A Kansas (USA) based chiropractor, Dr. Daniel Dopps, has invested a ‘feminine lipstick’ that seals together the labia minora to hold in period blood.

The labia minora, also known as the inner labia, inner lips, vaginal lips or nymphae, are two flaps of skin on either side of the human vaginal, opening in the vulva.

The inventor calls his device Mensez.

Explaining how the device works, Dopps describes it as “An adhesive ‘lipstick’ that is applied to a woman’s lady parts to block their menstruation. And it comes undone when the woman urinates.”

Writing on his LinkedIn profile, Dopps states, “Mensez feminine lipstick is a natural patented compound of amino acids and oil in a lipstick applicator that is applied to the labia minora and causes them to cling together in a manner strong enough to retain menstrual fluid in the vestibule above the labia minora where the vaginal opening and urethra exit.

“The Mensez compound is instantly washed away with urine, which releases the menstrual fluid along with the urine into the toilet every time a woman urinates. No pads or tampons are needed. Safe, secure and clean.”

The application causes the lady parts to stick together, and strong enough to prevent leakage until the user urinates.

The urine instantly unsticks the labia and allows everything to wash out into the toilet.

Meanwhile, the invention has attracted acerbic reactions from females the world over:

Vicki Cupper
Administrative Assistant at Wentworth Institute of Technology
Did you skip class the day they taught female reproductive anatomy?

Devika Khandeparkar
IT Application Specialist at Symantec
Dude! Really? I am simply speechless. Please do a study of female anatomy and then invent something worth our use!

Natalie Stockard
So much FAIL.

Lisa Sokol
Legal Practice Assistant at King & Spalding LLP
Wow. Does this man even have the beginnings of an idea/clue of female anatomy? Based on this “product” of his and his comments, I would have to say absolutely not! MR. Dopps, might I suggest that just because YOU find a woman’s menstrual cycle to be “gross, crusty, smelly and incredibly awful” (your words, not mine), this cycle is a part of every woman’s life …

Annah Hinman
This has to be fake. So, to stop a period you glue yourself shut? Did this guy get his doctorate from the internets??

Robin Kleeman
Manager of Sales Operations at Cherwell Software
Three men liked this post. I can’t right now.

Richard Webb
Seasoned Software Testing and QA Professional
Even as a male, I’m speechless this is on LinkedIn and not on The Onion. Why do men think they are qualified to solve such problems?

Christina Gyimesi
Cosmetic Industry Professional and Freelance Makeup Artist
So…have you ever heard of Toxic Shock Syndrome….or what? Have you considered that particularly heavier flow days would just dissolve that adhesive with the first sneeze, or just the act of standing upright after sitting/lying down? Also on the topic of heavier flow days, would it just trickle out from the behind, or would I need to glue the entire line from my crotch..

Vicki Cupper
Administrative Assistant at Wentworth Institute of Technology
Congratulations! You are officially more qualified to be a doctor than he is.

Starmeshia Jones
School Psychologist at Indianapolis Public Schools
There’s so much wrong with this Dan. I think you missed or completely flunked out of anatomy class or you confused archaic 19th century anatomy with up to date information. Please do us all a favor and stick to your day job. I also find it funny how in your response (which was unnecessarily defensive) to this ridiculous product you call menstruation ‘gross’ etc., this speak…

Amber Ripp Smith
EMT
I read an article about this product ‘shared’ on FB. I didn’t believe it could be real. I legit though it was an “Onion” article or something. Wow. I just can’t even. And your comments about women being “distracted” 1/4 of the time, whoa there buddy. Do you think I’m ‘distracted’ now? Because I’ve had a hysterectomy, so therefore I’m “immune” to this distraction plaguing ot…

Laura Curley
Web Application Developer at PIX System
Can I use this to glue my husband’s equipment to his leg for instant (alternative) birth control! It’s obvious that this will work, but would you do the honors of being my first test subject so we have a study to show to the naysayers? Fox News is already interested in announcing my findings. Let’s get it glued down before word gets out!

Meredith Lindsey
Actor (SAG/AFTRA)
So can I use this if I got into pre-term labor in place of a cervical cerclage? I mean, I have played a doctor and a nurse multiple times on TV, so I guess I am as qualified if not more so than you to make that call. Please stick to cracking necks and leave our vulvas be. KTHX.

SINZ:
Its useless. When the ovaries break, the blood has to flow. If it doesn't then it simply stays inside and congeals. Dafuq was the doc thinking?

If its mild enough to be washed away by urine then what would happen if, say, the user is on a motorbike? Surely the vibration from the engine will undo the adhesive! This dude actually skipped biology class

ikp120:


Bro wetin you dey talk sef? The blood wey dey your veins ever don congeal?

You need to understand that there are certain conditions under which blood in the body CANNOT congeal. I think you need to go and study how the human body works bro.

There are some adhesives that liquid can weak but pressure or vibrations cannot weaken. There are so many things in these dudes labs that even some professors in Nigeria go open mouth when they hear about them.

Also note that all those things you mentioned were taken into cognisance while working on that shiit.

SINZ:


For the singular fact that you think menstrual blood comes from the veins, I won't argue with you.

QueenSuccubus:


Imagining myself sealing my PHAT HU-HA while it's bleeding plus not to mention the menstrual cramps I feel that time is juz a total mess..


Naaaah, I juz can't do it..