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Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? - Culture (7) - Nairaland

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Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by Pharoh: 9:34pm On Dec 10, 2009
Mrs Rosabelle . . . You are welcome and i should say here that i learn a lot from you here on nairaland as a rebel. You have said it all in your last post and i hope every party gets along now. I am off to bed friend in this silly cold place, Hope in the future we could be good friends offline. More grease to your elbow in your efforts where you are in Swiss and hope to see you here again someday. smiley

Everyone good nite ooo smiley
Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by Theblessed(f): 1:16am On Dec 11, 2009
phammyus:

This issue boils down to inferiority complex which in extreme cases it can manifest itself in either withdrawn or aggressive social behavior. I think a reasonably well doing man will not bother on that, the father owns his child and if his daughter wants to retain his name fine. If your name is good to be associated with it will be retained till eternity, e.g Obafemi Awolowo who everyone knows to be an hero, every man that marries up his daughter will be proud to say her father is Awolowo. So why can she use the name if she wishes, all you men have to do is build your name to be reputable in the society.

God bless you for your intelligent and logical reasoning, in this matter! Only, a man that lacks confidence in himself worry about these things.  Based on their own hard work, why can't they build their own good reputations (not 419, not money launderer, not paid assassin, not a kiddnapper and certainly not a terrorist etc could earn them the recognition they crave.) instead of complaining and moaning their lazy a-ses off, on here.  Abi, no be the owner of the cow na im get the pikin?  So, why worry about names

If they want recognition then, they should work on it!!!  We will answer our family names, the way we want afterall, it's our birth rights and because, we can! So much of your intimidations and control over women therefore, eat your hearts off, those of you! angry angry angry
Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by lovemoi2(f): 3:42am On Dec 11, 2009
^^^^^
what da hell, if you are going to write a long essay why make make the font bold and big

it is disturbing
Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by vanitty: 4:35am On Dec 11, 2009
Rosabelle:


Sorry madame. You might be the one in need of that little lesson. You cant be "fussed" to change a name. You can however make a "fuss" about changing a name. Neither applies to the nigerian woman changing her name after marriage.And I maintain, other nationalities DO BOTHER about the women changing their names. They "fuss" about it a lot.


English da iwo baby yii lamu shaundecided,

let me give you examples
"Dalai Lama not fussed to meet Howard"
"This weekend 16 million lawns will be fussed, fed and fretted over "
You see how they made use of the word "fussed "

Many many more on google and i gave you a link to dictionary as well and you still can't grasp what i am saying

Don't dumb yourself down just to prove a point shotigbo.
I repeat read my first post again then maybe, maybe  you will understand.

Rosabelle:


So please dont talk about stuff you dont know. I dont care where you come from, but you need to have been to all corners of nigeria before running off at the mouth about what nigerian women are "fussed" to do or what we "fuss" about or not!


Nigeria woman, pele o undecided, it is a good thing we have someone like you always fighting our battles , only wish our self-appointed fighter has some manners
Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by Rosabelle(f): 9:56am On Dec 11, 2009
vanitty:

English da iwo baby yii lamu shaundecided,
let me give you examples
"Dalai Lama not fussed to meet Howard"
"This weekend 16 million lawns will be fussed, fed and fretted over "
You see how they made use of the word "fussed "
Many many more on google and i gave you a link to dictionary as well and you still can't grasp what i am saying
Don't dumb yourself down just to prove a point shotigbo.
I repeat read my first post again then maybe, maybe you will understand.
Nigeria woman, pele o undecided, it is a good thing we have someone like you always fighting our battles , only wish our self-appointed fighter has some manners
Oh please. Your google examples dont exhonorate your rubbish talk. Youre ignorant if you think nigerian women are among the "few" who are "fussed" to change their names. Silly examples that have nothign to do with your rubbish talk. After all the silly practice comes from christianity and christianity doesnt belong to the african. So Mrs "Im probably a nigerian", check your facts before you talk!
Im not fighting any battles for anyone. Just stop talking trash. Simple!
Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by vanitty: 2:00pm On Dec 11, 2009
Rather than admit you were talking gibberish my dear, you are talking more gibberish undecided. . .Can't make head or tail of the gibberish you just wrote, on the plus side at least now you agree there is word *fussed*
Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by Rosabelle(f): 8:13pm On Dec 11, 2009
Go for that english class madame, and then come back ok
Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by mamagee3(f): 10:55pm On Dec 12, 2009
They are meant to put their father's name first
Before putting their adopted name
. cool
Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by typical: 1:18pm On Dec 13, 2009
Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage?

baseless generalisation

There are millions of women in Nigeria and only a handful of them do this. This is a misleading topic, probably invented to try and get more women to think along those lines.
Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by bebrief(m): 4:24pm On Dec 17, 2009
Firstly, I want to congratulate all the proud Nigerian ladies/women in this forum. No Nigerian or African lady is inferior to anyone. Be you an American, Arabian, European, Australian, Indian, Chinese, Russian lady, Nigerian women are proud to bear their husband's name. They neither 'fuss' about it or are been 'forced' to do so. Good Nigerian men respect and love their wives, who have no problem bearing his name. It's our identity and we're proud of it.

Secondly, for the ladies who think a man needs her wife to bear his name for his lack of confidence or the likes of those comments, I think you should examine your thinking faculties. That logic makes no sense. If you are married to a man of low esteem and you think you are of a high esteem. Then, your suggestion is that you go your way and he go his own way. Why not remain single then if you feel he's not man enough. If you bear his name, does it add anything to him? If he has not built a reputation, are you not to do that with him as his wife? Your father's name belongs to your mother and not to you.

Ok. Your father has a reputation and your husband has none. Your mother stood by your father, bore his name and together they made a reputation. But you're not ready for that. You prefer to hang on to your father's name, cos you know your husband can never be as successful as he is. What an insult on the man who paid your bride-prize.

You see, it's very easy to tell who's not minding his business than who is. There are topical issues that requires a collective redress. Like the climate change. Whose business is it? If you have nothing to contribute to society, then go to sleep!!! And for those who think this is an over-generalization. It is not. There is a wave, you don't wait till it consumes you before you act. And the only way to equip the young minds against such ills is to tell the truth, not by hiding the facts.
Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by bebrief(m): 4:31pm On Dec 17, 2009
Rosabelle:

You sound like a fool. Cos most places in the world women DO change their names. Nigerian women are not forced, they get married and change their names. So stop talking trash. angry
Well your reply sounds like you didnt even READ the post in the first place. If youre not a nigerian woman and if your fathers name is second, then why on earth are you replying to the post? undecided

Apart from the first statement, your comment is excellent.
Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by Madukaele(m): 6:47pm On Dec 22, 2009
how can i open a subject. Like the one above (why do, )? i need help.
Messi worldbest.for more info.breakingnewsgb.blogspot.com

Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by bebrief(m): 11:01pm On Dec 22, 2009
Madukaele:

how can i open a subject. Like the one above (why do, )? i need help.
Messi worldbest.for more info.breakingnewsgb.blogspot.com

Off point
Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by Nobody: 3:24pm On Mar 16, 2010
reasons-if d woman was from an influential family b4 she got married,she prolly wount want 2 change her maiden name,however she'll attach it with her husbands surname so dat people will still reckon with her n doors will be opened compared 2 if she left her maiden name (which people might not really know)
reason 2- if her name was in important documents like cheque book,certificates,bank account name n official letters dropping of maiden name will be cumbersome n stressful e.g going 2 dis office n dat office,signing here n there,filling of oe form 2 another
reason 3-if d woman is a public figure e.g writer,actress or presenter changing her maiden name will be difficult because she has made a brand name 4 her self e.g joke sylvia (nollywood actress who's married 2 olu jacobs) or stella aboderin damascus (who added her maiden name 2 her husbands name,omotola jolade ekeinde etc,so it has nabsolutely nothing 2 do with submission.at least i know of some women who come from influential families n chose 2 drop their maiden names because dey obeyed their husband in d early period of marriage but are so arrogant n rude 2 their husbands.in essence.dropping or not dropping ur name has nothing 2 do with a woman totally leaving her biological family.me 4 instance cant drop my name i can only add my husbands name cos i'm d only issue of my parents if i decide 2 drop it dat lineage or family name will die a silent death so myself n my kids will bear my maiden name.my husband has already agreed 2 dat e.g my name is kikelomo,surname- babalola husbands surname jonah so i decided 2 shorten it to kikelomo babs jonah but people fondly call me KBJ. my 1st kids name is tosin babs jonah or TBJ.dats how far i want my maiden name 2 go.
Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by Patsey: 2:31pm On Jun 27, 2011
so that when the marriage collapses, the woman could simply take off her husband's name and revert to her original surname. she can of course do for every marriage she enters and comes out of. cool
Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by sasimalia(f): 5:03pm On Jun 27, 2011
Changing or not your name to your husband's depends on several factors. But what is sure today is that we (africans) have diluted some of our culture with western concepts. Back in the days at least many african cultures women kept their fathers name even though they were identified "wife of X". And this had nothing to do with inferiority/superiority complex or not untying the knot with her family. My mother and (all her sisters) kept the same name on the official documents that she had before she got married, but was known, called and referred to as "Mrs X". Only a few years ago did she had my father's name to hers because she was getting a new passport and it was easier that way, administrative-wise. I know many other women from many other different places in Africa who do the same thing: only Add their husband surnames to theirs. So I'm not sure how it is specifically for nigerian women.
I am getting married soon I am just adding my husband's name to mine (my current family name will become my middle name). I feel that I still need to be able to be traced back to my ancestors for 1 even though I "merging" with another lineage, and also I have a tone official documents/records that would need changed. It's easier if it's all traceable (especially those of us living in the West where having your name spelled right is already a challenge, imagine changing/adding to it).
Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by ATLgal(f): 3:18am On Oct 24, 2011
You are a dumb person, English is imported. changing name after marriage is imported and was NEVER our culture, so when u talk about self serving that's then think about you. the whole name changing started when women were viewed as property. is your mother property? onyi oshi,
if a woman chooses NOT to change her name I applaud her loudly, I hope one day the whole thing goes out of style. if i must take ur name in other to marry you, go to ur village and pick a girl that doesn't know how to write. I do not need a master.


undecided[quote][/quote]

beknown (m)
London, UK
Posts: 422

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Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage?
« #32 on: November 17, 2009, 01:45 PM »
People should begin to face the reality of today.

Women who choose to adopt their father's name rather than their husband's name after marriage are not really ready for a true marriage for life.

The modern day ideas has some advantages and disadvantages. Let us adopt the good ideas of our past too because they could be the best.

The reason why a wife should answer her father's name after marriage centres on selfishness, except her husband fully agrees.

Hyphenation of surnames after marriage is a western concept, not African and definitely not Nigerian. Let us be careful what we import into Nigeria. It is not all western concept and idealogy that are good, some are terrible, selfish, self-centred and self-serving.
Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by ATLgal(f): 3:22am On Oct 24, 2011
can I ever stop being my father's child? No . can I stop being a man's wife?
and there's actually a group in Africa where the husband adopts the wife's name after marriage.
Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by tevinsolt: 8:07am On Jan 06, 2012
if a guy is man enough to ask you to marry him he his telling you to be part of his family isn't? and i can see some of u are talking about equality and why can't men take the wife's name, umm maybe if you start proposing then we can take it from there and hey stop being silly with that equality poo know when to apply it ok dumbolina? tongue cool
Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by Ybutterfly: 5:20pm On Jun 09, 2012
^^^^^^^^^^
Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by Obiagu1(m): 6:50pm On Jun 09, 2012
When a woman "marries" a man, she keeps her maiden name but when a man marries a woman, she does the right thing by dropping her maiden name for her husband's name. cool
Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by tpia5: 6:54pm On Jun 09, 2012
all you men have to do is build your name to be reputable in the society

thank you.

its usually the deadbeats who congregate on this sort of topic and carry other people's matter on their head like the jobless goats they are.

empty vessels are known for making the loudest noise.

later they blame the witches in their village for their lack of progress in life.

what part of stick (limit) your addendeum/agenda/eccentricities/misery/longerthroat/low self esteem/insecurities to your girlfriend/s and/or wife/wives is too hard for you to grasp?
Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by Obiagu1(m): 7:08pm On Jun 09, 2012
^^^

Wow! so much anger . . .
Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by tpia5: 9:14pm On Jun 09, 2012
dont think I mentioned anybody's name sha, but if the shoe fits, wear it.
Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by TeetoEsq(m): 7:01pm On Dec 12, 2013
its a mark of honour for a woman to keep bearing his father's name because most successful women attribute their success to their parents hence the need to bear their names even after marriage. Their husbands are just inheriting the success set by the ladies parents....

1 Like

Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name, After Marriage? by tpia5: 7:39pm On Dec 12, 2013
my point is its nobody's business unless you're a scammer up to your usual tricks.

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