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Why Don't Nigerian Parents Listen To Their Children? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Why Don't Nigerian Parents Listen To Their Children? by agitator: 1:01pm On Jan 06, 2010
michelin89:

1. My cousin is 16, a very delicate age for a girl.
A minor even in advanced countries


2. Her Church members (especially the women) have taken it upon themselves to look at everything she does as wrong and never done before. I have told her to stop confiding in those girls she sees in church because they are extremely bitter and useless. After pretending to help you, they'll go around gossiping about you.
Kudos to her, she must be very innovative (at her age she is trying to change church doctrine, she can do better by starting her own church it’s much more easier than you ever imagined)


3. They have been saying she is a wayward loose girl. But I can vouch she is a virgin and she intends to remain so until her wedding night. How can people be so jobless? It is so bad the poor girl can't even say hello to any guy. They'd assume she is sleeping with him.


4. They says she dates an older guy. But this guy went with his family to my cuz's mother for an official introduction. It's not like she is hiding it. The mother is aware of everything and supervises everything the girl does. But she has never really questioned her about her intentions in the relationship or else she'd know how serious minded and noble they are.
Introduction at 16yrs !!!  Whatever happened to going to school and making a career (the independent woman)


5. She has never done anything that girls of her age don't do. She is adorable, sensitive and sweet. She doesn't deserve all that they are putting her through.

Both positive and negative


The last stroke of when at a part she was asked by someone to collect a bottle of Guinness. The moment they saw her with the drink, they started saying she was a drunkard. You may say I am paranoid but I believe they are trying to ruin her reputation. Maybe they are jealous because she is pretty, but the situation is so bad that even my mother who is my mum's best friends believes she is loose.

Guinness is for 18+ and there is nothing wrong with her taking it?


If I didn't know her to be a chronic liar, because she did the same thing to me, I'd believe it was true because that's what everyone is saying. You know if nobody stands to contest a lie, the moment is spreads it is taken for granted that it is true.
Re: Why Don't Nigerian Parents Listen To Their Children? by Glorya(f): 2:03pm On Jan 06, 2010
I think most folks are getting the poster wrong. I don't think she is trying to support indiscipline. What will ever make a mother spread false things about her own daughter? I think it is malicious. Is that the best she can do as a mother. If her daughter is going wrong, there are many ways to reach that child and correct her. What will be the input of the outsiders she is telling? Will they advise her on anything good? I think parent-child relationship should come to a level where children can safely confide in their parents knowing that even if they are wrong they will be corrected in love.

Parenthood is not all about discipline, there should also be love and friendship. Where these are lacking then there is sure to be trouble. This is the time when she would be pushed to make the wrong desicions. I feel for the lil girl.
Re: Why Don't Nigerian Parents Listen To Their Children? by agathamari(f): 2:19pm On Jan 06, 2010
probably the same reason as to why many nigerian parents say things like "i'll beat you.  are you stup1d,  shut up.  stop crying or i'll slap you."  instead of "i love you. im proud of you. are you ok. what is wrong"
Re: Why Don't Nigerian Parents Listen To Their Children? by axeman85(m): 2:32pm On Jan 06, 2010
some people are missing the point here, no one is against discipline or parents guiding their children BUT they and we need to understand that times and the world as a whole is changing and the times that parents make choices and make decision for their children is ending. in nigeria we all hide under the pretence of culture, as i have been saying this so called culture is the same blinding people from the truth and making people make wrong decisions and judgements even tho they know they are wrong but because CULTURE says its right they do so.

@bokoharam.

y sad parents are right at all times with the proverb you quoted. the world is changing and even what a baby can see before its born an adult cant even see it while using a stool to stand higher.

agreed parents dont want their child to fall victim of things they themselves have fallen BUT hey that will in turn mean children are being thaught the wrong thing.

some parents are creating enemity and division amongst themselves with their children all in the name of protecting them and knowing more than they are. I remembered back in the days my mum any small misttake na koboko, until i finally stood up to her packed my bags and left the house and today i never regretted making that decision because all she was doing then was making me dislike her by wanting to run my life for me even when i had finished secondary school and i wasnt having none of it.

majority of the parents live in the past where the children should only be seen and not to be heard and whatever the feelings of the children or opinion doesnt count as long as they are concerned
Re: Why Don't Nigerian Parents Listen To Their Children? by jaguar09(m): 2:38pm On Jan 06, 2010
Am really feeling bitter at the level of decay in the society, even someone who calls herself a mother is defending this bullshit. Agitator and bokaharam you guys are cool, i WILL never support evil, for God's sake this girl is 16 meaning a teenager. She should be college or tertitary school by now and one is telling me she deserves to have her life to herself now. i doubt the future of Nigeria if pple like poster, axeman and all those who support this happens to become leaders in this country.

the Facts:
at 16 she parties where alcohol is served.
at 16 she is already having issues with the house of God (Church).
at 16 she is already dating someone, and the fool she is dating is talking marriage.

The Truth:
at 16 she is meant to be developing her God given talent and planning her future.
at 16  she is meant to stick to her mother's advice and guidiance for proper knowledge of womanhood.
at 16 she is meant to stay clear of intimate relationship, because dat can ruin her life, career, education etc.


Someone please tell me his thread is a joke, if not we are in for the big fight. Madam rebranding GET READY.
Re: Why Don't Nigerian Parents Listen To Their Children? by axeman85(m): 2:39pm On Jan 06, 2010
@agitator

in as much as i agree with some of your response i also disagree with some. the poster said she was seen with a bottle of guiness. she didnt say she was drinking it, and even if she was, its left for her to see it is bitter, spit it out and dont drink it again. stopping a child now from going out, socialising with friends or partying once a while doesnt mean the child will not end up being worse or do these things. have you wondered why some boys and girls now party 24hrs/7days a week, smoke and have multiple sex partners.

personally i was sad and irritating to my ears 3days ago when a 26 yr old girl was telling me how she was lured into bed by a guy who prmised her a job. the girl has always been driver take me out and bring me back and butter pikin sha. things went bad so no more butter in her agai but becos of the way she was brought up she cant even smell a foul play when someone promised her a job and asked her to wait in an hotel room, came in the night like 7pm and asked her to stay the night so that he can take her to the job in the morning.

what am saying in essence is that sometimes parents should give their children some little space to do things or experience things that will make them learn from their mistakes. becos sometimes being toooo strict turns the children to dunce or morons. and make children not have a mind of their own.
Re: Why Don't Nigerian Parents Listen To Their Children? by axeman85(m): 2:43pm On Jan 06, 2010
jaguar_09:

Am really feeling bitter at the level of decay in the society, even someone who calls herself a mother is defending this bullshit. Agitator and bokaharam you guys are cool, i WILL never support evil, for God's sake this girl is 16 meaning a teenager. She should be college or tertitary school by now and one is telling me she deserves to have her life to herself now. i doubt the future of Nigeria if pple like poster, axeman and all those who support this happens to become leaders in this country.

the Facts:
at 16 she parties where alcohol is served.
at 16 she is already having issues with the house of God (Church).
at 16 she is already dating someone, and the fool she is dating is talking marriage.

when her parents have parties dont they serve alcohol ? isnt that a party ?
she is having issues with the PEOPLE IN THE CHURCH not the church. because some acclaimed pastors spread false and untrue rumors about her which i know its possible because i am a victim.
in regards to dating i also personally have a problem with that because at 16 she should concentrate on her books and not about men.
Re: Why Don't Nigerian Parents Listen To Their Children? by Wismos86: 3:13pm On Jan 06, 2010
DWell, it's a pity dat most Nigerian parents turn deaf ears to their wards. I want to believe that those parents that fall into this category are the illiterate or unlettered ones. They make use of thesame method that was used in their own days to bring up wards of nowadays. I want to also believe that such parents do not trust their wards. Because the Bible says " Train up a child in the way he should go, when he is old he will not depart from it. So, if they are trained any how it could lead to the creation of vaccum between the child and the parent. Training them up in the way of the Lord will bring about a concrete relationship between both parties which will eventually lead to a smooth communication.
Re: Why Don't Nigerian Parents Listen To Their Children? by Outstrip(f): 3:37pm On Jan 06, 2010
Remember back in the day when a woman would viciously attack her child and everybody just sits around and watches. What do people say though? "It's her mother, she will not kill her child". Typical Nigerian mentality. You people should keep lying to yourselves about parents not intentionally harming their children. Many African parents believe that the harm they are doing is somehow going to turn good. Keep deluding yourself that the culture is this and that. The culture is majorly about control and that is the way it has been in Africa forever. The I own you mentality. It is a slave mentality and it needs to stop. Parents to children. Husband to wife. Boss to employee. Rich man to poor man. It is quite clear that in Nigeria it always comes down to people in authority feeling more comfortable using a master/slave approach
Re: Why Don't Nigerian Parents Listen To Their Children? by ravenzord(m): 4:13pm On Jan 06, 2010
@ Agitator: POC, she wasn't drinking the Guinness, she was just the courier,at a family party, and if you're truthful to yourself you'll agree that some church folks carry lotsa malicious gossip around, but as for that introduction at 16, , e get as e be O.
Re: Why Don't Nigerian Parents Listen To Their Children? by Iyineda(m): 4:33pm On Jan 06, 2010
1. The culture: children are to be seen, not heard.
2. Poor communication. I bet those situations happen when child and parent barely speak abt sensitive details in the child's personal life
3. Sad, but some people are more comfortable spreading a rumor than facing up to the truth - that they may be the architect of their child's problem. Others just don't know how to be part of the solution, and focus on enjoying the existence of a problem.
4. A bit far-fetched, but a parent might use it as a tool to humiliate a child they think is stubborn.

Iceblue just owned the thread.



Discussions end here/
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Re: Why Don't Nigerian Parents Listen To Their Children? by Glorya(f): 4:40pm On Jan 06, 2010
@ Jaguar_09
Your points, facts and truth are well noted. I also don't support her going to parties where alcohol is being served and dating at age 16. My point is that her mum is not doing the best to help her by slandering her. No one is a saint esp. at this delicate age of experimenting and learning. Its her mum's job to try and shape her.

at 16  she is meant to stick to her mother's advice and guidiance for proper knowledge of womanhood.
Are u sure this motherly advice and guidance was given and then rejected by the young girl?

at 16 she is already dating someone, and the fool she is dating is talking marriage.
According to what i understood from the poster, it is with her mom's consent.

I still maintain that parents are supposed to be role models and best friends to their children so that even when these young ones make mistakes they know that they have someone to come back to who will not condemn them but will correct them in LOVE.
Re: Why Don't Nigerian Parents Listen To Their Children? by agitator: 5:11pm On Jan 06, 2010
I believe the poster is being economical with the truth.

now kids want their parents to accept wrong things because it is modern fashion, acceptable, etc.

how come the whole(or majority) women in the church are saying things about her? is she the only young BEAUTIFUL girl in the church.

michelin89:


4. They says she dates an older guy. But this guy went with his family to my cuz's mother for an official introduction. It's not like she is hiding it. The mother is aware of everything and supervises everything the girl does. But she has never really questioned her about her intentions in the relationship or else she'd know how serious minded and noble they are.
according to the poster everybody was saying she dates an older guy. here old may mean 35-45yrs or even 50, and the poster explained it off by saying an OFFICIAL INTRODUCTION had been made.

and you all assume they are just gossipping her because of HER BEAUTY. this is a common language among girls who feel they are beautiful, it gets into their head and whenever somebody tries to correct them they just claim the person is jealous if its a female or person hates them because they refused to date them if it happens to be a male.

just my personal opinion, please don't crucify me
Re: Why Don't Nigerian Parents Listen To Their Children? by michelin89(f): 5:49pm On Jan 06, 2010

@poster

From your clarifications, I can conjecture that  u re probably her age bracket. U therefore need to understnd so many things:

1. Parents are more experienced that their teenage children

2. What an old person sees sitting down, a young person will nt see on top of a tree

3. They r tryn to b protective so u dont fall victim of their fear (some fell victims themselves)

4. I bet u when u grow older, u will understnd why, & laff at your ignorance in d past

Parents can't and will never be able to read their children's mind. You are taking it for granted that your father and mothers knows how you are or what you think by looking at you and I maintain IT IS NOT TRUE.

5. U telling us that older girls (including married women) are jealous ( I hope dt s wht u mean) of your cuz, makes me feel u re a teenager/adolescent, who does nt yet understnd. Yes, dt stage is very delicate; we all passed thru it; everything u do seems the best & the right thing; any opposition shld be crushed.

Yes, older girls are jealous because they see her as a threat. You are thinking in Church it is all love and peace. I know why I don't even like going to church in the first place. It is never about what the pastor preached but about the clothes or shoes that woman or that man wore.

6. It is wrong for an old man to come asking for the hand of a 16-year old in marriage; no reasonable parent will take it lightly; if she's living in 9ja, she shld either be in SS3 or just finishing her sec schl. So, dt s funny

7. Dt she's talking abt marriage now(?) makes her look irresponsible b4 her parents

When I say older guy I am not talking of an agbaya. 21 is a reasonable age considering the boy properly introduced himself and took his family along to guarantee for him.

8. She must hv been telling her friends the evil things she did (or does); dt s d reason her friends ridicule her b4 their parents & whoever cares to know

Yeah and I have told her to stop it. They don't love her or care about her. Those people are fighting for their own reputation and will use anything they know against you to bring you down before others.

9. She may nt be as decent as she tells u. So, dont think she's innocent.

I never said she was a saint but she doesn't do what people accuse her of. She is a level headed girl.

10. Her beauty might have "entered her head", which could be destructive to her career/life.

She is not conscious of her beauty. But I think she is beautiful. She doesn't even realize how captivating her looks are.

11. U appear to b encouraging her in crucifying her parents, by, mayb giving her d impression dt her parents are devils st shld b ignored.


No I am just upset that a mother would trust strangers more than her daughter. This is a girl who is ready to leave a fun party if she hears her mum is sick. She stood by her mother all through the hardship they faced. What else can she do to win her trust?

12. She may NOT have told u the whole truth! She may be hiding some things from you. I knw at this age, girls hide a lot & dont tell their friends d whole truth.

Believe me. I told my friends the truth, all the time because I trusted them and she did the same with me. I know for what I know.

MY ADVICE:

1. Let your cuz undstnd dt her parents do nt mean bad for her

2. Let her realise dt she is too young to go into some expensive activities, like having suitors & contemplating marriage; as 16, it sounds ridiculous!!

3. What is paramount for her now is to enrol in a University (if she has not) & graduate (WITH GOOD GRADES!); only an irresponsible parent will want her sec schl cert holder-daughter to start talking abt marriage

4. Let her apologise to her parents & promise to b d good girl they want her to be; with this the confidence they had in her will b restored. And, parents will judge less from other parents' views/comments

5. Let her watch the friends she keeps; this is worse known killer of small  dreams

6. Let her put everything behind and face her studies

7. You as her friend, need to encourage her too;


Sorry, kid sister,
I may have been harsh on you. BUt, I just gave u the best advice a BIG brother can give a little sister. Pls, do not take it as hatred. I dont even know u.

The reason why the boy went to introduce himself was because he is already an adult, age wise. It was only proper for him to do so. Irresponsible guys don't even do that even though their gfs were their agemates.

I'll keep encouraging her and stand by her, because this is too much for her to bear. Imagine being scrutinized any time they see you passing by.

Thank you for your input.
Re: Why Don't Nigerian Parents Listen To Their Children? by michelin89(f): 5:54pm On Jan 06, 2010
[size=8pt]As for those saying my cousin is talking about marriage, you are wrong. When I said proper introduction I meant the boy (age 21) went to tell the girl's mother that he was interested in her. This was to avoid any malicious thoughts. I think what he did was responsible and reasonable. When your daughter is dating an older guy or even someone of her age, it is good he comes forward to introduce himself to the mother.[/size]
Re: Why Don't Nigerian Parents Listen To Their Children? by niyiaran: 5:56pm On Jan 06, 2010
@ michelin89, cry

There is always two side to a story, you have told us your own version of the story the way you think it happen or suit you, let other help you to reason so that you will be a better person. You can be a judge and complianer in your own case.

@ harakiri: I also follow your line of thought on this topic.
Re: Why Don't Nigerian Parents Listen To Their Children? by michelin89(f): 6:01pm On Jan 06, 2010
A minor even in advanced countries

So?

Kudos to her, she must be very innovative (at her age she is trying to change church doctrine, she can do better by starting her own church it’s much more easier than you ever imagined)

What are you even talking about?

Introduction at 16yrs !!!  Whatever happened to going to school and making a career (the independent woman)

He simply wants the mum to know they are dating.

Both positive and negative

Guinness is for 18+ and there is nothing wrong with her taking it?

Can you even read? I said someone asked her to collect it for her. Isn't it in our culture to send children on errands?

You didn't contribute jack to this topic but simply exercised your fingers and you are supposed to be a reasonable adults? Stop disturbing your neurons as they can't obviously produce any decent thought.

agitator:

I believe the poster is being economical with the truth.

now kids want their parents to accept wrong things because it is modern fashion, acceptable, etc.

how come the whole(or majority) women in the church are saying things about her? is she the only young BEAUTIFUL girl in the church.
according to the poster everybody was saying she dates an older guy. here old may mean 35-45yrs or even 50, and the poster explained it off by saying an OFFICIAL INTRODUCTION had been made.

and you all assume they are just gossipping her because of HER BEAUTY.  this is a common language among girls who feel they are beautiful, it gets into their head and whenever somebody tries to correct them they just claim the person is jealous if its a female or person hates them because they refused to date them if it happens to be a male.

just my personal opinion, please don't crucify me

Garbage. Read before you comment, thanks!
Re: Why Don't Nigerian Parents Listen To Their Children? by michelin89(f): 6:03pm On Jan 06, 2010
niyiaran:

@ michelin89, cry

There is always two side to a story, you have told us your own version of the story the way you think it happen or suit you, let other help you to reason so that you will be a better person. You can be a judge and complianer in your own case.

@ harakiri: I also follow your line of thought on this topic.

Just for the fact that you picked Harakiri is enough for me to say you don't even know what we are talking about. Also read the topic before you comemnt, it'll make you a better person too.
Re: Why Don't Nigerian Parents Listen To Their Children? by michelin89(f): 6:13pm On Jan 06, 2010
Am really feeling bitter at the level of decay in the society, even someone who calls herself a mother is defending this bullshit. Agitator and bokaharam you guys are cool, i WILL never support evil, for God's sake this girl is 16 meaning a teenager. She should be college or tertitary school by now and one is telling me she deserves to have her life to herself now. i doubt the future of Nigeria if pple like poster, axeman and all those who support this happens to become leaders in this country.

Yes she is 16, reason why she needs to be listened to and supported by her parents.

the Facts:
at 16 she parties where alcohol is served.
at 16 she is already having issues with the house of God (Church).
at 16 she is already dating someone, and the fool she is dating is talking marriage.

1. In what Nigerian party alcohol is not served? Even if she goes to a restaurant, aren't alcohol sold there? What is the point of this statement you made? Should she be going to bdays for kindergatens? Even there, won't there be alcohol for the so called adults? This remark is pointless and biased.

2. She is not having issues with the house of God but with the people there who are mostly jobless gossipers. If I were the mother, I'd change chruch and never look back again.

3. 16 is not early to date when you are supervised by your parents. Italy is not like Nigeria where you can stroll out anytime to visit friends. For the fact that we are ina foreign land, our liberty to move is pretty limited if you don't have a car.

The Truth:
at 16 she is meant to be developing her God given talent and planning her future.
at 16  she is meant to stick to her mother's advice and guidiance for proper knowledge of womanhood.
at 16 she is meant to stay clear of intimate relationship, because dat can ruin her life, career, education etc.


Someone please tell me his thread is a joke, if not we are in for the big fight. Madam rebranding GET READY.

She is a student and she is doing well in school. She listens to her mother and is an obedient loving child. Let's not get drastic here. People dated and they became successul. These are mere excuses to bring out the usual blah blah of how we are losing our culture.

Fact is she is here in the west and the parents must acknowledge it. If they can, she can be sent back to Nigerian where she'll recieve the "proper" training.

Like in Nigeria everyone was a saint.
Re: Why Don't Nigerian Parents Listen To Their Children? by Busybody2(f): 7:10pm On Jan 06, 2010
Nigerian culture, parents always knows best lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed
Re: Why Don't Nigerian Parents Listen To Their Children? by OpeLovely(f): 7:29pm On Jan 06, 2010
It also depends on the way you comport yourself. If you behave maturedly and rationally, your parents will have no cause to treat you as a child. Also, parents sometimes are not matured as they fall for that without thorough investigations. Then again, they may just be over-protective as they do not want their own woes to befall you.
Re: Why Don't Nigerian Parents Listen To Their Children? by CHANCEMAN: 8:44pm On Jan 06, 2010
Hey the fact that your mum's friend is talking foul about her daughter does not mean all mothers from Nigeria do that nor is that peculiar to Nigeria in the western world people do the same.
Re: Why Don't Nigerian Parents Listen To Their Children? by CHANCEMAN: 8:51pm On Jan 06, 2010
axeman85 there is nothing that is new that the world has never experienced before so do not be phased by your experience, do you have children ?do they make the right decisions all the time?even you as an adult do you make the right decisions all the time?
Re: Why Don't Nigerian Parents Listen To Their Children? by CHANCEMAN: 8:57pm On Jan 06, 2010
All of you now are bashing your parents and your culture after you will say you thank GOd that you are not like Akata.
Re: Why Don't Nigerian Parents Listen To Their Children? by kulyie: 11:03pm On Jan 06, 2010
dats true.my parents (especially my mom) are guilty of dat.dey'll rather listen 2 n believe wot other people say bout me than even listening 2 me b4 dey judge.so wen u were explanin d whole tin i realised were u were comin from.infact wen i go 2 my friends place sometimes n even spend some weeks with dem i observe how their parents treat dem even wen dia children r obviously wrong n i always wish in my mind 'dat if dis parents were mine or if i belonged 2 dis family''.i'm even happier wen i stay with my other family members or friends in dia place than wen i'm at home.infact i eagerly wait 4 school 2 resume not because i luv school dat much but just because i'm out of my house. cry cry cry cry cry cry cry
Re: Why Don't Nigerian Parents Listen To Their Children? by harakiri(m): 11:30pm On Jan 06, 2010
kulyie:

dats true.my parents (especially my mom) are guilty of dat.dey'll rather listen 2 n believe wot other people say bout me than even listening 2 me b4 dey judge.so wen u were explanin d whole tin i realised were u were comin from.infact wen i go 2 my friends place sometimes n even spend some weeks with dem i observe how their parents treat dem even wen dia children r obviously wrong n i always wish in my mind 'dat if dis parents were mine or if i belonged 2 dis family''.i'm even happier wen i stay with my other family members or friends in dia place than wen i'm at home.infact i eagerly wait 4 school 2 resume not because i luv school dat much but just because i'm out of my house. cry cry cry cry cry cry cry

Typical characteristic of a rebellious child.The parents of those same kids you admire will be the same ones that will be called bad parents when their kids do something disgraceful.Believe it or not, a parent knows his/her child.From the kind of things you want and the sort of things you like doing, they know where you are going.You know why? BECAUSE THEY WERE KIDS BEFORE!

Imagine a 14 year old girl who wants to "party" with her friends all night and gets refused by her parents.She then feels they are "wicked" and don't care about her but those parents KNOW what goes on in parties and they are protecting their daughter from possible despoil ,STDs and drug addiction.

I have a friend who is a mess right now because he had "good parents" who always "listened" to him and let him have his way.At a point, he told me he wished he his parents were more strict with him.To those of you who think i am off point (e.g the moderator/poster), THE REASON WHY PARENT'S LISTEN TO OUTSIDERS MORE THAN YOURSELF IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT PROVEN YOURSELF AS BEING MATURE AND YOU HAVE ALSO DONE THINGS TO MAKE THEM DOUBT YOUR JUDGEMENT! ! !

If you want your parents to listen to you more, then you have to prove yourself as being mature and of sound judgement.Simple as that.No long tings.


Shikena,
Re: Why Don't Nigerian Parents Listen To Their Children? by kulyie: 11:37pm On Jan 06, 2010
@harakiri shut d f**k up n stop bin judgemental.y r u even usin a 14 yr old as an example.wot d hell made u fil i'm a damn teenager.u suck
Re: Why Don't Nigerian Parents Listen To Their Children? by harakiri(m): 11:42pm On Jan 06, 2010
@kulyie

Your response is typical of an 8 year old.I'm not surprised.Go get yourself some cookies and a glass of milk.Then watch Pokemon afterwards.
Re: Why Don't Nigerian Parents Listen To Their Children? by kulyie: 11:56pm On Jan 06, 2010
@harakiri get a life n stop thinking like an abnormal person.8 yr old kids r asleep by dis time n if dey r not asleep dey r reading or watching cartoon n not on nl.besides our 18 yr old last born is wiser dan u r.u rily nid 2 see her here lafin at ur stupidity.anyway ure such a nuisance n a lousy fellow.silly tin.i feel so sorry 4 u than d fact dat u irritate grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Re: Why Don't Nigerian Parents Listen To Their Children? by harakiri(m): 12:06am On Jan 07, 2010
Drive out at this time of night and you will see 8 year old kids selling at Obalende at this time.I know your 18 year old last born and you are right, she wise. . .much wiser than you AND THAT IS WHY YOUR PARENTS ONLY LISTEN TO HER NOT YOU!
Re: Why Don't Nigerian Parents Listen To Their Children? by Kilode1: 1:30am On Jan 07, 2010
Kai! these small small pikins and teenagers have invaded NL again!! chei! where is that bulala koboko I've been soaking for 3days sef?  grin grin


the kids have a point though, 

some aspects our culture can be too harsh and dehumanizing especially on kids.
hopefully, this generation will raise their kids better, just don't throw good aspects of the culture away. like that bulala koboko! cheesy
Re: Why Don't Nigerian Parents Listen To Their Children? by Bokoharam: 5:47am On Jan 07, 2010
I want to thank u the way u responded to my myriad of questions. I am impressed.

However, I believe, u needed our views/opinions, & that’s you asked us to come in. You do not need to be cantankerous or confrontational about it. Please, allow people to participate without pouring venoms & invectives on them (e.g. is your attack on agitator in RESPONSE #80 following). I, personally have been as objective & honest as I can. To further say more on this issue, my kid sister, could be help me out:

1. Please, be honest, how old are you, Michelin89? I believe you are less than 18 too (pardon my guess; I’m not omniscient)

2. Where does this cousin-friend stay, Italy? (I had to rush through, b/c I have so much work to do; pardon me too) &Where do YOU YOURSELF STAY? This will help us unbundle the background to the whole scenario.

3. You never mentioned the girl’s father in this scene (let’s be silent about it, anyway, if u choose);

4. You advocated change of church, if you were her mother; that makes me consistently enquire: how old are you? Remember I said earlier that at teenage/adolescent age, whatever we do, we believe to be the best; nature has made it to be so.


OTHER MATTERS ARISING:

1. No responsible NIGERIAN mother would want to entertain a SUITOR for her 16-year daughter

2. If the mother gave consent, like u said, then she wouldn’t have fears concerning rumours about her daughter’s philandering activities; like I said earlier, the girl’s attitude is constantly causing this friction b/w mother n child.

3. I can see you’re a very intelligent and & charming girl; but you need to keep your cool, so people you invited can look into this thing thoroughly.



16 is not early to date when you are supervised by your parents. Italy is not like Nigeria where you can stroll out anytime to visit friends. For the fact that we are ina  foreign land, our liberty to move is pretty limited if you don't have a car.


4. You made the above comment, and this very supervision is what the parent is doing, yet you find a lot of things wrong with that. I think, you have judged yourself. Or, what then do you mean by Supervision.



I’m running out of time. Please, reply, and I will probably comment later. You are a wonderful girl; I’ve seen that wonderfulness in you. And that’s why I want to help you & your friend out. You two deserve the best.

But, before I leave, I want to tell you that Nigerian parents’ guarding of their children has always paid off. No Nigerian has ever been a terrorist until Dec 25, 2009. THE ONLY CASE NIGERIA IS THE CASE OF A 23-YEAR WHO SCHOOLED OUTSIDE THE WATCHFUL EYES OF HIS PARENTS—AND THE PARENTS ARE REGRETTING TODAY. GO ASK ALHAJI ABDULMUTALLAB !!!

Meanwhile, Please, listen to Hakiri’s comments in post #89. What a sweet piece of advice.

harakiri:

Typical characteristic of a rebellious child.The parents of those same kids you admire will be the same ones that will be called bad parents when their kids do something disgraceful.Believe it or not, a parent knows his/her child.From the kind of things you want and the sort of things you like doing, they know where you are going.You know why? BECAUSE THEY WERE KIDS BEFORE!

Imagine a 14 year old girl who wants to "party" with her friends all night and gets refused by her parents.She then feels they are "wicked" and don't care about her but those parents KNOW what goes on in parties and they are protecting their daughter from possible despoil ,STDs and drug addiction.

I have a friend who is a mess right now because he had "good parents" who always "listened" to him and let him have his way.At a point, he told me he wished he his parents were more strict with him.To those of you who think i am off point (e.g the moderator/poster), THE REASON WHY PARENT'S LISTEN TO OUTSIDERS MORE THAN YOURSELF IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT PROVEN YOURSELF AS BEING MATURE AND YOU HAVE ALSO DONE THINGS TO MAKE THEM DOUBT YOUR JUDGEMENT! ! !

If you want your parents to listen to you more, then you have to prove yourself as being mature and of sound judgement.Simple as that.No long tings.

Shikena,


I add:
You MUST know that anything dt is sweet is NOT the truth; it could be sycophancy, flattery or deceit. Experience has remained the best teacher till today. I'm highly experienced & very qualified to tell u this.

I will meet u again.

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