This topic is something I really want to talk about, because it is something I see every day, in public places, some homes I visited and so on.

It is becoming a norm in today's marriages where you see a man, a grown man, husband of the house, doing dishes in the kitchen, while the wife goes to make her hair or something!

We tend to like to copy everything the 'white man' does wrongly, because not everything that applies to them (over there) that applies here.

I have been to a neighbor's house in the past (they just moved in), so I decided to say hello properly as a Nigerian, before they will say I didn't welcome them well or don't like their presence.

So I rang the door bell, and the man, the husband of the house answered the door, he smiled and ushered me in.

I made myself comfortable in their sitting room, while he disappeared into one of the rooms, I sat there thinking he went to inform his wife of my presence, but he came back to the sitting room alone, obviously dressed more appropriate, as I met him in work clothes.

When I didn't see his wife, who looked almost his age, I asked him; what of madam? he said she had gone to the salon to have her hair done.

I also asked after their 2 year old son, he said he was sleeping. I took a deep breath and smiled, he felt a bit uncomfortable with the look on his face.

He offered me a drink which I declined because, as madam nor dey, I nor fit shout!

After a bit of conversation about work, Lagos traffic and all that, he excused himself and said he needed to get back to work, (he still had laundry to do and the bathroom to clean!), I almost froze with shock!

How can a woman leave all the house chores to her man to do? Is it normal for a good marriage? Was it an agreement?

These were all the questions running through my mind as I called out to him that I was leaving because I had a meeting to attend.

Leaving your husband/man to do the house chores automatically makes you the boss, yes! and if there is anything that wrecks marriages, it is the woman playing the man while the man plays the woman.

You might think the man loves you so much to want to do all the dirty jobs, no, he is only trying so hard to please you because you are obviously calling the shots!

I know some women hate men who do house chores, I am one of them. A survey reveals that most men who do house chores are lazy men, they would rather do house chores than go out there and fend for their families!

I don't understand why some men enjoy being called the 'nice' guy, when at the end of the day they end up hurting themselves and the ones they're trying to please.

Know your place as a man, and know your place as a woman, it is a 2 way traffic thingy.

like I always say, I am not a relationship expert, but these are little things I see every day that makes me want to talk about them.

I have seen a husband, shopping in the open market while the wife sits in the car with the kids, not that she is pregnant or something. I don't know their reason for that but I thought it was kind of weird.

At this point, I remember my maternal uncle, who wanted play 'oyinbo' husband by going straight to the kitchen as soon as he jumps out of the car from work, lol.

Then I always wondered if he would maintain it, but no he didn't because, it wasn't quite long before his friends started 'yabbing' him, he then stopped even his wife didn't find it funny.

When Noble Igwe made the statement about 'wife not cook,' he did not impress a lot of people because, women are meant for the kitchen!

Source: http://www.chichiuncensored.com/husband-or-house-help/

Thats karma 4 mumu boys.


Im not saying dont help in d house but der has to be a limit, if not we get a maid. E.O.D

Africa jazz is involve

Nothing wrong if the man helps out in the house when he has the time. Neither the woman is a househelp.


I could also tell you endless stories of 80% of Nigerian homes where women are worse than househelps and a man will never lend a helping hand all because he's too big to do things meant for his househelp wife.


You have a good point but all I'm saying is that there should be a healthy balance of both helping out. None is too big for any responsibility in a home.

Karma ke? He is simply cleaning his house as he has lost hope with the wife...if he no do am house go dey smell. Watch the man carefully. Nothing the wife does scares him.....another servicer dey outside

The way that man dey take look inside dat toilet is suspicious. Shey K.K boobs or nyash picture dey inside?

Their home, their problem..

stupping too low just to please ur woman is dangerous.provide for the family,give ur order,give her sex and load her with belle.

ur children will hardly recognise u as their dad if u're the cooking dad.

Kini big deal?

So it's only a woman's job to clean
Cook
Look after the kids
Laundry and all other house chores?


Aiye manika oooo

I don't know why people make a fuss about other people's lives, marriages, etc. In life, and marriage most especially, there are no set rules. What applies to Mr A might not work for B. That you don't like it doesn't mean another doesn't and one shouldn't impose their choices or preferences on others. It's all about individual differences.

A former colleague of mine will never be seen without artificial nails. She never carries her natural hair and she never carries one hairstyle for more than 2weeks. These I came to realise do not even make her happy, she does them because her husband wants her that way. This definitely affects her chores at home so much that their little baby girl stays with her mum. Who's to say her husband doesn't step in to do some chores just so she can look good for him?

It's all about choices op. I think you should let the couples be. Whatever works for them, let them do nah. Personally, i wouldn't want that in my marriage but who gives a rats azz what goes on in other people's homes when it's not affecting me?

why should a man notify his wife that there is a busy body neigbour around? Are you that important to their family dynamics that his wife should interrupt what she's doing or is she an object that is beckoned upon to be showcased around guests on arrival?

Every home is different based on dynamics and personalities

There are men who come home and cook during weekdays whilst wifey cooks weekends because it SUITS THEM
There are also men who would never lift a finger to clean up after themselves/pamper their baby if they cry/pick the kids when they fall because its their personality and their wife adapts to it because its NOT A DEALBREAKER for her

Nigerians really need to learn to mind their business because when couples start opening up to tell you things their spouses do for them and vice versa, ,you ll appreciate the individuality and differences of personalities and then perhaps gain the understanding that marriage isnt black or white.

Which kind amebo be this ?
So cos you see a man doing house chores for a single day you just come to an invalid conclusion ?
Is it your marriage?
Mr please mind your business, their marriage, their business

How does one use an isolated event to reach such a conclusion -that a wife is turning her husband to a maid?

Op, I don't know if that is your writeup, but please, stop endorsing nonsense.

*saynotopryingneighbours

I thought I read this same thread minus the Noble Igwe stuff a while back?

Are several people going to visit their neighbours who behave same way?

Is this a script or a real life event?

I can never and will never advise a married couple on how to run their home when it's evident whatever arrangements they have is working for them.

Too many times, poke nosing outsiders destroy a beautiful thing because of perception.

Every marriage has its template, so mind your business.

"I know some women hate men who do house chores, I am one of them. A survey reveals that most men who do house chores are lazy men, they would rather do house chores than go out there and fend for their families!"
@op I support this your assertion no be small. You are absolutely correct!

OP, I'll advise that you mind your business! This is how people go about breaking other peoples homes.

Times have changed and it is only natural for people to adjust in order to adapt. Gone are the days when women were seen and treated as domestic servants while the men alone worked to cater for the family. In those days, cost of living was lower as there were no expensive private schools, no exhorbitant house rent to pay, and parents didn't have to buy pampers and infant formula for their babies, so women were not expected to work but keep the homes.

This mindset of yours is why many homes are in trouble today. Some guys expect their wives to work and at the same time do house chores alone. Even some jobless guys find it demeaning to do house chores! That's very wrong as the lady might die before her time.