HAPPY NEW YEAR

Well, I don't really write on matters like this but my experience with people the few last days of the 2016 has prompted me to pick my pen. I met three different women (or permit me to call them girls) whose main prayer point and desire for 2017 was to find Mr. Right. And this desire is not just a passive one, they are really desperate to get this desire.




In fact, two of them actually went on days of fasting. One(a Muslim) went to the mountain to pray for three days while the second locked herself in a church for seven days.


While this is not a bad prayer point, it is also important that we check if it is a necessary one or not. For example, it will be surprising to find a seven year old boy praying to God for a car for himself. A car is not a bad desire, but at his stage in life, he's not matured enough to handle the car. This is the same way God views ladies who pray to him for marriage when they themselves are not ready or prepared for marriage. Just follow through, you will understand me better as I proceed.

One of the ladies is a young woman of about 26 years old, her own prayer point was not necessarily to get married in 2017 as she still has one year in school but to find a faithful partner whose main objective for their relationship will be marriage. According to calculation, she will be 28 by the time she finishes her National Service and she desires to get married immediately after service. Now, describing a little bit of her physical appearance won't hurt. She's beautiful (I mean very beautiful), she's curvy and blessed with "moderate physical assets", both at the back and front. Looking at her, you would wonder why an "endowed" lady like her is fasting and praying for a partner when every Saturday, ladies who are not as endowed as her are getting married. And before you think she's not morally upright, she is morally sound and a very good cook (I know this because she's a relative and I've eaten several of her delicious meals). Now, I know you may be wondering why she doesn't have a relationship if she really has all the qualities I've written about her. It would interest you to know that in the last five years, she has been involved in four relationships with four different men at different times. I only know of the last two men she dated and how their relationship ended.

The first one's name is Dauda(not real name), this one I know very well, he was even my friend and had given me gifts (as his girlfriend's younger brother) on two different occasions, one of these occasions was my birthday. It surprised me after returning from school for Second semester break to hear that they had broken up. This was shocking to me. They looked like the perfect couple on earth and complimented each other in various ways, so I had no idea that there was ever going to be a break up. I was told when I asked that they broke up because Dauda impregnated another lady. While making more enquires, I discovered that he had tried his possible best to make things work out but the "my sister" refused totally at first until after two month she began to think of giving him a chance. But it was too late as Dauda had already accepted his fate and agreed to move on with the lady he impregnated.

The second relationship I know of and the last one she had was with a very handsome guy whom I didn't get to know very well. I won't go into details of this. The relationship ended when Taofeek(not real name) traveled out of the country and broke away all contacts from her. She later found out that Taofeek was a married man with kids in South Africa and only kept her in Nigeria to help warm his body during a one year training course.

Now there's no need for me to go into boring details of the other ladies' life. I'll just pick out few points to keep from the story of this relative of mine.

As I got to know her better, I found out that the most other guys she had dated in the past had not broken her heart but she had left them after one simple mistake they made or a little misunderstanding just for the reason that the relationship wasn't going to lead to marriage after all. Those men(boys) weren't up to her standards in morality and they didn't posses the qualities of her "Mr Right" .

Now note this; she had had people who had been likely faithful to her and loved her truly but she left them because they didn't meet up to her standards of Mr Right, meaning she was expecting a man who would posses all the qualities that the "perfect man" in her mind has. So she left these ones and moved on to people who she thought had these qualities but they messed up her heart.

Lesson One: Accept People the way they are. [/b]Don't try to change them because you're not perfect yourself. If you think they have any attribute that is not okay (not because you don't like it but because it is not helpful to himself and others), help him see the reason why he should change this behavior.

[b]
Lesson Two: Don't let your disappointment in someone make you shut him out of your life. [/b]Humans are not perfect and we all have flaws. Learn to listen and forgive, forget if possible. From my own opinion, her relationship with Dauda could have still had a good result if she had listened to him. He probably may have been tempted and had failed but that does not mean he doesn't love her, he only needs to learn what to do in order not to make the situation repeat itself.

[b]Lesson Three: Check Yourself and know where you're faulty. Until I brought this to the her attention, she kept on blaming her relationship failures on the men, how they make silly mistakes and how they are heartless (in the case of the last one). So her prayer point was for God to bring her way "Mr Right" without thinking of the fact that she isn't Mrs Right.

Before asking for Mr Right, make sure you're Mrs Right.

*Yawns. Wow! I don't believe I've written this long. I'll put a full stop right here, don't forget to share the lessons you picked out and ask your questions using the comment box.

Source: http://talkeverytime..com.ng/2016/12/3-lessons-you-need-if-you-want-to-meet.html?m=1

2017...calling my Mr. RIGHT...

Don't accept what you can't cope with while trying to take people for whom they are. Tho compromise is inevitable in relationships but remember people don't change. Accept what you can live with

Alondra:
Don't accept what you can't cope with while trying to take people for whom they are. Tho compromise is inevitable in relationships but remember people don't change. Accept what you can live with

I agree with you, but don't waste their time in a relationship if you've spotted something you can't live with

Modified: It's possible for people to change, there are certainly some attitudes/ behaviors you can change when you really decide to

Logical! But you see, op, people don't reveal who they truly are on your first days of acquaintances with them. When you now later know that they are deceptive, aggressive and cheats but want to keep you under the delusion that they still love you, do you accept them for "who" they are? Even when you know that these degrading values of theirs are fixed? My brother, I feel relationship, love, marriage and all that are just a function of luck and some degree of predestination...I've quit trying. I just live my life, hoping someday I'll get to meet a woman who is courteous, full of decorum, finesse, class and have the fear of God. I'll live with whatever flaws she has outside the aforementioned!

talkavenue:
I agree with you, but don't waste their time in a relationship if you've spotted something you can't live with

Modified: It's possible for people to change, there are certainly some attitudes/ behaviors you can change when you really decide to

The best thing is never rush into a relationship, Be friends first to know whom you are going to be with. Some people don't take heartbreak well no matter how genuine the reason(s) is/ are.

People don't really change.. Unwanted characters are suppressed and can pop out at provocations or when the willingness to obey the partner is gone. So its best to take people who you can cope with their flaws for whom they are.

Alondra:
The best thing is never rush into a relationship, Be friends first to know whom you are going to be with. Some people don't take heartbreak well no matter how genuine the reason(s) is/ are.

People don't really change.. Unwanted characters are suppressed and can pop out at provocations or when the willingness to obey the partner is gone. So its best to take people who you can cope with their flaws for whom they are.

Still, you may never know....the heart of man is deep...who can know it?

LordIsaac:

Still, you may never know....the heart of man is deep...who can know it?

The heart of a man is deep truly... That assertion sir just confirmed mine