When it comes to love and relationships, the playing field can seem mind boggling at times.

You want him to love you and respect you and sometimes that sounds like a challenge. Ever wondered what makes a man respect a woman?

The truth is, there is no fast way to earning a man’s respect. You can’t make him respect you anymore than he can make you respect him. If you want to know how to make a man respect you, be the woman worth that respect.

With that in mind, here’s how to go from doormat to the woman of his dreams.

1. Challenge him.
A man loves a woman who he can have a friendly debate with. Express your opinions even if they are different than his, in fact, especially if they are different than his. Disagreeing with someone without putting them down is a fine art. Learn that art and use it in your conversations with men. He will highly respect your ability to hold your own.

2. Laugh at yourself.
A woman who can trip down a set of stairs on a first date and then make a joke about it will earn his instant respect. It sends the message to him that you are easy to be with, and don’t expect everybody to be perfect.

Note, there’s a fine line between laughing at yourself and putting yourself down. Learn where that fine line is, and stay away from it by laughing at your faux pas every now and then but not insulting yourself.

3. Respect yourself.
Your nonverbal communication plays a big role here. This has a lot to do with laughing at yourself, but goes a little deeper. If you don’t respect yourself, he will know it, no matter what you say to try and hide it. And if you don’t respect yourself, you have no business expecting him to either. Nonverbal cues that show off your confidence, such as smiling, sitting up straight, laughing out loud and things like this show him that you are pleased with yourself and don’t mind showing it.

4. Give respect.
You will get as good as you give in love, so if you don’t show him ways that you respect him, he is not going to give that back. Respect his space, his privacy, his time, his honesty, and even thank him for it. “Thanks for calling me back, thanks for the invitation” you get the picture. A simple thank you goes a very long way in earning his respect, it shows him that you appreciate his efforts, and your happiness is all men really want from the woman they love.

5. Be honest.
This is a day and age where true honesty is difficult to come by. Always be honest with him, even when he won’t like what you have to say. There’s something to be said about a woman who isn’t afraid to keep things real. When he knows you are always honest with him, he will not only give that back, but you earn his respect as a quality person as well.

6. Share your ambitions.
Make sure it’s clear that you have life goals of your own that you aren’t willing to compromise. Don’t hide what you want from life from him just because you aren’t sure what he’ll think or whether he’ll approve. Hiding who you really are is not a behavior that garners respect from men (or anyone, really).

Men respect goals and ambition, as they are very familiar with these traits. Just make sure that whatever your goals, they are indeed yours. Don’t borrow his goals and share them back to him as yours also. You’ll lose, rather than gain his respect.

7. You teach him how to treat you.
A woman who knows her worth and doesn’t put up with anything less than that is a woman that not only earns his respect, but the respect of all of those around her. If he says something that is a little out there or disrespectful, call him on it. If he shows up late or doesn’t keep his promises, call him out on it. When he knows that you won’t put up with certain things, it puts him in check and if he really wants you, he will correct the behavior.

Note, this is another area with a fine line. Calmly mentioning that you’re not pleased about him showing up an hour late is much different than tearing him a new one over a genuine delay. Practice th