EfemenaXY:


Sure you do.



Subscribing...

This is almost as good as Hints!

Hints! Many a hot afternoon I'd furtively thumb through that steamy mag. Dreaming of what adventures I'd have when I got older. Most never came to pass.

EfemenaXY:


Sure you do.



Subscribing...

This is almost as good as Hints!

....So what do you think, pls if you are strongly concerned like I do, kindly share your views, advice or suggestions. Funny though but true, the lady always check out to see what you guys have to say. She used to say "the voice of the people is the voice of God"

Fellow nairalanders, yesterday was friday. The proposed Naming ceremony of the mistress baby boy. Contrary to all expectation of violence and physical commotion, a "silence disaster happend.

As expected the husband got back from jos where he had training organised by his company for senior staff members.
According to the lady, who was crying as she narrated what happend, her husband bought her some expensive clothing and jeweries, foodstuffs and a lot of fruits,looking surprised as she received the gifts, her husband told her to prepare a nice meal for them to eat. While this was going on, there were strange people trooping in to the house,looking cheerful and congratulating everyone they saw. She couldn't say much as her husband who just came back bought things for her and ask her to prepare meal.

At about 2pm after they had eating and in the midst of people still trooping in and the family of the mistress welcoming and serving guest, her husband went up to her and cheerful asked for divorce, that he no longer wishes to marry her and be with her, and that the gifts he bought for her was his parting way of saying it was over.

Coincindentally as this was going on inside, the mistress and the child arrived and there was jubilation all around that the legal wife didn't know what to say, she just broke down in tears and went to meet her family member to tell what had just happened inside..

Her family member consoled her and told her to let all the jubilation calm down that they would take action afterwards.

Am seriously getting my eyes peeled to see what the lady family would do. The whole place looks calm and silent but I don't trust what is goint to happen to be same.

Fellow nairalanders ,in your own opinion, do you thoink the lady should leave the house while her family members carryout whatever action they intend to carry out. The lady said she is just confused and more devasted, as she doesnt want To attack a nursing mother, because she herself doesn't have a child yet, and would not want to cause a scene in the compound. But her brother s and sister are brewing up with whatever action they are planning. Please be rational in your comments/ advice and suggestions.

blogAlive:
Fellow nairalanders, yesterday was friday. The proposed Naming ceremony of the mistress baby boy. Contrary to all expectation of violence and physical commotion, a "silence disaster happend.

As expected the husband got back from jos where he had training organised by his company for senior staff members.
According to the lady, who was crying as she narrated what happend, her husband bought her some expensive clothing and jeweries, foodstuffs and a lot of fruits,looking surprised as she received the gifts, her husband told her to prepare a nice meal for them to eat. While this was going on, there were strange people trooping in to the house,looking cheerful and congratulating everyone they saw. She couldn't say much as her husband who just came back bought things for her and ask her to prepare meal.

At about 2pm after they had eating and in the midst of people still trooping in and the family of the mistress welcoming and serving guest, her husband went up to her and cheerful asked for divorce, that he no longer wishes to marry her and be with her, and that the gifts he bought for her was his parting way of saying it was over.

Coincindentally as this was going on inside, the mistress and the child arrived and there was jubilation all around that the legal wife didn't know what to say, she just broke down in tears and went to meet her family member to tell what had just happened inside..

Her family member consoled her and told her to let all the jubilation calm down that they would take action afterwards.

Am seriously getting my eyes peeled to see what the lady family would do. The whole place looks calm and silent but I don't trust what is goint to happen to be same.

Fellow nairalanders ,in your own opinion, do you thoink the lady should leave the house while her family members carryout whatever action they intend to carry out. The lady said she is just confused and more devasted, as she doesnt want To attack a nursing mother, because she herself doesn't have a child yet, and would not want to cause a scene in the compound. But her brother s and sister are brewing up with whatever action they are planning. Please be rational in your comments/ advice and suggestions.

Send in your kind advice ,nairalanders. Thanks and save the situation.

Another thread for low-self esteem women who want to force men that don't love them to love them.
What do you want us to do for you? Open his chest and force his heart to fall in love with you?
You think if you were the one who brought your lover home under the guise of being a relative, he will be running around looking for a way to stay married to you?

Wonder why most of you don't have single self respect. Legal wife indeed.
All his relatives are on her side and you don't want to respect yourself and move on.

I understand heartbreak. I understand the feeling like you want to make him pay for hurting you. I understand even denial sometimes.
What I don't understand is the willingness to accept disrespect. This man has given you the utmost disrespect possible and you're still not sure of what to do about the marriage. Why would you still want to be married to him?

cococandy:
Another thread for low-self esteem women who want to force men that don't love them to love them.
What do you want us to do for you? Open his chest and force his heart to fall in love with you?
You think if you were the one who brought your lover home under the guise of being a relative, he will be running around looking for a way to stay married to you?

Wonder why most of you don't have single self respect. Legal wife indeed.
All his relatives are on her side and you don't want to respect yourself and move on.

I understand heartbreak. I understand the feeling like you want to make him pay for hurting you. I understand even denial sometimes.
What I don't understand is the willingness to accept disrespect. This man has given you the utmost disrespect possible and you're still not sure of what to do about the marriage. Why would you still want to be married to him?

I had same opinion, but she said she loved him and had put a lot into the marriage. Is there still a away to savage this situation and let justice prevail, jungle justice is starring at the corner, waiting to be unleashed o.

blogAlive:


I had same opinion, but she said she loved him and had put a lot into the marriage. Is there still a away to savage this situation and let justice prevail, jungle justice is starring at the corner, waiting to be unleashed o.

Well she can't force him to stay married to her.
Or else she risks her life living in the same house as those who have been plotting against her with a straight face. There are so many of them in on the plot. They had already planned this a long time ago because she doesn't have a child for him yet. She should know this by now.


What kind of jungle justice? If she loves him, why is she planning jungle justice for him?

cococandy:


Well she can't force him to stay married to her.
Or else she risks her life living in the same house as those who have been plotting against her with a straight face. There are so many of them in on the plot. They had already planned this a long time ago because she doesn't have a child for him yet. She should know this by now.


What kind of jungle justice? If she loves him, why is she planning jungle justice for him?

Am suspecting her familly members to do something drastic. They have been saying all kinds of threat during they day!

... Should I even report the case to the police as a case of anticipated assult?

The lady just text me tht she is living the house again tomorrow, but her family members says she should not go anywhere.

Nairalanders, is this right, is there something she should do instead?

blogAlive:



Am suspecting her familly members to do something drastic. They have been saying all kinds of threat during they day!

... Should I even report the case to the police as a case of anticipated assult?

The lady just text me tht she is living the house again tomorrow, but her family members says she should not go anywhere.

Nairalanders, is this right, is there something she should do instead?

Nairalanders!!!

fight a mistress? not in this life

when they say fight for your marriage, it is in sickness, in health,in poverty, extended family interferrence and bla bla bla not in cheating,mistress pregnancy and more cheating.

if you say fight the husband,break his two legs,dump in the hospital, ehn ehn makes more sense except I am not cray cray.

oh!the disrespect in having to fight a mistress, shame.

Na wa ooo

Its never easy for a woman TTC.

Its not fair at all, the man didn't try sha.

It seems she doesn't mind a polygamous setting but now the hubby has said she should go I don't think she has any choice except he changes his mind ( which is being influenced by his family and mistress their eyes will soon clear its a matter of time) and even at that will she be able to cope with the tauntings and insults.

If she wants to stay by hook or by crook and can cope with all I stated above, She should try to get him to change his mind, Ignore all what the mistress and family , Hubby's family says or do to her and continue living her life which I think is very difficult.

I have seen situations like that, where the hubby brought another wifey paid the bride price even had children after some years the same way she came by the window is the same way she left they returned her bride price to her people. Messy situations with a whole lot of drama, fighting and bickering for about 7-8 years and not every one is cut out for that kind of life. One of the situations the wifey got preggy after many yearsof having the first when the hubby that had not even slept with her for a long time decided to just "secretly do the thing one afternoon" and that was it she became preggy.

If she doesn't want to leave she should strong hearted to face such situations and she should be sure there's no threat to her life physically or spiritually and ignore the mistress totally and under no circumstances should she let the lady provoke her.

They have planned it for a long time and I even believe part of the conditions the mistress and family laid down is that the first wife must go. There is a child now so I believe all of them are now happy so they can let her be if she still wants to stay.

Polygamous setting is not it at all, very terrible IMO.


Parting gifts indeed.

yetseyi:
Na wa ooo

Its never easy for a woman TTC.

Its not fair at all, the man didn't try sha.

It seems she doesn't mind a polygamous setting but now the hubby has said she should go I don't think she has any choice except he changes his mind ( which is being influenced by his family and mistress their eyes will soon clear its a matter of time) and even at that will she be able to cope with the tauntings and insults.

If she wants to stay by hook or by crook and can cope with all I stated above, She should try to get him to change his mind, Ignore all what the mistress and family , Hubby's family says or do to her and continue living her life which I think is very difficult.

I have seen situations like that, where the hubby brought another wifey paid the bride price even had children after some years the same way she came by the window is the same way she left they returned her bride price to her people. Messy situations with a whole lot of drama, fighting and bickering for about 7-8 years and not every one is cut out for that kind of life. One of the situations the wifey got preggy after many yearsof having the first when the hubby that had not even slept with her for a long time decided to just "secretly do the thing one afternoon" and that was it she became preggy.

If she doesn't want to leave she should strong hearted to face such situations and she should be sure there's no threat to her life physically or spiritually and ignore the mistress totally and under no circumstances should she let the lady provoke her.

They have planned it for a long time and I even believe part of the conditions the mistress and family laid down is that the first wife must go. There is a child now so I believe all of them are now happy so they can let her be if she still wants to stay.

Polygamous setting is not it at all, very terrible IMO.


Parting gifts indeed.

Nairalanders,
The lady has decided to leave the house, saying that she can't stand the sight of the mistress and her husband together in the house with the her family members and all the nonsense they will be doing just to slight her.

She went to her family members staying with her and seriously begged them not to cause any trouble that she has decided to leave for good, and see what becomes of the husband and her mistress.

She moved out of the house today.

Guys do you thing she has done the right thing?
Kindly react please, as I felt very bad. Is life really like this?

I'm not married but I'll just leave my opinion.
Aunty mi, you have tried. I am not sure I can endure the kinda Shame, disgrace, embarrassment you have endured.
Please, for your own sanity, leave the house because depression is really knocking and believe me, you don't want to end up in a psychiatric hospital over a man. You see this fighting for your marriage ish, in this case, it's not worth it. A man you pledged to love and who did same for you, conceived in his heart and carried out a deed as heartbreaking as this, and most probably having sexual relations with this woman under your nose and roof, and you lived in foolery. Tell me, assuming you decide to stay and keep "fighting" for your marriage, can you withstand knowing and hearing your husband make love with another woman, just a wall away? And can the anger you feel ever let him touch you if he wants to?
He asked for a divorce, give him the divorce. if I were the one, I'm sure it would have been my idea first.
Karma is a bi**h. And God is watching. Cry your eyes out, scream etc, but believe me, you'll heal. it'll only take time.
The right thing is not allowing your people do anything rash, but if I were the one, I don't care what they do.
Forget that you'll be labelled a divorcee, it does not define you.
Funke Akindele, Monalisa Chinda etc, they are the popular ones, coupled with tons of women who everyone thought messed up the first time in their marriages, but they are living the life now, filled with so much love that it radiates to just about everyone they come across.
Be strong, ma. You'll be fine. You'll rise again.

Chikabel:
I'm not married but I'll just leave my opinion.
Aunty mi, you have tried. I am not sure I can endure the kinda Shame, disgrace, embarrassment you have endured.
Please, for your own sanity, leave the house because depression is really knocking and believe me, you don't want to end up in a psychiatric hospital over a man. You see this fighting for your marriage ish, in this case, it's not worth it. A man you pledged to love and who did same for you, conceived in his heart and carried out a deed as heartbreaking as this, and most probably having sexual relations with this woman under your nose and roof, and you lived in foolery. Tell me, assuming you decide to stay and keep "fighting" for your marriage, can you withstand knowing and hearing your husband make love with another woman, just a wall away? And can the anger you feel ever let him touch you if he wants to?
He asked for a divorce, give him the divorce. if I were the one, I'm sure it would have been my idea first.
Karma is a bi**h. And God is watching. Cry your eyes out, scream etc, but believe me, you'll heal. it'll only take time.
The right thing is not allowing your people do anything rash, but if I were the one, I don't care what they do.
Forget that you'll be labelled a divorcee, it does not define you.
Funke Akindele, Monalisa Chinda etc, they are the popular ones, coupled with tons of women who everyone thought messed up the first time in their marriages, but they are living the life now, filled with so much love that it radiates to just about everyone they come across.
Be strong, ma. You'll be fine. You'll rise again.

Thank you, your kind words are appreciated, I didn't even know she has read it, until she called to tell me.

Nairalanders you are truely a family, pls keep your comments and advice coming in and let's try to give life back to this lady.

blogAlive:


Nairalanders,
The lady has decided to leave the house, saying that she can't stand the sight of the mistress and her husband together in the house with the her family members and all the nonsense they will be doing just to slight her.

She went to her family members staying with her and seriously begged them not to cause any trouble that she has decided to leave for good, and see what becomes of the husband and her mistress.

She moved out of the house today.

Guys do you thing she has done the right thing?
Kindly react please, as I felt very bad. Is life really like this?

Well life can be like that .

I guess for her sanity and safety (I don't trust the mistress and her family, some people do go to extreme levels to chase the wifey) its better for now.

Its painful sha.

yetseyi:


Well life can be like that .

I guess for her sanity and safety (I don't trust the mistress and her family, some people do go to extreme levels to chase the wifey) its better for now.

Its painful sha.

Positive suggestions,pls, for the lady as she begin a new journey of life. Hw does she get comfort and solace to get out of this mess and begin anew?

Nairalanders let's talk to her now!

blogAlive:


Positive suggestions,pls, for the lady as she begin a new journey of life. Hw does she get comfort and solace to get out of this mess and begin anew?

Nairalanders let's talk to her now!

She is indeed not alone if we say something everyday day and stand by her. I hear her family is beginning to wash their hands off, becos she didn't allow them to fight back.

egopersonified:
While in school, I once visited my cousin, the guy asked me to show his wife my school ID card to prove to her that we had the same surname.

Didn't blame her, the guy is something else