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Working It Out? - Romance - Nairaland

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Working It Out? by angelbart: 5:21pm On Nov 07, 2009
I'm married 18
Re: Working It Out? by sistajay(f): 5:27pm On Nov 07, 2009
Was this a short gun weddin? Did you entrap him?
Re: Working It Out? by angelbart: 5:31pm On Nov 07, 2009
No, definately was not a shot-gun wedding, we booked the wedding 12 months in advance, we had our son before we got married-did not marry because of being pregnant. We were going to get married the year before but decide against it as we didn't want it to look that way.
Re: Working It Out? by sistajay(f): 5:37pm On Nov 07, 2009
Im so sorry, you're havin to go through all this ALONE, looks likes he wants OUT!! Nothin you say or do pleases him anymore. Its so SAD! cry I pray he comes to his senses soon and be the husband you longed for!!
Re: Working It Out? by Godmother2: 5:52pm On Nov 07, 2009
angelbart:

I'm married 18 months and things have been terrible. He always thinks he is right, even when he is wrong and does what he wants when he wants and if I complain at all I am always selfish. Everything comes before his family and he doesn't help at all.

I work a 40 week, get the baby up, take to childminder, work, then come home clean and cook and basically go to sleep. He goes to work at his leisure, works, then does what he wants, goes to the pub, watch footie, sees mates but never helps out. The worst thing though is his coldness, he never says or does anything nice for me (i.e, sweet words, a nice gesture, no kisses and no sex). We have not been together really but all the family think we are and some of his family have been off with me becuase they think i am not performing my wofely duties but how can I with no husband!

Lately we have been trying to work it out, really working issues out but he blames it all on me and thinks I should change, I admit I can be a bit moody too at times but I certainly do not nag or pester him. Whilst we are trying to work it out, whilst he will sleep in the same bed, he refuses to hug me, kiss me or have any sexual contact. When I mention as I did a few days ago that intimacy and affection is an important part also that we need work on he says I am selfish and that that is all I am interested in. I have only had sex or any contact with him 3 times this year, twice January and once feb but I am climbing the walls with frustration and it is really affecting me When I raise the subject he just tells me to shut the f**k up and stop being slefish.

I even told him that I don't think he fancies me anymore-even though I do think I am an atttractive woman- and if that is the case I will accept it but I do not want to exist in that kind of cold unaffectionate marriage.

It is really hurting me, I feel so starved of affection, love and a partner that shows any understanding and compassion to me. I just don't know what to do, I think I need to leave this man,[b] his behaviour evens makes me worry he may be gay although he is very against gays-[/b]not my opinion but I just can't understand a husband wanting to work things out with his wife but to not have sex-it is 9 months since we last were close.

As I read your post this was what came to my mind. And his having strong anti-gay views is not enough evidence. In my opinion its either this or he probably has someone who meets his needs elsewhere. The guy obviously has no interest inyou or your marriage.
Re: Working It Out? by r231(m): 6:06pm On Nov 07, 2009
Godmother-:

As I read your post this was what came to my mind. And his having strong anti-gay views is not enough evidence. In my opinion its either this or he probably has someone who meets his needs elsewhere. The guy obviously has no interest inyou or your marriage.

exactly
Re: Working It Out? by LordReed(m): 6:24pm On Nov 07, 2009
Wat I'll like to know is how ur courtship went. If he was distant during the period then he might not have changed.
Re: Working It Out? by posakosa(m): 6:58pm On Nov 07, 2009
@ OP: R u legally blind ? Do u use a walking stick ? undecided undecided undecided
Re: Working It Out? by bluespice(f): 7:02pm On Nov 07, 2009
Godmother-:

As I read your post this was what came to my mind. And his having strong anti-gay views is not enough evidence. In my opinion its either this or he probably has someone who meets his needs elsewhere. The guy obviously has no interest inyou or your marriage.
Re: Working It Out? by SisiKill1: 7:58pm On Nov 07, 2009
Didn't you guys date?
Re: Working It Out? by 190yaris1: 8:56pm On Nov 07, 2009
WHAT is this post all about

im married 18~

This is Pure madness~
Re: Working It Out? by Nobody: 8:57pm On Nov 07, 2009
Hahahah babes somebody already quoted your post so its out there why did you delete it then? cheesy cheesy cheesy
Re: Working It Out? by tpm(m): 9:11pm On Nov 07, 2009
It's a pity. My advice is, do not give up. Pray hard to God. I do not think u hav considered that option all these while. Lord who ordains marriage does not abandon it to fade away. He said "he who findeth a wife, findeth a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord". That favor is what u clamour for today and its not far from u. Don't even think of quitting the marriage. It will work. Just take it to almighty in prayer. The lord says, "whatever u asked in my name, i will do" (Jn 14.14). He never changeth, he is the same today, tomorow and forever (Heb. 13.cool. He can change that bad situation. No matter how huge our problems are, he can solve them for us. Take your husband's weakness to be ur strength and make prayers ur stronghold. And you shall see the man u married in no time. Wish you gudluck.
Re: Working It Out? by deji2009(m): 12:25am On Nov 08, 2009
@ebonyeye. would like to add you to my messenger list.

Regards

Deji
Re: Working It Out? by Nobody: 12:34am On Nov 08, 2009
deji2009:

@ebonyeye. would like to add you to my messenger list.

Regards

Deji
Be my guest grin

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