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I Was Deceived - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Re: I Was Deceived by quivah(f): 8:52am On Apr 29, 2017
kaboninc:


You and I will live as one.. .

Re: I Was Deceived by kaboninc(m): 9:01am On Apr 29, 2017
quivah:
.
Are you jealous?
Re: I Was Deceived by chloride6: 10:46am On Apr 29, 2017
kaboninc:


You sef dey come here

I dey come ooh.
Re: I Was Deceived by Missonas(f): 7:48pm On Apr 29, 2017
Prognose:

Smh.

If he is not man enough to fund his own wedding
Then he's not man enough to take care of you.
Prognose.
This is the basis of her problem.

Op The signs were there u did not take it seriously. U both should be serious about earning a living before the kids start coming
Re: I Was Deceived by needforanswers: 5:27pm On Apr 30, 2017
chloride6:
Boy am I glad I found this thread, it's almost 3am and I can't sleep.

Anyway OP, lemme clear you on hand.

That your bobo no serious at all!

Does he have a degree? In what? What grade?

So your husband is hustling. Ha!!!!

Hustle is his big game to feed his family. Omo you don enter am.

What kind of financial situation do you think you will always be in?

No glimpse of financial security in sights.

That his kind of works can bring 5m tommorow next you will not see shit for the next 5 years.

Tell him you are not interested in that business abeg.

Let him get a job or do business that has a defined market and can be at least predictable so you guys can plan.

Stamp your feet no dull at all. You are fighting for your life and happiness here.

Like I said more details pls. Is he educated, learnt a trade lets know his options.

Have a nice day


Modified

Hope the age difference between you two ain't so much.

So that you can have the confidence to talk.

What your husband doesn't realize is that hustling was okay for a single guy, but for a married guy, hell no!

Single guys can stay and live life as it comes.

A married man needs more money.

Let him know he is no more a boy.

Thanks a lot.

He painted a false picture of the nature of hjis job to me. He said he already has customers that will patronise him and link him to other buyers. I went into the marriage fully assured that he has his finances in order.

If I bring up the fact that he deceived me he immediately shuts down and stops talking and starts holding face as if I am insulting him.

He is seeking other jobs right now though, just that in Nigeria its a bit difficult to get a good well paying job. Long ago, we both discussed what you said about hustling not being good enough and he agreed to get a stable job. He searches online and has put his CV up in different sites. So we hopehe finds something soon because for now, nothing. No job.

1 Like

Re: I Was Deceived by achieverme(m): 6:32pm On Apr 30, 2017
needforanswers:


this is actually what I plan to do. Maybe it will get him out of his comfort zone.

I didn't renew our DSTV subsciption when it expired so we havent watched tv in more than a week. Also, I plan to stop subscibing for our prepaid meter for electricity.
I will also reduce our feeding to twice a day. If he still doesn't budge then once a day.

Madam you try o. I am not rich ò, but I won't descend so low to leave TV sub or electricity sub to my wife. I'm not married yet, but I don't think a responsible husband will allow his wife to do that.
Re: I Was Deceived by ojoj(m): 8:04pm On Apr 30, 2017
Going by the above comments, no one has looked at the other area which is testing the op. Yes the man maybe trying the op. That s to know how she will behave in case he cannot meet up as the head of the family. Op its your cross pls rise to the o ccassion. God will support you. It is well.
Re: I Was Deceived by NoToPile: 12:12pm On May 29, 2017
Loool, see people defending and attacking different posters I can't laugh ooo.


grin grin
Re: I Was Deceived by Nobody: 3:29pm On Jul 22, 2017
wow
Re: I Was Deceived by loshybab(m): 1:10am On Jul 23, 2017
tabithababy:
Op, is your husband a Yoruba man?? If yes, congratulations cos Yoruba men prefer to be fed by their wives. embarassed angry
smh!
...and you as a Yoruba lady with bros,who would grow up one day to live the kinda life you just described up there
Re: I Was Deceived by tabithababy(f): 7:09am On Jul 23, 2017
ojoj:
Going by the above comments, no one has looked at the other area which is testing the op. Yes the man maybe trying the op. That s to know how she will behave in case he cannot meet up as the head of the family. Op its your cross pls rise to the o ccassion. God will support you. It is well.

really?? testing the op by not taking care of the woman you married thereby leaving her to feed you and pay for light and other bills angry

2 Likes

Re: I Was Deceived by Eze2000(m): 9:57pm On Jul 23, 2017
needforanswers:


this is actually what I plan to do. Maybe it will get him out of his comfort zone.

I didn't renew our DSTV subsciption when it expired so we havent watched tv in more than a week. Also, I plan to stop subscibing for our prepaid meter for electricity.
I will also reduce our feeding to twice a day. If he still doesn't budge then once a day.

it may backfire.

Domestic violence
Re: I Was Deceived by tabithababy(f): 5:25am On Jul 24, 2017
Eze2000:


it may backfire.

Domestic violence

what will backfire??

using her hard earned money to feed her husband

some men are sooo shameless
Re: I Was Deceived by Nobody: 6:57am On Jul 24, 2017
needforanswers:

thanks for your words of advice.
Yes, it was indeed a long distance relationship. I only used to pay him a visit once in a while like once in three months and even at that I dont spend up to a week because I don't want temptation to step in since we were in a no-sex relationship.

marriage is not a death sentence, you have signed up for a very hard unhappy life by not being thorough before settling down, i'm really really sorry for your situation but i'm not one to lie to ppl to appease emotion. your "husband" has no sense of responsibility and will never change. the only advice i will give you is to file for a divorce, get back on your feet and move on. you have no kids yet, no permanent ties to this man. i really really feel sad for you but will be very rational with u, a man who lied about his finances, let u foot his wedding and began to show his true colors immediately he wifed you, found a scapegoat in you all along.
you also seem quite naive with the long-distance, "we agreed to no-sex before marriage" dating, you have always been alone in this relationship, no way this man was being faithful to you if he played u like this. i know you will discard my advice but for all the non-sentiments i show, i am also very smart and highly educated and as far as advices go, this is the best advice you will ever get from anyone who's mentally conscious, walk away before this man sucks the life out of you or stay back for better for worse but honey, you signed up for worse only. end this relationship and move on. or dont, you will remember my words though.

1 Like

Re: I Was Deceived by robotix: 7:49am On Jul 24, 2017
needforanswers:


this is actually what I plan to do. Maybe it will get him out of his comfort zone.

I didn't renew our DSTV subsciption when it expired so we havent watched tv in more than a week. Also, I plan to stop subscibing for our prepaid meter for electricity.
I will also reduce our feeding to twice a day. If he still doesn't budge then once a day.

I don't know how some men get so comfortable in collecting money from people regularly. Ah... my God, I would hate myself so much under such circumstance. People get mind o.
Re: I Was Deceived by Eze2000(m): 8:26am On Jul 24, 2017
tabithababy:


what will backfire??

using her hard earned money to feed her husband

some men are sooo shameless

I'm an author and a relationship psychologist of sorts. The number one reason for domestic violence is that the abuser has laid complete claim over the woman in his mind ..she is his property to do with as he wishes and nothing will happen. The op here should never have taken this path. if she quits now, her hubby will see as his right being taken away and start beating her. it is best she leaves that house.

Lady, u should watch your tongue on social media. There are all manner of people behind usernames and these days, according to your limited imagination, they are illiterates, undergrads....or shameless as called me...right?

1 Like

Re: I Was Deceived by needforanswers: 2:21pm On Jul 24, 2017
Eze2000:


I'm an author and a relationship phschologist of sorts. The number one reason for domestic violence is that the laid complete claim over the woman in his mind ..she is his property to do with as he wishes and nothing will happen. The op here should never have taken this path. if she quits now her hubby will see as his right being taken away and start beating her. it is best she leaves that house.

Lady, u should watch your tongue on social media. There are all manner of people behind a username and these days they are illiterates or undergrads....or shameless as called me.
Lol no.
He's not the violent type.
Re: I Was Deceived by Nobody: 5:17pm On Jul 24, 2017
needforanswers:


this is actually what I plan to do. Maybe it will get him out of his comfort zone.

I didn't renew our DSTV subsciption when it expired so we havent watched tv in more than a week. Also, I plan to stop subscibing for our prepaid meter for electricity.
I will also reduce our feeding to twice a day. If he still doesn't budge then once a day.

Op u try o, i wont even drop a dime after knowing he his a deceiver. U better do the needful and dont get pregnant yet since he married u just to have a wife and child.
Re: I Was Deceived by thorpido(m): 5:31pm On Jul 24, 2017
Needforanswers,have things improved with your hubby?
Re: I Was Deceived by edwife(f): 6:24pm On Jul 24, 2017
thorpido:
Needforanswers,have things improved with your hubby?

Improved? Here is where she stands.

https://www.nairaland.com/3938818/want-leave-husband/2#58789545
Re: I Was Deceived by Eze2000(m): 8:47pm On Jul 25, 2017
needforanswers:

Lol no.
He's not the violent type.

80% of battered women say what you have just said.

You see, by definition and character, a man is an animal. Push a harmless animal into a tight corner and it will attack you.

Wishing you the best my dear.
Re: I Was Deceived by needforanswers: 4:41am On Jul 27, 2017
Eze2000:


80% of battered women say what you have just said.

You see, by definition and character, a man is an animal. Push a harmless animal into a tight corner and it will attack you.

Wishing you the best my dear.
Thanks for your good wishes. God bless u

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