Hi Family, This story I am about to share was a one week WhatsApp discussion between myself and a Nairalander. She decided to share this heartbreaking story with me. This story is a bit long and mature responses are what we pray for. Hear her story.

I am a broken young woman who has loved and left reeling in hurt and disappointment. I am having a lot of difficulty in trusting my husband again, so I decided to share this story with DeeDee.

This is my story:

I fell in love with him when I was 17. We are from the same area but he wasn’t brought up there just like me.

I came back home from Port Harcourt in 2009 after my WAEC examination. We moved to our own house in 2010, still the same town but different area. Some months later, he moved down to their own house with his family, their house is adjacent to ours. I am

I am a very private person; shy and always love to spend time indoor – the type Yorubas will call OMO GET INSIDE, so I didn’t care when I heard we had a new neighbour, not knowing that the new neighbour would be the one to transform my life forever.

The following day I saw his sisters, I was still looking at his sisters when he came out of the house with his friends.

Immediately I saw him I was lost in thought and couldn’t take my eyes off him.

I guessed my Mom must have noticed the attraction then she shouted angrily at me;

“You better continue what you are doing and stop this nonsense”

That was the saving grace that day I first saw him. I couldn’t just take my off Dekunle (not real name)

That was it for me! Love at first sight!

As days flew by, I felt more attracted to him. I always think about the face, the beautiful features, but the problem was I couldn’t talk to him because I was always with my parents and they were strict.

As luck would have it, my mom sent me to fetch water one day from the well that was beside their house. I was so excited, I picked up a bucket with the hope of seeing him closely. Then, I saw him in front of their house just on a trouser.

I was so excited, I picked up a bucket with the hope of seeing him closely. Then, I saw him in front of their house just on a trouser.

His body was beautiful and well structured, six packs, smooth skin, curly hair, I just couldn’t stop staring at him until he looked up and caught me staring.

His eyes were beautiful, I would not lie.

Embarrassed that he caught me staring, I quickly walked away but I was happy he noticed me. The next day my parents were out to work, I was told to fetch water before they return.

In a bid to get to see him again, I quickly tidied up the house and went to the well to fetch water. On my way there, I heard a whistle and I looked in the direction.

He was looking through his window and caught me staring at him again. Embarrassed the second time that he may have noticed that I have a thing for him, I took out my phone and played ” E no easy oh” by Psquare, to calm my already fast beating heart and anxious mind, I concentrated on fetching the water.

In order to get my attention fully, he also came out with buckets to fetch water. My heart started beating fast and I couldn’t focus on fetching water. He came closer and said;

“E no easy but they are making money”

I didn’t say anything I just smiled. He then helped me with the water. I was however too shy and lovestruck to talk to him.

The next day, I saw him by his window again and this time, it was like he was actually waiting for me to come around, he signaled at me to come closer to his window. I moved closer anxious to hear his voice again and look into his eyes. We got properly acquainted and I felt immense happiness talking to him.

That moment I knew I was in love with him.

That spot became our rendezvous spot; His window.

We later extended it to going to the beach together in order to avoid the prying eyes of my parents since they have started to notice how close we were.

Remember I was 17 years old, very young!

After discovering our lovey-dovey affair, my parents decided to lock me in the house and seize my phone to deny me from all sort of communication with Dekunle. However as fate would have it, I heard him passing by one day, so I quickly opened my window, he was happy when he saw me and asked why my phone has been off.

We later agreed that he would be sneaking to my house at night so we could get to know each other more and water the flower of our newly planted love seed.

After sometime, my parents became suspicious of the late night frolicking and he decided to man up. He started coming to my parent’s house to buy groceries, since my mom sells. He also decided to start assisting my mom with little chores around the area and soon enough, my

He also decided to start assisting my mom with little chores around the area and soon enough, my parents’ heart warmed towards him.

Naturally, he did not ask me out, we just started dating from the first day. He knew what I felt for him was so strong and decided to roll with the tide. I was happy, excited to be in love with such a handsome young man and our love developed from there.

I was happy, excited to be in love with such a handsome young man and our love developed from there.

After we got really close, I discovered that he was studying accounting at the University, he encouraged me to further my studies but I felt insecure.

I thought the distance will cause havoc so when my mom obtained d jamb form for me then, I blew up the exam because I didn’t want to go to school yet. I wanted to get closer to him.

I wanted to get closer to him. later on, I started seeing him with female folks, I got so jealous so I decided to go to school like he wanted so I got admitted into a college.

I was in my second year in the College in 2014 when he proposed to me and I said YES! The feeling was out of this world really, a man I loved with all my heart finally asking me to be his wife. The feeling was just out of this world.

Then he gave me a condition that I must be able to read in Arabic before I could be his wife. there’s no way I could go back to Arabic school because it will be embarrassing to be with the children learning there so I told him I will try. I tried learning online but I wasn’t as good as he wanted so I felt inferior. I felt I wasn’t good enough so I decided to pause our relationship and have campus

No WAY! How can I go back to Arabic school because it will be embarrassing to be with the children learning there, so I told him I will try because I love him and wouldn’t want anything to

How can I go back to Arabic school because it will be embarrassing to be with the children learning there, so I told him I will try because I love him and wouldn’t want anything to jeopardize our new level of relationship.

I tried learning online but I wasn’t as good as he wanted so I felt inferior. I felt I wasn’t good enough so I decided to pause our relationship and have campus flings.

I felt inferior; like I wasn’t good enough so I decided to pause our relationship and have campus fling because I felt really bad that I so much loved him and he shouldn’t have given me conditions in our relationship.

He noticed I changed so he lifted the condition with the promise that when we get married, he will teach me Arabic.

That settled, we then planned to inform our parents about our intended Union.

He told his parents and later told mine. His parents refused because they wanted him to marry someone that’s from their town.

My parents, on the other hand, thought that I still needed time to plan my future and learn a lot about life so they said NO as well.

Then the pressure started.

It got so high to the point that we decided that when we were done with school, I will get pregnant for him and we will now announce my pregnancy so that we can have their blessings and then properly get married.

Then Pregnancy happened!

We were shocked, I was in my final year; a few months to my exams. He was done with school and job hunting, and I could not even think about the idea of nursing a baby without him having a job. I was scared stiff that I would have to depend on him for everything. We were both not ready for the baby.

The thought of things not going according to plans bothered me so much that it almost affected my final exams.


We then decided that I won’t have the BABY.............................................................................

The pregnancy was 2 weeks old so we thought it was going to be easy to terminate it but we were very wrong because we tried everything to flush it out, it just didn't work.

I thought of abortion pills and D&C but I was afraid of the consequence so eventually, we left the baby.

I couldn't tell my parents until the pregnancy was 3 months old, so I told my brother who was responsible for my education on WhatsApp because I couldn't face him.

He later contacted the families to break the news.

After all said and done, we fixed a date for introduction but it was later canceled due to a misunderstanding between a member of both families.

He changed afterwards, he doesn't spend time with me like before, and when I confronted him about his lack of time. His only excuse would be that he was trying to get a good job so that he can take up his responsibility.

As the pregnancy continued to grow, I became uncomfortable living with my parents so I discussed with him on the marriage issue. He went livid and berserk, shouted at me that can't I be considerate? He doesn't have the money for the lists from my parents.

I concluded that I was not having the discussion with him again. I felt bad because I was not the one that created the baby in my tummy. We both did it together and we should both accept that.

However, he grew cold to me until my delivery day.

Despite his attitude at that time, he was in the labour room with me on delivery day as I delivered a beautiful baby girl.

After my delivery, he came back to his senses and decided to beg my family for his cold treatment when I was pregnant.

Eventually, we had our introduction after the delivery of the baby!

I moved in with him and we started living as husband and wife.

I trusted him completely as I figured that he was in love with me and appreciated me as his woman.

Until that fateful day.

Whenever our daughter cries, he gives her one of his phones to play with. That day I came into the room and found my daughter struggling to put the phone in her mouth. In my bid to collect the phone from her, I checked the screen to confirm whether it was damaged only to see the message he sent to a girl about some recharge card and some other fairly naughty convos.

I noticed from the tone of the conversation that he usually chats with me that way back then. Something told me to check the chat but because I trusted him and I had no right to his privacy. I just ignored the chat.

Exactly 3 days later, I was awakened by the cry of my baby so I picked her up and was breastfeeding her when I noticed his Blackberry phone beeped.

I took the phone with the intention of giving it him only to find a message from the same lady that he chatted with earlier, so I opened it and saw all the previous chats.

How they have been having sex

How he intends to bring him into his house as a second wife.

I was shocked and devastated!

I loved him, I trusted him.

We had plans that it was going to be just me and me alone!

He promised me, He swore to me.

How could he have cheated on me all this while.

I couldn't eat for days so I became lean and unkempt but I really didn't care or notice it.

All I felt was hatred, betrayal, used and foolish.

I reported to all the families since everyone noticed I was looking unkempt and starved. The feeling was something I could not deal with.

The family has apologized, he has apologized as well and it took me months before I could be myself again, to forgive him.

Yes, I have forgiven him, but trusting him is the issue I have at the moment.

How can I live with someone I do not trust? Should I move to my parents house?

How do I even deal

I still love him, I know but the pain still hurts till today!

What should I do?

http://deedeesblog.com/agony-young-married-woman-can-i-ever-love-and-trust-him-again/

Pheeeeew that was some lengthy write up there.
Anyways, since he has apologised I want to assume it's a genuine one. You should try to condition your mind to trusting him again.
P.S. Starving yourself and looking unkempt doesn't really help much in such situations. Just for the records.

Arabic? I guess you guys are Muslim. If yes, sooner or later there's going to be a second wife. So prepare yourself. As for the apology, he only did that because he got caught. Henceforth, he's gonna clear tracks.

Bye

cc: lalasticlala, mynd44

It's better you brace yourself up for what is to come because sooner or later there's gonna be a second wife or continuous cheating.

Nice write-up. Apart from a couple of repetitions, that is.

This (blog) really should be in the Literature Section. That aside, the lady in question should accept her fate as her religion permits the man to marry up to 4 wives. At least she'll be the first and most senior wife, so that should count for something.

In the meantime she should seek to improve herself either by completing her education and getting a job / starting up a business. With her husband's permission though.

Cc: Ishilove

EfemenaXY:
Nice write-up. Apart from a couple of repetitions, that is.

This (blog) really should be in the Literature Section. That aside, the lady in question should accept her fate as her religion permits the man to marry up to 4 wives. At least she'll be the first and most senior wife, so that should count for something.

In the meantime she should seek to improve herself either by completing her education and getting a job / starting up a business. With her husband's permission though.

Cc: Ishilove

Thanks a lot for the advice, I am sure she is reading as well.

Scary

Sorry is your name

Phew! What a script! Dunno if this is real or some literature, honestly.

inemani:
Phew! What a script! Dunno if this is real or some literature, honestly.

It's not real.

It's fictional and @op seeks traffic for his blog.

EfemenaXY:

It's not real.
It's fictional and @op seeks traffic for his blog.

I see, no wonder!

Bullsh!t

No 1: two of una no get work to do

No 2; why u carry Fone go fetch water!!!

olasmith10:
No 1: two of una no get work to do

No 2; why u carry Fone go fetch water!!!

Hmmmn....