Does it really have to do with doctors or a psychologist or even a counsellor? Am 2 temperamental for my liking and its affecting me a great deal. I need to calm down on my temper and dont know how to do this. I have fasted n prayed but notin seems to be working. it gets worse day by day n i dont want to develop High BP at my age(30). I know there are people like me in the house. may i know how you are trying to deal with your temper or how you have dealt wit it.

Secondly, can temper cause ulcer? Each time am dat angry, i get pains around my abdomen. Pls somebody should help me out. if there is any drug to be calming my nerves each time i get angry pls recommend just that my actions are always spontanous that i will regret later on. I have tormented my family enough and i need to take a break(Quit)This is no joke. Am dead serious,

- Admitting the problem is the first step.

- you need to figure out why you get as angry as the extent you do----- what happened to you in your childhood ? who upsets you ? what are the things that make you angry ? <if you can figure some of these things out maybe you can avoid them.> who do you associate with that upsets you ? Do you store and save up your anger ? How can you let go ?

Keep a journal can also help you

There not much psycho-therapeutic help in Nigeria <If thats where you are based> but if you are not there visit a therapist.

You can also impose a punishment on your self for every time you get angry, justified or not, not something drastic, just enough to make you tick e.g dash out a particular sum to a stranger, do chores you know you don't like. Best of luck.

I have a very bad _stubborntemper because i stammer

I do the following:-

- i take a walk whenever i feel like am about to burst , long walks can be refreshing
- I watch cartoons
- pack my room
- avoid the person/people who wants to annoy me
-find a notepad and just scribble rubbish till am tired


[s]I am guilty though of venting on innocent people sometimes[/s]

i nefa vex yet

^^^^ I fit vex you.



"when you say pack your room" I imagine you mean "clean"

Anyways

@ OP, Music can be a great relaxer as well.

No pack as in scatter all the clothes and everything. throw things all over the place, then i pack them all up,one by one

Lol--- funny! I've never tried that one before.

-Read my Bible
- Do some work-out at the Gym
-Engage myself in culinary work.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^definitely working out at the gym helps a lot

Also running or walking as some have already pointed out


The challenge is learning to figure out how to channel your anger to positive things---- its ok to be angry but it shouldn't be to the extent that it destroys your life or relationships with others.

I am very temperamental too, sometimes i transfer the aggression to people that come in contact with me when i'm angry. I busy myself with work especially tidying up.

I have a really bad temper, when ever it comes out it always happens a blackout and when i grab my conscious the is not viewable even by me, who has done those things, what should i do about this i juts can't control it, tell me how to not loose my consciousness.

^^^^^ read to understand some suggestions in the thread. 

reffer101:

I have a really bad temper, when ever it comes out it always happens a blackout and when i grab my conscious the is not viewable even by me, who has done those things, what should i do about this i juts can't control it, tell me how to not loose my consciousness.

Newbie? old wine in a new bottle it seems.

iice:

Put me on speed dial. . .when you vex, my room is always open

why are you trying to vex me

@ Poster,

You are on your way to recovery with the confession. Moving forward, try being conscious of the temper all the time and make efforts to defeat the monster by choosing not to get angry. Believe me you can control yourself. Also try moving away from the cause of the anger, at least to reduce its effect, you could always come back to address the issue on your terms.

All the best!

i also is hot tempered and easily get upset with little things,my own is even worst cause i usually have pain in my stomach if i hav,nt eating for some hours.i think the best thing to do is by listening to music with your earphone and smile when talking to people ,seize your self from people who throw their ignorance in public anyhow.

Mine is worst, cos whenever it started i always get a nock in the brain
all my arteries/veins will pop out that u will be seeing the movement of the temper/hot blood  
but once it started, i just grab a bottle of gulder and my best music, then roll on the dance floor  
or a long walk can relief you

being a temperamental person is no fun.in my own case,i dont break things in the house,i want to break pple up and it had landed me in trouble more times than i care to remember.bt with the birth of my twin boyz,am trying very hard to control it cos i can afford to put my hands on those angels.these days,i try to walk out of the situation or just try very hard to ignore it.a month ago,i was at my friends house and the first thing he told me was,try and keep ur famous anger under control here.it was seriously humiliating.i read a lot and i watch telly too,that way,i can control.bt i cant help my foul mouth in place of my fist. i have lost a lot cos of my anger and its very painful and sad.

Each time am dat angry, i get pains around my abdomen

Boy! You do get ANGRY!

You said there are ppl like you in the house? Did you mean they are temparamental too?

If so I suspect you guys are not compatible? A first step, if its within your power, is to relocate elsewhere.
I know it may sound like running away from a problem, but sometimes when we remove some people from our lives things get so much easier.

Sometimes things just cannot work between some people and we think there is a problem, where there isn't ,

Secondly, try to identify what makes you "spark" and avoid it. Try to find humour in things. Find new hobbies that will distract your mind away
from your stressors,

Good luck!

I have a temper that has been of benefit to me at times while the opposite applied at other times in the ratio
of 30--70% and in that order. I believe we can work on it since we know the negativity it brings along with it.

@ POster

yes a link has been found between aggresiveness and ulcer infact psychological probs play a role in most physiological gastrointestinal problems.
stress,anxiety,anger----can lead to persistent vagal hyperactivity leading to gastric acid hypersecretion and u should know dt hypersecretion of gastric acid can damage d mucosa of the git.
this culd be d cause of the pain u experince whenever u get angry.


seek the help of a psychotherapist near you that 's d best advice u can get here.

I usually eat raw pepper each time my temper rises ; try it out i think it works.

I don't take anyone or anything too seriously in the first place.

It is very hard to piss me off or for me to even get angry. As I have matured, I have developed an ability not to expect much of people so as not to get frustrated.

There are more important things in life than wasting my anger on people.

And even the few occassions I get angry, I only raise my voice. If I raise my voice and you still don't get it, then I move to the stage of ignoring you and if necessary (very rarely as I don't take things too serious) cutting you off.

@topic


I just walk away from it all . . .

You are depressed my good friend, you may be suffering from bipolar disorder, it usually comes with a curious state of euphoria and unusually high energy, racing thought, fragmented speech and a lack of sleep which were usually accompanied by an unfounded suspicion that your friends/family members/siblings/relations etc are taking undue advantages of you. This illness includes severe mood swings that vacillates between depression and mania.

Identify what your problem/fears are, then we can take it from there. Goodluck

Just take deep breathes,in and out,calm yourself down.
get a squash ball.squeezing the balls helps alot.

Breaking stuff helps too,but that technique's a wee bit hard on the wallet.

i simply grab my ipod, n go for a long walk, cool music really helps alot,