NoToPile:
What about those that our African mothers system worked for ? what of those that actually turned out good. There are some people that the "run away from boys and sex is a sin " statement worked for. I believe it worked for some people.

I accept that our mums can go to the extreme anyway

I would educate my daughter about sex and also tell her to keep it till she's married.

yeah it worked for them because their hymens were able to be monitored and policed around through fear ,threats,name calling till they married.

As soon as they married, their husbands have to deal with the aftermath of years of indoctrination, they have to exercise loads of patience to have sex with them and sex feels like fokeen a log of wood with them

Why do you think after 2 years of marriage they look depreciated,depressed and confused. It's because they have no single inclination or understanding of their bodies and sexuality how much more a man

The effect of African mother's training is that they have succeeded in keeping them chaste but they forget that the person they're keeping them chaste for is not a Enoch or castrated.the consequences of making them completely innocent to the point of stoopeedety is dire

They know nothing about post natal depression,what turns their own bodies on ,when they can conceive.its only church activities and academics. Every other area they're as senseless as a goat

dangotesmummy:
yeah it worked for them because their hymens were able to be monitored and policed around through fear ,threats,name calling till they married.

As soon as they married, their husbands have to deal with the aftermath of years of indoctrination, they have to exercise loads of patience to have sex with them and sex feels like fokeen a log of wood with them

Why do you think after 2 years of marriage they look depreciated,depressed and confused. It's because they have no single inclination or understanding of their bodies and sexuality how much more a man

The effect of African mother's training is that they have succeeded in keeping them chaste but they forget that the person they're keeping them chaste for is not a Enoch or castrated.the consequences of making them completely innocent to the point of stoopeedety is dire

This is real deep

Why do you think after 2 years of marriage they look depreciated,depressed and confused. It's because they have no single inclination or understanding of their bodies and sexuality how much more a man

supersystemsng:



This is real deep

Why do you think after 2 years of marriage they look depreciated,depressed and confused. It's because they have no single inclination or understanding of their bodies and sexuality how much more a man

they're brought up to think that marriage is all about prayers,fasting, cooking and cleaning and taking care of children. Any other thing pertaining to sex is totally alien to them

They forget that marriage is a process sex has to take place for children to come so after the sex and children come they now have to put up with the real rude shocker of what marriage is all about.

And because they just understood their sexuality too late in marriage, their husband no longer finds then sexually attractive. Infact sex with them becomes more of a duty rather than something that bonds couples and to be enjoyed

African mothers have really bastardized the minds of their daughters regarding sex and that's why you see side Chic's having the upper hand and are able to steal their man because while they were washing plates,running errands to the market,the side Chic's were reading, travelling, partying and foorkeen men,so they understand men's physiology well and know how to make them drool and come running to them and then you see the wives become bitter,angry and resentful, taking care of the children alone and paying all the bills while daddy is somewhere in side Chic's house,giving side Chic's durgie style or cow girl.something the wife of the house can't do because her body will be shaking or inflexible to do all that so of course the side Chic's will be spending all the Mans money

Ask ladies the real reason why baby mamaism pays than being a wife. You have the best of both worlds.you have your kids and still live the single life and exploring your sexuality without inhibitions

dangotesmummy:
they're brought up to think that marriage is all about prayers,fasting, cooking and cleaning and taking care of children. Any other thing pertaining to sex is totally alien to them

They forget that marriage is a process sex has to take place for children to come so after the sex and children come they now have to put up with the real rude shocker of what marriage is all about.

And because they just understood their sexuality too late in marriage, their husband no longer finds then sexually attractive. Infact sex with them becomes more of a duty rather than something that bonds couples and to be enjoyed

African mothers have really bastardized the minds of their daughters regarding sex and that's why you see side Chic's having the upper hand and are able to steal their man because while they were washing plates,running errands to the market,the side Chic's were reading, travelling, partying and foorkeen men,so they understand men's physiology well and know how to make them drool and come running to them and then you see the wives become bitter,angry and resentful, taking care of the children alone and paying all the bills while daddy is somewhere in side Chic's house,giving side Chic's durgie style or cow girl.something the wife of the house can't do because her body will be shaking or inflexible to do all that so of course the side Chic's will be spending all the Mans money

Ask ladies the real reason why baby mamaism pays than being a wife. You have the best of both worlds.you have your kids and still live the single life and exploring your sexuality without inhibitions

Men this is deep, ic an relate 100%, bros why are you on paid job..get a story board writer, writer a book...there's gold in these insights you're sharing..if you don't have time to write, we can hustle a story board writer, you communicate the idea, the writer writes, we sell ebook on Amazon and the hard copy everywhere, you can retire with these amazing mind of yours...this is the case 100%, can't be argued against...

supersystemsng:



Men this is deep, ic an relate 100%, bros why are you on paid job..get a story board writer, writer a book...there's gold in these insights you're sharing..if you don't have time to write, we can hustle a story board writer, you communicate the idea, the writer writes, we sell ebook on Amazon and the hard copy everywhere, you can retire with these amazing mind of yours...this is the case 100%, can't be argued against...

which one is story board writer again?

dangotesmummy:
which one is story board writer again?

Someone you can share these ideas with and will expantiate them organize them and turn it into a book, for busy people, a story board writer can be helpful, they can collect your thoughts and write your book on your behalf.....bros you have rare wisdom...don't leave it to just Nairaland please

And why is Cocoacandy here?

Well what do you expect when women are constantly slut shamed for the same behaviors that men are praised for? Those mothers are so concerned about what people will say because they understand that they live among judgmental people hypocrites.

supersystemsng:


Someone you can share these ideas with and will expantiate them organize them and turn it into a book, for busy people, a story board writer can be helpful, they can collect your thoughts and write your book on your behalf.....bros you have rare wisdom...don't leave it to just Nairaland please

LOL.Ok

So how does this work or how do you go about it?

dangotesmummy:
which one is story board writer again?

Anyway they thought ladies when marriage finally reached that sex should be endured and not enjoyed, now that this generation has tested those boundaries and have found the flawed ideologies, sexual expression emancipated, unfortunately we now also have over-expressiveness of sexuality, chai, another problem on the next generation...the over expressiveness of liberty that pertains sexuality..

cococandy:
Well what do you expect when women are constantly slut shamed for the same behaviors that men are praised for? Those mothers are so concerned about what people will say because they understand that they live among judgmental people hypocrites.

dangotesmummy:
LOL.Ok

So how does this work or how do you go about it?

Once you're ready, I can get a lady or two, you do whatsapp meeting with and share i.e. i can facilitate the whole process, you speak with them, they break your ideas down....and compile the book, you review make corrections, then we get a graphic designer to design the book..shikena

dangotesmummy:
This is the major reason why s.u girls suffer vaginismus in marriage. The mothers have put fear in the heart of their young daughters and they grow up with such fear even in marriage thinking that as soon as her husband gets get pregnant he'll abscond. Unfortunately this happens because they have nursed and grown their fear that it becomes reality

African moms just dont know when to stop.they let their panaroia get the better part of their daughters that it's either their daughters get averse to sex in and out of marriage, become sexually uninformed or dysfunctional

I actually ended two relationships because we havent started dating the ladies were like i'll abscound...i couldn't bear the burden of some terrible mindset

cococandy:
Well what do you expect when women are constantly slut shamed for the same behaviors that men are praised for? Those mothers are so concerned about what people will say because they understand that they live among judgmental people hypocrites.

On behalf of all men, oya we apologise to your sisters...

DarkRebel69:


That explains the steep differential libido between male adults and female adults in the world today, and precisely what goads the popular misconception that men think more about sex than women do - an assertion that couldn't be more wrong.

It's an hypothesis of mine that both men and women used to be shameless, ultra-sexual animals, who frolicked beneath the sheets with whomever they wanted and whenever it tickled their bestial fancy. I theorize, too, that mileniums of "slut-shaming" have deadened the sensual carapace of the female folks, coercing them into a shell of sexual reticence, so that they're mandated to keep whatever sensual thoughts they might conceive of to themselves or risk being branded a slut.

It's a form of sexual natural selection, I think i.e. the more society "slut-shamed", the more females had to stifle their sexuality as way of calibrating their dance steps to the tune of the slut-shaming flute. But I find elation in the fact that the pattern is being deviated from, to some extent at least.

I am not so sure but certainly we have a li.bido. It varies from female to female but we do have it and I see no reason why anybody should not enjoy themselves.

Wait until marriage because of STDs? How many wives were infected by their own husbands?
Unwanted pregnancies? In this day and age?

Nonsense!

Mindfulness:


I am not so sure but certainly we have a li.bido. It varies from female to female but we do have it and I see no reason why anybody should not enjoy themselves.

Wait until marriage because of STDs? How many wives were infected by their own husbands?
Unwanted pregnancies? In this day and age?

Nonsense!

This is a different dimension oh, sexual expressiveness and sexual rascality ....men, the terms and conditions have to be well defined o...

supersystemsng:


This is a different dimension oh, sexual expressiveness and sexual rascality ....men, the terms and conditions have to be well defined o...

I am not sure what you are talking about.

supersystemsng:


Anyway they thought ladies when marriage finally reached that sex should be endured and not enjoyed, now that this generation has tested those boundaries and have found the flawed ideologies, sexual expression emancipated, unfortunately we now also have over-expressiveness of sexuality, chai, another problem on the next generation...the over expressiveness of liberty that pertains sexuality..

yes this generation have seen and realised the lies,hypocrisy and old wives fables of African moms.they see that there's nothing to be chaste about after all he will still cheat

I was jisting with a friends younger sister some years back.she's married now though but before she married I said make sure you don't sleep with any man before marriage and she said abegii let me hear word,these men aren't worth keeping virginity for after all there's no guarantee in marriage.if I need sex I have a couple of fwb boyfriends I can call and I was really surprised

I saw some sense in what she said and all.fast forward to a month ago.I was in my make up artist studio,she was tying my gele for an owanmbe event and a phone call came into her phone,I was hearing a female voice crying and talking on phone saying "he has started again". So my mua asked what is it this time? She said since after a 3weeks wedding he hardly stays at home. He only comes home to pick his phone,read news paper, and go he doesn't sleep at home and when she asks where are you going and when are you coming back he ignores her.this was a man that met her as a virgin and disvirgined her then I now remember what my little friend told me that " aunty there's no guarantee in marriage" let me enjoy my life bow before marriage

And this is the same girl that I'm sure that her mom and aunties will have been feeding her with old wives fables that if you marry as a Virgin,your husband will respect you.now she has entered the marriage thinking what her mother said will happen,only to find out they're all fabricated fables just to deceive her to keep her Hymen.she has realised she has been played

The so called husband doesn't even send her talkless of respecting her and here he is frolicking with ladies that Aren't even virgins

Ladies have realised through exposure to the internet and personal experiences that all their mother's tales,advice and fear generation were all cork and bull

They say if you read your books you'll become successful, if you don't read your books you'll be working for those who read their books

Don't we have people who didn't read becoming millionaires and employing people who read their books to manage their companies and pay them their salaries?

Is neymar a graduate?
Is dangote a graduate?
Are some of these celebrities graduates? Don't they employ graduates?

Is dangote not employing graduates?

supersystemsng:



Once you're ready, I can get a lady or two, you do whatsapp meeting with and share i.e. i can facilitate the whole process, you speak with them, they break your ideas down....and compile the book, you review make corrections, then we get a graphic designer to design the book..shikena

OK,I'll let you know when I'm ready but fofor now I'm not ready however you can keep reminding me so I'll not forget

supersystemsng:


I actually ended two relationships because we havent started dating the ladies were like i'll abscound...i couldn't bear the burden of some terrible mindset

it's not their fault but their mothers now made worse by church indoctrination aka youth fellowship in their teenage years and singles fellowship in their 20s where they're taught all manners of misconception about sex and relationships,how any man that sleeps with you before marriage will cheat on you after marriage,how any man that doesn't sleep with you till marriage will respect you and be faithful to you

When I remember all the bs I just shake my head..honestly we have a long way to go in Africa

dangotesmummy:
they're brought up to think that marriage is all about prayers,fasting, cooking and cleaning and taking care of children. Any other thing pertaining to sex is totally alien to them

They forget that marriage is a process sex has to take place for children to come so after the sex and children come they now have to put up with the real rude shocker of what marriage is all about.

And because they just understood their sexuality too late in marriage, their husband no longer finds then sexually attractive. Infact sex with them becomes more of a duty rather than something that bonds couples and to be enjoyed

African mothers have really bastardized the minds of their daughters regarding sex and that's why you see side Chic's having the upper hand and are able to steal their man because while they were washing plates,running errands to the market,the side Chic's were reading, travelling, partying and foorkeen men,so they understand men's physiology well and know how to make them drool and come running to them and then you see the wives become bitter,angry and resentful, taking care of the children alone and paying all the bills while daddy is somewhere in side Chic's house,giving side Chic's durgie style or cow girl.something the wife of the house can't do because her body will be shaking or inflexible to do all that so of course the side Chic's will be spending all the Mans money

Ask ladies the real reason why baby mamaism pays than being a wife. You have the best of both worlds.you have your kids and still live the single life and exploring your sexuality without inhibitions

I am happy you really have the true picture of side chics and I laugh when women say theor husbands come back to them.

I really agree with you that a lot of women aren't in tune with their sexuality that's why they see sex as a chore/duty/favour to their husbands.

I think a balance is needed; teach boys and girls to wait for marriage and gradual introduction into the beauty/importance of sex and sexuality as they grow by both parents.

The power of touch can’t be under estimated . Even babies want to be touched by their loved ones. They want to be tickled playfully. The same applies to touch between couples/lovers.
According to research by sexologists, touch sends some electrical currents to the spine of our lovers. Many men are making mistakes by not touching their wives. It is not all about the touch, it is about caressing the right spot. When I say the right spot, I’m referring to touching those erogenous zones that are capable of making her explode in the room and want more of that intimacy which may end up in a fun- filled sex. For more information, visit www.busygisting.com

bukatyne:


I am happy you really have the true picture of side chics and I laugh when women say theor husbands come back to them.

I really agree with you that a lot of women aren't in tune with their sexuality that's why they see sex as a chore/duty/favour to their husbands.

I think a balance is needed; teach boys and girls to wait for marriage and gradual introduction into the beauty/importance of sex and sexuality as they grow by both parents.

exactly. When you make sex like a transactional thing of course he will run to someone who's ready to give him front back left right and before you know it the income that should enter the house is going into the side Chic's pocket and to now make matters worse you will see pastors telling the woman to fast and pray so that God will bring back her husband. Even the day he's at home he sees you with unkept hair,bushy atmpit ,tying wrapper on your chest and reading the Bible when the person Sharing your husbands hair is always on fleek with expensive colognes and sexy looking bodies

God,if you see the generation of university students, walahi if you're a married woman who still wants to remain relevant to your husband you will run to the gym and care about how you look,even down to your bra.you won't buy bra that will press your brez inside.there are some gold studed bras side Chic's wear...chisos you need to see them on social media,then your husband let's say forgot his charger or keys and he saw your torn hair net,dirty wrapper tied on your chest and you're smelling of sweat,you think he will touch you even if agro is catching him when there's a more sleek rival out there?

bukatyne:


I am happy you really have the true picture of side chics and I laugh when women say theor husbands come back to them.

I really agree with you that a lot of women aren't in tune with their sexuality that's why they see sex as a chore/duty/favour to their husbands.

I think a balance is needed; teach boys and girls to wait for marriage and gradual introduction into the beauty/importance of sex and sexuality as they grow by both parents.

See Buka wants to restrict and oppress boys now too.

Wait till marriage?

I would have s.ex in my 30s for the first time.

Abeg!

I'll teach my child to wait until she's an adult. That way she understands and is more equipped to handle the implications of whatever she chooses to do.

I'm not going to teach her to wait until marriage.

bukatyne:


I am happy you really have the true picture of side chics and I laugh when women say theor husbands come back to them.

I really agree with you that a lot of women aren't in tune with their sexuality that's why they see sex as a chore/duty/favour to their husbands.

I think a balance is needed; teach boys and girls to wait for marriage and gradual introduction into the beauty/importance of sex and sexuality as they grow by both parents.

cococandy:
I'll teach my child to wait until she's an adult. That way she understands and is more equipped to handle the implications of whatever she chooses to do.

I'm not going to teach her to wait until marriage.

I love it.

Haha

Mindfulness:


See Buka wants to restrict and oppress boys now too.

Wait till marriage?

I would have s.ex in my 30s for the first time.

Abeg!

cococandy:
I'll teach my child to wait until she's an adult. That way she understands and is more equipped to handle the implications of whatever she chooses to do.

I'm not going to teach her to wait until marriage.

by adult you mean how old?

According to Nigerian standard an adult is 18 and for me 18 is wayyyy too young.I think from 24 years upwards is personally what I consider an adult old enough to take responsibility for his/her sexual actions

cococandy:
I'll teach my child to wait until she's an adult. That way she understands and is more equipped to handle the implications of whatever she chooses to do.

I'm not going to teach her to wait until marriage.

very pragmatic

dangotesmummy:
Cococandy you have a daughter so come and put mouth for the matter
Ifyalways
Tearoses
Efemena
Kanwuliajara
Etc

Allo! What's up aunty K? I heard you hollering my name

dangotesmummy:
by adult you mean how old?

According to Nigerian standard an adult is 18 and for me 18 is wayyyy too young.I think from 24 years upwards is personally what I consider an adult old enough to take responsibility for his/her sexual actions

by adult I mean over 20. My first time I was 21 and I think I was very mature for sex at that time.

However I'm going to be realistic and hope that she will listen until she's at least 19.
Most teenagers get pressured into sex way too early. The boys do it because they have to prove to their friends that they are men and the girls do it because they want to prove to their boyfriends that they love them.

Peer pressure is not to be undermined

cococandy:


by adult I mean over 20. My first time I was 21 and I think I was very mature for sex at that time.

However I'm going to be realistic and hope that she will listen until she's at least 19.
Most teenagers get pressured into sex way too early. The boys do it because they have to prove to their friends that they are men and the girls do it because they want to prove to their boyfriends that they love them.

Peer pressure is not to be undermined

How about they do it (boys and girls) because nature calls them to do it?