essti:
Even to try for another kid seems hopeless cos his never around,his own to just to drop money for upkip and vanishes into thin air till his ready to come home. Once it is 7pm and I try reaching him he doesn't pick and wen I ask why he says the fone was on silence and didn't hear it ring.am almost a 100% certain his keeping an affair outside, wen I tell him that he says am getting myself worked up over nothing.and many other things I havnt said. Wen he sleeps out he doesn't come till same 11pm the next day.Am honestly tired

essti:
Nairalanders pls constructive suggestions

These days my marriage is no longer a happy one,I often feel like walking out of it.it doesn't feel like a marriage again,I hardly see my husband even on weekends. He goes to work as early as 5am and doesn't return till 11pm minimum. He claims he has too many responsibility and his the one in charge of the whole office,that after normal closing time,wen everybody has left the office ,thats the time he has to put things in order. Even on Saturdays attimes he goes to work and still returns 11pm minimum.
Have been suspecting his keeping extra marital affair outside but he keeps denying it,his phones are always locked, his been very secretive for a while,even wen I try to confront him on certain things he lies about it or doesn't respond,he just says he will change but the change is never positive
Sometimes towards d end of last year, he started keeping night out,wen his not back by 11.30 I will try to call but he wud never answer,then he wud send a text that something came up and he won't be returning that night,immediately d text is entering I will try to call him but the fone will then be switched off, it kept happening like once every week ,attims 2times in a week,then the following morning he wud b d one to call me and ask how am doing, wen I ask why he didn't return he wud say he met up with some friends n didn't know time had gone far and decided to spend the night at his friends place it kept getting bad so I reported the issue to his parents,they talked to him but he kept doi g his thing
I pleaded with him that I dont like his coming back late, he changed for a while but wud always return after 11
Fine he takes care of us but we hardly see him,there r times that for one gud week my baby wudnot see him,he claims his a young man and has to network to make this money,which I agree but once in a while he sud be available but no cos his never available,even d Sundays he manages to stay home he wud leave to go to d bustop n stay there till we have slept,I really do not know what's happening or how to get him back to himself

eyinjuege:
He probably has another family and child/children outside.

I've come across a young man in his thirties practicing bigamy,living in Lagos.

He has got two wives without the other knowing, and both living in the same town.

The excuse was he has a job in PH on the weeks he's away from each one.
A young man o. One of the women is a banker, and both have children for him.

baby124:

Wow, i wonder why some people live secret lives. It Takes too much plotting and planning and it never ends well. These kind of people that do things like this have really big problems. Why deceive these women into a situation they did not ask for. That young man has some serious mental problems.

essti:
Nairalanders pls constructive suggestions

These days my marriage is no longer a happy one,I often feel like walking out of it.it doesn't feel like a marriage again,I hardly see my husband even on weekends. He goes to work as early as 5am and doesn't return till 11pm minimum. He claims he has too many responsibility and his the one in charge of the whole office,that after normal closing time,wen everybody has left the office ,thats the time he has to put things in order. Even on Saturdays attimes he goes to work and still returns 11pm minimum.
Have been suspecting his keeping extra marital affair outside but he keeps denying it,his phones are always locked, his been very secretive for a while,even wen I try to confront him on certain things he lies about it or doesn't respond,he just says he will change but the change is never positive
Sometimes towards d end of last year, he started keeping night out,wen his not back by 11.30 I will try to call but he wud never answer,then he wud send a text that something came up and he won't be returning that night,immediately d text is entering I will try to call him but the fone will then be switched off, it kept happening like once every week ,attims 2times in a week,then the following morning he wud b d one to call me and ask how am doing, wen I ask why he didn't return he wud say he met up with some friends n didn't know time had gone far and decided to spend the night at his friends place it kept getting bad so I reported the issue to his parents,they talked to him but he kept doi g his thing
I pleaded with him that I dont like his coming back late, he changed for a while but wud always return after 11
Fine he takes care of us but we hardly see him,there r times that for one gud week my baby wudnot see him,he claims his a young man and has to network to make this money,which I agree but once in a while he sud be available but no cos his never available,even d Sundays he manages to stay home he wud leave to go to d bustop n stay there till we have slept,I really do not know what's happening or how to get him back to himself

essti:
While we were still dating,he wasn't anytin near this,at most 7 his already home,all this started just last year, wen he became fully mobile.
I don't mean to brag but am one of the easiest person anyone can live with,attimes I feel am too quiet,cos there are some family stuffs I know has happens else where and the way the wife reacted compared to how it happened in my own home.
Its a government job o,his like,sud I say holds a high position.
I agree wen am angry i cud say some offensive words, but his always d cause of my anger ,it's situations like this that gets me angry and wen I confront him he lies about it

eyinjuege:


True, crazy.

But the truth will always come out. It's just a matter of time.
This particular young man hardly contributes anything to the upkeep of his main family sef. The second woman too seems to be apparently comfortable, cos I don't see him contributing Jack for any child's upkeep. Highly irresponsible.

ajigiteri:
I understand how you feel madam. Firstly my prayer is that God will restore your husband from every Delilah out there. I am talking to you from a godly and Christian perspective, I want to say this that the situation is not beyond God but you need to qualify to a level where you can enjoy God. Pls your responds to the following questions will go a long way in finding solution to your problem. Are u born again, is your husband a Christian, did you seek God's face before going into the marriage, since when have you been experiencing this problem, have you prayed about it, was your husband faithful during your courtship. God will rescue you and restore your home. Waiting on your response.

ihejimagha:
Prayer is the key, and work on yourself. Sit him down and talk to him, communication is the key to a healthy relationship. Stop complaining and take ur situation to God will clean heart, God will hear ur prayer and return ur man to u. Make sure u hv not changed frm who u used to be be4 and after he married u. Look a ur self and know if u re lacking in anything. Ur dressing, ur cooking, neatness, the way u talk to him, pls kindly work on ur self. Look good for him and he won't look outside by God's grace

baby124:
Na wa o. Some people marry ebora and anjonu. Op, I don't know what to tell you. But protect yourself sexually and insist on a condom for a while. Also be sure to tell his parents what is going on. It seems like he is having a full blown affair.

Maybe you should pay him a visit one night he claims he is working late. Just drop by with food, if it's safe for you to go there in the evening or at night. If it's not, have someone else who you trust go there and ask the gateman if he is at work. If you find out it's a lie then you have confirmation. Though the one where he sleeps outside one or two times a week is a big sign.

Don't even bother about another child for now. Let your marriage be at a place where it is conducive to bring in another child. If this man ends up dumping you, do you really want to be responsible for 2kids by yourself?

Do your investigation, keep your evidence to yourself and call a meeting with your parents, his parents and him to resolve all these issues you have. At that meeting bring out all your evidence. Even to the girls name and location if possible. I advise you to work fast and protect yourself first. He is selfish enough to cheat, you better be selfish about your life, your health and your future till things get resolved. As one of the conditions for resolving issues, ask for a full STD test and another 6months after. Also insist that he run a yearly STD test going forward till you see a genuine change.