God, I am not comfortable any longer.
I know I have done terrible things in my life so far, I also know that you are a merciful God.
I have....

Please my dear Listener, I will like to continue my confused life story around 10pm today, when my mind will be at easy with my soul.

Please, am really confused, and Am so much in need of your private advice and words of encouragement.

So na yr confused life story i go come read by 10. Ok oh

u never ready for advice

Please brethren, try to understand me. I am not telling you to wait till that time, but you can simply long in at any time of your choice to advice me after the story. I t will be a continuous help you will be rendering to me. please, your coments will even help me to keep my hope alive. Please try to understand.

Happy Sunday to you all, I am really sorry for my inability to tell my story as scheduled yesterday by 10pm.
It was due to unforeseen circumstances, but I will make it up today by his grace. Thank you.

CONT...
Please am really serious with my story, not to draw your attention but to restore what I am about to lose.

I don't really know my true calling. I don't know if I am called to be a Man of God or to get married.

Why?

Because, I have never spoken to any girl for friendship and lose her, she must say yes hoping and praying to be my wife.
But how do I feel when such happen, my love and feelings for her will instantly starts to fade upon hearing: "I wish you will be my husband."

Now, why?

Knowing that I will lose her if I don't get to tell her, "I also wish the same, but all is by the grace of God" without she knowing that my mind to serve the Living God, to restore the glory of his people back, to set the prisoners free and comfort the people of God has been compleetly made up.

But why? You know you will not marry her and yet get to meet her for friendship?

Not really for marriage but to restore the dignity of women' worth and to raise those who will realize the weight of power that was bestowed on them. To bring them closer to God and make them pillar of love when they eventually get married.

You must be joking, How possible?
Maybe, because no girl has ever ignored my proposal for friendship or because God want to test you or because you are not meant to be a man of God, or because you are making a mistake.

These has been my questions since the past 8 years.

Now I am confused on what to do.

Who am I? Now I have never for one day in my thought substituted This call for man of God with any other issue, but in reality, am not getting the whole thing right. I know this. But, the worst case is this....

I am presently with a girl who is totally helpless, who depend on me for survival, and am having an affair with her which was not my initial intention, but due to her loneliness and way of reactions each time am with her discussing, I couldn't tell her the truth again.

One day, I told her, I think am not ready to get married but to be a man of God if God permits it. Guess what? She cried all night and on the curse of telling her to stop crying I told her I was just joking. Hoping that things will stabilize as time goes by.

What should I do? This I asked my self. Should I tell her the Truth about my true feeling for anything including my family when it comes to making decision on my vocation. I am afraid she will cry blood and may get the whole thing wrong. I am afraid she will think my real intention for helping was just to sleep with her which never was my intention. She may count me among "those guys" as she use to tell me while telling me her past experience.

This girl need me to wipe her tears away. She was rejected by families and parents for no reason, she was forced to believe that she was cursed. Which I proved to her that she is blessed and not cursed.

Now, should I quit every Friendship with girls to control my feelings. Then what will be their fate?
Should I tell this girl to leave. Then what will happen to her?
Should I continue with her and also with other girls believing that God will make away? Then what happens to my feelings and thoughts as a man of God to be?

Please, tell me, advice me with the direction of the Spirit.
Please, remember that I know that I may have made a mistake, but that is why I decided to break the silence.
I am also finding it difficult to make strong decisions based on facts, if not I will just leave everything behind aand start a new life.

Please tell me.

If am left to die in silence, God knows. Please, I really need your advice and words of encouragement.