@ Koolchicco, the last time i checked, i didn't marry u lol!

Ije004:

@ Koolchicco, the last time i checked, i didn't marry u lol!

Where u did u check? U prolly checked at the Registry abi?

Well soz to disappoint u but na Islamic marriage we do.

Fhemmmy:

She wont go back to Mama and Papa, you will have to move out of the house and she will be living there with the kids

Me go leave my house 4 who? Where dat kind yeye thing dey happen? Bros I be Omo 9ja.

Anyway, Mama Obi no even fit try dat kin thing with me sef!

koolchicco:

Where u did u check? U prolly checked at the Registry abi?

Well soz to disappoint u but na Islamic marriage we do.

Lol

koolchicco:

Me go leave my house 4 who? Where dat kind yeye thing dey happen? Bros I be Omo 9ja.

Anyway, Mama Obi no even fit try dat kin thing with me sef!

You will surprised.
You will be the one to go and find a basement apartment to chill

@ Fhemmy, i couldnt agree more.

Some guys on this thread that try to act macho actually play the role of the MRS in their relationships/marriages. Na today??

Ije004:

@ Fhemmy, i couldnt agree more.

Some guys on this thread that try to act macho actually play the role of the MRS in their relationships/marriages. Na today??

Lol

Ije004:

@ Fhemmy, i couldnt agree more.

Some guys on this thread that try to act macho actually play the role of the MRS in their relationships/marriages. Na today??

Anyways, Diff strokes for Diff folks.

koolchicco:

Anyways, Diff strokes for Diff folks.

Small small oh

^^Na so life be. Easy does it!

@ TOPIC

NO WAY!!

that is the foolishest thing to do

men do that for power NOT for love
he wants to have the power to dictate to you and MONEY gives him that power
it is a pity some sisters dont realise that
a man who LOVES u will want you to spread ur wings and fly

ummmmmmmmmmm ^^^

the best thing is for the lady to resign and the guy should use his resources to get a business for her, so that as one stream of income closes another one will open.the woman should apply for her leave so that she can tidy things up and settle down with the new business.
if not, when there is financial pressure he will abuse the woman and make her look worthless.

there are various options to explore here.

1. why is the husband asking the wife to quit? is it that they cant get another househelp?

2. why does the woman need to be told to quit when she knows that family comes first before job?

3. why are most commentators in this topic who say they will refuse to quit not residing in nigeria?

Just my two cents!

@ RUSKY

1- good point

2- So why does the MAN NOT quit himself , why shd it be the woman?

3- maybe because we have received an enlightenment that the home sisters have not, Money is what puts food on the table, but this is not just about the money it is about a woman not taking marriage as the ONLY parameter for sucess in life,

Working does not only bring money into the family and so give the children a brighter future, it make the woman independent to some respect, and economic viability is a good power to have, she will not find herself in the situation where she is holding on to a marriage in shreds just because she will have nothing to eat when that marriage is over, she will therefore be able to hold onto her rights and not tolerate abuse

Working makes her understand the VALUE of money which is key in ANY relationship, a person who does not work does not understand the sweat involved in bringing the money, when i was in unversity and still getting handouts from my parents, i was more extravagant than i am now, it is not a question of education, it is the Value of money that i have come to understand, working for it myself.

Working protects her from insecurities, look at the situation of widows who are not working, they suffer when their husbands die, and the relatives come in and take everything, if the woman is working, she finds herself is a less pityful situation because she can take care of the children herself without depending on her husbands inheritance. if Stella damasus was not working for example, she would have cried herself dry when her husband died, i dont need to remind you of what she went through.

These are my three cents.

Hi All m very new on this block from SA. found this block by chance and the topic somewhat struck home. No! I am not married and about to leave my job but marriage is one of the things I've yet to do with my life. Anyway! I personally would quit my job to be a home maker. I am a sucker for kiddies and healthy families, maybe because they are so rare these days, however as a women given an opportunity to do that I would live for it. Whether it works out or not in the end I would have done what I truly believe in with my life. Its a legacy I want to live behind. There'll always be two possible outcome in things we do they will either work out or not the question is, are you ready for the choices you are about to make? and when you take that chance do it to the full and never regret anything. Things aren't always as bad as they seem especially when things don't work out to the best of our interest one can always pick up the pieces. Just make sure you always have the skill to fend for yourself when times are tough,

I think as women we make decisions that are right for men and not for us hence we get frustrated when things dont pay off (please dont stone me yet), then we want to play the blame game. It is your right to get up and go to work same as when the choice is the opposite. Just make sure you do not blame anyone when it goes wrong because you made that choice for yourself (I am not talking about beng selfish, but state of contentment. PLEASE do not rub it on a man's face that you are an independant woman and you make your own choices "to work or not to work" just make sure that when you say yes it feels right within so that when you look back you can look back with tears of joy, pride and your head held high,

Well that's justs my one cent opinion,

Well its very dangerous for me to quit my job but if my husband will provide me with a good business fine,as for the children ll fine a maid for them or better bring my mum to take care of them. Quit my job NO i can

Newbie welcome.

Reaiah:

Well its very dangerous for me to quit my job but if my husband will provide me with a good business fine,as for the children ll fine a maid for them or better bring my mum to take care of them. Quit my job NO i can

Like u said, if there is a biz to do, at least u keep an open mind . . . that is a good enuf.

Dressmaker u must be a verrrrrrrryyy patient person

99% of Naija women will quit if Hubby insists!! Even if they say otherwise on NL when it comes to reality they will respect and obey their husbands!!

So my sisters, make una no listen to those women who advise you to do otherwise since they will be the first to go for your hubby when you leave the house!!

I know of a couple who separated over such an issue and the next day the man was being pestered by the wife's best friends to who were still single to move in with him.

Nijasingh:

99% of Naija women will quit if Hubby insists!! Even if they say otherwise on NL when it comes to reality they will respect and obey their husbands!!

So my sisters, make una no listen to those women who advise you to do otherwise since they will be the first to go for your hubby when you leave the house!!

I know of a couple who separated over such an issue and the next day the man was being pestered by the wife's best friends to who were still single to move in with him.

I think the number is getting smaller by day, cos more women are speaking up now and also, cos more men are allowing their wives to work and gone are those days when the man will slave to prove that he is a man.

Dressmaker:

When the man met the woman, she was working. He fell for her, loved her and married her. Now He wants to change things. Will he fancy, respect, appreciate,value and regard her when she stays home looks after the kids and grow fat? Will he be paying her salary for staying home.

If its about infidelity? Is it not easier for a house wife to cheat? She has got more time for this. A work environment just looks like a lot is going on because you see a lot of interaction between the opposite sex.

Is it about finding time for the family? The woman can find a Job that won’t take the whole. She can teach, lecture or be her own boss.

I personally value quality time spent with family. I also know that God wants us-women to be submissive but…Its not as easy as it sounds. I will try to convince him and if he still insists I will quit but then it will make me very saddddddd and he will be affected too so I get to go back to work.lol.

That is very true.
But i think most of the times, the reason a man would want his wife to be home is cos he wanna be the bread winner and make the woman to stay .home and take care of home and the kids

Nijasingh:

99% of Naija women will quit if Hubby insists!! Even if they say otherwise on NL when it comes to reality they will respect and obey their husbands!!

So my sisters, make una no listen to those women who advise you to do otherwise since they will be the first to go for your hubby when you leave the house!!

I know of a couple who separated over such an issue and the next day the man was being pestered by the wife's best friends to who were still single to move in with him.

with no offence to your person

it is this kind of reasoning that makes women very married but very sad

You cannot live ur life for someone else

Of course you have to quit your job if your hubby insists.But there must be justifiable grounds for him to insist on your quitting and he should at list be able to come up with a plan B for you,that should not have the reasons he asked you to leave the first job and should pay reasonably close to or higher than the first job

A lot of you make valid points indeed, even in our differences. My thing about this is that people tend to make a huge mistake in the beginning. For everybody that plans on getting married, this is one of the many issues of discussion between partners as soon as people start thinking marriage. Its called planning, because there's is a goal to achieve here "A successfil marriage" The mistake we do is that we get so caught up in the ideal wedding day and not marital life. Not to mention how we quickly we want to go and brag to our friends about the proposal.

Things to talk about will include role definition, how many children and please do not make as many as Angelina Jolie the poor guy wants to go and hang out with the boys without any guilt some time LOL!. Yes you can adopt a child and I take a bow for those who do. I would love to give one homeless child a home. Who goes to work and who doesn't, God knows my future husband had better be at work and we can both work no problem times are tough, some of us want to explore our talents. Who takes care of what bills, sex yes I said it how to accommodate each other, what happens when we develop new interests. It shouldn't mean people are growing apart however, new interest should not be demeaning or offensive to your family (Respect), and in fact your relationship should help you become a better person everyday or at least make you want to be a better person even from the beginning.

Does he/she inspire you, understand your drive and is he/she willing to support you. Remember you will remain individuals within a union. I certainly dont think you want to be the same person 10 years later. Then we are just taking up too much space on earth we might as well die, since we are here to do nothing. Oh! there's an issue on religion please agree on that as well. Remember its not going to be a bed of roses. Where you dont agree one of you has to yield its not the end of the world.

Let's agree on one fact then, that your partner's wanting you to quit your job should not have come as a surprise, you should have done your spot checks from the beginning Hey!,

Oh Koolchicco thanks for the welcome and to all of you thanks for engaging me in this topic

@Sa Lady

All da best. Long may u live, Mate!

Unless na ashawo work

But, nahh man!! I didn't go uni just for someone who says he loves me to then turn around and tell me to quit my job. I don't care if he's the richest man in the world. What if I get bored?!

I'll tell him to piss off (first reaction anyway)

*Shentz*:

I'll tell him to piss off (first reaction anyway)

Then, that first reaction my be followed with some action you will hate.

kellorah:

Unless na ashawo work

But, nahh man!! I didn't go uni just for someone who says he loves me to then turn around and tell me to quit my job. I don't care if he's the richest man in the world. What if I get bored?!

It cld be to start you off with some nice biz of your choice and be more happy.

Hell to d big no, only on two conditions, pay off my remaining student loans and open a business 4 me
I did not spend all those yrs in college for nothing

^^^ Fair deal

Dats bull shit,why would a man ask his wife 2 quit her career for total motherhood,dats d height of selfishness i"ve ever heard.i know nigerian men 2 have stupid ego,even wen d ego is not necessary,but it"s sumtin d woman can sit with d husband amicably and iron tins out,she should make him realise how much time,hardwork and effort got her 2 were she is but if d guy insist dat she should stick 2 motherhood,dats den i"ll draw d line,hey u knew wot i was doing b4 i got marid n how much effort it tuk me 2 get dis job,i as a person if i know were am comin from (god 4bid such a man from comming my way) ill file 4 a divorce.wen my kids grow up dey can luk 4 dia fada (if dey like) i"m surprised dat animals like dat still exist