Hello,
Got this Via inbox:

I got married like 2years ago, I am in my late 30s while my husband is in his late 40s. We have a Son.

Trouble started when my husband lost his job about a year ago. He changed completely from the Man he was to a complete stranger.

He became Vicious and full of anger. I work, I earn good Salary, he has refused to do even menial jobs to survive pending when he gets another well paying job. When our Rent expired October last year, I sat him down to have a hearty talk, we talked and I handed him the #600,000 to pay the rent. Knowing how egoistic he is, I told him it's a Loan he's taking from me, that he'll pay me back once he Secures another job.

He took the money, paid the rent, but my husband won't sleep in that house, neither will he eat what I cook anytime he comes around. We can no longer have a decent conversation without him saying that my money is getting into my head.

Whenever he's ranting, I just keep quiet, he gets to a point he'll be asking me 'won't you say anything?' i'll tell him no, then another side of rant starts that am now making him look like a fool.
If I talk, problem, if I don't talk, another problem

I don't know where he sleeps, i've asked severally, but he won't say. He has lost tremendous amount of weight and not in anyway the man I know before now.

In December, he told me that by January we shall all be relocating to his Village to start life there. He insists that if I dont leave my work and leave with him back to the Village by this January, that I should consider our marriage Over.

I asked him why I should leave a lucrative job that carter's for our only son, myself, including his late brother's Kids who live with Us and follow him to the Village, what will I be doing there? He said we will start farming.

My dear, I love my husband, I love him to a fault, but this ultimatum is threatening our marriage, i've spoken to his family, they seem to be in support that I move back to the village with him.

Please help me, I don't want to lose my marriage, but I won't want to give up this job, that's where I also foot my aged parents medical bills from. This is my predicament.
___________________________

Pls friends, advice our Sister. She needs it urgently!

Credit: Amaka N.

I almost believed this story... almost!!!

The man is the head of the house yield to him

George22016:
The man is the head of the house yield to him

Seriously?
Dangerous move

George22016:
The man is the head of the house yield to him

And be broke and jobless like him, right?

It is a case of a wounded lion

I won't advice her to go with him to the village. But how to pacify or make him change his mind is what I don't know

aflyingbird:


And be broke and jobless like him, right?

Well said

.

Tell Amaka to come here herself to share her problems.

Assuming this is true, It's sad he is giving an ultimatum but is the job really worth her marriage? If it is, fine, if it's not, then she can at least ask for a few months to put things right and get a good plan because who's to say she can't lose her job after giving up her marriage, then she will lose both ways. Marriage is for better for worse and she has entered, It's just sad he's egotistical and petty, sorry for saying this about her love and hubby.

Men and ego, is their downfall.

I will never tell you what to do. I believe that no matter how auspicious any well articulated and well conjectured advice i give, you are dealing with a human being who has been through some psychological vagaries. I just have one question, why did you tell your husband who has no job( even if he had a job) that the money you are giving him is a loan? Sincerely, do you exude any vibe that suggests he has lost his role as a father and husband? Good you love him, how have you supported him emotionally during these hard times? Is there still any way you can make him compromise on his stance by letting him know he is still in charge? I think one of the simplest ways to get a man is by making him know( not feel) he is still in charge. Good luck as you make a decision.

Never you, I repeat never relocate with him to the villa. Men can be so controlling and annoying.

Prognose:
Hello,
Got this Via inbox:

I got married like 2years ago, I am in my late 30s while my husband is in his late 40s. We have a Son.

Trouble started when my husband lost his job about a year ago. He changed completely from the Man he was to a complete stranger.

He became Vicious and full of anger. I work, I earn good Salary, he has refused to do even menial jobs to survive pending when he gets another well paying job. When our Rent expired October last year, I sat him down to have a hearty talk, we talked and I handed him the #600,000 to pay the rent. Knowing how egoistic he is, I told him it's a Loan he's taking from me, that he'll pay me back once he Secures another job.

He took the money, paid the rent, but my husband won't sleep in that house, neither will he eat what I cook anytime he comes around. We can no longer have a decent conversation without him saying that my money is getting into my head.

Whenever he's ranting, I just keep quiet, he gets to a point he'll be asking me 'won't you say anything?' i'll tell him no, then another side of rant starts that am now making him look like a fool.
If I talk, problem, if I don't talk, another problem

I don't know where he sleeps, i've asked severally, but he won't say. He has lost tremendous amount of weight and not in anyway the man I know before now.

In December, he told me that by January we shall all be relocating to his Village to start life there. He insists that if I dont leave my work and leave with him back to the Village by this January, that I should consider our marriage Over.

I asked him why I should leave a lucrative job that carter's for our only son, myself, including his late brother's Kids who live with Us and follow him to the Village, what will I be doing there? He said we will start farming.

My dear, I love my husband, I love him to a fault, but this ultimatum is threatening our marriage, i've spoken to his family, they seem to be in support that I move back to the village with him.

Please help me, I don't want to lose my marriage, but I won't want to give up this job, that's where I also foot my aged parents medical bills from. This is my predicament.
___________________________

Pls friends, advice our Sister. She needs it urgently!

Credit: Amaka N.

let dem gt divorced....she wld mke d biggest mistake of her life if she moves with him. she has her parents too so why wld u lose ur job cus of a jobless man

Madam money has no mood swings, does not make you unhappy, takes care of Your needs, solves your problems,

Emotions do not pay school fees, emotions do not buy children's books, emotions do not buy drug medication, no hospital asks You to settle Your bill with emotions

Ask him diplomatically and tactifully to provide You a source of income in the village before moving to the village.
If not, please calmly, kindly peacefully keep making Your Legit Money. Softly spoken

Well, let me finally put this across. Reach for the deepest part of your heart to find out that soft spot he has, Approach him tactfully like someone just said and talk to him passionately. I love that you've not demonized him like some women will do. It goes to show you're a good woman. Please and please, I am desperately pleading, let not this tear up your family. Things will be good. Possibly, your husband gets too frustrated so much so he'd allow that obscure his sense of judgement. That's also amateurish but can be tamed with gentility. I'm sure my submissions seem to favor him the most, but believe me I'd still ask him to mellow if he'd been the one online. I'm only trying to be the moderate conservative and seek for the preservation of core family values and the institution of marriage having seen the effect the adversity from these things can have on some kids. Its not wise to go back when there isn't anything tangible back in the village for you. Let him know this subtly. But i really want to ask again, why did you tell him you are giving him a loan. kai. That's the unimpressive thing I just read from your post. I might never sleep in the house just like him, if I was the one. Sorry, I have to upbraid you on that. See this if you are a christian. Corinthians 7:3-5 - Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the
wife unto the husband. if you are, also use the bible verse proverbs 31:11-31 to show him why you shouldn't go back but work to help him and the family. I have hope for your family.

crackhaus:
Tell Amaka to come here herself to share her problems.

Why did u change the smileys to angree faces

Prognose:

Why did u change the smileys to angree faces

Huh?

all these una fake stories.


Your husband doesn't have a job and you both sleep comfortably in a 600k rented apartment.

Una well done

The man is bitter. Nothing beats a bitter Man. In a selfish but wise opinion I will advice Amaka not to move to the village. We have our lives first to live and fulfill before marriage. You cant lose your job because so many lives depends on it too.


But in a selfless but foolish opinion, I'd say Amaka should move to the village with her husband. They are married and he is the head. Except she is willing to end the marriage.

This is a matter of choice

George22016:
The man is the head of the house yield to him

Is dt a sarcasm or real.I shud believe u re being sarcastic and nt being serious.Kindly read it again then comment again.

Stories like this abound. like it's so common.

Goes to show that for men their masculinity = earning power +sexual prowess.


If one or both is missing, they turn to sissies, Dragging you down to wallow in their misery.


I made a decision never to allow a man dump his problems of masculinity on me, if he ever has one.

Acidosis:
all these una fake stories.


Your husband doesn't have a job and you both sleep comfortably in a 600k rented apartment.

Una well done

Didn't you read the part where she mentioned she has a well paying job

Doesn't she live in the house, so why would she say she's loaning the rent money to her husband? I thought marriage involved partnership and both parties assisting each other during stressful times. So as a woman she cannot pay the rent? What kind of women are we raising in Africa? We live in a world where for many there's no job security. A lot of families live on one income and there's no differentiation between the source of income.

Joavid:


Didn't you read the part where she mentioned she has a well paying job

Yea, I read that part. The same well paying job that will make the husband refund 600k once he secures another job.

She might have told him that she was loaning him the money because he is the kind of Man who will not want to be seen as taking money from his wife, or living off his wife,or having a woman pay his bills.
.
Some men, even when you give them the money, will insist on paying you back.
.
I can understand this.... but I don't know if I believe this story.
.
Relocate to the village to go and farm? Farm what? Yam? Have they been farming before? What will they live on pending when the farm produce develop?
With how many kids?

Hunger is no man's friend.
Things have to be in place before you can uproot your whole life and all you have known and are familiar with on anyones whims, even if the person is your husband.
If he's adamant on going to the village, let him go first while you others stay in the city. If you can work a transfer to the closest town in your village, do so. If your company doesn't have any branch close to your village, start looking for a job in a town close to your village. I'd you find one, good.
Let your husband know your plans , and let him see you making effort to do that.
At least you have made a compromise. He should meet you in the middle. Let him start his farming, you can visit when you're on annual leave, on weekends with a public holiday following it. He can also visit you and the children.
It is not wise to drop everything you're doing, and leave for an uncertain future. You have children who you have a responsibility towards and have to provide for.

George22016:
The man is the head of the house yield to him

Are you for real? I take that to be sarcasm sha. Men and ego, SMH!

This thread is a joke filled with jokers.

Who in his or her right mind would leave a well paying job and settle for a life of penury and hardship off the whim of a jobless man?? For what reason & to prove what to whom??

ArchEnemy:
It is a case of a wounded lion

I won't advice her to go with him to the village. But how to pacify or make him change his mind is what I don't know

Pacify him over what? Hasn't she got enough on her plate as it is?

If he wants to take up a new career as a village farmer, so be it.

Waving the divorce card in her face is just a silly move on his part to avoid all responsibilities to his family.

I'm wondering too. I think that woman should move on with her life. She should tell him in very clear English to move on with his too.
How are you Efe, hope good.

EfemenaXY:
This thread is a joke filled with jokers.

Who in his or her right mind would leave a well paying job and settle for a life of penury and hardship off the whim of a jobless man?? For what reason & to prove what to whom??

Let him move to the village by himself.
If it will be the end of the marriage, let it be.
It's his call.

Orisirisi