dollarlander:


YES. Let me tell you a story. There was a man that used to work in Shell, he earned very well and doing great.
His wife was a NYSC corper when they got married. He refused to disclose his salary to his wife. He categorically said his wife has no business with his salary.

The wife did her Youth Corp in Total Oil and Gas, so she put in her resume and did very well in the interview and fortunately got a very big job with Total. Her salary was bigger than the hubby's. She started investing her money, bought lands, properties, cars and powerful things that hubby cannot even dare.

The hubby wanted to know how much she earns, and she blatantly told him its none of his business. He was worried and started telling his friends. They all blamed him, because he ripped what he sowed.

There is no BIG deal in telling your wife how much you earn. Wives are better money managers, men will not want to believe this because of egos. As long as she knows your income, she will plan with you how things will continue to be better.

jaybee3:


Why should their be secrecy in Marriage?
That singular action is highly suggestive of underlying trust issues

Honesty should be encouraged at all times

IF either party has issues with managing/understanding realistic expectation then they need to revisit that squarely

fav444:
All these things depends on the type of woman u marry. if you marry a woman who has generous affinity for luxury, artificial beauty, pleasure seeking and a flair for shopping and u tell her the exact amount u earn then my brother u are finished.

but if she is a wise and prudent type, my brother make her ur account officer and in 10 years time come back here and outline ur achievements.

missyge:
Managing his mony dosnt mean she has to b a financial advisor...If u love ur wife,;den dias nothg wrng in her knwng how much u earn. I bliv with dat, she wont demand mre dan wat u can provide. She knws wen u have and do not. Dats wat i mean by managing nd nthg else...

icedbeatz:
lol hahaha hahahaha you sound like a good person dear and I guess you're still very young with innocent mind and unharmful motive but not every female wants that information with good intentions and love has nothing to do with being financially responsible so why put both on the same scale? if she's a materialistic type there is everything wrong with her knowing. you believe she won't ask for more than I can provide?! really? do you truly believe that statement? how many times have we all seen where a wife is demanding more than the husband can provide? gazillion times since the time of Abraham. OK I see by managing you mean when she is able to know when I have money so that she can ask me for some and when not to ask me, well that's just like the red and green traffic light and not managing. Our parents and grandparents didn't do best but we all have to do better, thanks dear.

icedbeatz:


1. There should be secrecy pertaining to certain information about assets/finance from the other party if need be because of various reasons too many to mention. Let me ask you, will you give me a key to your new BMW x6 to drive in a busy traffic area if you know that I can't or don't know how to drive?

icedbeatz:


2. Honesty should encouraged at all times is not a good answer but just alright but in some sensitive issues honesty doesn't apply so wisdom calls. I expected better answers from you but rather got questions and an alright answer.

icedbeatz:

3. Revisit that squarely? a wise person should be able to ascertain the personality and behaviour of his/her partner before embarking on the journey of marriage and personality is not something you can change in others, it has no switch! a good scientist is an amazing observer, problem dictator and solver so why embark on a mission that is likely to turn sour 80% of the time? where the other party will see you judging them as unfit to handle this or that. Most people can't handle the truth about themselves so they will despise you for making it obvious to them so in order to save everyone headache you do the needful. Do you give a toddler a corrosive substance to hold for you? hell no because chances are the might destroy themselves with it or you or waste the corrosive for what you initially plan to use it for but if its a fellow competent partner then the team will put two good heads together and handle it.

icedbeatz:
OK dear can you tell me why should a husband tell his wife how much he earns?

icedbeatz:
While Reading some of the post from mostly females of naija it irritates me and I tend to understand why guys barely marry nowadays. I wonder where you guys got this nauseating orientation from so now marriage is a business? with two shareholders where percentage are shared?! WTF!!! lord save me and all from fams and pals from such females. If I can watch MY KIDS at night so that my lovely future wife who is weak or really need some sleep to rest I will gladly do it, bathe them? take them to school?! do whatever ?! what the hell I'd my job as the man of the house if I can't do all these things?!?!! I love kids like crazy and can't wait to have mine with a queen that understand what life, marriage and more truly means because you all clearly don't know squat. You all worry about money and taking care of family like its been unnecessarily imposed on you all ( both males and females) when you got into marriage that's WTF you signed up for but most of you don't know, I bet most of the ladies rambling that a man should do this and that had a terrible dad or relation that shaped their goddamn mind this crazy. I learned a lot from just observing my folks, that's why you hear people talking about Love especially females when they don't know ish about it, they think its telemundo. if you love your wife/husband why won't you help them in anyway possible? I reiterate anyway? as regards to chores then financially it another issue because most times some females tend to be materialistic, they put their wants over there needs and don't understand how the scale of preference works at all so telling her how much I earn would be me setting the family up for bankruptcy. Most females know that their urge to buy more directly reflects to how much their husband earns, if he earns a million monthly they want at least around 300,000 or more but if the think you earn around 100,000 they will mostly subliminally minimize it to around 40,000-50,000 so my point is it depends. if you get a wife that understands the scale of preference, rainy days, future projects and retirement plans/savings and not materialistic then by all means share your financial plans and info with her but if you're with these "I want to know how much he earns" so that I can leech more on him and manipulate him to buy the latest car for me asap each time the come out then by all means cut that leech off your salary and if its a must then tell her half your salary is what you earn and ensure she never finds out. a woman can be a blessing to your life or a furious, destructive devil in your life so know the one that is around you and know how to dance with the devil. TAKING CARE OF THE KIDS IS BOTH PARENTS JOB, whining about changing diapers like its rocket science? mtcheeeeew too many drama queens, you see fellas they all want to get married but they don't have the required skills to start, run and take care of a family.

eyinjuege:
Well, most men that don't want wahala will let their wives know how much they earn, otherwise the expectations will be too much.
Most people assume you earn more than you actually do and make unreasonable demands.
If as a man your salary isn't so great, and you can hardly keep up with payments, you had better let your wife know and face the reality. Her expectations and demands won't be unreasonable, and within your salary scale.
Some men even hand over their salaries to their wives. She supplements it with her own to run the house, pay household bills, school fees and all what not.
Though if you earn so much monthly, you can still get away with not letting her know cos you can always meet all demands. In fact, you see some really rich guys who live moderately, drive small cars, stays in a nice but small apartment who don't like an ostentatious lifestyle. Their wives will even be pitying them that they're demanding too much, not knowing they're wealthy .
But all in all, its a good idea to let your spouse know your earnings so you can all plan your spendings wisely.
She knowing how much you earn doesn't mean she's gonna be in charge of your finances especially if you don't trust her spending habits.

jaybee3:
First and foremost, secrecy in marriage is a recipe for disaster and you need to stop approaching issues with a narrow mindset since it can’t be applicable everywhere.
You are encouraging secrecy because Nigeria’s divorce law doesn’t favour the woman cos if it did then surely there wouldn’t be any point in hiding assets since you will be forced to split it halfway if and most likely when found

Having said the above, I don’t understand why anyone would want to hide assets if one of the reasons for being in a marriage is to provide stability for the family. It’s a disservice for the family when the state have to claim assets that can’t be directly linked because of no known next of Kin.




What stops you from putting steps in place that ensures I’m able to drive effectively and in turn become self-sufficient?


Please list the sensitive issues that will make a man/wife hide finance from each other
Are you working for yourself or the family?
I’d already suggested people deal with issues of unrealistic expectations or financial recklessness. It’s a lot easier to identify issues and explain the rationale for your action so as to ensure sustainable improvement whilst solidifying the base of the relationship



It’s all about your approach.

I won’t tell my wife you are bad at managing money hence the reason for me hiding assets or whatever

I will go to her with the issues, implications of the identified issues and suggested action plan to improve status quo.

Genesis2000:


Thank you so much.

You re actually referring to me. Lol.

Everything that has advantage also has a disadvantages.

My wife knows how much am earning, but not because am righteous but because my salary is not too good.

When i collect my salary i will bring it out completely, and we share it accordingly, you know what i mean? House rent, thought which comes up annually. Light bills, school fees, foods stuff, just name it, will be distributed accordingly.

When it has been exusted, then she will happily start from there. That's how i have been surviving this recession.lol..

But the disadvantage of it is that, no unnecessary spending again, lol. Thank God am not a womannizer or you just help anybody anyhow without her knowledge you must give account of it when you gets home. Lol. My brother it is not easy ooo.

But the funny part of it is that, i don't even care to know how much she has, i don't want to cause trouble in my house.
She is a business woman, had it been she is working, enhe, i would have jokingly or comfortably ask her how much she is earning.

Although my wife is a good manager.

Dadsonval:

The reasons are many! For a man and woman to be pronounced husband and wife, there must be NO SECRET btw them anymore.

@ icedbeatz, If ur are married and u still ask this question, i pity u. If u're not married, kindly go for godly counselling.

TheArchangel:
All this for me
You did good...you did good. I just hate being cheated on in virtually anything or I take my revenge. I didn't marry cos of love as I do not believe it exist, just mutual understanding and respect the kind you find in business partnerships, and honestly it sure as hell is working for me.

jaybee3:
How is the inability to cheat because of scarce resource a disadvantage? I'm sure it's a subtle humor so no biggie

jaybee3:

How is the inability to cheat because of scarce resource a disadvantage?
I'm sure it's a subtle humor so no biggie

jaybee3:

How is the inability to cheat because of scarce resource a disadvantage?
I'm sure it's a subtle humor so no biggie

1bkaye:

Lol definitely, I actively try to screen out and then avoid guys with that mindset, it's only fair on both of us that there's a balance of duties i.e. if financial responsibilities are say 30/70 I expect a fair ratio balancing that out to be reflected in other things

icedbeatz:
@jaybee3 my point is this, telling your spouse the amount you earn depends on the type of person your spouse is be it he/she. You can give a successful investor money to invest for you which is a good move but would you give a crack head money to hold or save for you? if a wife can handle your finance judiciously then by all means disclose your salary and brainstorm ideas to make more money together but if she can't handle money and love to spend on frivolities then its a good decision to keep her in the dark about your salary. I hope you understand but if you don't its alright bro.

Genesis2000:


You don't know that most men flaits because of too much money. Lol.

But in a situation whereby you gives account of your spending, you know wount do that. Lol. Unless you want to cause wahala for ur house.

Genesis2000:


Thank you so much.

You re actually referring to me. Lol.

Everything that has an advantage also has a disadvantages.

My wife knows how much am earning, but not because am righteous but because my salary is not too good.

When i collect my salary i will bring it out completely, and we share it accordingly, you know what i mean? House rent, thought which comes up annually. Light bills, school fees, foods stuff, just name it, will be distributed accordingly.

When it has been exusted, then she will happily start from there. That's how i have been surviving this recession.lol..

But the disadvantage of it is that, no unnecessary spending again, lol. Thank God am not a womannizer or you just help anybody anyhow without her knowledge you must give account of it when you gets home. Lol. My brother it is not easy ooo.

But the funny part of it is that, i don't even care to know how much she has, i don't want to cause trouble in my house.
She is a business woman, had it been she is working, enhe, i would have jokingly or comfortably ask her how much she is earning.

Although my wife is a good manager.

Stoical:


Me like this your statement. This is what I practice and believe me, it's been working well since we became companions. The thing is, wisdom is very essential here...understanding the kind of spouse you have #veryimportant. I say this because a woman will sometimes in very rare occasion want to be a "woman", same applies to a man, so that is where wisdom applies. (never one should think that the spouse will always be 100% understanding o. From experience, times will come that they will act deviating from the original plan), wisdom demands you accommodate, by ignoring or adhering; then have a sit-down discussion later on to ascertain what could've brought about such deviation.

My brother, continue in your act and you will have peace of mind o...very important, esp if your income is sizable. I must equally say, that you continue same when the income increases...imagine she/he finding out later that you have been telling her/him lies...hmmmm (na only God can help in that o).

It is better to always have projects each year, so that no matter how plentiful your income may be, you guys know what and what each %age is going into...by the way, if you complete the task for that year in record time, why not take out time with your spouse and do better shopping (for you, family members and the needies)

#mytakeonly and I am not even close to a saint yet o...peace!

Genesis2000:


God bless you so much. See i will not lie to you, there is absolute peace in my house now, even with the little salary am receiving. It is wisdom as you have rightly said, and young boys of these days does not know these.

I can tell you categorically that we are building a small house somewhere in Lagos, you will not believe i do save money in her own private account for that very project.

Like you said earlier even if i still receive a good money i will still let her to know since am already used to it.

I don't hid anything from her, and besides what am i even want to hide in the first place, i don't have a girl friend, the only problem we use to have before is drinking. But thank God i no longer drinks again.

And if i see anything i like i buy it and bring it home and she sees it.

That does not make me a fool, i knows what am doing.
Atleast am they one who bought all my electronics.

Listen there is no Angelic woman anywhere. Every woman is a cross, and nobody will carry your cross for you, and the way you carry this cross matter alots.

Do you read a post on nairaland here where a woman promise to pay 500,000 to kill her husband?

I know alots of women will tongue lash her for doing that, however they can also do it even more.

But sir, judging by what that woman said concerning her man, do you know that that man is very wrong,inhuman and wicked man.

Some stupid people says here that the man pays his tithe that why God deliver him, and they have forget that it is those innocent children that save him. Note this.

Wherever you see a Peaceful home, know it that the man of the house have sacrificed alots.

Thank sir.

Stoical:


God bless you and your home sir. You lose nothing in having peace of mind. However you set out to achieve that, please do and always follow you conscience.

The story you refer to...I saw the thread but didn't open it because I didn't feel it was necessary for me, however, it could be so inhumane for one to think of taking another's life not to talk of setting out to do that.
Sir, I will never support such a person no matter our seemingly good your reasons maybe. There are always a better way out

Best of luck in your project...will start mine by next year, God willing. Atleast, under a year, 10 months to be precise, I am married, with a car and a plot of land. ..All within 1 year and my pay is a little above 150k...to God be the glory.(ouch! exposing my "linen" in public)

It took the ingenuity of my wife for this success...mind you, she is just a corper...I bless God for the future we see together.

Cheers Bro!

Dadsonval:
@ icedbeatz, so help u Lord, but its better to look for better spouse.

icedbeatz:
your post is nice but you ruined it with the "wives are better money managers" and used men's ego as an excuse to escape logical and critical judgement. fk that wives are better money managers dear its crappy because if we are to go by statistics men rule the wallstreet and dominate most financial institutions and more and are doing great and innovating ways to enhance financial management more than our female folks but we're in the little wife/husband circus so let me tell you both the wives or husbands can be wonderful managers or money squandering can be the thing the know best so let's leave gender out of it, regards to op post it depends, if the wife is financially responsible and can make good decisions then she should know but if she's just like most of the untrained, educated illiterates that don't know nothing about future plans, df bw needs and wants then hell no he shouldn't tell her and vice versa. Let the individual with better money managing skills do the best for the team but its better to have two good heads than one dummy who will be pulling the other backwards.

TheArchangel:
AMEN bro. And may I dey office dey bring wetin we go dey chop. Amen and Amen....Amen.
Nicest prayer of my life.
I am a born hustler so staying at home doing childcare PROFESIONALLY whatever that means is unpalatable. So if he can do it, why nat

Tinalex:
Its not a must,in so far as he takes care of the bills in the home. what do I need the amount he earns for?