I copied this somewhere :We've been maried 4 three yrs now.its obvious we both luv. But whenever i use his fone probably 2send an sms, i always discover somtin that trigers trouble.like a sent sms 2some one he's mising.iv always called him 2 explain.he either says a colleuge used[code][/code] his fone or another excuse. I try to believe tho, I luv him with all sincerity.but this aspect always makes me unconfortable.what should i do?

Tnx chaircover. I ld try to avoid touchn it asmuch as posible, But put urself in my shoes.some1 u wholeheartedly luv but u stil av somthing u feel unconfortable about him,its painful.its affectin many other things.

Abeg stop it, this has gotten me into trouble with my Oga, At the end of the day i was embarrased and had to apologise.
As i grow more each day, i have learnt that checking peoples phone is a sign of insecurity

I agree, keep your hands off his phone, in the end you have to ask yourself how much you really want to know, and you will realise that you dont want and dont need to know everything he is doing, as loong as he is treating you the way you want, giving you the attention you need and so on, i think you should leave him some privacy, as you might also like to have

aisha2:

Abeg stop it, this has gotten me into trouble with my Oga, At the end of the day i was embarrased and had to apologise.
As i grow more each day, i have learnt that checking peoples phone is a sign of insecurity

Nice one.
Why going thru his phone?
I have no problem with my woman using my phone, but not to always wanna go thru the phone . . . . . hypertension is real

Nothing wrong in using your partners phone but everything wrong in going through it. You end up finding what you weren't looking for!

Great tnx 2u all. I pray 4d strenght and courage never to check it again,

Pampers:

Great tnx 2u all. I pray 4d strenght and courage never to check it again,

Listen, i will advice u talk to him if there is anything bugging u and disturbing your mind, cos it is not good for you to live in bondage as well, cos you need to be happy, but learn to trust and be happy.
If you are not busy enuf, find stuff to keep u busy.

I used to go thru my partner's phone (because we have trust issues) and got hurt anytime I did that! Then I realised what you dont know wont hurt you. . .

So I dont do dat anymore!

*Sparkles~:

I used to go thru my partner's phone (because we have trust issues) and got hurt anytime I did that! Then I realised what you dont know wont hurt you. . .

So I dont do dat anymore!

Good way to learn

I used to go through my partners phone till he started pay back, going through my phone, questioning every text, every male call and we were always quareling becsue i expected that he will understand the nature of my Job. He did dat for a while before he explained to me that he just wanted me to know how it feels, and how much unnecessary arguements that brings. I really did get it after then because for a while i though he had gone mental till i realised that this was how i was behaving

aisha2:

I used to go through my partners phone till he started pay back, going through my phone, questioning every text, every male call and we were always quareling becsue i expected that he will understand the nature of my Job. He did dat for a while before he explained to me that he just wanted me to know how it feels, and how much unnecessary arguements that brings. I really did get it after then because for a while i though he had gone mental till i realised that this was how i was behaving

So u were giving what u dont like to him.
BTW . . . . .what kinda job would make a married woman be getting texts and different calls?
Na waoh

Fhemmmy:

So u were giving what u dont like to him.
BTW . . . . .what kinda job would make a married woman be getting texts and different calls?
Na waoh

Fheemy, am a social worker, both people who need help and people who want to help call me and text me. I deal with a lot of people everyday, very rich and very poor.
None of the text messages or calls were indecent, he just was on my case trying to prove a point.
Off topic, you made a statement in the political section that really disappointed me oh

aisha2:

Fheemy, am a social worker, both people who need help and people who want to help call me and text me. I deal with a lot of people everyday, very rich and very poor.
None of the text messages or calls were indecent, he just was on my case trying to prove a point.
Off topic, you made a statement in the political section that really disappointed me oh

That is good then.
Offtopic: what was the comment . . . . .always willing to explain and apologize if i have to

Fhemmmy:


That is good then.
Offtopic: what was the comment . . . . .always willing to explain and apologize if i have to

Go check the political section i quoted you. One of the comments about Jos crisis, either the pictures or Jos boils again.

Personally to me, couples have every right to check each others mobile phones, letters and so on unless there is no trust in the marriage to the extend you want to hide things away from each other.

Though as men, we are more guilty of this

It is a sign of insecurity but i would rather know if he is cheating than acting the fool. Why should he keep details of his infidelities on his phone. He is begging to be stopped.

aisha2:

I used to go through my partners phone till he started pay back, going through my phone, questioning every text, every male call and we were always quareling becsue i expected that he will understand the nature of my Job. He did dat for a while before he explained to me that he just wanted me to know how it feels, and how much unnecessary arguements that brings. I really did get it after then because for a while i though he had gone mental till i realised that this was how i was behaving

I think I will try this strategy it may work for me

techie:

I think I will try this strategy it may work for me

Good luck

Fhemmmy:

Listen, i will advice u talk to him if there is anything bugging u and disturbing your mind, cos it is not good for you to live in bondage as well, cos you need to be happy, but learn to trust and be happy.
If you are not busy enuf find stuff to keep u busy.

Lol so it's only idle people that go tru their partners fone?
Personally i find nothing wrong in going tru ur partners fone once the idea is not to check up on him or her. Trust is key in a relationship

tkjoke:

Lol so it's only idle people that go tru their partners fone?
Personally i find nothing wrong in going tru your partners fone once the idea is not to check up on him or her. Trust is key in a relationship

For what other reason will a partner will be going thru the other partner's phone . . . . . please, dont tell me to play games it, cos that is not called going thru a phone, besides, i am sure your fone has games too

No not to play games with. To look at pictures, videos or even read old sms's that known family friends or YOU yourself sent him during an annivesary, valentine or birthday. Just tobring back fond memories.

tkjoke:

No not to play games with. To look at pictures, videos or even read old sms's that known family friends or YOU yourself sent him during an annivesary, valentine or birthday. Just tobring back fond memories.

If you wanna read some text that you sent him during anniversary, how come it is no more on your fone, is it possible that you deleted it,cos of some hanky panky?
To listen to music and watch video, that is still not called going thru his fone, personally when you go thru someone's fone, it means you looking at numbers, and text and all that, and i see no reason for it at all.

Then it means that there are different meanings for the term 'going tru ones fone'. i don't subscibe to screening my partners phone call but i do read his sms's for the reasons stated above. it is a once in a while thing done without the intention of finding something fishy and so its harmless. But if you are suspicious that is when you begin to miscontrue innocent msgs to be what they are not.

tkjoke:

Then it means that there are different meanings for the term 'going tru ones fone'. i don't subscibe to screening my partners phone call but i do read his sms's for the reasons stated above. it is a once in a while thing done without the intention of finding something fishy and so its harmless. But if you are suspicious that is when you begin to miscontrue innocent msgs to be what they are not.

There are different meanings to too many things.
You might be one in a million that will not read anything to some "simple - How u doing" from a lady he never mention to you.
So if you can truly do it without misinterpreting it, then, knock yourself out.
I just think for a healthy relationship, better to stay off going "through" his fone

it all depends on the intent. if it's for snooping, then yeah you should be sent to kirikiri

bawomolo:

it all depends on the intent. if it's for snooping, then yeah you should be sent to kirikiri

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa . . . .u be military man oh

Fhemmmy:

There are different meanings to too many things.
You might be one in a million that will not read anything to some "simple - How u doing" from a lady he never mention to you.
So if you can truly do it without misinterpreting it, then, knock yourself out.
I just think for a healthy relationship, better to stay off going "through" his fone

By a healthy relationship do you mean a fool's paradise?
You know the 'see no evil hear no evil' variant where what you don't know won't kill you?
Because in a marriage where husband and wife are believed to be one i don't believe anything should be hidden from the other. So i see a 'hot' msg on his fone frm a strange lady. It doesn't mean i will immediately jump into conclusions that he is cheating. It doesn't mean i won't ask him either. But i won't be confrontational in my asking like i don't trust him. Rather i will go about it in a teaseful fashion- arms around his neck with a mischievious glint and be like 'awon girlfriend yin ma call' etc etc. There has to be trust in a relationship.

tkjoke:

By a healthy relationship do you mean a fool's paradise?
You know the 'see no evil hear no evil' variant where what you don't know won't kill you?
Because in a marriage where husband and wife are believed to be one i don't believe anything should be hidden from the other. So i see a msg on his fone frm a strange lady. It doesn't mean i will immediately jump into conclusions that he is cheating. It doesn't mean i won't ask him either. But i won't be confrontational in my asking like i don't trust him. Rather i will go about it in a teaseful fashion- arms around his neck with a mischievious glint and be like 'awon girlfriend yin ma call' etc etc. There has to be trust in a relationship.

Like i said, if there is trust, there wont be no reason to go thru his phone, i think we are all adults and if there is something you would like to know, ask the man.

I did say that the reason for going tru his fone is not because i am checking on him