Easy peazy. U did not disrespect your elder so why should you condone disrespect.

Solution is cut such teen off. Ur word should be law. Go to that party and never come back home period.
Cut all support, finances, free food, accommodation, love etc.

Just freez ur heart against such teen.
By the way you can no longer beat that teen to avoid the embarrassment of been beaten.

Thank me latter

Mouthgag:

No 1 is INVALID.

Bros that's the most effective!

Rebelutionary:

Really? Wow! Maybe u shd have defined in simplest terms wat ur definition if discipline is that should apply to every teen should be....I mean, give us a template that is all encompassing!

Mr. if the "abuse" u r referring to produced MOST responsible ADULTS that we have today then i think that abuse is recommended!

I await ur template discipline that should apply!

I'm not going to get drawn into specifics because I don't have the strength neither the time to educate you on that.

Parenting is a hard task but we Africans go the easy route by using anything that we see around to hit the child all in the name of discipline. You need to see the way some parents go about it, with so much anger, you can literally see fury in their eyes. The irony of it is that they'd describe it to you as "love".

I would rather go with punishments and cutting out certain (if not all) privileges and make him/her understand the rules and consequences. Meanwhile, him/her should understand the reason of your actions.

There are many psychological effects associated with "abuse" which I'm sure you don't know. It dampens creativity, innovation and it basically result to kids growing to be robots.

There are lots to say, I'm tired.

I totally agree with the OP. I know my father as being difficult and whining. I know he has the most well behaved kids. His kids have never stolen from him or anyone. He has never been called by anyone for something his kids did. However, instead of being grateful he is whining, complicated and difficult with us. You need to be in my family to understand what I am saying. It is sad that most people here talk with ignorance. My father his disrespectful to us all including my mom. From calling us names and all other excesses I don't care to recount. If you think children should be respected to get respect from them back then you are unintelligent. Pray to God if you have problems with your children. Respect them, talk to them, be friends with them. It isn't about beating and flogging. You cultivate a terrible relationship with them from doing that. You drift far apart. U can only cower them as toddlers. When they become full adults what would you do then? Get into fights with them or curse them out when they don't do what you want.

I think it's better to be respected than feared. You won't be feared forever. It would only grow into hatred and detestment.

---

[b][/b]if you think children shouldn't be respected

imma2:
I'm not against putting a stance on discipline but I'm concerned at how what you coin "discipline" can easily be "abuse"

Most Nigerian adults don't know they were simply abused as children.

Really? Wow! Maybe u shd have defined in simplest terms wat ur definition if discipline is that should apply to every teen should be....I mean, give us a template that is all encompassing!

Mr. if the "abuse" u r referring to produced MOST responsible ADULTS that we have today then i think that abuse is recommended!

I await ur template discipline that should apply!

imma2:
I'm not going to get drawn into specifics because I don't have the strength neither the time to educate you on that.

Parenting is a hard task but we Africans go the easy route by using anything that we see around to hit the child all in the name of discipline. You need to see the way some parents go about it, with so much anger, you can literally see fury in their eyes. The irony of it is that they'd describe it to you as "love".

I would rather go with punishments and cutting out certain (if not all) privileges and make him/her understand the rules and consequences. Meanwhile, him/her should understand the reason of your actions.

There are many psychological effects associated with "abuse" which I'm sure you don't know. It dampens creativity, innovation and it basically result to kids growing to be robots.

There are lots to say, I'm tired.

See I get ur point but making it look like u hold some magic wand on this issue of discipline from ur initial submission is why I called u out...

Kids DIFFER and for that different methods apply. Just because one method u apply on one works doesn't mean it will work on another. So becos u have kids n one certain method works on them is enough

imma2:
I'm not going to get drawn into specifics because I don't have the strength neither the time to educate you on that.

Parenting is a hard task but we Africans go the easy route by using anything that we see around to hit the child all in the name of discipline. You need to see the way some parents go about it, with so much anger, you can literally see fury in their eyes. The irony of it is that they'd describe it to you as "love".

I would rather go with punishments and cutting out certain (if not all) privileges and make him/her understand the rules and consequences. Meanwhile, him/her should understand the reason of your actions.

There are many psychological effects associated with "abuse" which I'm sure you don't know. It dampens creativity, innovation and it basically result to kids growing to be robots.

There are lots to say, I'm tired.

See I get ur point but making it look like u hold some magic wand on this issue of discipline from ur initial submission is why I called u out...n u dd it again by saying u r sure I am nt aware of some psychological effects of "abuse"...really?

U said MOST ADULTS from ur initial position but u have now shifted grounds to "some parents"...which would have been a more tenable submission!

Kids DIFFER and for that reason different methods shd b applied.

Just because one method u apply on one works doesn't mean it will work on another. Take this to the bank!

So becos u have kids n one certain method works on them is not enough reason every other method employed is "abuse" just because it doesn't suit what u are accustomed to and for as long as it is used within limits.

I won't deny that discipline jst like any other tool can be abused and is bn abused but saying that MOST people that are adults today who were disciplined back then ddnt know they were abused is a big No No!

So most of d adults that according to you were "abused" have gotten their creativity dampened! Wow

Goodnight

Jgr8ola:

Bros that's the most effective!

You must be sick..

imma2:
I'm not against putting a stance on discipline but I'm concerned at how what you coin "discipline" can easily be "abuse"

Most Nigerian adults don't know they were simply abused as children.

Neither do the children know how they are abusing us

obinna58:
.

Bros that comment is 100% intelligent

Rebelutionary:

See I get ur point but making it look like u hold some magic wand on this issue of discipline from ur initial submission is why I called u out...n u dd it again by saying u r sure I am nt aware of some psychological effects of "abuse"...really?

U said MOST ADULTS from ur initial position but u have now shifted grounds to "some parents"...which would have been a more tenable submission!

Kids DIFFER and for that reason different methods shd b applied.

Just because one method u apply on one works doesn't mean it will work on another. Take this to the bank!

So becos u have kids n one certain method works on them is not enough reason every other method employed is "abuse" just because it doesn't suit what u are accustomed to and for as long as it is used within limits.

I won't deny that discipline jst like any other tool can be abused and is bn abused but saying that MOST people that are adults today who were disciplined back then ddnt know they were abused is a big No No!

So most of d adults that according to you were "abused" have gotten their creativity dampened! Wow

Goodnight

I agree with you on most of your assertions but we as Africans undermine the effect of our mental development. We like to waive it because we feel it's native to the white man's land.

As I said, parenting is hard and you have to use your mental abilities to think of ways to solve an erring teen. So doing this is not a solution for all.

I see parents that use all those awful things that people are describing like wire and all sorts as lazy

Who do you think wields true power? We need to start developing ourselves mentally and not by unnecessary show of physical power.

For that statement "Most adults have gotten their creativity dampened" is just one of the effects. Most times, it happens but not always the case. There are plenty effects of what child abuse can do to the development of a child.


Modified: I would still keep my stance "Most parents don't know that they were abused as children"

Look at our society today. It is just full of hypocrisy. With all the so could "abuse" in the guise of "discipline". What have we been able to achieve? We had resources that would rival most countries on earth but what did we do with it?

Durentt:
village nigeria girl, go to oshodi and flog the hell out of your child even mark his face. Nobody cares!

That's why nigeria would never develop, upon all the flogging, look at the type of adult nigerians in the society. Very corrupt and non trustworthy.
But dont take your "discipline" out of nigeria before you spend your rest life sucking pussies in jail.

So how 'Trustworthy' are ur onyibo children?

Inanna:
What happened to the good old hangers, belts, shoes, sticks, canes, wires(both thin and fat), slippers, ladle(for turning garri), bucket, mopstick, hand, fists, fan, walking stick, broom etc that has been resetting us back to default since time immemorial?
The problem is, Nigerian parents of today are pûssies. They're all forming the bullshit new generation parenting skills that believes beating a child is abuse and dialogue is the best way to correct an erring child. That's why there are so many wayward and incorrigible children around.
God knows I'm going to beat the the stupidity out of my children if they ever go astray. If I wasn't beaten as a child/teenager, only God knows what I'd have turned into.

So what have you turned out to be with all the beatings, Zuckerberg? ??

spidey77:


So how 'Trustworthy' are ur onyibo children?

Swear to God that you can trust a nigeria Man?

Always looking for ways to outsmart people.

Home training indeed!
Don't sit and teach your kids manners like normal humanbeings would, be flogging like goats.

spidey77:

Neither do the children know how they are abusing us

LOL!!!

I'm not talking about calling your children all sorts of awful names. That's not the abuse I'm talking about here. Just in case you've got me wrong.

It's despicable that you can turn around to say that children don't know that they abuse adults. You brought them into this world for Christ sake and the last time I checked, they didn't beg to be brought into this world.

All I'm saying, raise your children sensibly not a raging bull who is ruled by emotions.

Gebbson007:




Y'all should chill na ,we teen are human being too jor for d fact that we cn be stubborn n annoying sometimes doesn't mean u Should torture us like a criminal.i am totally against disrespecting adults n all but we are human too all is needed a sometime is talk n guardians nt GBA GBO GBI (beating) . beating doesn't really solve everyone like the case of ANINI or so beatings made him hard and all .

Thanks.

Kid, Anini did not spoil out of too much beatings, he escalated as a result of bad example. His father was a criminal and coupled guns as well as sampled loots in front of the kid.
I guess u were not born then, but research before u type...Thanks

imma2:
LOL!!!

I'm not talking about calling your children all sorts of awful names. That's not the abuse I'm talking about here. Just in case you've got me wrong.

It's despicable that you can turn around to say that children don't know that they abuse adults. You brought them into this world for Christ sake and the last time I checked, they didn't beg to be brought into this world.

All I'm saying, raise your children sensibly not a raging bull who is ruled by emotions.

Now let me ask you two questions

1. Look at the moral breakdown now, compare it with DAT of like 5-10 years ago

2. What do u think went wrong, westernization or reduction in the no. of churches?

I am not saying u should turn to an outright bully (nobody likes DAT) but for Gods sake, God did not make you a parent for nothing, if he wanted u to b just his friend, he would have made you his brother. A leader is a person of authority (authority with love - that's what our parents did)!!!

God did not put 'spare the rod...' simply because he did not have what to say....

spidey77:


Kid, Anini did not spoil out of too much beatings, he escalated as a result of bad example. His father was a criminal and coupled guns as well as sampled loots in front of the kid.
I guess u were not born then, but research before u type...Thanks

yahoo boys also had yahoo fathers?
Such an idiot.
I pity nigerians, only going to church for hypocrisy and flogging kids like dog they are good at.
They never communicate with their kids, they never know their kids.

I don't blame you, you were abused and battered as a child. Keep gaining pride in nonsense.

Durentt:
yahoo boys also had yahoo fathers?
Such an idiot.
I pity nigerians, only going to church for hypocrisy and flogging kids like dog they are good at.
They never communicate with their kids, they never know their kids.

I don't blame you, you were abused and battered as a child. Keep gaining pride in nonsense.

There goes the language of a well raised Americana in a conversation....Abuses and curses.

So what are u insinuating in a nut shell?

Durentt:
Swear to God that you can trust a nigeria Man?

Always looking for ways to outsmart people.

Home training indeed!
Don't sit and teach your kids manners like normal humanbeings would, be flogging like goats.

You did not answer the question....How trust worthy are your onyibo kids?

spidey77:


There goes the language of a well raised Americana in a conversation....Abuses and curses.

So what are u insinuating in a nut shell?

The truth sounds like cuss to you? 23:14, The average Nigeria Youth with "good home training" is somewhere with his laptop looking for who to swindle to reap where he didn't sow.
The females are something else.

spidey77:


You did not answer the question....How trust worthy are your onyibo kids?

i am not onyibo. My father is from Nigeria, my mother is From France. I am a nigerian like you talking against what is wrong.

spidey77:


Now let me ask you two questions

1. Look at the moral breakdown now, compare it with DAT of like 5-10 years ago

2. What do u think went wrong, westernization or reduction in the no. of churches?

I am not saying u should turn to an outright bully (nobody likes DAT) but for Gods sake, God did not make you a parent for nothing, if he wanted u to b just his friend, he would have made you his brother. A leader is a person of authority (authority with love - that's what our parents did)!!!

God did not put 'spare the rod...' simply because he did not have what to say....

I love your last paragraph and I believe you're getting a little grasp of what I'm trying to point at here. I'm not in anyway telling you to be a friend to your child rather, you should be a parent and a very stern one at that.

The moral degradation as you mentioned can be attributed to parents who are not actually fit to be parents. We know our society encourages marriage at a certain age not realising that it's not everyone that is cut out for that. How long do you think it would take that child before he adapts to all your constant rambling and beatings?

You should be better than kids when it comes to tactical warfare and manipulations which can be used to bring up kids in a right way. This does not involve any show of aggression.

Goodnight..

This is a good piece. Respect is reciprocal. Not everytime does beating and whipping works, sometimes you need a personal relationship with your children and let them see you as your best friend as well. But overall let's pray for children that will listen to us and be obedient. Cus even if you use more than rod to spoil some children there'll still be very disobedient and hardened. I think that's where prayer comes in too
I totally agree with this post

Durentt:
yahoo boys also had yahoo fathers?
Such an idiot.
I pity nigerians, only going to church for hypocrisy and flogging kids like dog they are good at.
They never communicate with their kids, they never know their kids.

I don't blame you, you were abused and battered as a child. Keep gaining pride in nonsense.

You have a very valid point here but I believe you can still communicate your values without abuse.

A learned person should always understand that it's not everyone that must agree with his/her views

Durentt:
The truth sounds like cuss to you? 23:14, The average Nigeria Youth with "good home training" is somewhere with his laptop looking for who to swindle to reap where he didn't sow.
The females are something else.

And 'Well-bred' whitees with incredible home trainings don't do DAT too? or is it bcus the country has a bad name means DAT others are saints?

Check the list of the most currupt countries in the world and educate yourself. The country has a bad name does not make other countries saints. Check the list of top drug lords or worst hackers n see if u will see a Nigerian's name

temiitayo:
This is a good piece. Respect is reciprocal. Not everytime does beating and whipping works, sometimes you need a personal relationship with your children and let them see you as your best friend as well. But overall let's pray for children that will listen to us and be obedient. Cus even if you use more than rod to spoil some children there'll still be very disobedient and hardened. I think that's where prayer comes in too
I totally agree with this post

If you want to be the best friend to your kids, that's where all you problems would start. Don't say I didn't warn you

imma2:
I love your last paragraph and I believe you're getting a little grasp of what I'm trying to point at here. I'm not in anyway telling you to be a friend to your child rather, you should be a parent and a very stern one at that.

The moral degradation as you mentioned can be attributed to parents who are not actually fit to be parents. We know our society encourages marriage at a certain age not realising that it's not everyone that is cut out for that. How long do you think it would take that child before he adapts to all your constant rambling and beatings?

You should be better than kids when it comes to tactical warfare and manipulations which can be used to bring up kids in a right way. This does not involve any show of aggression.

Goodnight..

Well, i totally agree with you there. May God give us the grace to train our children well...Have a lovely nite too

imma2:
You have a very valid point here but I believe you can still communicate your values without abuse.

A learned person should always understand that it's not everyone that must agree with his/her views

my apologies

spidey77:


And 'Well-bred' whitees with incredible home trainings don't do DAT too? or is it bcus the country has a bad name means DAT others are saints?

Check the list of the most currupt countries in the world and educate yourself. The country has a bad name does not make other countries saints. Check the list of top drug lords or worst hackers n see if u will see a Nigerian's name

apologies

I think we ought to balance it sha.... the naija aspect and American aspect.... but if my pikin Bleep up... I go warn am first(conversation) and then leave stamps of slaps on his/her face

whytemon:
I totally agree with the OP. I know my father as being difficult and whining. I know he has the most well behaved kids. His kids have never stolen from him or anyone. He has never been called by anyone for something his kids did. However, instead of being grateful he is whining, complicated and difficult with us. You need to be in my family to understand what I am saying. It is sad that most people here talk with ignorance. My father his disrespectful to us all including my mom. From calling us names and all other excesses I don't care to recount. If you think children should be respected to get respect from them back then you are unintelligent. Pray to God if you have problems with your children. Respect them, talk to them, be friends with them. It isn't about beating and flogging. You cultivate a terrible relationship with them from doing that. You drift far apart. U can only cower them as toddlers. When they become full adults what would you do then? Get into fights with them or curse them out when they don't do what you want.

I think it's better to be respected than feared. You won't be feared forever. It would only grow into hatred and detestment.

---

great one ....my dad is just like that...but only say im Don observe say we don too big to beat