I looked through the window at my lush garden, well-kept green lawn and the roses about to bloom. It was exceptionally beautiful this evening as Audu my gardener appears to have done a good job on it. The lights were glowing, giving it an ethereal effect. The special “Queen of the night” flower was giving off its unique and delightful scent as usual. I stepped out and looked at the beautiful surrounding and before I knew it… the tears began to roll down my cheeks. Thank God the children were indoors. What would I tell them?

Kole came back last night with the devastating news he has been trying to keep away from me for two weeks… The company Is downsizing. I should have guessed with the turbulence in the oil market and the cries of recession. I should really have been more prepared. Yes I listened to the news and also read about such things in the newspapers but I never thought it could affect Kole. Now he has lost his job. My husband, Kole, works hard. His promotion in the oil servicing firm has been very rapid and that got us within a few years to living in this exclusive part of town as an official residence. My husband is in his prime. He had everything under control and with the huge respect he enjoyed in his office, it was expected that he would be made the Managing Director in the next few years.

As I moved about the garden, touching some of the lovely flowers, I began to reflect upon the implication of this. We have not built a house (we were waiting for the right location), we travel about thrice a year or more, the children attend the best schools… OMG! I almost screamed as the tears began to tumble down again. What would we do? The school fees is huge! What would friends say? How will I face them? Changing schools is the first indication that the status of the family has changed. I chose those schools based on our income and the kind of people we want to associate with. I wanted a school that would align with our status and now everything has changed. Being very realistic, I know that such high-paying jobs do not come easily and we would need to take some hard decisions.

I am trying to imagine the effect of this on our three children aged between 6 and 12. How can I manage their emotions to ensure that they are not destabilized? With the benefit of hindsight, we made a lot of wrong decisions. We thought the income would always keep rising and our ‘piggy bank’ is not exactly healthy. My major worry is how do I manage the children in this traumatic period – change of home, school, lifestyle

Originally posted on http://www.allaboutschoolsng.com/blog/item/121-my-husband-lost-his-job-and-my-children-will-need-to-change-school

Join mmm and thank me later

Asegzy:
Join mmm and thank me later

SMH

See it as temporary setback. It's not how deep you fall but if you accept the situation or not.

Life happens.

Even if you had a healthy sized piggy bank, you wouldn't still be able to afford same lifestyle as long as the same income doesn't keep coming.

At most if might have paid that year's fees, rent, start a business if you're so inclined or whatever else needs to be done immediately after which you'll still need to downgrade.

Accept your new normal and try to make it work. Contentment is key to happiness.

It doesn't mean you shouldn't continue to strive for better. It just means that while you're below, try to make it work for you.

This story have just changed my mood. I feel sad, I understand your plight. A difficult situation, I know you are aware that cutting down your luxury life style is the way to go now.
It is not the end of the world

cococandy:
Life happens.

Even if you had a healthy sized piggy bank, you wouldn't still be able to afford same lifestyle as long as the same income doesn't keep coming.

At most if might have paid that year's fees, rent, start a business if you're so inclined or whatever else needs to be done immediately after which you'll still need to downgrade.

Accept your new normal and try to make it work. Contentment is key to happiness.

A lot of peoplw will disagreed with my statement, but I have to say it.

Madam, when all was going well how many people in your family did you assist ? Where you nice to the poor or you see them as nobody?

I know I should nt be asking such question. But the first thing that came to my mind after reading your write up, was what I decide to ask.
Draw closer to God remind him of every good thing you have done to his House( church or mosque) when all was going smoothly.

In all, very very soon, you and your family will testify.Non of your expectation shall be cut short.

Please adjust & move on for the moment. Be prayerful, God is able to turn the situation around

The woman has a lot of roles to play in situation like this. Agreeing to 'downgrade' not minding what people would say, respecting the husband more than before, etc.

No condition is permanent.


Sounds like a (fiction) story telling sha.

It's a matter of resizing, when the music change the dance should also change. Keep it simple, go for the needs and sacrifice the wants.

Just be realistic and be reasonable.

nigeria became a destroyed country.

If there is regular electricity supply the country would rapidly move forward, but the country "leaders" lack the capacity to get things right.

juman:
Just be realistic and be reasonable.

nigeria became a destroyed country.

If there is regular electricity supply the country would rapidly move forward, but the country "leaders" lack the capacity to get things right.

My Nigeria is not destroyed. It will flourish again

spawnx:

My Nigeria is not destroyed. It will flourish again

I have been hearing that lie for more than four decades.

nigeria go better turns out to be always lies.

nigerian "leaders" lack capacity to do that.

h

Hmmm!!! My Sympathy's with u. Its really a bitter pill to swallow when reality comes crashing in on u.
The mistakes u made by the decisions to meet up with the social class not minding that u have no solid backup such as a house of ur own, biznesses to keep money coming in and the likes; well its a wakeup call I must tell u. And if in th nearest future ur hubby gets another job, those tins shud be top on priorities.
Its really unwise spending huge amounts on rents, schools, vacations and the likes when u have nothing to call "ur own". Priorities first b4 frivolities. Its well.
Try overcome ur grief and be the best support for ur hubby cos it wnt be wise having both of u down at once. Give him the boost he needs to get back into the search for another job or bizness. Start no matter how little and inconsequential it may seem. Humble beginnings make u appreciate every effort and sweat towards ur success.

treasuredkids:
Hmmm!!! My Sympathy's with u. Its really a bitter pill to swallow when reality comes crashing in on u.
The mistakes u made by the decisions to meet up with the social class not minding that u have no solid backup such as a house of ur own, biznesses to keep money coming in and the likes; well its a wakeup call I must tell u. And if in th nearest future ur hubby gets another job, those tins shud be top on priorities.
Its really unwise spending huge amounts on rents, schools, vacations and the likes when u have nothing to call "ur own". Priorities first b4 frivolities. Its well.
Try overcome ur grief and be the best support for ur hubby cos it wnt be wise having both of u down at once. Give him the boost he needs to get back into the search for another job or bizness. Start no matter how little and inconsequential it may seem. Humble beginnings make u appreciate every effort and sweat towards ur success.

You have said well my sista, Problem is we all want comfort when we know we are suppose to invest. If he had invested in properties instead of travelling 3 times a year, He would just sell those properties & start a Business atleast.

Especially women who have a dream of a fairy tale lifestyle of traveling every 4 months. Instead of them to advise their husbands to invest, or their acquire new skills.

Most of the time, Sacked Oil company workers live a miserable life afterwards, because they are earning so much without any skill, so when they are out in the real world, They become entirely useless. Except for few of them, who actually has a skill that is required in 2016.

Oh yes!!! A lot of laid off oil workers are nothing to write home about. I really pray women will wake up from this fairytale lifestyle slumber to reality and be the best they can be not only to their families but the economy at large.
God help them I pray.

truthsayer007:


You have said well my sista, Problem is we all want comfort when we know we are suppose to invest. If he had invested in properties instead of travelling 3 times a year, He would just sell those properties & start a Business atleast.

Especially women who have a dream of a fairy tail lifestyle of traveling every 4 months. Instead of them to advise their husbands to invest, or their acquire new skills.

Most of the time, Sacked Oil company workers live a miserable life afterwards, because they are earning so much without any skill, so when they are out in the real world, They become entirely useless. Except for few of them, who actually has a skill that is required in 2016.

Interesting (fictional) story.

Having said that, I find it near impossible to empathise with the woman in this story as she played a big (though) indirect part in what her family is currently going through.

She wasn't and still isn't a very smart person.

First of all, she and the husband come across as the live for today, let tomorrow take care of itself kind of couple. Life is never all rosy. There will always be rough patches. The couple lived life on the fast lane without a single thought for the "what ifs". No savings, no investments, no insurance coverage, and worse still, no back up plans in place - especially with the current recession taking its toll on the economy.

And quite unbelievably, they depended entirely on his salaried income. What stopped her from getting a job of her own, even if part-time? Mtcheew. She isn't nursing a baby. No, rather than get up and use her God given brain, she chose to sit at home all dolled up in pancake and horse weave while punching above their weight. Okay, so in keeping up with the Joneses, let them use their "connections" / upper class social circle of friends to get the husband a new job. She's lucky the husband only lost his job. What if he had died?How would this bimbo of a woman survive financially??

Three expensive holidays a year. Top private schools. Rented accommodation in the lushest, highbrow part of town. Etc, etc all about to disappear and all she can do is stroll round the garden scenting Queen Of The Night, and bursting into tears?? I love this blog.

Anyway, she should start by selling off all her jewellery (except her wedding ring), expensive wrappers / clothes, horse weaves, shoes, bags, accessories, etc. One pair of shoes and a handbag is all she needs.

Oga should sell off all their cars and downgrade to a single, cheap car. He too should sell off his expensive gaming equipment, multiple electronic gadgets, iPads, iPhones, laptops, etc and retain just one item. He should keep some decent suits for job interviews though.

Expensive furniture should go except the basics. No more eating out at all. They should stick to local foods.

The money generated from selling off their "nice to haves", "could haves" and "should haves" will be enough th sort out their feeding for the time being and kick start a business. They should immediately downsize their home. The money saved from that may just about keep their kids in school for another year.

Madam should get off her arsè and start job hunting fervently.

Godchild2015:
A lot of peoplw will disagreed with my statement, but I have to say it.

Madam, when all was going well how many people in your family did you assist ? Where you nice to the poor or you see them as nobody?

I know I should nt be asking such question. But the first thing that came to my mind after reading your write up, was what I decide to ask.
Draw closer to God remind him of every good thing you have done to his House( church or mosque) when all was going smoothly.

In all, very very soon, you and your family will testify.Non of your expectation shall be cut short.

WTF are you talking about? When has giving people your sweat becomes and investment that repays you? I was expecting you to ask question of what and what they invested in, what business they had planned, what did they do with their money when they had it... Why no go work and give all your money to people because na u good pass.

I don't believe this story.

Nothing last forever, dats why it is always gd to plan and invest when things re rosy BC no one knows what 2moro will b. Two Heads re better dan one, with d amout of money d hubby has, i expected d wife 2 ve chains of business home and abroad by now she won't b crying bc her family will see what dey will fall back on ,till things get better. Instead she decided 2 b Obiageli/Oriaku Even if d story is nt true, at least it can happen to s/o and ppl will learn 4rm it 2.

njiasi30:
Nothing last forever, dats why it is always gd to plan and invest when things re rosy BC no one knows what 2moro will b. Two Heads re better dan one, with d amout of money d hubby has, i expected d wife 2 ve chains of business home and abroad by now she won't b crying bc her family will see what dey will fall back on ,till things get better. Instead she decided 2 b Obiageli/Oriaku Even if d story is nt true, at least it can happen to s/o and ppl will learn 4rm it 2.

Habba madam, which one be Obiageli/Oriaku again

truthsayer007:


Habba madam, which one be Obiageli/Oriaku again

it's an Igbo name gals bear.. Obiageli means she came to eat and nt to suffer while Oriaku means someone dats enjoying wealth.

Nicely written script

njiasi30:

it's an Igbo name gals bear.. Obiageli means she came to eat and nt to suffer while Oriaku means someone dats enjoying wealth.

Hmmm, what a discovery..I didn't know that o

truthsayer007:


Hmmm, what a discovery..I didn't know that o

which tribe re u 4rm?

Hunger never finish you yet. Instead of saving the little you have by changing school and location m. You are there crying about what people will say. Wait till you have to beg them for cup of garri.

njiasi30:

which tribe re u 4rm?

Yoruba demon's tribe

in life never be too comfortable with your comfort,
so wen life gives u the sourest of lemons
u can try to make out something that atleast tastes like lemonade

datola:
The woman has a lot of roles to play in situation like this. Agreeing to 'downgrade' not minding what people would say, respecting the husband more than before, etc.

No condition is permanent.


Sounds like a (fiction) story telling sha.

that is what it is.