baby124:
Kids learn faster with their peers. Nanny or grandma does not help them very much. You need to have a serious discussion with your husband to understand why he insists on nanny. Is it the cost? You can do nanny some days and crèche some days. Table all your concerns about nanny and the way he talks. If he refuses to listen, you can take it to a family member that he respects. He needs a mentor seriously in marriage, what he says is wrong. He doesn't have a good idea of marriage. I don't know how a family man can talk so loosely and disrespectfully about his wife to strangers. Also look for a job fast, goodluck.

MosakuAW:
People fails to know that emotional "beating" is worst than phyical beating. With the physical beating, people will notice it on you and advice you to moved on before he kills you but emotional beating will never shows but you die silently and keep hoping he will change but he keeps getting worse.

I will advice you to seat him down and confront him with the words he says to you and say in public in your presence about sending his wife out if he misbehaves.If what you have done is not adultery, no MAN has any right to send a woman packing. Even the bible says, if you caught your wife or hubby with adultery, if you can forgive, forgive and move on with him.

Next time he says or joke about such things again also joke and say that, if he send you packing you will leave with the kids and he will never see them again. If he is a man that so much loves his kids, you see that he will stop saying such to you.

This words are emotionally tortured which can kill silently. That means only one person has a right in the marriage. African culture is still backward.

Imagine a Man impregnated a woman outside and he brought in the woman home and tell his family to beg his wife that he has wrong her and the wife agrees and move on. Can such things happen to a woman who got impregnated outside and comes home with it and her family to beg the husband to accept the situation like that "Hell No" no MAN will accept such. That is the society will leaves in.

Please free yourself from emotional troubles before he locks you in forever and throw away the keys. As for the Nanny stuff, forget it and tell him to raise you money and start a biz that will give you time for your kids. Nothing like mother's care in life.

carmag:


how can your post be longer than the thread

.

carmag:

how can your post be longer than the thread
.ayam not understanding
.

sisisioge:
When a woman doesnt make her own money, a man always find a way to disrespect her no matter how nice they are to each other.

First step is to really get the kids out of your hair so you could find a job...No matter how small. Then always laugh or smirk when he says it. You too conversationally speaking drop the "A man that dares throws his wife out should be ready to be embarrassed legally too o, not because she wants back but because she wanna kick back too" gist. Don't say it like it's meant for him, say it like it's your opinion...your belief.

Continue to live with him without allowing your affection to dwindle but empower yourself in the process. No one threatens an empowered woman with destitution. Everyone is aware that the number one fear of a married woman is "where will I go to?". Now, a woman with substance doesn't fear that one bit!

SafeDavid:
My friends dad always said that. to his mom and that only stopped when she acquired her own. .property

susanjohn:


Thanks. before now I use to dislike women who buy properties secretly. but now I see reasons with them.
I used to think it was all a joke but yesterday I saw the seriousness in his eyes.

susanjohn:


Thanks. before now I use to dislike women who buy properties secretly. but now I see reasons with them.
I used to think it was all a joke but yesterday I saw the seriousness in his eyes.

InformedLola:
Madam, are you guys legally married? If you are, then sit that man's aas down and let him know his threat does not hold water.

Also speed up your search for a nanny and get a job ASAP. In fact don't wait to get a job, look for a business to do that can put some money, no matter how small, into your pocket, so you don't keep relying on him for some little personal needs.

susanjohn:
Married men do you always threaten your wife.
Married women how would you feel if hubby uses these words.

Anytime he sees a couple have issues or fight. Or there is a discussion The next thing he says is if my wife tries this I will send her packing. He says it even in front of friends. I feel bad with those choice of words.

Yesterday he said same when we discussed issues of disobedience from a wife and I jokingly asked him if that is a threat, he said no, a fact.
Its becoming too much.

I'm thinking about talking to my mum about it.
I'm not a disobedient wife and I've never insulted him except when he insults me. I had to learn that because I was hurting.

I've always loved my husband but words spoken like this make me start thinking otherwise.

I don't have a job now (lost it) and he insists that till I get a nanny (not been able to get a good one) before I can go searching.

Doesn't want his kids in a daycare/creche which I've been obeying that and being idle.

I think a good marriage is a union where both parties think about making it work all the time. I built my mind on the premise that nothing can dissolve us except physical violence which I know he's my capable of doing. Now I feel bruised and broken that he would even give it a thought to THROW ME OUT

Now I know why some women don't disclose money and acquire properties secretly cos some men aren't to be trusted.

MosakuAW:
People fails to know that emotional "beating" is worst than phyical beating. With the physical beating, people will notice it on you and advice you to moved on before he kills you but emotional beating will never shows but you die silently and keep hoping he will change but he keeps getting worse.

I will advice you to seat him down and confront him with the words he says to you and say in public in your presence about sending his wife out if he misbehaves.If what you have done is not adultery, no MAN has any right to send a woman packing. Even the bible says, if you caught your wife or hubby with adultery, if you can forgive, forgive and move on with him.

Next time he says or joke about such things again also joke and say that, if he send you packing you will leave with the kids and he will never see them again. If he is a man that so much loves his kids, you see that he will stop saying such to you.

This words are emotionally tortured which can kill silently. That means only one person has a right in the marriage. African culture is still backward.

Imagine a Man impregnated a woman outside and he brought in the woman home and tell his family to beg his wife that he has wrong her and the wife agrees and move on. Can such things happen to a woman who got impregnated outside and comes home with it and her family to beg the husband to accept the situation like that "Hell No" no MAN will accept such. That is the society will leaves in.

Please free yourself from emotional troubles before he locks you in forever and throw away the keys. As for the Nanny stuff, forget it and tell him to raise you money and start a biz that will give you time for your kids. Nothing like mother's care in life.

Richy4:


You sound like he is way way older than you hence your fear to tell him how he was hurting you emotionally....Or maybe you married a military man that knows nothing but order and discipline....I think you want your marriage to work but you are not doing so well in terms of communication...
I am just wondering why you shiver in front of him..Incase you don't know, A husband is supposed to be your best friend first before he became a husband {or maybe I was mistaken because some people were forced to marry} But If you are afraid to talk to him as a best friend, I 'm just wondering how you will make it on that long journey called marriage....You did not even sound like you have spoken to him...hence the joke talk....If you bottle all your emotions, One day you might break down and do something nasty....

Do not be scared for that talk to turn to a quarrel.. because some guys listens out of a shouting match...but please know your limits and the limits your guy can swallow...

baby124:

She married an immature man who fails time and again to protect the dignity of his wife and family. He obviously lacks a good example of a good marriage in his own life. This is the reason one should study a potential spouse's parents marriage or relationship if the parents are divorced. It could also be that he says those things to win points with his equally useless friends. When one has to impress friends by saying and doing things that are wrong. The person needs to reevaluate themselves and that friendship.

baby124:

She married an immature man who fails time and again to protect the dignity of his wife and family. He obviously lacks a good example of a good marriage in his own life. This is the reason one should study a potential spouse's parents marriage or relationship if the parents are divorced. It could also be that he says those things to win points with his equally useless friends. When one has to impress friends by saying and doing things that are wrong. The person needs to reevaluate themselves and that friendship.

pcguru1:
Am curious but where do you ladies meet these kinda men ? I know very good men and sometimes it baffles me when i read stuff like this on Family section. I remember one radio segment with jumoke on my way from way, and I pretty much agree, women need to have their own properties and all especially for men like this. pele dear

MosakuAW:
People fails to know that emotional "beating" is worst than phyical beating. With the physical beating, people will notice it on you and advice you to moved on before he kills you but emotional beating will never shows but you die silently and keep hoping he will change but he keeps getting worse.

I will advice you to seat him down and confront him with the words he says to you and say in public in your presence about sending his wife out if he misbehaves.If what you have done is not adultery, no MAN has any right to send a woman packing. Even the bible says, if you caught your wife or hubby with adultery, if you can forgive, forgive and move on with him.

Next time he says or joke about such things again also joke and say that, if he send you packing you will leave with the kids and he will never see them again. If he is a man that so much loves his kids, you see that he will stop saying such to you.

This words are emotionally tortured which can kill silently. That means only one person has a right in the marriage. African culture is still backward.

Imagine a Man impregnated a woman outside and he brought in the woman home and tell his family to beg his wife that he has wrong her and the wife agrees and move on. Can such things happen to a woman who got impregnated outside and comes home with it and her family to beg the husband to accept the situation like that "Hell No" no MAN will accept such. That is the society will leaves in.

Please free yourself from emotional troubles before he locks you in forever and throw away the keys. As for the Nanny stuff, forget it and tell him to raise you money and start a biz that will give you time for your kids. Nothing like mother's care in life.