Why Should A Woman Accept Adultery From Her Husband And Vice Versa? - Family - Nairaland
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| Why Should A Woman Accept Adultery From Her Husband And Vice Versa? by maclatunji: 6:51pm On Jan 05, 2012 |
Someone is talking opposite me right now about how a woman should accept her husband's infidelity. So, I am asking: are there any reasons you would accept such? God forbid that I should accept such! |
| Re: Why Should A Woman Accept Adultery From Her Husband And Vice Versa? by ronkebp(f): 7:27pm On Jan 05, 2012 |
No woman or man should accept ''infidelity'' from his or her spouse. Forgiveness is a different issue. |
| Re: Why Should A Woman Accept Adultery From Her Husband And Vice Versa? by Nobody: 7:45pm On Jan 05, 2012 |
| Re: Why Should A Woman Accept Adultery From Her Husband And Vice Versa? by ifyalways(f): 8:00pm On Jan 05, 2012 |
I have ideas: They saw their daddies cheat under their mom's noses consistently.Their moms accepted that,drummed it into their ears and brains that men would always cheat and women are meant to take it in good faith. . .so long he pays the bills and comes home each day(or forthnightly) They dated and married unrepentant cheats.He never hid it,the woman is just desperate to marry. The woman is a parasite and huge liability.she brings in nothing,depends solely on the man for any and every thing.She's stuck in there and would gladly accept/endure,warts and all. . .so long as he keeps providing for her(and kids). The preacher tells the woman that divorce or seperation is a capital sin.Your man cheats cos you don't pray enough,you don't make the house homely enough for him,you nag and you don't listen when he talks.Stay there,pray harder,bind the spirit of the flesh and lust and someday oneday,God would touch his heart to change. |
| Re: Why Should A Woman Accept Adultery From Her Husband And Vice Versa? by Fhemmmy: 8:01pm On Jan 05, 2012 |
^^^ Well said. But seems like the time is almost here when a woman will beg the man to marry her cos the ratio of man to woman would be 1:4 . . isn't that scary? |
| Re: Why Should A Woman Accept Adultery From Her Husband And Vice Versa? by Nobody: 8:06pm On Jan 05, 2012 |
| Re: Why Should A Woman Accept Adultery From Her Husband And Vice Versa? by Fhemmmy: 8:18pm On Jan 05, 2012 |
chaircover: Haaaaaaaaaa . . . Not me oh. God will forgive you, we talking of the future  |
| Re: Why Should A Woman Accept Adultery From Her Husband And Vice Versa? by ifyalways(f): 8:39pm On Jan 05, 2012 |
chaircover:ROFL 4 offline,8 online. Don't i wanna be a man? |
| Re: Why Should A Woman Accept Adultery From Her Husband And Vice Versa? by Fhemmmy: 8:51pm On Jan 05, 2012 |
^^^ God will forgive you all oh . . . I beg oh, i am a saint and no spoil me for my better half oh |
| Re: Why Should A Woman Accept Adultery From Her Husband And Vice Versa? by Outstrip(f): 10:26pm On Jan 05, 2012 |
What CC and ifyalways said |
| Re: Why Should A Woman Accept Adultery From Her Husband And Vice Versa? by moremi2008(m): 3:38am On Jan 06, 2012 |
Cultures that practice polygamy condone male infidelity because men in such cultures are expected to have multiple female partners. Cultures that practice polygamy also tend to be very patriarchal and misogynist. In such cultures, women are expected to be dependent on their fathers, brothers or husbands for sustenance and are thus deprived of agency and power in marital situations. It doesn't help matters that a woman would rather share her man than be cast out into the streets with her children, penniless. Most Nigerian cultures are like this, unfortunately. |
| Re: Why Should A Woman Accept Adultery From Her Husband And Vice Versa? by dayokanu(m): 6:50am On Jan 06, 2012 |
ifyalways: This is what makes most Naija women accept infidelity. I have always said it that the best way to enslave anyone is to make them dependent on you 100% and any woman who accepts to be a housewife in this day and age has just sold herself short Do you know how many women turn a blind eye on obvious adultery jus because they dont want to lose their meal tickets? They would be like, If I leave him because of adultery, who would take care of me. Why would a full bodied adult depend on another human to take care of him or her? Any human who takes care of you reserves the right to do as he/she pleases |
| Re: Why Should A Woman Accept Adultery From Her Husband And Vice Versa? by freecocoa(f): 8:20am On Jan 06, 2012 |
Infidelity is unacceptable and shouldn't be condoned but I guess ify has said it all. @DK please anyone who takes care of "you"in what regard are we talking here? Cos I'm kinda wondering now. |
| Re: Why Should A Woman Accept Adultery From Her Husband And Vice Versa? by dayokanu(m): 8:37am On Jan 06, 2012 |
Takes care of you financially I mean mostly Because if I feed and pay your bill 100% most likely you cant question me. even if my girlfriends are calling or visiting me you wont have the guts to challenge because it might have huge effect on you if you are not financially independent |
| Re: Why Should A Woman Accept Adultery From Her Husband And Vice Versa? by freecocoa(f): 9:14am On Jan 06, 2012 |
^ Ah okay o,I been fear sha cos it sounded like a general statement,but e be like say you go wicked small o. |
| Re: Why Should A Woman Accept Adultery From Her Husband And Vice Versa? by Nobody: 10:11am On Jan 06, 2012 |
Because she is stoopid, desperate, silly, dumb, cheap, worthless, mentally deranged, . . . . . Do I need to continue? |
| Re: Why Should A Woman Accept Adultery From Her Husband And Vice Versa? by freecocoa(f): 12:45pm On Jan 06, 2012 |
^ Aunty biko a continue na,ozugo.  |
| Re: Why Should A Woman Accept Adultery From Her Husband And Vice Versa? by agiboma(f): 3:08pm On Jan 06, 2012 |
I wont speak for women but ill speak to my reason's for staying in a marriage with a partner that is a serial cheater, i would not even call it cheating anymore because i just accept it to keep the peace. For me my child is the reason why i stay period. Furthermore i have never been in a relationship where my partner has been 100% faithful i am not sure such a thing exist. Leaving him to find better or g-d forbid i find worst omg. I have not made up my mind to take that chance. |
| Re: Why Should A Woman Accept Adultery From Her Husband And Vice Versa? by coogar: 3:47pm On Jan 06, 2012 |
dayokanu: it's far deeper than what you have stated above. there are plenty of women richer than their husbands and still accept infidelity from their husband. the simple truth is women want to stay in their marriage. in a society like nigeria, women in marriage command more respect than single mothers so most of them would endure any hardship in marriage than going for a divorce. |
| Re: Why Should A Woman Accept Adultery From Her Husband And Vice Versa? by ronkebp(f): 4:05pm On Jan 06, 2012 |
coogar:True very true. unless they realise that it is better to be alone than to be with a man that would not respect them. |
| Re: Why Should A Woman Accept Adultery From Her Husband And Vice Versa? by OAM4J: 4:14pm On Jan 06, 2012 |
ifyalways: Yeah you are right. coogar: Very true, especially when children are also involved. |
| Re: Why Should A Woman Accept Adultery From Her Husband And Vice Versa? by ShyOne(f): 4:42pm On Jan 06, 2012 |
Ify, Chair and Coogar - I agree completely Personally, I would be devastated and SICKENED knowing that my mate is cheating. I would just beg for deliverance from the situation. Take it away from me - him and them. I just cannot stomach being in the same space, bed, home, room, marriage with someone who would humiliate me to that level. I could care less how anyone saw me, I know what I would see looking in my own mirror, staring back at me. It is a feeling of worthlessness that I would succumb to, knowing that I would have to share someone who took my hand in marriage in front of a community and now I have to share him with different members of the same community. I have to be able to stomach and live with myself before I could live with him or wonder how the neighbors feel about me. I can recover from a divorce. I couldn't recover from infinite self-hatred and vile/bitterness I would shoulder every time I looked around every nook and cranny of the home I had to clean, sleep in, etc, having to share it with a cheater. Who has cheated me out of my shoes, my house, my marriage, my sanctity-peace, my everything and given it over to another woman. Those would be the thoughts I would occupy as I watched him preparing for work every morning , watching me with his fake smile and talking to me with his empty words, as I watch that Judas preening and posturing in our mirror. In his mind I am just there to assist him in a world of "his making." |
| Re: Why Should A Woman Accept Adultery From Her Husband And Vice Versa? by OgaMadam(f): 5:12pm On Jan 06, 2012 |
And thats the bottom line. Self Worth. and The example you set for the kids. in this day of HIV Aids - why? I dont know, i geuss you get what you settle for. So you must lie in the bed you make. For me, i know what my standards are. I'd rather be a single mother woman with dignity that married to a serial cheat. Why die of a heart attack over a flimsy human being. Case closed. |
| Re: Why Should A Woman Accept Adultery From Her Husband And Vice Versa? by dayokanu(m): 5:36pm On Jan 06, 2012 |
^^ Regardless of the self worth, When someone holds your meal ticket you would in most cases take BS from them Human beings regardless of the self worth would take crap from someone who "feeds" you Cases of marital abuse are more prevalent in societies where the women are economically incapacitated Think Arabs, think Northen Nigeria think Africa |
| Re: Why Should A Woman Accept Adultery From Her Husband And Vice Versa? by dayokanu(m): 5:40pm On Jan 06, 2012 |
coogar: Who is more likely to stay with a cheating spouse, a richer woman or a dependent wife? The richer wife would only stay if she wants to. but the dependent one, by the time she thinks of what to eat tomorrow, she would just overlook it. I am not saying the societal outlook to it is not a factor but look at societies where women are made dependent and see the abuse going on there. Look at other African countries and especially Arab nations and see what the women go through there. |
| Re: Why Should A Woman Accept Adultery From Her Husband And Vice Versa? by chika98: 6:39pm On Jan 06, 2012 |
dayokanu: Most women in Nigeria! Even then that's overly and grossly exaggerated. Let's not forget that marital status in Nigeria is pretty much everything. Although the westernization going on there has upped the divorce rates and such but still. For a greater majority, being married and staying married is of the utter most importance. Society frowns upon the idea of single parents etc so women there "tend" to stay and accept behaviors in marriage. I highly doubt that women in our(you and I) generation who has come to this country; educated here with a good job and got something good going for them will now come and chill while some dude is out there sleeping with anything/ everyone? Seriously does that even make sense to you? Because dem wan save face? Most Nigerian chics I know are very much independent. They aren't waiting for some dude to come and take care of them. Obviously there are exceptions to this of course. Basically this isn't limited to anyone really. Your life is what you wanna make of it. |
| Re: Why Should A Woman Accept Adultery From Her Husband And Vice Versa? by dayokanu(m): 6:46pm On Jan 06, 2012 |
chika98: Dont you think with the statement in bold you are agreeing with me? Lemme ask if you are independent and can take care of yourself would you take such treatment from any man in the name of marriage? Maybe some would but not the majority |
| Re: Why Should A Woman Accept Adultery From Her Husband And Vice Versa? by chika98: 7:09pm On Jan 06, 2012 |
dayokanu: No one would and shouldn't really but mostly we can't blame some of the women who take it because the society hasn't made it easy either. I think the original poster is on about women who should know better but don't. Oh well to each its. . . |
| Re: Why Should A Woman Accept Adultery From Her Husband And Vice Versa? by ronkebp(f): 7:14pm On Jan 06, 2012 |
It all also boils down to family orientations, the legacy that has been laid down, me personally, even if my hubby is ''spoon feeding'' me and wants to shove the food down my throat forcefully, i will still pour that food on his head. Just because you are 100% taking care of my needs, does not make me a slave, No niggar can try that poo with me oooo. |
| Re: Why Should A Woman Accept Adultery From Her Husband And Vice Versa? by dayokanu(m): 7:55pm On Jan 06, 2012 |
Ronke its easy for you to say because you are not in that shoe. How many times have you seen women whose husband are cheating but cant walk out or talk because they would say what do you want me to eat? When you hold the key to someones "belly" you can do and undo without being challenged. I know a guy, Whose wife is an housewife, the slightest argument, he changes the pin on the ATM and the woman would still have to come beg him. I was with him one day that the wife was caliing him for $100 in the joint account to go see movies with her girlfriends and if you see the questioning on top ordinary $100. I just dey shake my head. BTW this wife is Akata not Naija whom we say want to stay married at all cost |
| Re: Why Should A Woman Accept Adultery From Her Husband And Vice Versa? by ronkebp(f): 8:11pm On Jan 06, 2012 |
^^^^^^ Chei!!!!! see suffer-head, (Shaking head). And that was why i personalised it, i said if it were me, i will be oga ontop that person money oooo. With the person and his money, i will gbas!!! both of them, i work or do not work. it is just my person, i do not take bullying lightly in any form, especially if i am at the receiving end. I really get your drift, for some, it is better to bring home your own bacon and be your own boss. True, but anybody that can accept infidelity because the hubby is the sole provider, would accept it anyhow and in which ever way. So need not complain, accept it and sit still in that marraige with lips sealed. |
| Re: Why Should A Woman Accept Adultery From Her Husband And Vice Versa? by dayokanu(m): 8:18pm On Jan 06, 2012 |
Ok Ronke now lets put yourself in their shoes In Nigeria , your hubby was cheating, you caught him red handed not hearsay, but he is sole provider for you. What would you do knowing 1. You dont have any income/money to sustain yourself for even 1 week 2. No law would back you to get child support or alimony You would go out tell your friends, who would sympathize with you even join you to cuss the man but who cant assist you in anyway I believe 90% of women in the world(including Nigeria) wouldnt want to have a cheating husband, wont even want Polygamy regardless of the religion but some situations make them overlook |
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