Yinka is a banker while his wife, Funsho, is a journalist. By virtue of their jobs, the two of them close late . They’ve been married happily for two years before trouble reared its head in their home. That was when the children started coming. Yinka suddenly realized that his wife must come back home early to take care of their two children as their housemaid has given notice of her leaving at the end of the month.

The pressure is on Funsho at home and her office as her editor is always on her neck to deliver. Now the bombshell Yinka wants her to quit her lucrative job, and by implication, her budding career to take care of her children. This is a job that took her several years of job-hunting to secure. She was not sure the job would be waiting for her when she decides to return. She is at a crossroads.

Many men are asking their wives to quit their jobs to take care of the children and for other reasons that range from perceived infidelity at the office and health grounds. If you were in this situation, what would you choose? Your home or your job?

Fellow Nairalanders, what's your view on this? Meanwhile here is what a number of wives interviewed had to say on this. Excerpts:

GBEMI .A
I don’t think any man can say that without a cause, no. For a man to tell me or his wife to quit her job means he must be suspecting foul play. It is only when a woman cheats on her husband and the husband on the other hand knows that he can advise her to quit her job and become a full time housewife, or on health grounds, or whether to be able to give more attention to her children.
If nothing of these happened, it means the man is trying to shoulder the entire burden in the home, and I think it is not advisable for such a woman to quit her job. The man might die at anytime and what would happen after his demise? The family will have to start from the scratch.

MRS. FRIDAY
It depends on his reasons. If his reasons are not selfish, I think I would accept it.
First, I think the reasons which could make me quit my job will have to be poor health and demands of my family. I think there is a particular stage in our female children’s lives, especially when they are getting matured in life that requires attention.
Secondly, for me to quit my job, I think my husband should be financially strong to cater for the family, because when the wife stops working, the entire burden rests on the man alone and sometimes it could be too heavy on him. That is why it is good for the wife to also be supportive in terms of finance.

GOLD
It is not always advisable for a woman to quit her job in order to be a full time housewife, because the burden of running the home will be one sided. In other words, it will not be balanced and this of course, would be too much on the man.
Challenges don’t knock on your doors, they come when you least expect. If the husband alone should shoulder the burden, you can guess what would happen.
For example, if the man suddenly dies and the wife does not work, how do you think the wife will survive? No matter the investment the husband had before he died, if nothing is done to service a car, what happens to the car? It will break down.
There is no successful man that sleeps at home and expects a great boom in his wealth or assets. So, a family that would survive the test of time should be up and doing.
The wife should necessarily not be a civil servant, no. She could have a shop in front of the house or supply goods to people to eke a living.

MRS. CONSTANCE NWOKE
First, I would say no. I would first explain to him why I wouldn’t quit my job. Although, sometimes it is good to stay at home and look after the children.
I think if my work does not take more of my time… if perhaps it is the type that is between the hours of 8 a.m. and 5 p.m., well, I think there is no need quitting the job. But if it is one that keeps me out late, then, I have no alternative than to quit.
One important thing is that my neighbours could start gossiping that I don’t work. They would start calling me names and say that you are the lazy type, you are not considerate,and that you are milking your husband dry .

COMFORT O.
I think I know that women, no matter their educational qualifications, end up in the kitchen. Indirectly, the woman would definitely cook or serve her husband food, it does not mean she will forever remain in the kitchen or sleeping in the kitchen. Women who value their homes would not want their husbands snatched from them.
If I have a good job that can supplement my husband’s income, I don’t think there should be any reason to quit.
Although some men tell their wives to quit their jobs out of selfishness, this applies to the jealous men who would always monitor their wives everywhere they go, read her text messages and would always want to know their callers.
But I can say that any man who does that is prone to hypertension and nothing more. Nothing positive comes out of such things; they are the types of men who tell their wives to quit their jobs without substantial reason(s).
Every man should, at least appreciate his wife’s efforts to complement his efforts in the family. For me, I don’t think it is possible because I cannot allow my certificates to be a waste.

MRS. ADIGUN
I don’t think I would quit irrespective of what his reasons could be.
One, he should have thought of what would be beneficial to both of us, not his own interest alone.
If he is considerate enough, I think he should have known that it is good to always balance an equation. It is like a car that has three tyres; there is no way it would be balanced on the road.
No matter how rich a man could be, he should allow his wife to have something to support the family with. There are always times people run out of cash. Sometimes, our husbands are not paid early enough. In that case, it is the wife that supports the family pending the time the man is paid.We have seen homes where the wife is the breadwinner because the husband’s take home is nothing to talk about. Amidst this, there is understanding and joy.
So tell me, if such woman does not work, what would happen to the family?

MRS. BUKKY AJOSE
I won’t do that for any reason. God forbid! If I decide to take to his advice, what happens if, God forbids, he dies suddenly? Where would I get money to cater for the family? There are in-laws who send their daughters-in-law packing immediately after the death of their son. They would not allow her take anything out of the house, not minding the children their son had before he died. Some of them send both the children and their mother packing.
So, when my husband tells me to quit my job and become a full-time housewife, what would become of me and my responsibilities to the family? What would I be doing sitting at home all day?

MRS. AINA SANYAOLU
I don’t think it is possible for my husband to tell me to quit my job because when men need something from a woman they start pretending and immediately they get it, they would change their attitude towards you. God forbid, if he dies, and does not have anything on ground to cater for the family, where would I run to?
As a mother and a good wife, there are things one should do for the children, for example, assisting in terms of finances, but what happens when you suddenly stop working?

Source:
The Sun Newspaper of 15/11/2009
By GIDEON OPARINDE

dangerous quitting ur job for a man i kno someone that did and it is now telling on her. If it is putting a strain on the marriage then i might but it would be safe to have a formal contract to have some form of financial compensation (substantial payment) from the husband just to make sure it is not a way for him to remove the woman's "options".

My husband doesn't even need to tell me to quit my job because I intend to take a job/have my own business that would allow me spend more time with my kids. . .

Especially during the critical formative years of my children lives. . .I intend to always be around them. . .because its at this point children learn whatever they learn and if you miss out on bringing them up properly. . .then you probably miss out on it all!

Ain't allowing some housemaid raise my kids for me. . .heck NO!

hell no , i wount o except for health reasons

That Gbemi person. . .the first respondant is a first class idiot.

candyshore:

hell no , i wount o except for health reasons

Good

Sisi_Kill:

That Gbemi person. . .the first respondant is a first class idiot.

Are you reading what she said at all? How is she an idiot?

I would NOT under any condition quit my job. At worst, I will look for a less demanding job.

The same man that asks you to quit your job will turn around to resent you when the financial pressures start mounting on him.

I kno some women will QUIT just because of the husbands OKO(dick), lol

Power of that KONDO, kai!!

riversman:

I kno some women will QUIT just because of the husbands OKO(privates), lol

Power of that KONDO, kai!!

It all depends on the situation and the individuals involved. I love my husband, my children, my home and my job
in dat order. As one who loves to do stuff, I might not be able to cope with staying home. But for the sake of my
children, I might consider doing business which will provide me more time to spend on the homefront. This has to
be discussed, agreed, planned and implemented before I put in my paper. I wouldn't want story after quitting.

BUT IF U ARE GETTING THAT GOOD KONDO IT WILL BE HARD TO THINK STRAIGHT>, lol, u gi dey shout, my TOTO oh, My WORK oh, yeee

@ topic,

It should depend on the age of the children, no be so?

Most right-thinking women would wanna spend time with the kids during their formative years and dont need to be told to cut their working hours down.

A definate No, NO!

Yep. . . . . I can do it, once he gives me my own business, in my name, that I can run from home and employ who the hell I like to look after it in my absence whilst raising our 3 children.

Though i am a male, but notwithstanding i will not go headlong to ask my wife to quit her job for any useless reasons but if i must, there must be a very good and sincere reason for that, i will sit with her and discause the issue amicably and let her see reasons why she must quit. But i won't just act like one useless bully who wants to show he is the head and not the tail and given such rubbish orders such as quit your job all in the name of pride or any stupid reasons in the name of husband.

What type of question is this?

no.
you dont want to be too dependent on your husband. what if the marriage doesnt work out and you dont have a job?
eventually he can use his money to control you as he sees you are so dependent on him.
if you have a job, keep it. even work part time. but i wouldnt quit cause you may never know what is going to happen to your marriage.

Why can't she just go part time since journalism is her passion or better still work from home? (this is me with ma western world cap on)
I think before he can demand such he ought to be able to provide a business that will churn out enough income in comparison to what she currently earns.
If not then he should resign and raise the kids. It's a 2 way thing and bloody equal partnership.

Best bet is to get another house help and plead for the wife to reduce the hours at work.

SOME WOMEN ARE TOO DEPENDENT ON THAT THING called DICK, i dey tell una, DICK CAN MAKE SOME WOMEN THINK LIKE IDIOTS,,

WOW It's an hard one, I'm sincerely short of words here, but if the man thinks he can carry all the burden alone" I mean financially" then i'd advise the Wife to Quit cos  Children they say are the Future of the Tomorrow, So it's best when they thread on the right path.

THE-AMAKA:

no.
you dont want to be too dependent on your husband. what if the marriage doesnt work out and you dont have a job?
eventually he can use his money to control you as he sees you are so dependent on him.
if you have a job, keep it. even work part time. but i wouldnt quit cause you may never know what is going to happen to your marriage.

I agree, that's why whatever the decision-I have to win.

jay bee:

Why can't she just go part time since journalism is her passion or better still work from home? (this is me with ma western world cap on)
I think before he can demand such he ought to be able to provide a business that will churn out enough income in comparison to what she currently earns.
If not then he should resign and raise the kids. It's a 2 way thing and bloody equal partnership.

Best bet is to get another house help and plead for the wife to reduce the hours at work.

Impossible, that's another wahala waiting to happen.

QUIT JOB KO, QUIT NI!!!! NONSENSE! SO THAT YOU CAN BE SAYING 'PAPA BIOLA PLS GIVE ME MONEY TO BUY ICE FISH' TUFIAKWA!! NEVER.

WHY SHOULD HE SAY THAT? I WILL NEVER ACCEPT THAT.

Secretz:



Impossible, that's another wahala waiting to happen.

they probably still gonna need one with or without her resigning.
I hope u know people live in big houses compared to the cramped abode we live here in the UK

No
I will neva do such a thing, i mean to quit my job just because of one man says so and wat if sumthing happens to the marriage

it is not possible because am a politician in making

jay bee:

they probably still gonna need one with or without her resigning.
I hope u know people live in big houses compared to the cramped abode we live here in the UK

ROFL. . . . Of course now.

For whatever reason, the raising of kid/children in any family should be of paramount important, and this should not be compromised in any way.
Quitting one’s job should be considered if situation demands for it, however for any industrious woman, she will always come up with good ideas on how to handle the situation.

There are millions and one job that allows enough time for the woman to cater for her family if she’s willing to pursue such.
At worse case, she can be on her own business, and the husband should support her to make this happen.

Please guys, marry someone you can always trust and tolerate; marriages are working and had been working. Don’t go into it with the mindset that one day it will crash………………….plsssss

I can never quit my job simply because my husband say so.  If our work schedule is taking the two of us away from the home for a long time I could make a sacrifice of looking for another job that is less demanding or work on part time basis.

Not after what happen to my friend. A chartered accountant with about 15years experience and the husband asked her to quit her job & be a full time wifey.  It became a big issue with friends & family intervening.  Eventually, my friend got a less demanding job (even though with less salary) and guess what? The husband died 2 years after and she automatically became the bread winner.

Akwa-Ugo nwannem nwanyi take it easy now. Why must it be ice fish you will demand money for? Of course we know only very few women will quit their jobs on demand and be called 'liabilities' later.

Not in this world
I like my independence
Will not be dependent on a man for money
Chukwu aju!