JeffreyJamez:
This is simple... I'm sure you have your own "craze"..since you have talked to him about it and he has refused to listen, show him that small "craze" ..if he shouts at you, shout at him back... He go calm down!

Laveda:


I tell you, sometimes when you're too 'soft' for a man he treats you like trash.

Imagine shouting for her in public, she should look for a way to go about it if she has talked to him privately.

mysticgal:
I know we are not supposed to wash dirty linens outside. But this happened with my mum and she shouted back. Like I remember her saying "orrrr, are you OK? Don't ever shout at me again" and even if my dad is mad, he would never do such.
I don't know if it's the right to do but I'd do the same thing my mum did. Besides you should know your husband and how he takes correction, and It's not right to scold you in public.
All the best....

thewife306:

thanks

oatzeal:
If you check well, the level of assignment or job he s doing has increased. He has many more thing bothering him now.

Don't shout at him back, don't try to comment or correct him every time anymore.

Do it wen he s much relax. He is not doing all those things intentionally. He still loves you.

Manage him. Women are meant to be manager of their homes.
MANAGE HIM. Its your role.

thewife306:


If you say he isnt doing it intentionally, how about saying "i dont like hiding my feelings" and refusing to apologize.

thewife306:


If you say he isnt doing it intentionally, how about saying "i dont like hiding my feelings" and refusing to apologize.

oatzeal:
I have heard my mother and other mothers saying things like : OUR DADDY WILL NOT LIKE IT...

GET TO KNOW THOSE THINGS...

I feel you have not done your assignment. DONT COMPARE YOUR MARRIAGE TO YOUR FRIEND'S MARRIAGE, OR TO WHAT YOU SEE ON TV.

oatzeal:
I have heard my mother and other mothers saying things like : OUR DADDY WILL NOT LIKE IT...

GET TO KNOW THOSE THINGS...

I feel you have not done your assignment. DONT COMPARE YOUR MARRIAGE TO YOUR FRIEND'S MARRIAGE, OR TO WHAT YOU SEE ON TV.

Richy4:
[b]Two wrongs can never make a right dear OP.... I suggest you table it to him nicely again the way you said it here

Let him know how it was affecting you negatively,...... Ask him how he will feel if you loose your self respect outside.....Ask him how he will feel if a total stranger, a male to be précised starts yelling at you; say in a function over a minor mistake or issue......If he says he will feel bad, then let him know that he is giving them the license the way he was acting in public...Tell him that you did not ask him not to yell.. but yelling between spouses is like sex, It's not done in public....If he treats you like a door mat with welcome written allover it, then that means it is ok for anyone to say or do as they pleases....

Again try and find out if something is eating him up....It could be work related or fatherhood is catching up on him or finance etc...

I did not want to ask this question but how long did you court this man?....You can't tell me you did not see any sign or you chose to ignore it..
He says he does not like to hide his feelings but obviously you must have seen a little sign and did not act on it fast enough.... But hey, there are good actors out there when it comes to a relationship, if there was no sigh, then he was very good...[/b].

thewife306:


thank you sir

RadicallyBlunt:
Op be cautious of the way you follow the advises above me o. You just said ur hubby wasn't like this before but now he's showing his color at d slightest provocation. Who knows...you may think taking the above steps will calm him down but turn out to make things worse and these so called advicers would not be there to help your marriage. A man with a child can still remarry o but an after-one woman may find it difficult.

Even if you're young blooded with radicality i still advice you to use a better approach not because ur husband is d head blabla but because you dont want to go thru a long marriage palava so early in life. Because if he takes d matter to his family he will not say he started it first. And your own family have received your total bride price...eaten it sef. So

Calm your anger, talk to him heart-to-heart first, if that doesnt work, you can talk to your pastor or snr in-laws that have good sense of reasoning too...this is essential. Let them know you told them first so that when you take action, it will have deep effect and impression. Don't be deceived with the "no 3rd party" advice for new couples. There are some things you may actually need some one for. what matters is the kinda 3rd person you involve and of course not always.

Besides what you're going thru is normal in the first 1-2yrs of marriage. Both of you will stabilize soon

oatzeal:


There are different kinds of people, when you compare Mr A to B , you will miss it.

Just like I said earlier. May be he has more things bothering his mind now.

MAY BE.

I don't know ur husband, but am like dat.

Wen i have deadline for something, late for work... I can't give anybody 1sec to waste . I naturally become more aggressive. I can shout at anybody.



Immediately, am done, get to my destination. I can play and smile with anyone. Just the opposite.


Then I hate rhetorical questions.

Now, its not 24/7 your husband shouts at you, at least you still do have time for romance. Use style to talk to him,
Get to know him more.

I believe he loves you

thewife306:



You must be a selfish person.How about after you must have met your deadline, you lose your loved ones. See who's talking about doing assignment. You think life is all about you

True talk @bolded.

Lord knows I don't like people who like shouting. I do see them as people with mental issues(no offense to Your husband).

I don't think You screaming back at him will solve/change anything. Like someone rightly said above; talk to him when he's in a good mood. Pour Your mind out to him. Let him know he's seriously hurting You.

Also pray, no harm in asking for God's intervention.
All the best.

thewife306:


Thank you. i really do not want to retaliate as 2 wrongs dont make a right but my kind of person. wen someone intentionally hurts me i try to avoid the person and grow cold. but in this case its my husband. and i know its affecting my feelings towards him

RadicallyBlunt:

I understand how you feel. Have you talked to him about it recently?

thewife306:


I have. he doesnt seem bothered.Keeps saying he doesnt hide his feelings. Dats why i made this post.

thewife306:



You must be a selfish person. How about after you must have met your deadline, you lose your loved ones. See who's talking about doing assignment. You think life is all about you

Ishilove:

I noticed his comments but I didn't want to comment. Very one sided and unrealistic.

I'm not married so I don't know how will I react in the situations you've described.

However, this is how my mum will react: she will NOT shout back at him when he is misbehaving. She will rather wait until they're alone then bring the roof down, shake the whole building and tear the entire house to pieces.

It is wrong and very disrespectful of your hubby, and I will suggest that you talk to him when he is calm, describe what you're feeling and seriously warn him of dire consequences if he continues disrespecting you publicly.

The bible exhorts us women be submissive to our husbands, but it also asks the husbands to treat their wives with respect. Something your hubby is not doing.

I wish you the best and hope you sort it out.