Forget the recession - here are my tips on how to have a truly good Christmas...

Experience has led me to recognize that, by and large, Christmas wouldn't exist if it were not for women. Not only would there have been no Nativity tale, but following on from Mary's lead role in that particular drama, women have taken it upon themselves to propagate the whole Christmas palaver.
In how many houses the men responsible for ensuring there's enough wrapping paper? Who buys the Christmas decorations and dragoons everyone into hanging them? Who organizes the food over the Christmas season and obsesses over whether it should be Christmas jollof again this year and who - more than anything else - spends days thinking about Christmas shopping?
And yet, despite the monumental effort that goes into Christmas, the thought of packing up and decanting to some hotel in a hot climate, where I wouldn't have to do anything other than consider which sun protection factor to use that day fills me with utter bleakness.
But here are some tiops that can make your Christmas splendid even with the induced recession that has hit town.

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THE BASICS

Invest in some new dishcloths, oven gloves and a new apron. I know this sounds ridiculous, because no bauying of foods this year the kitchen is strictly for you! And if you're preparing a lot of food you don't want to be in a rage because you've splashed fat over well designed dress, or wiped a grubby hand over the Gucci blouse.
Those white caterers' floor-length aprons are very chic, but they normally only cover from the waist down which defeats half the purpose. As for the dishcloths, it's pointless to have old and stained things hanging around when you've made such an effort with the rest of the house.
GUEST LIST
The guest list for Christmas Day is always a problem. There are some people who appear to have corralled a perfect group of friends and family, who meet in a perfectly convivial way every year and who all love each other, but that is not just unusual. It's weird.
As more and more of us have rather complicated family arrangements, things are usually a great deal more haphazard and possibly emotionally tense.
I love to have as many of my extended family around as possible. If you have a lot of people coming and going, don't rely on precise timings for everything. Everyone is always late and will more than likely change their plans at the last minute.
When you've got small children and have been awake since six in the morning, it's a bit tiresome having to wait till three for lunch, but if you've got teenagers and young people coming, it's torture for them having to get up early.
To stave off hunger, serve delicious waffles with honey as an appetizer. Remember though, too much food and the main meal becomes pointless.
My own infallible recipe for dealing with everything is to open a bottle of good champagne at around 11am. By the time you are ready to serve lunch you are in such a fabulous good mood that you won't mind late-comers, hungover guests, arguments or even food that has gone slightly wrong.

DRINKS
Vodka's the fashionable drink this year, but most won’t mind as they are all aware of the recession this year, so get the men to one corner and open up any type of booze you can find and get the women to have malts. Finite!

THE CARDS
Actress Joanna Lumley advising people to recycle Christmas cards

A chic way to display your Christmas cards is to staple them on stiff grosgrain ribbon pinned to the walls either horizontally or vertically. I once had an assistant who was able to rustle up beautiful ribbon rosettes to position at the top of the ribbons, but I have failed to manage this myself.
It depends how many you are sent, but if you put them all over the tables and window sills, you've got no room for anything else and they drive you mad by falling over all the time.

THE TREE LIGHTS
White lights are obviously more restrained and harmonious, but since I was brought up with colored lights, colored it still is on our tree - the more deep pink ones on the string, the better!
A pretty idea, if you can organize it.

DECORATIONS
Personally, I feel that decorations should be a wonderful trip down memory lane and still feel a childlike excitement unwrapping them from the huge hat boxes they are stored in.
MUSIC

There are plenty of musical alternatives to schmaltz such as Slade's Merry Christmas Everybody
If you've had enough we wish you a merry Christmas song, I can say you’ve had the best but some CD of some latest jams of the year will really get the party far!


THE SHOPPING

Christmas shopping is an ordeal - even I can't pretend otherwise. My best tip is to hire a cab for the day. You don't have to worry about parking, carrying endless bags, the weather. Local cabs often will do you a good deal for a guaranteed four or five hours' work.
But this year don’t kill yourself over shopping. Period!

It's really works