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Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by Nobody: 7:23pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
Scholar8200 Let's also not forget that the individualistic nature of today's society makes a lot of dangerous people in the society. People no longer take words, oaths and promises seriously. Not even marriage. So parents have to be extra careful. |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by Scholar8200(m): 7:54pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
Muafrika2:How careful can we get? Even a marriage that comes after long courtship and full parental caution and involvement still fails! Why not therefore make the main thing, the main thing (Divine Guidance) and leave the extraneous that adds no real advantage? Once there are 3 witnesses namely couple and a spiritual leader regarding leading, that should be all. If long courtships fail, why waste time thereon? Besides, these days, that courtship time is usually spent in giving a false assurance that you finally found the angelic sister/''jim-jim"brother of your dreams, no thanks to the pretence and hypocrisy. You know what? This might increase divorce cases because after the journey to the altar alters the alter egos into their true selves hence the expectations and fantasies, intensified by courtship, crashes suddenly and , in some cases, may never be restored. If God is truly leading you, and there are witnesses, wanting a period of hanging on, except if HE leads you so to do, sounds like Moses wanting to send spies after he had been told to move in, the result was a fall from faith to sight! |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by Nobody: 8:12pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
Scholar8200 I do agree on the importance of divine guidance and it's superiority to other considerations. Though I would not advice on dependence on any third parties for the same. People should train their spirits to distinguish right from wrong and to hear from God. |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by Scholar8200(m): 8:17pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
Muafrika2:By 3rd party what I meant was the couple being convinced first then having a confirmation from God as He may seem fit on the basis of every word being confirmed in the mouth of 2 or 3 witnesses the use of 3 here being a safeguard to the couple being deceived by emotion or sight. |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by shadeyinka(m): 8:22pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
Muafrika2: If you look at the content of marriage vows, you will conclude that even Christians don't take the vows seriously Would you......take .......to be your lawful wedded wife Version A: I, ____, take you, ____, to be my wife (or husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law, and this is my solemn vow. Version B: Groom: I,____, take thee,_____, to be my wedded Wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth. We concentrate on the ceremony and forget that we made a vow before God. It is better not to make a vow than to make one before God and then break it. I guess the problem is that we don't know the definition of Love or Submission! 2 Likes |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by Scholar8200(m): 8:31pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
shadeyinka:Very true. Now this leads us to something much overlooked: most Christians know nothing about Divine Guidance and the need for continual recourse to God along the way. Why? The only time some take Divine Guidance serious is when they get to marriage. Anyone who knows about Divine Guidance will realise that once you get God's mind on something, there is need for commitment therein else there will be repercussions. Meaning, its almost like a vow that demands commitment has been taken when you seek and receive God's guidance. If this was understood, courtship wont be necessary! We will realise that only God matters and difficulties externally or in the other person would always be taken back to Him! |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by shadeyinka(m): 8:34pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
Scholar8200: My experience is that people rarely do proper courtship this days! My wife and I stumbled on the principle while we were courting. It gave us a very deep foundation. Honestly, I still give thanks for it. We read between ourselves over 30 different christian marriage books within the 2 years of our engagement. |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by Scholar8200(m): 8:37pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
shadeyinka:that's much, do you still read those books in the same manner today? |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by shadeyinka(m): 8:43pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
Muafrika2: Divine guidance is a must! There are some devils agent whose duty is to frustrate a child of God from doing his will. If the foundation is destroyed, what can the righteous do? Although sometimes, we over-spiritualize marriage. Successful marriage is hardwork consisting of the foundations of 1. Love and Submission 2. Forgiveness 3. Friendship 4. Third Party minimisation 5 . Communication 6. Transparency and Trust 7. The God Factor When any of the above is weak, the marriage will have problems 2 Likes |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by analice107: 8:44pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
shadeyinka:Ok, i get it. Whatever we cant do in the presence of other believers, we shd not do behind closed doors. Right. |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by shadeyinka(m): 8:45pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
Scholar8200: Unfortunately not. We are now much more busy! Work, Children, Church, etc. But the basics are already deeply ingrained. 1 Like |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by Nobody: 8:46pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
shadeyinka: Definitely. Covenants are dangerous things as they have angels assigned specifically to protect the integrity of their purpose. |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by analice107: 8:55pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
shadeyinka:So, in other words, if a christian couple do not have money for the wedding but does the traditional, they must not consummate the marriage until the white wedding is done? Oyibo people no dey do Traditional oo. na only white or court. 1 Like |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by shadeyinka(m): 8:58pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
Scholar8200: Courtship is a must o! However, it is a time to plan the Architecture of your future home. You plan everything. Children upbringing and discipline, in-laws, finance, third parties, conflict management, spiritual activities etc. You may not agree bon everything but you will understand and respect your spouses position about certain issues. Before we got married, I knew my wife would hardly spank our children and she knew that I will not spare the rod. We discussed it. So, when I discipline the children, she leaves the scene and doesn't interfere even when it hurts her because we came to an understanding. And she calls me to order when she feels I have overdone it. In courtship, you decide how to treat your properties: do you want a fully jointly owned everything or you want daddy's car and mummies car. Courtship is the time to design how you want your home to look like. The more issues ulyou deal with before marriage the less hassles you will have. The problem with most marriages is that, they only planned the wedding and do not have any script prepared for their marriage. Marriage is the time to start implementing your design: |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by analice107: 8:58pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
shadeyinka: What brings demons into Masturbation sir? If demons are unleashed during Masturbation, aren't they suppose to also be unleashed during fornication? |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by shadeyinka(m): 9:02pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
analice107: Perfect! No one is above falling when it comes to fornication. Those who succeeded do so because they put a strict limitation in what they allow themselves to do. 1Co 6:12 All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by analice107: 9:05pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
shadeyinka:I dey fear fornication. |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by shadeyinka(m): 9:05pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
Muafrika2: That is very true. A vow is like a bank bond with consequence. Satan has a legal ground to hold usnto Ransome when we break a vow. That is why the Lord says: I hate divorce! 1 Like |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by shadeyinka(m): 9:12pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
analice107: If they decide that they want only the traditional wedding, then they are free to live together as husband and wife. BUT If they plan to do church wedding after that, then it means that it is the church wedding that defines the final rite of their wedding. If they sleep together before this, it is a sin of fornication. A christian couple can even choose to do court wedding alone andbit is a valid wedding as long as they would not put a church wedding or blessing after they have consummated the court wedding. That would be a spiritual fraud and fornication. |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by Gombs(m): 9:12pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
shadeyinka: If I have a fiancée... Is it alright to allow her do them laundry and chores and kitchen? NB: No "the other room" stuff 1 Like |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by Gombs(m): 9:17pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
shadeyinka: Why then does the church recognize traditional marriage? Any ideas? |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by analice107: 9:18pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
Ranchhoddas:Why the long hmmm? That is a man who is sold out to Christ. |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by analice107: 9:26pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
Gombs: No not in "Zaa oza room" The other room Where a woman pretends To be weak, So that a man Can believe he is strong. Where a woman pretends To be foolish, So that a man Can say he is wise. Where a woman stoops So that a man can conquer. The other room, Where gods of men Become worshippers of women, Where leaders of thought Become minions Of the bleeders of blood. Where wielders of power Succumb to power. The other room, Where the brashness of testosterone Yields to the bra straps of estrogen. Where the bravado of masculinity Is tamed by the wiles of femininity. Where the turgid Becomes the flaccid. Three rooms In a house One in which a man Believes he is king Two in which He realises A woman is god! No, not in Zaa rum 1 Like |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by Scholar8200(m): 9:32pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
analice107:an ode to the other room! |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by analice107: 9:42pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
Scholar8200:Yeah, An Oze to zaa oza rum? |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by Ranchhoddas: 9:45pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
analice107:*applause* |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by analice107: 9:52pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
shadeyinka:Wow. Marriage lesson 101. Am happy i came in here. thank you. |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by Gombs(m): 9:55pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
analice107: You didn't answer the kweshun na. |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by Nobody: 10:11pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
The Bible says that we are meant to be living epistles read of men. Is it not better to take the words of of God found in the Bible out of it and make it our everyday life especially in Marriage and create a culture through it same as we have cultures in every tribe? We as believers are a tribe in itself because as Jesus said "we are in the world but we are not of the world". I say this because there are many who do not want to bother about getting the details of marriage procedure from the Bible and would rather just be either shown or told without reverence to scriptures. Perhaps from those whom they look up to and respect. I am of the opinion that we can create a culture of our own which honours scripture in totality and over time it would become a norm and because Man is wired to reject God, whenever we make scriptural references when talking about marriage to youths or would be couples they often imagine things like, "These Christians have come again" or "All this spiri spiri people" not because we are not saying the truth but the delivery is often wrong. What do we think is the best way to package marriage info and teaching so it can be interesting to intended couples and youth and not like some burden especially when we always have to make reference to scripture when doing so? #justasking 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by analice107: 10:11pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
Scholar8200:But, in a case where Brother is seeking guidance and Gods guides him to me, and brother finds me, don't you think the period that we use in putting stuff in order or we use in arranging for the marriage can be termed as courtship? |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by shadeyinka(m): 10:20pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
analice107: Wow! Demons may latch on to acts of masturbation. I don't think that it is in every case that demons take advantage of the act of masturbation. But it does happen and a person becomes addicted. People think of demons in terms of hideous possessions that afflict an individual but no! Some demonic afflictions are relatively mild looking in their activities But act as door openers to more powerful demonsbof destructions. Check out Peter who just finished declaring through the Holy Spirit that Jesus was the Son of God five minutes after , Jesus referee/called the same Peter (or actually the spirit speaking through him) "Satan"! get thee behind Me. Mat 16:23 But he turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men. However, today, we are not discussing demonic afflictions. In the case if formication, the Bible says;
The way I see it is transfer of spirits from one person to the other. Like spiritual HIV. Becoming one signifies sharing a part of your spiritual nature. If one of the parties harbour some demons, a few may relocate to their new house. If guys hear some of this kind of confessions exposed during deliverance, when that see a free of charge. They will pick race. They are destiny destroyers. I expect that demonic infection which could take place in fornication can be more terrible and dangerous in their activities. Flee! Fornication! Your bright destiny may be at stake |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by Nobody: 10:23pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
Scholar8200: My opinion is this...Courtship is sometimes involuntary and unconsciously done whether we want to or not. Courtship does not neccessarily mean the marriage would not hold as that is not the purpose of it but as long as both of you did not meet today and get married today there will always be a period of FRIENDSHIP which is said to be COURTSHIP. It could also be that both persons have already known each other and have been friends and by inner conviction got to know that they are meant to be together then by all means nothing stops you from tying the knot. I once read here on Nairaland about a man who proposed and got married to a lady same day so nothing is impossible. However a lot of wrong emphasis has been placed on seeking the mind of God and praying about your partner if he or she is the right one and this process can drag for a month or 2 according to whoever gave the instruction but to me this is wrong as the only condition given in scripture for a union to occur is that both of you must be believers...as long as that is the case then that is the mind of God for you. This is not saying that God cannot speak to you directly about whom your spouse is...He does but my point is this...why seek for more when you can already see? Courtship should be the decision of both intended couples and not imposed by any one. These days we see more cases of divorce even in the face of courtship while in the days of our fathers there was no courtship as some did not even know their spouses before marriage and their marriages lasted till death parted them but today wrong values and has eroded such realities. 1 Like |
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