Wow so many comments, first i think u married ur wife because she was ok wit ur financial status, if nt pls can u tel us wat u saw in her in d first place. Am nt married so am nt sure bt u both nided where to vent while she did dat wit a neighbour, u did urs on a faceless forum, do u think urself beta dan her? Wat if ure d probs n she tinks dat way. U highlighted d evils in ur wife bt i didnt see u apreciate her or highlight ur faults. if u luk 4 faults, u will always find dem.

Prognose:


I read the whole thing.
You're not alone bro. The problems you're having is the same kind of problems married people have at this stage of their marriage. This is the setting limits stage. This is where you both draw the line on things you can tolerate and things you won't allow no matter what. This is the stage where you show the kind of man you are and your wife will likewise adapt as a woman. Your problem is nothing out of the ordinary that others in these phase of marriage have experienced.


You didn't see all these flaws in her initially because you were deeply in love with her then. You may have even noticed some of these things but pushed them aside. But now the euphoria of love have gone and both of you are seeing yourselves live and direct. It's not a new thing bros, trust me.

So she nags. Almost all women nag, some nag worse than others. It is kind of your job to be patient with her as the man. Pls try and control your temper, this is what will make you matured and will separate u from being a boy. When she shouts and talks ceaselessly find a way to leave the environment or ignore her, depending on the type u can do. Over time she will learn to control herself.
Her controlling herself and reducing her nagging and your not getting enraged to be slapping her shows that you are both coming of age in the marriage and are understanding each other and becoming mature.


Do you want her to go back to her job? Remember she is pregnant (for the first time) and in a delicate and scared state. She is quite vulnerable right now with the changes going on in her body. Your job at this time is to be as supportive as you can. I don't mean you should become her slave but try and give her more rope when she misbehaves. It gets worse at three to six months of age and then she should start returning back to normal.

Set a boundary for her father. The fact that he has cut the phone on you once is enough to piss you off. He's not married to her, you are. If he calls again tell him politely that this is your family and you have your own plans for your wife. If you don't have the mind to do this then u can just ignore him instead. This is your wife now, he should stop butting in.

Find a job for her to do, no matter how little. Also don't give up on yourself. Every married couple went through this stage, it is those that come out of it that last. If you break up now, what's to say in your next marriage u won't break up again at the first sign of difficulty. Your a postgraduate man, you should be more mature and patient bro.

Find an older married couple you can talk to for advice. Not online o. A respectable married couple or couples preferably from the generation before ours let them tell you what they've been through themselves. Marriage is hard work and the more work you put into it the sweeter it becomes.

Cheers bro.

wow... wonderful piece of advice... God bless you. There are a lot of people passing thru this same who didn't create a thread but just reading comments... your comment might have changed someone's life.. thumbs up

Evaberry:
you are a MAn who is wicked and selfish

just because she refused to become your slave you tag her lazy.. you don't deserve her.
you even slapped her yet she didn't leave you.



you complain too much!!!!

your marriage palava is not our business or wahala.
.
we didn't fuvk her with you!!!!

young lady.. Pls if u don't know what do say.. Berra shut Dat ur mouth and go to bed....

Lizy100:


Why are you so pained darling...oh I nearly forget..hate drains. Op I guess you don't want yo be like him. Take some sugar..I think honey is healthier. At least it will help you live longer to choke on your bitterness and hatred. Receive sense, Amen.

hahaha u just proved me right...u see what i say about this new generation of nigerian women..save all this ur drama for ur future husband but if u already have one..i pity the man he must be going thru hell.please direct him to nairaland so he can come and gist us..actually i have not tasted sugar for over 2yrs now..i take honey..u call it bitterness because am telling him the truthi will never be held down because of one woman and one child never..

cristianisraeli:

u mean the wife that fought his mother? ok oo..please i dont like hearing he married him even when he had nothing..what do u classify as nothing?should a man go rob a bank?nigerian women too money hungry and u can see money in their eyes..am sure they didnt use paper to do wedding right..they use money..look..a man shouldnt die because of one child..he can have more with someone else..life is still sweet and long..hell he can have from different women..thats life..he cant be dieing slowly.dont compare notherners that marry 9yr old to southerners that marry ripe women..

So you think that the OP or you bear no responsibility towards children you choose to bring into the world because life is sweet and long. How is that different from how the almajiris keep springing about?

my point..lets not live a life of sorrow or pain..if its not working..seperation or divorce..is it until the guy kill her with anger?my advise give her 1 year if she doesnt chance..leave her..pack out of the house and leave the house for her and make sure u always pay child support...I SWEAR MARK MY WORD Bluestreams..u will find love again...

Dude, this isn't about love or the woman, the guy hasn't handled his business which is primarily himself and his financial situation. He doesn't have to be super rich btw but he married without a job or any source of income, even a teenager would know that is very irresponsible and he banked on 'hope' even to the point of giving birth and maintaining his home for 2 years...plus he lived off her too. He's having a wrong conversation about sending her packing or not, if you ask me. He owes her an apology and the child too. Person wey no get money naim get pride pass A woman in love won't say no to her emotions, it is rather the man that is supposed to come up with the plan for the home but here the man is clueless and the woman has come to her senses and yet he sees her as the enemy. He is even in debt even. I just pity the little child.

ArcSEMPECJ:
,...is either you are correct or not correct,..because I hav seen a couple without money at first early stage of their marriage but are now comfortable,..likewise a couple in money at first stage but ran out of cash as things turn. Around....so the issue here is not about being financially capable but capable. Enough to handle any condition one finds in a marriage and that needs an understanding. Patience and focused couple to achieve that,..pls change your mindset

I absolutely agree. However the guy in this situation does not really want to do better. He is comfortable at his level and doesn't have any intention of working harder to change his financial situation.

TheEminentLaity:

So you think that the OP or you bear no responsibility towards children you choose to bring into the world because life is sweet and long. How is that different from how the almajiris keep springing about?

Dude, this isn't about love or the woman, the guy hasn't handled his business which is primarily himself and his financial situation. He doesn't have to be super rich btw but he married without a job or any source of income, even a teenager would know that is very irresponsible and he banked on 'hope' even to the point of giving birth and maintaining his home for 2 years...He's having a wrong conversation about sending her packing or not, if you ask me. Person wey no get money get naim get pride pass

Exactly

Why are men attacking evaberry as if they will not give similar advice if op was a woman?

Evaberry:
you are a MAn who is wicked and selfish

just because she refused to become your slave you tag her lazy.. you don't deserve her.
you even slapped her yet she didn't leave you.



you complain too much!!!!

your marriage palava is not our business or wahala.
.
we didn't fuvk her with you!!!!

typical new generation nigerian woman..i pity ur future husband and if u are married..i pity the man...if u have a boyfriend.ha i pity the boy...continue with ur yeye talks..dont worry ur boyfriend/husband will find his way here and create a topic about u soon..lol..i bet u want to head butt me..kick me in the balls or slap me right now...lol..u better change and dont put ur future man thru hell and stop making ur present bf go thru hell...change..am waiting for ur insult..so i can fire back

The op himself sounded so one sided when telling his story. I refuse to believe he is as innocent as he is trying to potray himself. Until I hear both sides of the story I am not taking sides.

Evaberry:
you are a MAn who is wicked and selfish

just because she refused to become your slave you tag her lazy.. you don't deserve her.
you even slapped her yet she didn't leave you.



you complain too much!!!!

your marriage palava is not our business or wahala.
.
we didn't fuvk her with you!!!!

who is this. you need to grow pls.

FortuneTeller:


I absolutely agree. However the guy in this situation does not really want to do better. He is comfortable at his level and doesn't have any intention of working harder to change his financial situation.

pls go thro d write-up again

[quote author=nahzyla post=58561676]The op himself sounded so one sided when telling his story. I refuse to believe he is as innocent as he is trying to potray himself. Until I hear both sides of the story I am not taking sides.[/quote

i agree but this woman fought his mother?what else do u need pictures..lol

cristianisraeli:


typical new generation nigerian woman..i pity ur future husband and if u are married..i pity the man...if u have a boyfriend.ha i pity the boy...continue with ur yeye talks..dont worry ur boyfriend/husband will find his way here and create a topic about u soon..lol..i bet u want to head butt me..kick me in the balls or slap me right now...lol..u better change and dont put ur future man thru hell and stop making ur present bf go thru hell...change..am waiting for ur insult..so i can fire back

I wanted to talk more but I think she has had the best advice from you. she needs serious help

My brother this things happens all the time, must of the girls this days will be like i want to get married and once they come in.They will show you another side which they have really reserve to make life miserable for men.


God will surely save us

EntMirror:


A lot of people want to learn for sure. But not all have the finance to start it.. At least, 80% of people who have mailed me have no capital. I can't help financially cause I'm not running a charity organisation. To get money, money must be spent.

The aim of my blog is to cover as many lucrative businesses one can do in Nigeria.. As many as possible.. I want to cover every nook and cranny. Even how to make money selling fish.. Funny but people are making thousands from it. However, we always overlook them. A friend of mine Is a millionaire and guess what he does.. Snail farming!

My blog is rich with some business ideas.. I keep updating daily.. Currently writing a book too.. Book that WIL surely help as many people as possible. This is my aim till I die.. I have all the time now...

How did you become financially free ? or are you retired from a government job?

[quote author=cristianisraeli post=58561719][/quote] you didnt quote me properly. @your post, how are we sure OP is not adding salt and pepper to his story.

TheEminentLaity:

So you think that the OP or you bear no responsibility towards children you choose to bring into the world because life is sweet and long. How is that different from how the almajiris keep springing about?

Dude, this isn't about love or the woman, the guy hasn't handled his business which is primarily himself and his financial situation. He doesn't have to be super rich btw but he married without a job or any source of income, even a teenager would know that is very irresponsible and he banked on 'hope' even to the point of giving birth and maintaining his home for 2 years...plus he lived off her too. He's having a wrong conversation about sending her packing or not, if you ask me. He owes her an apology and the child too. Person wey no get money naim get pride pass A woman in love won't say no to her emotions, it is rather the man that is supposed to come up with the plan for the home but here the man is clueless and the woman has come to her senses and yet he sees her as the enemy. He is even in debt even. I just pity the little child.

theres no crime in bringing kids into this world..as long as u can pay something called CHILD SUPPORT..yes he should go and rob a bank because hes married..what happened to for better for worse??tell me..what is wrong with ur wife supporting the family when u are down??why do nigerian women always cry when they do small thing for a man??i think he shouldnt send her packing..i think he should give her 1 year and if she doesnt change he should leave the house and pay child support..which kind yeye apology bi that man..i swear man need money..unless women go mess with person life..

[/quote] quote author=EntMirror post=58559625]
A lot of people want to learn for sure. But not all have the finance to start it.. At least, 80% of people who have mailed me have no capital. I can't help financially cause I'm not running a charity organisation. To get money, money must be spent.
The aim of my blog is to cover as many lucrative businesses one can do in Nigeria.. As many as possible.. I want to cover every nook and cranny. Even how to make money selling fish.. Funny but people are making thousands from it. However, we always overlook them. A friend of mine Is a millionaire and guess what he does.. Snail farming!
My blog is rich with some business ideas.. I keep updating daily.. Currently writing a book too.. Book that WIL surely help as many people as possible. This is my aim till I die.. I have all the time now... [/quote]




How did you become financially free ? or are you retired from a government job?

nahzyla:

you didnt quote me properly.
@your post, how are we sure OP is not adding salt and pepper to his story.

he could be adding honey sef..but when ur wife fights ur mother she crossed the line and if u fight ur wife mother u cross the line..no matter what a woman should never carry her madness to ones mother..even if ur mother slaps her..

cristianisraeli:


hahaha seems like u know the woman very well..a woman is frustrating a mans life and u are asking him to stay there like mario..lol.. there are lots of women out there looking for a good man..u know we nigerians we like saying E GO BETTER..E GO BETTER E GO BETTER..nigeria is still the same way..life is sweet and its one life..i swear money is good...when u have money a woman cant mess around..the new generation of nigerian women are something else..i would never marry a nigerian woman because i want to live a long life..them too get wahala..always money hungry..once the money stop coming ur life will be a livinghell..lastly..do u know some women will not want to leave u but frustrate u to make u leave them..

Stop advising married people. You are single and you have no idea what marriage is.

cristianisraeli:


he could be adding honey sef..but when ur wife fights ur mother she crossed the line and if u fight ur wife mother u cross the line..no matter what a woman should never carry her madness to ones mother..even if ur mother slaps her..

I don't believe the op story 100 percent. he might be lying about his wife fighting his mother. anyone can claim anything on the internet.

Billyonaire:


Stop advising married people. You are single and you have no idea what marriage is.

ur mumu long pass donghai bridge..its written on my forehead that am single abi...MUST SOMEONE SAY EVERYTHING ON NAIRALAND..B4 U CAN DECODE..should i JUST COME OUT HERE AND SAY AM MARRIED BLAH BLAH BLAH..from what i say the WISE ones will know whatsup..u are obviously not wise..and if u dont know donghai bridge..its one of the longest bridges in the world

Its one of those things in marriage...Maturity is key,handle it wisely...divorce is nt an option...with time,this stage,phase, you gon pass through,will make you understand what marriage is all about..Ever wonder why our parents stay this long in marriages,patience,endurance etc....Good luck man.

No... I was into importation 7 years ago. Got so much cash that I had to invest into numerous goldmines like real estate and agriculture.. I have to stop importing.. The exchange rate wasn't funny but I've made enough and my investments are alive.. So.. I just retired myself. If there are two things i hate in life, it's the government and school.

Acecube:
How did you become financially free ? or are you retired from a government job?

nahzyla:

I don't believe the op story 100 percent. he might be lying about his wife fighting his mother. anyone can claim anything on the internet.

yes u are right..the story might even be fake..very true..but the story sounds and feels real..the guy is going thru pain...we have 3,710,295,643. women in the world..why kill urself and get HBP for just one woman??

A woman that cannot cook, clean the house, insults the husband, talkative, wanting the easy way out all the time?, There is no need to spiritualize marriage as if God wld come down from heaven, both must be ready to make the marriage work. So many couples have this experience in early periods of marriage as the reality sets in and without proper handling, the marriage packs up.

Even though ur own flaws are subsumed, the ball is in your court. Marriage is work, not a bed of roses. She is thinking opposite to me, strolling into the park. Do a family meeting between the parents after u have taken her to the parents for a while, and keep sending upkeep money well to them. All expectations from both of u be tabled and the workable and agreeable ones reconciled between you both. Come back home and let each of u be committed to ur reconciled position and take it from there. Set targets for each of u to work upon, and check yourself and performance. That is work now, which is on the home front. I like the fact that u are doing business and hustling. Keep on, it will get u to our financial stability. Continue and ensure that you make her work, either a business she likes or can do well. If you can make it to the 6th year in this manner, then the marriage will stabilize and fall into auto status. The early times of the blinded eyes to love is the challenge, and many young men unfortunately don't have the perseverance to bear it, especially with a lady like this.

cristianisraeli:


ur mumu long pass donghai bridge..its written on my forehead that am single abi...MUST SOMEONE SAY EVERYTHING ON NAIRALAND..B4 U CAN DECODE..should i JUST COME OUT HERE AND SAY AM MARRIED BLAH BLAH BLAH..from what i say the WISE ones will know whatsup..u are obviously not wise..and if u dont know donghai bridge..its one of the longest bridges in the world

Obviously you are married to an idiot, because if you are married, then it must be to a fool. You are here without emotional control insulting people when you can hardly be successful in life and in death.

Stupid thing, the next time you want to insult, look up the username and do not attempt to repeat this nonsense. A condom would have saved us all from this nonsense if your papa could afford one.

Useless thing.

EntMirror:
No... I was into importation 7 years ago. Got so much cash that I had to invest into numerous goldmines like real estate and agriculture.. I have to stop importing.. The exchange rate wasn't funny but I've made enough and my investments are alive.. So.. I just retired myself. If there are two things i hate in life, it's the government and school.

wow... but I guess you finished from a tertiary institution despite your dislike for school...

Billyonaire:


Obviously you are married to an idiot, because if you are married, then it must be to a fool. You are here without emotional control insulting people when you can hardly be successful in life and in death.

Stupid thing, the next time you want to insult, look up the username and do not attempt to repeat this nonsense. A condom would have saved us all from this nonsense if your papa could afford one.

Useless thing.

hahaha stupid boy.DID I HIT A NERVE..LOLu had to insult my father??LOL..when u change ur name to [b]BILLIONAIRE COME BACK I WILL HAVE UR TIME,because WITH UR STUPIDITY U WILL NEVER BECOME ONE..u see where u are stupid...it would be hard for u to decode if am married or not..do i sound like someone that is married to an idiot...lol..keep livng in ur little boy dreams..yea i see ur username..little boy that live on nairaland..u are a bastard atleast me i get papa..i swear my kind of success is what u wish for little kitten...always forming champion on nairaland..i have insulted no one..i speak the truth..u want to go back and forth bring it on little boy..as i said ur mumu long pass Hangzhou Bay Bridge...look it on on google poo head..keep on dreaming little kitten..u think because u talk crap and u have posted crap 16k times.means i should fear u..lol..i swear i would gladly shift ur jaw with one right hook..lol..i think say we never meet..well my name is christianisraeli..nice to meet u too..where ur craze stop my own start..i get ur medicine,,carry ur gra gra come myside and i will gladly balance u..but i think ur a demented fellow..but i can handle ur maddness..u can hit below the belt u are free.but i wish u can say it to my face in a ring..just one on one..we go use ur toy private jet carry u..lol..little kitten with dreams..

Jonwesley:
A woman that cannot cook, clean the house, insults the husband, talkative, wanting the easy way out all the time?, There is no need to spiritualize marriage as if God wld come down from heaven, both must be ready to make the marriage work. So many couples have this experience in early periods of marriage as the reality sets in and without proper handling, the marriage packs up.

Even though ur own flaws are subsumed, the ball is in your court. Marriage is work, not a bed of roses. She is thinking opposite to me, strolling into the park. Do a family meeting between the parents after u have taken her to the parents for a while why sending upkeep money well to them. All expectations from both of u be tabled and the workable and agreeable ones reconciled between you both. Come back home and let each of u be committed to ur reconciled position and take it from there.

the woman is a lazy woman for real..what do u expect from someone that gets salary without working??

who and you dey do child support for nigeria with all the almajiri? You think if OP knew about a quarter of intricacies of child support, if enforced, he would even get married in the first place with his warped thinking. I still maintain he thinks/thought like an almajiri father and you too. Life is sweet so why did he get married, can't he sleep with anyone or thing without getting married and giving birth to a child? I should be surprised many people are supporting such irresponsibility, the failure of the nigerian soceity starts from the home. If he sends the wife away, the child would hate the father, and would grow up knowing that s/he has a father that abandoned him/her and is somewhere, followed your advice, married another sweety and continue producing like lab mice.

I won't entertain blanket generalisations like 'nigerian women' ... and there is nothing wrong with the wife supporting but can't you even see that she has run out of gas on her support...didn't he acknowledge that she isn't stingy. He lived off her from the get go and she didn't kick him out. The whole narrative is nauseating tbh he isn't providing yet he wants her slaveship, even insults her when she is pregnant, all the while living off her from a job her father provided for his daughter. The world dn pass that one o. Women are getting more and more educated and no educated person would go about mopping floors for a husband that doesn't fulfil his end of the bargain.

** Nigerian women, contrary to what you believe, are the ones that are most likely to put up with the BS the OP described. He slapped her two times and intends to send her away but he cannot use that energy to clean up, cut loose ends and fix his financial situation.

cristianisraeli:


theres no crime in bringing kids into this world..as long as u can pay something called CHILD SUPPORT..yes he should go and rob a bank because hes married..what happened to for better for worse??tell me..what is wrong with ur wife supporting the family when u are down??why do nigerian women always cry when they do small thing for a man??i think he shouldnt send her packing..i think he should give her 1 year and if she doesnt change he should leave the house and pay child support..which kind yeye apology bi that man..i swear man need money..unless women go mess with person life..