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Laff Will kill you after reading this story. - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

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Laff Will kill you after reading this story. by olatopicalblog(m): 2:08pm On Oct 11, 2016
I dont know why girls are just wicked like the Witch in my village.... this story wey i won talk now funny but nah somtin wey still de pain me till today....

i wonder why as a guy, you will invite  a girl to your house and she will think the invitation is for her to come and watch Telemundo and Zee World, drink Malt, collect transport and go... guyz wuna know wetin i mean nah... dat thing can pain eeh!

This same situation happened to me last week when i invited a babe to my house and she promised to show up .... asin eeh, the kind preparation wey i prepare sef pass wedding preparation. Asin i just de wonder how i go take run the package.... na so i de count days, de anticipate. i de call her steady o...! make e no be say the day go com reach, she go come de tell me say she forget...you know dat kind thing nah guyz.

      GHEN GHEN! GHEN GHEN!
Today is the deal day, it was 7 a.m in the morning. I picked up my phone and called
Vero to know howfar. Because i no won hear story for the gods o.

She picked and i asked her if she is still coming... still keh...! thunder go fire her if she talk say no. she no go fit try am nah...

Oboi! She said she is coming by 9 a.m... omo no joy o.. and i am to report to work by latest, 8:30 a.m. thunder go fire devil, is like person de follow me from village. Why be say nah this kind time she say she go come.

And if i tell her i will be at work by then, she might shutdown the coming... as a sharp guy wey i be... bobo no go die. All work no play make jack a dull boy o.
So i pick my phone dial my boss number, i told him my mum just called me from the neighbouring viĺlage that she is so sick that i need to go there to check on her health... make God forgive me shaa...omo nah that kind lie fit work o cos this boss them eeh..! Dem dey hard to convince.

Omo..! my boss accepted o. I happy die. Nah so i start to de tidy my room o, clean my tv and sets, change bed spread, clean window luvas so that fresh air go come in, arrange my dirty cloth one side, clean mirror incase the babe go won check her self out, that kind thing nah. Wash my toilet make the smell no go fall my hands, Put water for bathroom incase the babe go won shower. Clean clean everywhere, arrange my shoes well, put the ones wey make sence for front com pack the one wey don die put for back. change my Bob to blue Bob... that kind thing nah, put my condom for where my hand get am sharply during emmergency. Com spray room freshner......omo...! guyz no get joy at all.

For about one week, i haven't clean up my house like this  and  i did all these chores in 30mins because of this babe... omo make we no lie, babes de very important. Make we credit dem for that area because nah them de make all guyz for this life won clean the mess inside their house.

Some guyz will say, i don't like dirts that why i keep my room tidy... my brother that one nah big lie, nah because of babe. Guy wey no get babe no de bother to clean house even throughout a year....

It 8am already so i picked my phone, called her and she said she is already on her way by bike. So i gave her a landmark to drop.... omo...! body just de sweet me... nah so i just de imagine the way i go take wound the babe, de reherse some kind styles... this babe go know me today... she go know say guyz no get joy at all especially me...

My phone rang loudly.
I picked the call and it was the babe... she said she is at the landmark i describe to her.... omo see joy for my face.

So i picked up my shirt, brushup my hair sharply, clean my pam and walked straight to the landmark... omo see fine boy... this babe go believe today.

Getting there, i saw her standing with the bike man. She welcomed me with a sweet hug... chai! my head wan blow off...this hug sweet die. even the bike man feel am so te him wan cum.

I asked howmuch is the pay for the bike man and the bike man said it 200naira. Omo this bike man won cut my neck o... because him see me with babe. him normal money nah 70naira o. Chai!
Okada man nawa o... u just won jonze me for this babe front.

I just have to pay shaa... not to spoil my show. Fine boy, see wallet. O.B.O...! baddest!

I removed 1k and give to the bike man to give me change. So he gave me 750naira change. this bike man lasan. E just wan fall my hand.

I collected the change and we moved to my house.. Omo...! see swag...  i con de greet people for road o... dat kind thing nah... make dem notice me say i carry babe nah... da kind thing... i even greet people wey i no even know...

If you see the way i was even walking gaan... all with swag. me and the babe just de speak foneh give ourself.

We got to my house, i opened my door soflty with swag. We both walked in and i welcomed her once again into my house and told her to sit down.... omo...! this babe won com fuckup o... she con de sit down for chair...which kind rough play be that one nah... she no fit sit down for bed?

I have wanted to break this chair since but my junior sis said she needs it thats why i kept it for her. This chair have always been an obstacle in all my packages. This one no go funny o... how will i convince this babe to come to the bed now. Ola no de carry last nah... just wait see my scope.

I opened my fridge and brought out a malt and a glass with a tray, and place it on a stool at her front... instantly, she said don't worry am ok. You know the way girls take de form nah... like say dem no de shit.

She later accepted the drink shaa... so i put on the television, so we both watch movie and chill with discussion... omo..! make i no lie, my mind no de there at all... i no de concentrate for the movie... my mind be say make we... you know...that kind thing...

So we discussed shaaa... we move to the issue of our relationship package... omo see scoping... the babe just de form hard like Jet Li.... but trust me nah... king of scoping... before we go say jack robbinson, the babe don de bed o... even me self no know how manage my scope unlock her. Omo...! i bad gaan...

we got to the bed and my hands started travelling around her world... omo see groove... o lord..! this can't be me... at that moment, i no get problem for this world at all. Even if my mama call me that time, i swear i no go pick. no be joke o. I no go pick at all.

My hands were travelling east, north, west and south around her body... com see smooching... huuuuuh! if i die, make you no cry for me (dagrin). My kporon is head up firmly waiting for the koko. I don't know when i fling my boxers to an unknown corner of my room. Guyz, wuna don turn On abi... abeg no cum for your trouser o.

I stretched my hands beneath my pillow to get my shinguide (condom). Omo no dulling..! No time to check time...! My
kporon  is already suffocating. It is now so anxious for the koko.

As i stretch my hands towards my shinguide, she hold my hands and stoped me from taking it and then the unspeakable......
this is what all guyz will never like to hear.... Jisas!!!!!! O my lawd!!!! Waadaf*ck!!!!! Yeeeeeh!!! (crying).

What came out of her mouth was.....continue reading this at.... www.247humor..co.ke/2016/10/am-seeing-my-period.html?m=1

Plz make sure you drop your comment on the blog
Re: Laff Will kill you after reading this story. by harlee(m): 4:23pm On Oct 11, 2016
I didn't read it,I don't want to faint

3 Likes

Re: Laff Will kill you after reading this story. by olatopicalblog(m): 5:12pm On Oct 11, 2016
harlee:
I didn't read it,I don't want to faint
Lol...ok you will not faint
Re: Laff Will kill you after reading this story. by stephnkem22: 8:03pm On Oct 11, 2016
hmm guyz like my page https://www.facebook.com/9jabae/

1 Like

Re: Laff Will kill you after reading this story. by realsammie(m): 10:27am On Oct 12, 2016
bros i beg cum finsh ur gist for here o. if na to click dat link, walahi i no go click

1 Like

Re: Laff Will kill you after reading this story. by olatopicalblog(m): 10:20pm On Oct 12, 2016
realsammie:
bros i beg cum finsh ur gist for here o. if na to click dat link, walahi i no go click
forget it den...
Re: Laff Will kill you after reading this story. by olatopicalblog(m): 11:45am On Oct 14, 2016
olatopicalblog:
I dont know why girls are just wicked like the Witch in my village.... this story wey i won talk now funny but nah somtin wey still de pain me till today....

i wonder why as a guy, you will invite  a girl to your house and she will think the invitation is for her to come and watch Telemundo and Zee World, drink Malt, collect transport and go... guyz wuna know wetin i mean nah... dat thing can pain eeh!

This same situation happened to me last week when i invited a babe to my house and she promised to show up .... asin eeh, the kind preparation wey i prepare sef pass wedding preparation. Asin i just de wonder how i go take run the package.... na so i de count days, de anticipate. i de call her steady o...! make e no be say the day go com reach, she go come de tell me say she forget...you know dat kind thing nah guyz.

      GHEN GHEN! GHEN GHEN!
Today is the deal day, it was 7 a.m in the morning. I picked up my phone and called
Vero to know howfar. Because i no won hear story for the gods o.

She picked and i asked her if she is still coming... still keh...! thunder go fire her if she talk say no. she no go fit try am nah...

Oboi! She said she is coming by 9 a.m... omo no joy o.. and i am to report to work by latest, 8:30 a.m. thunder go fire devil, is like person de follow me from village. Why be say nah this kind time she say she go come.

And if i tell her i will be at work by then, she might shutdown the coming... as a sharp guy wey i be... bobo no go die. All work no play make jack a dull boy o.
So i pick my phone dial my boss number, i told him my mum just called me from the neighbouring viĺlage that she is so sick that i need to go there to check on her health... make God forgive me shaa...omo nah that kind lie fit work o cos this boss them eeh..! Dem dey hard to convince.

Omo..! my boss accepted o. I happy die. Nah so i start to de tidy my room o, clean my tv and sets, change bed spread, clean window luvas so that fresh air go come in, arrange my dirty cloth one side, clean mirror incase the babe go won check her self out, that kind thing nah. Wash my toilet make the smell no go fall my hands, Put water for bathroom incase the babe go won shower. Clean clean everywhere, arrange my shoes well, put the ones wey make sence for front com pack the one wey don die put for back. change my Bob to blue Bob... that kind thing nah, put my condom for where my hand get am sharply during emmergency. Com spray room freshner......omo...! guyz no get joy at all.

For about one week, i haven't clean up my house like this  and  i did all these chores in 30mins because of this babe... omo make we no lie, babes de very important. Make we credit dem for that area because nah them de make all guyz for this life won clean the mess inside their house.

Some guyz will say, i don't like dirts that why i keep my room tidy... my brother that one nah big lie, nah because of babe. Guy wey no get babe no de bother to clean house even throughout a year....

It 8am already so i picked my phone, called her and she said she is already on her way by bike. So i gave her a landmark to drop.... omo...! body just de sweet me... nah so i just de imagine the way i go take wound the babe, de reherse some kind styles... this babe go know me today... she go know say guyz no get joy at all especially me...

My phone rang loudly.
I picked the call and it was the babe... she said she is at the landmark i describe to her.... omo see joy for my face.

So i picked up my shirt, brushup my hair sharply, clean my pam and walked straight to the landmark... omo see fine boy... this babe go believe today.

Getting there, i saw her standing with the bike man. She welcomed me with a sweet hug... chai! my head wan blow off...this hug sweet die. even the bike man feel am so te him wan cum.

I asked howmuch is the pay for the bike man and the bike man said it 200naira. Omo this bike man won cut my neck o... because him see me with babe. him normal money nah 70naira o. Chai!
Okada man nawa o... u just won jonze me for this babe front.

I just have to pay shaa... not to spoil my show. Fine boy, see wallet. O.B.O...! baddest!

I removed 1k and give to the bike man to give me change. So he gave me 750naira change. this bike man lasan. E just wan fall my hand.

I collected the change and we moved to my house.. Omo...! see swag...  i con de greet people for road o... dat kind thing nah... make dem notice me say i carry babe nah... da kind thing... i even greet people wey i no even know...

If you see the way i was even walking gaan... all with swag. me and the babe just de speak foneh give ourself.

We got to my house, i opened my door soflty with swag. We both walked in and i welcomed her once again into my house and told her to sit down.... omo...! this babe won com fuckup o... she con de sit down for chair...which kind rough play be that one nah... she no fit sit down for bed?

I have wanted to break this chair since but my junior sis said she needs it thats why i kept it for her. This chair have always been an obstacle in all my packages. This one no go funny o... how will i convince this babe to come to the bed now. Ola no de carry last nah... just wait see my scope.

I opened my fridge and brought out a malt and a glass with a tray, and place it on a stool at her front... instantly, she said don't worry am ok. You know the way girls take de form nah... like say dem no de shit.

She later accepted the drink shaa... so i put on the television, so we both watch movie and chill with discussion... omo..! make i no lie, my mind no de there at all... i no de concentrate for the movie... my mind be say make we... you know...that kind thing...

So we discussed shaaa... we move to the issue of our relationship package... omo see scoping... the babe just de form hard like Jet Li.... but trust me nah... king of scoping... before we go say jack robbinson, the babe don de bed o... even me self no know how manage my scope unlock her. Omo...! i bad gaan...

we got to the bed and my hands started travelling around her world... omo see groove... o lord..! this can't be me... at that moment, i no get problem for this world at all. Even if my mama call me that time, i swear i no go pick. no be joke o. I no go pick at all.

My hands were travelling east, north, west and south around her body... com see smooching... huuuuuh! if i die, make you no cry for me (dagrin). My kporon is head up firmly waiting for the koko. I don't know when i fling my boxers to an unknown corner of my room. Guyz, wuna don turn On abi... abeg no cum for your trouser o.

I stretched my hands beneath my pillow to get my shinguide (condom). Omo no dulling..! No time to check time...! My
kporon  is already suffocating. It is now so anxious for the koko.

As i stretch my hands towards my shinguide, she hold my hands and stoped me from taking it and then the unspeakable......
this is what all guyz will never like to hear.... Jisas!!!!!! O my lawd!!!! Waadaf*ck!!!!! Yeeeeeh!!! (crying).

What came out of her mouth was.....continue reading this at.... www.247humor..co.ke/2016/10/am-seeing-my-period.html?m=1

Plz make sure you drop your comment on the blog

plz do you guyz want more of my stories?

(1) (Reply)

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