,

they are both bad for u. don't withdraw ur complain, get a job, go to school. become independent. don't worry u will find other respectful SINGLE guys, there's this guy who was crazy in love with this girl back home or so we thought. but once she got here, he started abusing her, beating her, and bringing other women in the house and fucking them while he made her watch or sleep on the couch. but after sometime, she left him, went to a shelter, got a job, went to school, filed for alimony and child support and now the guy is the one crying

This is serious and my heart really bleeds for you poster.
Honestly I dont really know what to say . Oh my God !!!
If you dont mind how old are you and what is your family doing about it ? Your mother esp ?

I don't talk to my family and feel embarrassed in front of everyone. They feel sorry for me and it makes me feel like hell Rita I am 28-29 yrs ols

You can edit your age if you dont feel comfortable leaving it here.

You are still within reasonable age poster. It will also do you good to follow MissSexy's advise. I wish you could seek the forgiveness of your family cos as i see it,they are not happy with you esp your mother. I pray God gives you strenght to start afresh.Are you in Nigeria?

Gimme some views people, my post is long but I am desperate and devastated at this point!

The best thing for you now is to first makeup with your family. You can have no other like them.
It may not be easy but they will accept you back.
As for the men in your life, do away with them totally they will bring you nothing but grief at the end of the day.
Do not withdraw your complaint and start a new life.You will meet the right person down the road.

views sister is keep away from ur hubby.
dude is a monste and i can assure you would not change.
good enough you know that he simply acts nice now cos of the court issue.
what happesn when u withdraw it?

if i were you, i will not contemplate retrning to him, not to even mention sleeping with him again.
but then i know how the feelings of the past can draw us back, making us hope that things wud change.

i suggest you take a long walk, and i mean probably leave the city if you can .
you will always meet someone else, thats one thing thats sure.
if he would be better or just like your hubby all depends on you.

for your boss,
if he so cares for you, let him assist you in getting out of the situation you are in now.
you dont have to date him or something, as i assume he already has a family of his own.
that would amount to cuasing another woman pain, and am sure you dont wanna be the cause.

in all this, be strong, it would surely end well but you have to think positive.

big pity friend, i feel for you.

People should get to know the spouses before getting married!
Its the best advice you can ever get.
Dont be pressured to getting married to someone you barely know.

I think you should do what you've been advised. dont drop the complaints!!!


Which country are you talking of?                             dont date married men, though not time for castigations

My husband doesn't care about anything but th ex cares if I am alive or dead, he helped me financially too at the time I was almost takin g a woman refuge and then I took a job! My husband must know all this by his hacking tactics but still asks me, I was very weak n totally shattered but ex's help saved me from becoming a refugee

It sounds cheap but its a bigger help to be forgotten :| in times like this

Insert Quote
My husband doesn't care about anything but th ex cares if I am alive or dead, he helped me financially too at the time I was almost takin g a woman refuge and then I took a job! My husband must know all this by his hacking tactics but still asks me, I was very weak n totally shattered but ex's help saved me from becoming a refugee

It sounds cheap but its a bigger help to be forgotten :| in times like this


if we all feel indebted for good done us, we will still be paying people till this very minute.
tank God he was there when you needed him i mean ur boss, but dont feel u have to pay him back by going back into that r/s.
atleast u know u have one good frind you can always count on, and thats what he is meant to be.

just pick up the pieces of your life and move on.

Can someone pls sum this up for me so I can contribute? 

I understand coolier that it is actually very exhaustive but, so is my saga

@poster,
I understand you find it hard to mend with your family and forget your husband,move on with your life,and get closer to God,he only can help you heal completely and most definitely guys will come looking for you and try and be positive,i hate people that are negative and i guess same goes for most people,smile in the face of adversary.When you radiate happiness,good people tend to get attracted to people that are always happy.God help you.

When my husband makes sad face, I go weak in Knees, I dunno, I go and stay with him. Have written off the other guy completely from my life and now, am all alone, waiting for my husband to call, he calls very less. Why wouldn't he take me back if he loves me so much or is it all fake?

Men seem to be so mysterious at times, why do the ones we love the most make us feel so bad. I am alone, weak and nothing without him. God, I can't live!

I am deep in shit, How do I live. I have given up everyone, I am lonely and desperate but can't really talk to anyone or see anyone, as I start crying in the middle of the road, I feel very sad!!!!

like i told you,you need to move on,your destiny is in your hands,move on, i can help you if you wish.you need to make new friends pick up yourself,rediscover yourself, live a happy life again you can do it.belief me stop being hard on yourself,you prefer to battered by your husband?its no use,move on,

it seems you have made up your mind to remain in the mood and situation that you have found yourself in. people here are telling and giving you hints on how to move on but you keep saying

No Life:

I am deep in shit, How do I live. I have given up everyone, I am lonely and desperate but can't really talk to anyone or see anyone, as I start crying in the middle of the road, I feel very sad!!!!

what do you want them to say again. just try to listen without bringing up negative talks, because it seems your hubys mind and attitude is rubbing off on you.

i would suggest you dont waste your sorrows. use this as a propelling force to get up , and do what you have to do to enhance your quality of life, then you can even meet true love along the way.

@ OP,
Going through your post, I can tell that you are the kind of woman who'd rather date a zombie than be alone. The moment you learn to be on your own and be independent (both emotionally and financially) you will avoid most of life's drama. Work on your esteem, your confidence, your strength, your intelligence and when the time comes when you will feel in your heart that you have become a better, stronger woman, get a man for yourself. I don't think you are ready to meet someone new yet. Which man wants a woman with a baggage from her prior relationships?

Do whatever it takes to make yourself happy and comfortable. . . . . Get a job, think of a business, whatever. . . . just learn THE ART OF INDEPENDENCE. You are undergoing a lot of stress levels and I bet it's all showing in your face. Treat yourself to a beauty therapy, go for facials, manicures, pedicures. . . . . in short, make yourself look and FEEL good.

NB- Lessons you ought to have learnt from your experience

1. Nobody else is responsible for your happiness. Don't believe the shit that men say that they will make you the happiest woman on earth. If somebody can make you happy, then they can make you sad.
2. Nothing turns off a man like a lonely desparado. Never ever show a man that you are desperate (even when you long for him like water in a desert).
3. There's nothing as bad as a man who imagines that you are nothing without him - always keep your options open. . . . GET A JOB!
4. Love your man in moderation, but love yourself more.
5. There are always tell-tale signs of drama early into a relationship. As soon as you detect them, FLEE like a rat.

But hey, I wish you a quick recovery and DO NOT GO BACK TO YOUR HUSBAND.

My dear, continue with the court proceedings on the basis of domestic violence.

It is not love if you're going through all this, your life comes first. I know someone who's been through a similar situation but now she has moved on with her life, got her own place, has a steady job, is going to school and is making ends meet for herself. You can take a loan if you need financial support.

If all these things are not working in your favour, then go back to your family. Family comes first and they love you best. There is no need for you to suffer and God forbid, die in another man's land. Dont become a statistic.

Dont put your trust in men. Never ever. God is our only means, OK?