People still take this 'men are providers' BS literally?

Not really.
It's only on the internet. In real life it's only a matter of time before you're required to bring home the bacon too.

pcguru1:


There's this stuff called Prepclass where you can create course material and people can pay to subscribe for it. You can look it up. If I have more information I will share. I think your husband is just getting cranky about work and the economy.

More threads need you..

TrapQueen77:



I have a friend, she's a teacher as well..she was laid off from her job too & the worse she's a single mom but it doesn't stopped her there.. She set up a tutorial class in her house..
U can do that as well or try to venture in small biznez if ur into it..
Most Men nowadays, they don't value how hard to be a full time mother.

WOMEN you are a blessing.

ahnie:
Madam op...the economy z not friendly.you don't have to wait that long before getting another job.you ve to assist the dude in sharing responsibilities.when I had my first child...she was 3month old wen I resumed doing my Xtra moral classes and I was also employed in another school.

I am currently preggy with my second baby,with my big belly I still do my Xtra moral classes and also teaching.

You hav to be productive.you can enrol your baby into the schoo creche and do your thing.

ahnie:


Pls ayam interested on the prepclass stuff.

[quote author=ahnie post=53026642]
Womanhood is a blessing.

Lalasticlala what do you have to say?

airminem:


Outcome Of Our Previous Discus ~ He Says That's His Money So He Should Knw What He Does Wit It And The Day I Work Then I Can Claim My Own Money. This Is So Hard To Deal With. Thanks Though

That's gotta hurt but OP, he may not have meant it the way you think, trust me.

You should get a job, not even because of what he said but because it's the wise thing to do. There's a sense of security that comes with "your own money". The fact that two become one in marriage, doesn't mean you are no longer two individuals. He can get mad and say something, you don't expect, doesn't have to mean the end of the world.

I also get the feeling that, you can't help but point out how staying at home has been a huge deal, cos you are caring for the family, if that's the case, then I can understand why the man may be a tad bit irritated. Well, my sister, it's not easy being a mum/keeping a home but, it is what you signed up for, doing it should be wholehearted, with no expectations of being praised, just like no one's watching. Ofcourse we all like to be appreciated, but that's not something you demand, especially not for doing what you ought to do.

Your husband is just cranky, more so, given the present economy, just bear with him. Instead of getting angry or staying hurt, try and have a heart to heart with him, remind him you aren't lazy and why he chose to be married to you in the first place, don't just stay whinning, people with 3 months old kids work, get a nanny or enroll the kid in a creche, it's something you can do, a woman can have it all.

I Appreciate Okay

Rock01:

More threads need you..

cococandy:
People still take this 'men are providers' BS literally?

Not really.
It's only on the internet. In real life it's only a matter of time before you're required to bring home the bacon too.

Atleast u didn't blame d man dis time around

freecocoa:
That's gotta hurt but OP, he may not have meant it the way you think, trust me.

You should get a job, not even because of what he said but because it's the wise thing to do. There's a sense of security that comes with "your own money". The fact that two become one in marriage, doesn't mean you are no longer two individuals. He can get mad and say something, you don't expect, doesn't have to mean the end of the world.

I also get the feeling that, you can't help but point out how staying at home has been a huge deal, cos you are caring for the family, if that's the case, then I can understand why the man may be a tad bit irritated. Well, my sister, it's not easy being a mum/keeping a home but, it is what you signed up for, doing it should be wholehearted, with no expectations of being praised, just like no one's watching. Ofcourse we all like to be appreciated, but that's not something you demand, especially not for doing what you ought to do.

Your husband is just cranky, more so, given the present economy, just bear with him. Instead of getting angry or staying hurt, try and have a heart to heart with him, remind him you aren't lazy and why he chose to be married to you in the first place, don't just stay whinning, people with 3 months old kids work, get a nanny or enroll the kid in a creche, it's something you can do, a woman can have it all.

Cocoa don dey change o,can't beleive u didn't blame d man

HIGHESTPOPORI:
Cocoa don dey change o,can't beleive u didn't blame d man

Meaning wetin? I've always tried to be rational. Take your time o.

freecocoa:
Meaning wetin? I've always tried to be rational. Take your time o.

easy pls

Truth hurts

I think you deserve some sort of allowance monthly regardless.

Women and money

If not that i dont like spoiling peoples homes, i will have said it seems a side-chic has entered the picture.....

Ma'am you should have a heart-to-heart talk with your man over this matter instead of asking for advice on Nairaland- a forum where majority are not even married talk less of having kids. Most troubles that break up marriages are financial in nature and the best way to overcome such is through communication. If your man really loves you then he would be willing to listen to your own side of the argument rather than remain obstinate. Have you let him know how you feel when he makes such statements? Have you sat down to actually review how much you guys are spending from your budget? If you can't talk about such issues with your man then I wonder why you are both together in the first place?

Dont mind him, na unu get the money together jare! But try get a job.

cne010:
I think you deserve some sort of allowance monthly regardless.

The question is do the family monthly expenses give room for such luxury?



That English is doing me somehow...

Hmmmm

Too much suffering inside most marriages i tell u

@OP: This depends on the country you live in. If you live in Nigeria, I understand the frustration of your husband who believes you are simply a child-bearing scrounger with no value to add besides raising kids. If you live in the UK, the government pays a child benefit stipend which you can use to take care of your basic expenses, your husband wouldn't feel the pressure as much.

The money he earns is for the family, but I understand his frustration in being the sole breadwinner.

PaperLace:
My sister, 1yr and half? it's Buhari's economy.
Everyone is getting worked up, we're not getting value for our money and hardwork.

---

We should be more bothered 'bout how you can make some money, while still having time for you baby.

Modified: it seems you really want us to blame the man, and we have refused...lols. Okay, his money is una money, but you have a better idea of what he earns_ less the incessant hike in prices of recurrent expenditure from it and you'll

understand why he is angry.
Have you bothered to ask what he thinks he should have achieved? Maybe he planned buying a land in 2016, this is 2017, no land-no savings. Men naturally get angry when they are not meeting their target.

I didn't advise you to jump back into teaching because the average teaching jobs doesn't pay that much. It may not give your family's financial condition the required boost. There are so many things you can do from home to earn better than the average teacher. If you really want a career in teaching, you can do certification(s) while at home, that way...you'll be relevant upon your return.

Wait wait wait,do you sell food at airport hotel in Ikeja, the pic on your profile look like that of airport hotel,I go like eat that fish Ooo.

airminem:
I am a stay at home mom, for now. I was laid off from a teaching job while pregnant and decided to use this time to care for our 8months son. In the beginning there was never an issue with one persons money being his or hers it was always ours.

Now after a year and a half anything I spend becomes an issue. When we talk about money he talks about working his a.s.s off, having nothing to show for it, because I'm spending HIS money.

Surprisingly, I don't even shop. Every once in a while I may purchase something for the home or something our kid need. I'm almost tempted to go on back to work, but I would like to stay out one more year until our son is of preschool age. I don't know if I will be able to make it that long.

It just seems like when you become a stay at home mom and don't earn an income you become less than, not equal, and nothing is truly yours because you didn't earn it. Just because we are at home doesn't mean we don't work, we just don't get paid for it.

Don't blame your man. While you wait there are things you can venture into that won't take your time. Good night.

Then weneva he comes crawling to u at night tryna remove ur wrapper to log in. Tell him it's ur kpekus not ours

PaperLace:
My sister, 1yr and half? it's Buhari's economy.
Everyone is getting worked up, we're not getting value for our money and hardwork.

---

We should be more bothered 'bout how you can make some money, while still having time for you baby.

Modified: it seems you really want us to blame the man, and we have refused...lols. Okay, his money is una money, but you have a better idea of what he earns_ less the incessant hike in prices of recurrent expenditure from it and you'll understand why he is angry.
Have you bothered to ask what he thinks he should have achieved? Maybe he planned buying a land in 2016, this is 2017, no land-no savings. Men naturally get angry when they are not meeting their target.

I didn't advise you to jump back into teaching because the average teaching jobs doesn't pay that much. It may not give your family's financial condition the required boost. There are so many things you can do from home to earn better than the average teacher. If you really want a career in teaching, you can do certification(s) while at home, that way...you'll be relevant upon your return.

Where in Nigeria is the restaurant on your profile please?!

airminem:
I am a stay at home mom, for now. I was laid off from a teaching job while pregnant and decided to use this time to care for our 8months son. In the beginning there was never an issue with one persons money being his or hers it was always ours.

Now after a year and a half anything I spend becomes an issue. When we talk about money he talks about working his a.s.s off, having nothing to show for it, because I'm spending HIS money. U just need 2 get a job OK. Even if ur salary is meagre at least u will contributing something & adding value. Sitting @ home ll ma

Surprisingly, I don't even shop. Every once in a while I may purchase something for the home or something our kid need. I'm almost tempted to go on back to work, but I would like to stay out one more year until our son is of preschool age. I don't know if I will be able to make it that long.

It just seems like when you become a stay at home mom and don't earn an income you become less than, not equal, and nothing is truly yours because you didn't earn it. Just because we are at home doesn't mean we don't work, we just don't get paid for it.

u just need 2 get a job 2 add value 2 ur family. Sitting @ home ll make u rusty. Bothering him 4 money 4 ur personal things isn't OK.

Joavid:


No one begged you to be a mum.

No one said being a mum would be easy.

We have working mum's everywhere.

If you're waiting for your hubby to give you credit for being a mum, you might not get it.


ok, maybe you're not feeling appreciated, I'm sorry about that. you can discuss your feelings with him.

That's the most insensitive thing I've heard anyone say.
"No body begged you to be a husband, no body begged you to be a father so stop complaining about money!" now how does that sound?

You can also make your own money even at home

ma'am,u've been given enough advice nd creative ways u could earn extra cash to support your hubby already.pls u don't have to start thinking other wise about reasons why your husband started acting d way he does.cos i know hw d female mind works.d economy is nt smilling on anyone at d moment not even d rich.they're even trying to curtail thier mode of spending this dayz.so jst choose a more reasonable path through which u can assist ur husband,cos its rilly not funny anymore.and for me i feel u shuld take d option of organizing a post school lesson for d pupils around ur environs,it will balance up ur home chores ur son nd consequently give u time to rest aswell....jst try to understand d rationale behind ur husbands recent act.no man is happy when he's working nd not seeing d achievements he thinks he shuld hav gotten at a particular time frame.God bless ur home ma'am.