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Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late? - Family (5) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late? (21980 Views)

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Re: Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late? by jonabee(m): 10:56am On Jan 02, 2010
I think 30yrs is basically for late comers. But the emphasis, however, is dependent on these:-

The wherewithal for happy marriage, including but not limited to relative financial standing

Finding the Right Partner

Dpendable job or trade

etc.
Re: Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late? by GeorgeD1(m): 11:23am On Jan 02, 2010
redsky1:

if marriage doesn't come at 21 a woman should sit at home abi - no body is saying your putting career ahead of marriage but if it doesn't come in your early 20s you have to make yourself a useful citizen of wherever you are. all i know is the lack of financial security a lot of women have ensures they tolerate what they wouldn't otherwise - we are no talking divorce or running from your marriage but if a man starts acting up cos he takes u for granted - u think he will change by cooking him pounded yam everyday.


anyway this topic should just rest - everyone has their set views and no one including nairaland is going to change it

nobody is saying a woman should sit down and moan just because she isn't married at 21 but what we are talking here is practical and we see it happen all around us. the tendency for our ladies these days is to put marriage aside and pursue career/education thinking that when they are ready a suitor will always be there for the picking. it's the reason why a woman in her late thirties will still be pursuing masters and phd while rejecting all eligible suitors that come her way.
why do we keep arguing blindly? these things are real. there are life experinces to support what i'm saying here.
Re: Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late? by iyin(f): 12:22pm On Jan 02, 2010
It's not all about getting married but staying married.

When u rush in; u'll definetely rush out, its all about ur mind set/maturity.
I can be 18 and yet be able to handle family matters that a lady of 30 can't handle. It's also a gift, some may try hard to cope and and handle certain issues in marriage. yet fail to do well in it.
Re: Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late? by dremoney(m): 4:33pm On Jan 02, 2010
Well,separate reason for different folks.

Up to me,its not all about getting married early because of pressure, leave AGE crap outta dis discussion.
ALOT of pple marry late(as assumed by d society) but end up well prepared living a fulfilled life.
Maturity,mental stability,compatibility and a whole lot more flows tgeda with marriage.

Timing of Marriage is just a thin line between your success and failure!
Re: Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late? by nazzyon(m): 6:12pm On Jan 02, 2010
My own ideas may not sound interesting or simply unreasonable to some.
--------------------------------

In my own opinion, age is not a deciding factor when it comes to getting married. The only thing I put into consideration is lives comfort.

I do not intend to get married when I am starving or incapable of caring for my either the and both the kids.
Re: Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late? by dharmie(f): 6:56pm On Jan 02, 2010
get married when u have someone u honestly cant hurt no matter how angry or depressed u are.
someone ure not ashamed of any time of the day.
someone u truly can obey and submit to despite trying times e.g if he has lost his job.
someone who sees and make decisions and comments intelligently.
one that is not afraid of commitments or worse still posseses the quit syndrome.

if ur partner has all that and more and u posess them too,
then  maybe u are ready for the smooth and sometimes bumpy road of marriage
age 20/30 not witstanding
Re: Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late? by belelikfin: 7:40pm On Jan 02, 2010
Getting married early or late in life both have there implications, the right thing to do is to get married when your ready and mature for it.
Re: Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late? by nellycobs: 9:34pm On Jan 02, 2010
Made una leave this kind yeye issue come face naija matter. which hope and future una dey look. Oyibo self no dey again. Ageg e
Re: Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late? by Finegirl4u4eternity: 9:48pm On Jan 02, 2010
Marriage is God's arrangement,though marrying on time is very good,one dont need to rush into marriage just because others are getting married.Marriage is more than just a romantic relationship,it requires proper care when choosing a life mate,so that there wont be any regret at last.
Re: Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late? by kabna(m): 12:00am On Jan 03, 2010
adaphik:

These fellows have said it all, N101, Jaylone, George D, Mekana, YME, Redmanns, Pak & Kabna, KUDOS.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My brother thanks alot for your commendations.
Re: Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late? by racerjc(m): 11:09am On Jan 03, 2010
Funny thread!!!!
I would say that whenever you wake up is your morning, marriage is not a race,competition or short long term relationship. It's a life term thing so care must be taken (Mental maturity) to know what you're about getting into.
Chinese marry at the age of 19,22,23 or 25 but usually divorce at the age of 35.
www.afialink.com
Re: Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late? by N101: 12:00pm On Jan 03, 2010
Ujujoan:

ok, N101 .  . . Who are you and where did u come from

Na secret   wink grin
Re: Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late? by Jaylone(m): 12:42pm On Jan 03, 2010
dharmie:

get married when u have someone u honestly cant hurt no matter how angry or depressed u are.
someone ure not ashamed of any time of the day.
someone u truly can obey and submit to despite trying times e.g if he has lost his job.
someone who sees and make decisions and comments intelligently.
one that is not afraid of commitments or worse still posseses the quit syndrome.

if your partner has all that and more and u posess them too,
then maybe u are ready for the smooth and sometimes bumpy road of marriage
age 20/30 not witstanding

O dear! you just made my heart glad.
A lot of people just want to go into marriage for better and for best.
But from a lot of experiences around us today we see that there are trying times.
If one is sincere that one would stand by ones partner then carry go, one is ready for marriage
Re: Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late? by GeorgeD1(m): 1:28pm On Jan 03, 2010
racerjc:

Funny thread!!!!
I would say that whenever you wake up is your morning, marriage is not a race,competition or short long term relationship. It's a life term thing so care must be taken (Mental maturity) to know what you're about getting into.
Chinese marry at the age of 19,22,23 or 25 but usually divorce at the age of 35.
www.afialink.com

ah then! i expect every chinese above the age of 35 is a divorcee going by this heavy generalization?
Re: Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late? by N101: 2:02pm On Jan 03, 2010
George_D:

ah then! i expect every chinese above the age of 35 is a divorcee going by this heavy generalization? 

You mean, similar to the kind of heavy generalisations in this thread?  I laugh in Tianjin.

I'll bet that somewhere out there, in Mandarin, there's a thread about whether getting married in your late 20s or early 30s is too late.   cool
 
 
Re: Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late? by koolchicco: 4:26pm On Jan 03, 2010
Some women sure need attitudinal change to avoid late marriages, irrespective of their ages.

Watch this:
[flash=425,344]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhThnlVVxOY&hl=en_US&fs=1&[/flash]
Re: Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late? by Busybody2(f): 5:55pm On Jan 03, 2010
@ Topic



CULTURALLY

As long as Nigerian parents retain the mindset that their children can never marry from certain tribes, religion, etc such as Ibo girls, Yoruba girls, Ijebu girls, Bini girls, Ondo girls, Muslims, Christians, etc, the answer to the topic is yes.

As long as Nigerian parents are allowed to rule the roost, the answer remains Yes.

As long as around 80% of Nigerian youth, state in polls after polls after polls after polls, that they can never marry a person their parents don't approve of, then "the answer still remains "yes it is too late".

As long as Nigerian men get cold feet when they find out a girl they are interested in dating is closer to 30 in age - because it puts pressure on them to be serious and have serious intention of settling down soon and show their serious intent - the answer is "yes". These same guys know that hooking up with a girl in her early twenties puts them under no pressure to commit any time soon, hence gives them ample opportunity to sow their wild oats.


MEDICALLY

Like some have rightly mentioned, the older one gets the more the quality of eggs decline, the more one has a risk of giving birth to children with Down's Syndrome, etc. In fact there are talks to start offering tests for older mothers to detect if the child they are carrrying has any autism gene, so that the same chance to abort the baby could be afforded to them, as is already being done to mothers whose scans have revealed the child in their womb has Down's.   


Medics would rather spend the extra money money looking for cure for Aids, etc so there is a reason where extra funding is diverted to mothers over a further age for further testings and why they are labelled as "high risk" whilst pregnant, go figure.



MEKANA:
I APPLUAD THE ABOVE WRITER FOR HIS INSIGHT AND ARTICULATED COMMENT. BUT FEW ISSUES WERE RAISED AND NEED TO BE ADDRESSED. your PREAMBLE  NOT ONLY APPEARED AS A CONDESCENSION (BY TAGGING OTHERS AS KIDS), IT TARNISHED THE MERIT IN your ARGUMENT. GOING BY your DICTION, ONE WONDERS  IF U HAD DONE A SCIENTIFIC SURVEY TO ASCERTAIN THE AVERAGE AGE OF THOSE POSTERS U CRITICIZED. tHE FUNDAMENTAL FACTOR THAT FRAMES OPINION IS SOCIOCULTURAL BACKGROUD AND PHILOSOPHY, NOT MERE AGE. SOME PPL IN THEIR FORTIES MIGHT HAVE SIMILAR VIEWS DEPENDING ON THEIR LEVEL OF INFLUENCE BY WESTERN VALUES.


VERY WELL SAID, DUNNO WHAT THAT REALLY SAYS OF HIS/HER OWN LEVEL OF MATURITY IF HE HAD TO RUBBISH OTHER PEOPLE'S DISSENTING OPINION TO GET HIS OWN ACROSS undecided
Re: Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late? by GeorgeD1(m): 9:36pm On Jan 03, 2010
N101:

You mean, similar to the kind of heavy generalisations in this thread? I laugh in Tianjin.

I'll bet that somewhere out there, in Mandarin, there's a thread about whether getting married in your late 20s or early 30s is too late. cool

try laughing in sign language. it sounds even better, i assure you! grin
Re: Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late? by Approved1(f): 9:41pm On Jan 03, 2010
@koolchico: Interesting movie. But it reeks of more brainwashing and propaganda than a World War II Nazi movie.
 
Re: Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late? by ayobase: 10:34am On Jan 04, 2010
Marriage?
By PENCIL "is castle that some are rushing into,
while some are rushing out."

This issue is take-your-time situation and
with prayers 2 be certain!

Sometimes, it is like like if
some are not just ready for marriage
while they are clocking 30+!

We have many like that in our society!
Re: Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late? by Okukk(m): 2:20pm On Jan 04, 2010
BUT what age is the best for both, 40
35
Re: Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late? by blesisart(f): 3:29pm On Jan 04, 2010
Marriage is quite delicate. I can't say any age is early or late, especially if you have exceeded the early or late date. When ever it comes is ok, but when u talk about the womans biological setup, then its good to make it early as society has chosen(btw 18-25 and etc)
Im in my latemid 20's and i dont think its right for you to force a man to marry u because you are "aging" Like they say Gods timing is the best, it only left for u to know when that time comes and be well dressed for it.
Re: Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late? by obifila: 3:39pm On Jan 04, 2010
I am very sure it was a guy that started dis conversation and not a female.
An Igbo addage says that it is wen one wakes up from sleep that is the person's morning. getting married either in your late twenties or early thirties doesn't make a different it is we your Mr RIGHT comes that you get married and not to forget during your waiting period you can get experience from dating.
Re: Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late? by Shentz(f): 8:18pm On Jan 04, 2010
I think between 27 and 33
Re: Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late? by harpo(m): 9:10am On Jan 05, 2010
27-30 for guys
25-28 for gals
Re: Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late? by otukpo(f): 9:41am On Jan 05, 2010
no age is too late. at 40, a woman can marry and still have her kids and a happy marriange.

Marriage is not sth u rush into, or do because others are doing or u want to be free from ur parents wahala.
Re: Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late? by GeorgeD1(m): 10:29am On Jan 05, 2010
otukpo, in that case why not wait until your 55 to get married?
Re: Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late? by Doffypops: 12:43pm On Jan 05, 2010
Nairaland, this is real fab! Great comments everyone, its good to see that we have a truly diverse and engaging bunch of people commenting here (and some really wise people to). @poster, at the end of the day though, this is a deeply personal decision that no amount of Nairaland wisdom can make for you. Best to listen to all the advice, pray hard, take a deep look at YOURSELF and then take the leap once you feel all is well on the balance. There is no age for this (but the earlier the better, I think?). I pray you get it right, all the best!
Re: Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late? by otukpo(f): 4:32pm On Jan 05, 2010
George_D:

otukpo, in that case why not wait until your 55 to get married?

the thing in marriage is that it is not sth u say it must be done b4 a certain age. What if the person don't get the right suitors b4 then.
I agree that the earlier the better, as a matter i am an advocate of early marriage, but when the right partner or other things put together are not right, u don't have to rush.

Mind u, most girls that marry late, lets say 35-45, its not that the didnt want to marry, but they didn't see the right partner. for some men, it is that they didn't have the resources and some other factors put together. It is never intentional for both sexes.

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