How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. - Family (2)

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How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. - Family (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. (5389 Views)

Should Marital Advice Be Taken From An Unmarried(single) Person / Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling / How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by Nobody: 10:06am On Aug 30, 2017

I don't blame you, I blame your sister she has allowed you people to see her finish.

if she got a herself a good job, moved out to another town while minding her business nobody will have have the guts to be stressing about her singleness and her posting pictures on Facebook.

she should better give herself levels mtseew.

11 Likes

Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by itzmarvyx(m): 10:30am On Aug 30, 2017

holyboii:
most of all the ladies above are singles.

its not even about she getting married okay shebi she want to slay let her leave the house and stop disturbing people

senseless ladies everywhere

See the way they are attacking the poor guy instead of addressing the issue. Slay queens grin

I guess they are in the same league... Ladies never seem to amuse me.

1 Like

Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by Viking007(m): 11:32am On Aug 30, 2017

[s]

Proudgorgeousga:
I don't blame you, I blame your sister she has allowed you people to see her finish.

if she got a herself a good job, moved out to another town while minding her business nobody will have have the guts to be stressing about her singleness and her posting pictures on Facebook.

she should better give herself levels mtseew.

[/s]You've made zero sense. kiss

7 Likes

Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by Nobody: 11:39am On Aug 30, 2017

Viking007:
[s][/s]You've made zero sense.

what is this thing? is it a person or a bot

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by Abiagirl777(f): 11:41am On Aug 30, 2017

Acidosis:

That's the characteristics of a slay queen.

They are always looking for a man that will tolerate their deficiencies. They're never ready to change their bad attitudes.

r u perfect?

9 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by Abiagirl777(f): 11:54am On Aug 30, 2017

lilmax:
I guess you didn't read the " toying with men part "

how do you get the right one when you search for crappy men?

@29 you still post pictures, toy with men?

is that something you wish you blood related?

she is a carefree person.besides if she actually toys with men and then gets married with that attitude,wouldn't it result to domestic violence cos of that lifestyle.
my elder sis was in her shoes before.at a time our parents were mounting pressure on her we the younger siblings told them to leave her alone.
she is married now but with the man she loves not under pressure.
They are simply irritated by her presence in the home nothing more. If she were to be leaving alone and giving them money,none of them will insult or fight her.
The same way you guys don't want to pressured into marriage the same way women shouldn't.
Marriage is not an achievement!
BTW I'm happily married with 2 boys...

4 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by lilmax(m): 11:56am On Aug 30, 2017

Humanistme:

I didn't understand the correlation between posting pictures on Facebook and toying with men.

@29 humans should be responsible..... not toying with men, she's mature, that's the point

Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by Nobody: 11:58am On Aug 30, 2017

Abiagirl777:

she violent and may be death if her husband who she ran to out of pressure beats her up is a carefree person.besides if she actually toys with men and then gets married with that attitude,wouldn't it result to domestic voilrnce cos of that lifestyle.
my elder sis was in her shoes before.at a time our parents were mounting pressure on her we the younger siblings told them to leave her alone.
she is married now but with the man she loves not under pressure.
They are simply irritated by her presence in the home nothing more. If she were to be leaving alone and giving them money,none of them will insult or fight her.
The same way you guys doesn't want to pressured into marriage the same way women shouldn't.
Marriage is not an achievement!
BTW I'm happily married with 2 boys...

exactly. May be her parents are still responsible for her that's why they are irritated.

Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by Humanistme: 12:03pm On Aug 30, 2017

lilmax:
@29 humans should be responsible..... not toying with men, she's mature, that's the point

I don't understand what the poster meant exactly by "toying with men" hence my question.

mature humans shouldn't be forced to do what they are not ready to do. she should be allowed to choose wether she wants marriage or not.

6 Likes

Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by lilmax(m): 12:08pm On Aug 30, 2017

Abiagirl777:

she violent and may be death if her husband who she ran to out of pressure beats her up is a carefree person.besides if she actually toys with men and then gets married with that attitude,wouldn't it result to domestic voilrnce cos of that lifestyle.
my elder sis was in her shoes before.at a time our parents were mounting pressure on her we the younger siblings told them to leave her alone.
she is married now but with the man she loves not under pressure.
They are simply irritated by her presence in the home nothing more. If she were to be leaving alone and giving them money,none of them will insult or fight her.
The same way you guys doesn't want to pressured into marriage the same way women shouldn't.
Marriage is not an achievement!
BTW I'm happily married with 2 boys...

it's not an achievement why did you get married? grin

why not have the kids and not get married? smh grin

it's simple, her crappy attitude drives those that really want her.... and leads to no marriage.....

of course she would have been working but no,what did she do? still fooling herself

she's not responsible and not ready to be taken maturely

2 Likes

Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by lilmax(m): 12:10pm On Aug 30, 2017

Humanistme:

I don't understand what the poster meant exactly by "toying with men" hence my question.

mature humans shouldn't be forced to do what they are not ready to do. she should be allowed to choose wether she wants marriage or not.

lol

what's your definition of maturity?

1 Like

Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by HMZi: 12:24pm On Aug 30, 2017

Viking007:
Getting married won't solve her attitude issues. No man would want to get married to a lady who isn't submissive. You(Your family) should try and talk sense into her. There is more to life than getting married.

TRUE...

1 Like 2 Shares

Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by Humanistme: 12:25pm On Aug 30, 2017

lilmax:
lol

what's your definition of maturity?

That stage in your life when you take full responsibility for your own life, choices, peace of mind, health and happiness, not relying on others to do things for you or placing blame for your circumstances on others. being more aware of your environment.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by Humanistme: 12:30pm On Aug 30, 2017

lilmax:
it's not an achievement why did you get married? why not have the kids and not get married? smh

it's simple, her crappy attitude drives those that really want her.... and leads to no marriage.....

of course she would have been working but no,what did she do? still fooling herself

she's not responsible and not ready to be taken maturely

interesting, I remember when a certain pastor said men who are still unmarried by 35 are not responsible hell was let loose people criticized him from left to right.

bottomline nobody likes being under pressure.

5 Likes

Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by lilmax(m): 1:08pm On Aug 30, 2017

Humanistme:

That stage in your life when you take full responsibility for your own life, choices, peace of mind, health and happiness, not relying on others to do things for you or placing blame for your circumstances on others. being more aware of your environment.

very correct

exactly, I see her taking responsibility of her life in her father's house..... smh

a 29 year old doesn't know when to grow up

then what exactly have you been learning your whole life?

it's better you slay and fool around with men in your house, because how she sees life is different from what her family sees

so at that point she doesn't know what she wants, she's childish and not ready to be responsible

2 Likes

Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by Humanistme: 1:20pm On Aug 30, 2017

lilmax:
very correct

exactly, I see her taking responsibility of her life in her father's house..... smh

a 29 year old doesn't know when to grow up

then what exactly have you been learning your whole life?

it's better you slay and fool around with men in your house, because how she sees life is different from what her family sees

so at that point she doesn't know what she wants, she's childish and not ready to be responsible

op did not say she doesn't have a job.

he only complained about her personality and her singleness.
maturity doesn't fall on you once you are married, there are immature married people and mature single people.

my point is @29 she is not a child so if she is not ready for marriage, she is not ready for commitment. it is only children you can be responsible for and tell what to do.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by Nobody: 10:08pm On Aug 30, 2017

How come she doesn't have her own apartment at least spare the parents the aches she can live her life the way she wants am not gonna knock anyone for that, its up to her to decide what she wants in her life but its a problem when she causes issues for elderly people within the house unless the issue being caused is because of her being unmarried then I will say I don't support that, at least let her get her own place and do what she wants.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by loshybab(m): 1:06am On Aug 31, 2017

ponziponzi:

You don't understand, many of these ladies are unmarried and are close to (or more than) 29. They are simply venting their anger on the poor guy. What else will they do?

seconded!
In other words,they are birds of the same feather that flock together.

And to think they ain't ready to even change that annoys the fvck outta me coz their bad situation is only going to get worst.

To cap it up,they stupidly support their fvckd sentences like.....
'is it a must one gets married'
'my happiness is my priority and I am,as a single'....

when indeed they ain't or they cn bcme happier being married.

Baba! in a nutshell, i just weak for their matter!

3 Likes

Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by dangotesmummy: 1:41am On Aug 31, 2017

OK so because she's 29 she should be married? So you own her life
2.she's posting pictures on social media.are the pictures she's posting making your phenese smaller or your money miss?
3 she's toying with men.how did you come to that assumption?
4.she's always quarrelling with your dad?what's the basis of the quarell? I'm sure its the marital status.
5.she's domineering and unsubmissive. I realised that Nigerians are yet to decipher and differentiate the difference between domineering attitude and being self secured, self confident,and not let people disrespect you as opposed to being timid,shy or having shame facedness which is the typical expectations they expect from women.chimanda calls it making women feel guilty or feeling bad and insecure for being women and their only goals are to marry otherwise they're failures

My advise is if she's happy with her life,face yours.we all have different priorities. Maybe she has other priorities for now which is not marriage so the mere fact she's your sister doesn't mean you should be all up in her business and desist from giving unsolicited advise

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by dangotesmummy: 1:45am On Aug 31, 2017

loshybab:

seconded!
In other words,they are birds of the same feather that flock together.

And to think they ain't ready to even change that annoys the fvck outta me coz their bad situation is only going to get worst.

To cap it up,they stupidly support their fvckd sentences like.....
'is it a must one gets married'
'my happiness is my priority and I am,as a single'....

when indeed they ain't or they cn bcme happier being married.

Baba! in a nutshell, i just weak for their matter!

excuse you.happiness means different things to different people

Some people derive happiness by going to church and engage in church activities
Some derive happiness by consuming alcohol and sex.

That she's a woman and she's 29 doesn't mean you have a right to define or impose what should make her happy. No body owns a woman.can't that sink into you men's head

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by dangotesmummy: 2:03am On Aug 31, 2017

Humanistme:

op did not say she doesn't have a job.

he only complained about her personality and her singleness.
maturity doesn't fall on you once you are married, there are immature married people and mature single people.

my point is @29 she is not a child so if she is not ready for marriage, she is not ready for commitment. it is only children you can be responsible for and tell what to do.

exactly.

I was discussing with a friend she's 30 and the go and marry crew were all up in her business giving unsolicited advise on how to catch a man at work so after all said and done I asked her what's important to you now?what will bring you fulfilment and happiness like now and she said nothing that has to do with marriage. All of them were looking astonished as if she said she killed someone. I said at the end of the day its your life,you're responsible for your happiness and if marriage is not on your agenda,I wish you the best in your endeavors because even married people will say marriage doesn't solve problems and doesn't bring happiness so what's all the marriage fuss about. I told her my dear don't empower any man or woman so much that you put the key to your happiness in his/her hands .own your happiness

9 Likes 3 Shares

Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by Nobody: 2:06am On Aug 31, 2017

We need to be wary about our decisions with relationship, work and age...the comments here paints relationship as a dull picture

Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by cococandy(f): 2:34am On Aug 31, 2017

why are you pained about someone else's relationship status?

loshybab:

seconded!
In other words,they are birds of the same feather that flock together.

And to think they ain't ready to even change that annoys the fvck outta me coz their bad situation is only going to get worst.

To cap it up,they stupidly support their fvckd sentences like.....
'is it a must one gets married'
'my happiness is my priority and I am,as a single'....

when indeed they ain't or they cn bcme happier being married.

Baba! in a nutshell, i just weak for their matter!

8 Likes 4 Shares

Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by Daeylar(f): 5:53am On Aug 31, 2017

dangotesmummy:

That she's a woman and she's 29 doesn't mean you have a right to define or impose what should make her happy. No body owns a woman.can't that sink into you men's head

The thing shock me oh shocked

see the way them discuss her matter as if she be dog wey dem buy from market carry come house wey them wan mate, A human being like them shocked

Anyway it could be what proudgorgeousga said, but I still feel that they shouldn't treat another human being that way,

Proudgorgeousga:
I don't blame you, I blame your sister she has allowed you people to see her finish.

if she got a herself a good job, moved out to another town while minding her business nobody will have have the guts to be stressing about her singleness and her posting pictures on Facebook.

she should better give herself levels mtseew.

Humanistme:

op did not say she doesn't have a job.

he only complained about her personality and her singleness.
maturity doesn't fall on you once you are married, there are immature married people and mature single people.

my point is @29 she is not a child so if she is not ready for marriage, she is not ready for commitment. it is only children you can be responsible for and tell what to do.

Please say this again, I don't think they know, nice post, I agree with you

Humanistme:
is it her bad attitude or her being single that is bothering you?

well there is nothing you can do about her attitude seeing that you are younger than her.

Encourage your mum to talk more to her by talking to her I don't mean scolding her like a child. you guys should also stop putting pressure on her to marry that may be the reason why she feels frustrated by you guys and she reacts by not listening and giving a shit.

she will marry when she's ready.

I agree with this also

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by loshybab(m): 6:11am On Aug 31, 2017

dangotesmummy:
excuse you.happiness means different things to different people

Some people derive happiness by going to church and engage in church activities
Some derive happiness by consuming alcohol and sex.

That she's a woman and she's 29 doesn't mean you have a right to define or impose what should make her happy. No body owns a woman.can't that sink into you men's head

lol....I knew 'they' would come for me...
and who says she is happy being a single lady at 29?
Besides,getting married to the right person at the right time is a right thing,so,whoever doesn't feel happy doing the right is not 'right' upstairs.

2 Likes

Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by Viking007(m): 6:14am On Aug 31, 2017

lilmax:
very correct

exactly, I see her taking responsibility of her life in her father's house..... smh

a 29 year old doesn't know when to grow up

then what exactly have you been learning your whole life?

it's better you slay and fool around with men in your house, because how she sees life is different from what her family sees

so at that point she doesn't know what she wants, she's childish and not ready to be responsible

Threads about ladies with bad attitudes on nairaland always end up looking like a revolt from the female folks. The lady obviously needs some little parental heart to heart talk, but no, the nairaland female "warriors" don't see things that way. undecided

1 Like

Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by loshybab(m): 6:14am On Aug 31, 2017

cococandy:
why are you pained about someone else's relationships status?

To this question,
I AM NOT PAINED!
I believe I've answered your question, and if you need some explanations, i owe you none!

Thank you!

Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by lilmax(m): 6:42am On Aug 31, 2017

Viking007:
Threads about ladies with bad attitudes on nairaland always end up looking like a revolt from the female folks. The lady obviously needs some little parental heart to heart talk, but no, the nairaland female "warriors" don't see things that way.

I think they are what the op described grin

...

don't tell me you're surprised... like I said it never gets old grin

having a crappy character makes her happy we should not take her happiness away grin

2 Likes

Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by Viking007(m): 7:29am On Aug 31, 2017

lilmax:
I think they are what the op described ...

don't tell me you're surprised... like I said it never gets old

having a crappy character makes her happy we should not take her happiness away

Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by Daeylar(f): 7:38am On Aug 31, 2017

loshybab:

lol....I knew 'they' would come for me...
and who says she is happy being a single lady at 29?
Besides,getting married to the right person at the right time is a right thing,so,whoever doesn't feel happy doing the right is not 'right' upstairs.

What nonsense statement is this?

First of all Who says she is not happy? Did the op state whether she is happy or not?

Further more as for this statement you made "getting married to the right person at the right time is a right thing" it only applies to those who want to get married and it's only right them, for those who don't want to get married it doesn't apply to them and therefore is not right for them and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that too.

So because someone doesn't share your views to life the person is not right upstairs, What's really wrong with you? How will anyone's marriage or lack of it affect you? For you to make such a disgusting statement.

Just imagine the level of foolishness in this post

And to think they ain't ready to even change that annoys the fvck outta me coz their bad situation is only going to get worst.
To cap it up,they stupidly support their fvckd sentences like.....
'is it a must one gets married'
'my happiness is my priority and I am,as a single'....
when indeed they ain't or they cn bcme happier being married.
Baba! in a nutshell, i just weak for their matter!

Why should it annoy you? Why should it even concern you in the first place?
So you sit down there in your foolishness and think you know what makes someone happy or not more than the person in question? And you say you are weak. Trash

You need help.
It's one thing to be foolish,
But it's another thing completely to be so foolish and yet be so arrogant in your foolishness

Nigerians and their problem of intolerance towards opinions and ways of life that defer from theirs but in no way affects them.

Please get serious help, so that you will know better than to repeat such nonsense in public next time.
Such a disgrace

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do You Cope With An Unmarried Sibling. by Daeylar(f): 7:49am On Aug 31, 2017

Motuke01:
Hello Familylanders, I'm new here.

Hello

Please I need advice. I have a sister who is almost 29 and still single. My problem is not with her status but with her lack of interest in coming out of the her single status.

@ the bolded why is this an issue for you?

We've tried to be understanding and not put pressure on her but it's really telling on us especially we the guys because she is our senior.

@ the bolded how is it 'if I may use your words' telling on you guys?

That will help us to give you a better advice
because marriage is not an issue people jump into,

1 Like

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