simiolu1:
Op, I admire your strength; these type of questions are not easy for people to answer as it makes you see life and marriage from another point of view.

I am SC (a rare mutation of the SS genotype) and I used to have episodes a lot. Got addicted to pain killers at some point but stopped because I had ulcer (I no wan die as a small boy na). I used to be secretive about my condition but I told the girl I was dating then in school. I remember one night; I couldn't sleep because my spine was aching. She called me because of Xtracool but ended up singing to me for close to one hour (she had a damned good voice). That is the only time in my adult life that I ever cried to a gf. The pain, the songs and the love just made me loose it. She woke up her mum to pray for me too. Interesting thing is my elder brother left the mattress for me to sleep on the floor because I was just writhing in pain and disturbing his sleep.

After that episode, I made up my mind never to tell or call her during another episode. It wasn't just fair mehn. So right now before things get serious between any lady and I; I ask for their genotype and talk about my medical history too. Most don't know about the existence of SC or even AC so I just go ahead and give them the lecture.

However, I can't marry someone with a terminal illness or HIV; but if the illness starts after we get married, we'll face it together (though I pray this doesn't happen). I also can't marry someone who is not AA. I'm not going to inflict the pain of being SC on any of my offspring.

Thanks for sharing your experience. How are you coping presently? Did you go for surgery? How did you suppress the urge for painkillers when experiencing excruciating pains? At any point did you see your girlfriend more like a sister or perhaps a relative? At any point can you possibly say she was showing more of pity than love?
It is natural to part ways with your girlfriend...are you in a new relationship? If yes, how do you compare with your past one? If No...can I know why?...I will love to hear from you again. Warm regards.

Modified

Is your condition cost intensive? If yes does it weigh you down? Do you often get depressed? If yes, how are you handling it? I hope you don't find the questions annoying. Please feel free to decline any question you do not want to answer. I will love a lengthy response. Please make it long and include all the trivial details.

Marxxx:
Hello, it is my pleasure to make ur acquaintance. I am fine. I trust you are? Take care

Good to hear from you

Marxxx:
My friend!!! I can barely read your post...how are you? I trust you are good? I am having the best and the worst of times. I am quite glad you still keep in touch, quite thoughtful of you. How is your programme? Academics? Work? I am probably guessing I have lost touch with some of the things you preoccupied yourself with...pardon my ignorance if I don't recall some important things about you.
I am old now hence I may not be swift to reply ur posts but I will read as many as I find interesting. Take care dearest...

Jashar who won the 2016 NL ladies contest?

Darling Marxxx... So good to hear from you...How's your treatment? Your sis and niece nko?
I'm good oooo... I'm rounding up from school... Writing my project (I'm stuck though), so I'm grateful for the ASUU strike . I'm starting a new place of work tomorrow.... Wish me well

I sure would like to talk with you sometime soon...

Ah...me no dey follow NL contests oooo....

Take care sweetie....

Marxxx:
Have you loved someone so much but you can't just take things further because they are sick? Some people look at HIV and Genotype. Can you marry a sick person? Like someone suffering from asthma or cancer or diabetes? What are those sickness that you may notice in your partner and call it quits? In one of my group counselling sessions, the counsellor told us that he once told a man not to marry an As lady because he was also As...he said "if you go on with that, you may end up in perpetual agony". For people who are sick how do you cope with love? Rejections? and the worst of it all pity? If you had been in a relationship with a sick person can you share your experience? Did you tie the knots? How did you finally break up without your partner losing it?

hiv, genotype and hepatitis

jashar:


Darling Marxxx... So good to hear from you...How's your treatment? Your sis and niece nko?
I'm good oooo... I'm rounding up from school... Writing my project (I'm stuck though), so I'm grateful for the ASUU strike . I'm starting a new place of work tomorrow.... Wish me well

I sure would like to talk with you sometime soon...

Ah...me no dey follow NL contests oooo....

Take care sweetie....

Everyone is doing just fine and I am not doing badly myself...lol @ "stuck on project"...congrats on your new job. I wish you success.

mamziii:
hiv, genotype and hepatitis

ok...

Hello Marxxx, its really nice to know your are winning here...well done. May God continue to strengthen you.

sisisioge:
Hello Marxxx, its really nice to know your are winning here...well done. May God continue to strengthen you.

Thank you for the kind words. I trust you had a great weekend. Take care...

Simiolu1, I have posted myriad number of questions for you. I trust you will do justice to it. I am looking forward to reading your lengthy responses to those questions.

Marxxx:
Simiolu1, I have posted myriad number of questions for you. I trust you will do justice to it. I am looking forward to reading your lengthy responses to those questions.

I think I might just disappoint you by making this short

Marxxx:
Thanks for sharing your experience.
How are you coping presently?

Did you go for surgery?

How did you suppress the urge for painkillers when experiencing excruciating pains?

At any point did you see your girlfriend more like a sister or perhaps a relative? At any point can you possibly say she was showing more of pity than love?

It is natural to part ways with your girlfriend... are you in a new relationship? If yes, how do you compare with your past one? If No...can I know why?

...I will love to hear from you again. Warm regards.

Modified

Is your condition cost intensive?

If yes does it weigh you down? Do you often get depressed? If yes, how are you handling it? I hope you don't find the questions annoying. Please feel free to decline any question you do not want to answer. I will love a lengthy response. Please make it long and include all the trivial details.

1. I am doing just fine. My last episode was over 2 years ago. I guess the pains just upped and left. I'm a Christian so allow me to call it a miracle because I can't really say the particular thing I did to make the episodes stop. People ask me and when I tell them, they give me this "yeah right" look because they feel I don't want to let them in on the "secret".

But what I have realised over time is that my bones do not like cold weather. So now, I am very mindful of the environment I sleep in or spend a substantial amount of time in. Then I also watch out for warning signs my bones give when they are about to fail me. There is this mild vibration I experience in my bones anytime an episode is knocking. Once I notice it, I try my possible best to make sure that particular bone remains in a rested position for a long period of time and I also make sure I don't perform some Jackie Chan moves during that time. I once experienced this mild vibration; ignored it and went playing football. I spent the next 3 days writhing in pains in my room.

2. Nope.

3. This was the hardest. I remember an episode in which my spine was aching. Sent a friend to get me drugs. I thought he bought 50mg Ibruprofen and another pain killer athletes use. I popped 2 Ibruprofen + the other pain killer immediately. Popped another combo at night then another the following morning. By noon; the pains were gone. A friend came visiting and tapped my legs thinking that was where the pain was coming from; only for me to notice that I could not feel them. A quick body rub revealed that I could not feel anything at all. I called my neighbour, a Medical Lab Science student and told him what was happening. He picked up the drugs only to tell me that I had consumed over 400 grams of pain killers in less than 24 hours. After that, I needed no prophet to tell me that overdose is real. And when the ulcer kicked in too; I knew I just had to adhere to the Doctor's or Pharmacist prescription.

4. In my short lifetime, I have carried burdens few can imagine which have "toughened me". My childhood was not a traumatic one too. Bottom line: I hate pity with passion. So I have never allowed anyone express it to me more than once. You can feel it, but once you express it the first time; I tell you straight up not to express it again. Pity is not allowed! A girlfriend can dote on me, care for me, behave like my mum, sister, next of kin and do every other thing girlfriends do. But pity; over my dead body!

5. Nope. I have had girlfriends after the girl I wrote about but I'm presently single. And my marital or relationship status is the result of a lot of things, but it is not related to any health challenge.

No two relationships are the same. As people grow older, they tend to grow wiser too. Also, no two people are the same. So as a general rule, I don't compare between people. I know the relationships that were good and those that were bad. I do not regret any because they have all taught me valuable lessons. Some of my ex-girlfriends are still close to me too. One called me two days ago and bluntly asked when I was going to get married. She even jokingly told me that if we were still dating, I would have officially brought my family for our introduction. But seriously, I need to start searching...

Modified

6. It was. But the odd thing was that I always had money to take of myself whenever crisis struck. I used to joke with my friends that it seemed the episodes knew my financial status before showing up. Now I hope you know that cost is relative. What is costly to Mr. A might be cheap to Mr. B. Guess what I'm trying to say is that it was expensive for me as a student.

7. I've battled depression once in my lifetime but it was not related to health issues. I usually talk myself out of depression. Its too expensive; I can't afford it.

Hope I answered your questions satisfactorily? Do take care of yourself.

Wouldn't have been able to marry someone with some terminal illnesses like AIDS, Cancer and maybe more... Also cant marry someone with mental challenges
Would have been able to marry SS (Yes will manage somehow) used to have exceptional empathy and love for them, HIV, Asthma