that word.

Telling someone "I love you" don't really mean I am/should be committed to them   Guess my friends and buddies are from Space  

michelin,
   I dont think you are a bitch. You are who you are. If you feel the natural need to be more "in touch" with the softer side, then you are on the right path by questioning yourself. Just because you tell it like it is doesnt make you a bitch.

Dont try to change who you are unless it is coming from inside you. Some people grow a tough personality because they want to protect themselves from being hurt, used or walked over. Maybe you just dont want to be vulnerable as when you get hurt, you get hurt bad.

If you have a boyfriend, talk to him about it, so he doesnt think you dont love him. I am sure he will find a way to bring out that softer side from you. At the end of the day, if being who you are is affecting close family or friends, then it is ok to look inside to seek change.

Don't go worrying urself, u okay. Dat is certainly beta dan tellin a gúy u luv him & gettin his hopes high wen u realy don't. It seems ure a very emotional person, just harden up a little

@poster
I relate with you totally, i used to be like you cos from when i was really young, i watched a couple of films and after seeing the way women would cry for a man, i made up my mind that i would never be that kind of woman so i kept myself from getting hurt but recently i found myself in love with my current boyfriend and i say it more often now, not all the time though.

Don't worry, once u start dating the right person it will come out. We are all differnet. Never let anyone make you feel like a bitch and NEVER GO OUT WITH SOMEONE WHO CALLED YOU A BITCH COS YOU REFUSED HIM. IT SHOWS THE KIND OF PERSON HE IS.

Hmmm me thinks michelin89 has been an introverted person for a long time n has had to learn to interact with people.

There is healing my dear.

U need to accept first that it is ok to feel love and affection for other people.

Next work on expressing dat love n care, don't struggle with those words for now use the ones that come naturally to u.

Wen u get comfortable with expressing love n affection every once in a while just say them to someone just to taste it on ur lips, the more frequently u use em the more comfortable u'll get.

Believe u won't even rememba dat u once had trouble wit it.

@POST

Not surprised.

cheexy:

@poster

Don't worry, once u start dating the right person it will come out. We are all differnet. Never let anyone make you feel like a bitch and NEVER GO OUT WITH SOMEONE WHO CALLED YOU A BITCH COS YOU REFUSED HIM. IT SHOWS THE KIND OF PERSON HE IS.

U think anyone will ever fit into that for her? I seriously doubt so.

Ebonyeyes:

Hunny, this is the ist thread today Also I can relate with this poster.

U sure?

@poster. My dear dont worry about what people call you, just trust who you are. U acted harshly doesnt make u a b***h. What if you are too cheap and emotional what then will they call you? I understand your kind of person. I have one in my house.

@ all

Thank you for the advice. I can't really reply everybody one by one so I'll just sum it up in one post.

I am not really bothered about being called a bitch because they are just upset over whatever problem they may have with me. I am more worried about what warrants this label.

I have loved a lot but then saying it was so tough. Gosh! I hated it when my friend (the romantic princess) would tell me off for being over insensitive.   Even another friend of mine who is so hostile to human contacts becomes a a softie when she falls in love. Just by hearing her speak, you'll understand she is so much in love.

Me? Oh well, they have to ask me to know and sometimes even admitting that I am is a problem. Because I have to rationalize and think about my answer before I speak out.

I am indeed in a hot mess.

@poster abeg no let your toto waste while you are still young o there is pleasure in being doing it toghether

IYA NGBALI:

@poster abeg no let your toto waste while you are still young o there is pleasure in being doing it toghether

Yeah sex is sweet but if your boyfriend doesn't feel loved, how you want make e give you ponmo?

Sex is worth waiting for therefore zip up. That advert na for 19th century people.

xynerio:

Sex is worth waiting for therefore zip up. That advert na for 19th century people.

Wetin carry your eyes go there? Didn't you see my other long post?

michelin89:

Yeah sex is sweet but if your boyfriend doesn't feel loved, how you want make e give you ponmo?

na which one be ponmo again?small time una go dey call am bokoto

you are not a BITCH dear
i dont find it difficult saying I LOVE YOU atleast not to those close to me
but when it comes to a relationship i use the word but i find out that i say that word for saying sake
i guess LOVE isnt meant for everyone
but that doesnt neccessarily mean you dont care about others

y me:

but when it comes to a relationship i use the word but i find out that i say that word for saying sake
i guess LOVE isnt meant for everyone
but that doesnt neccessarily mean you dont care about others

Exactly!!!


I noticed that when people are called the b-word(which in itself is a bad word) a lot, they tend to gradually accept the word and identify themselves as such.
That's just bull, man. Most times, people esp. males call females bitches when the female doesn't conform to their ways. Why would a guy who claims to want you call you a bitch? simple. He's too immature to get it across his head that he's really not wanted. Just like immature guys go about calling their ex-girlfriends bitches whereas prior to the break-up, she was an 'angel'. 

Anywayz, Michelin09, the L word is not by force jare. I too, don't like saying the word  except to relatives like my mom, sis, etc.
These days, every TDH uses the L word like it's food. Half of them don't mean it. I'll rather not say it - call me mean/insensitive.
If they pester you too much, just say it for its own sake.