I recently got married to a girl I meet last year.we courted for just 3 month,and felt we should get married.since we got married,I have to practically beg to make love to her, it's been one complain or the other.is either she is not in the mood or that she is cold because I refuse to turn off the ceiling fan,or that I didn't tell her early before she fell asleep,or that my weight is too much ,or that she is having stomach pain which I took her to go and see a doctor for.She sex starved me for 2 month,we sleep on same bed facing opposite direction,this has been the usual trend.I was very happy when she eventually told me that she is pregnant,since she became pregnant am scared of touching her, last time I wanted to make love to her she started crying,I felt so embarrashed, irresponsible and insensitive and I promise never to demand for sex from her until she delivers her baby,although she is just 2 months gone with the pregnancy,I do not want to have any reason to cheat on my wife but she is driving me nut.She doesn't care about my feeling,she is the one that always decide when we make love.I have tried to talk to her but to no avail,am too shy to ask my parent or go to her parent for advise.please I need advise on what to do.

lalasticlala seun one faithful man need advice o, do the needful b4 he cheats
for me I'll say visit a consultant with your wife, its not right to sex starve your partner, its gives room for cheating.
but hollup, since u married her, she has been giving excuse and you guys couldn't have sex, now she is pregnant, wow wow,
the second coming of Jesus Christ.

meanwhile FTC(I knw say one day I go harmer) lala oya my reward

If the issue is sex alone, then, get a side chic. Your wife is too selfish.

It's crazy but true. "Sexual Aversion Disorder is phobic aversion to and avoidance of sexual contact with a sexual partner, which causes personal distress. This is the most severe form of sexual desire disorder. It involves a fear of sexual intercourse and an intense desire to avoid sexual situations completely". You can see a psychologist or sex therapist for counselling

She never loved you bro

Chuks9000:
If the issue is sex alone, then, get a side chic. Your wife is too selfish.

who is this one? you u deh act like this? somebody steal ur cloth 4 rope?

Chuks9000:
If the issue is sex alone, then, get a side chic. Your wife is too selfish.

Don't do this

Ginaz:
She never loved you bro

haba Anty calm down, she could be scared of sex, dazzol

Ginaz:
She never loved you bro

A man or woman that's addicted to masturbation behaves that way. Op, try to find out why she's doing this to you. Be kind to her and allow her to express herself, ask her if she commits masturbation and let her know that you'll stand with her if only she'll open up to you. Don't do anything to hurt her I believe that she's a good partner. Masturbation almost ruined my marriage b'cos I was addicted to it for over twenty years I was into it, I know what I went through including lack of sexual desires.

Getting married involves a process.Part of it is getting counselling from Church/Mosque or a marriage counsellor/outfit.
Unfortunately,young people just rush into marriage because they met and think they are in love already.

I doubt(my opinion) if she genuinely loves you.If she does,the question of her sexual orientation also comes in.Is she open to sex or has some phobia?

You might need to visit the doctor together,next time she has an appointment so the doctor can speak to her.Except where the pregnancy is high risk,you have no reason not to have sex.

You need to be patient with her.It will take time for a change.

u court for just 3mth dat s small u shld see sign if she Lik sex or nt Dan getin married to entre 1 chances

Op, d problem is dat u dnt even no ur wife well since u courted 4 jst 3months. U won't hv ur solution if u dnt no d problem. Take her to a romantic environment, u no Wat she likes, spoil her until she is in a romantic and happy mood,den let d discussion flow. Ws she a virgin? Let her Tel u her past, her past relationships 2,mayb she ws once abused or raped hence d hatred 4 sex, 4rm dere u wl no where d problem is coming from, den let her see a psychologist

PointZerom:


A man or woman that's addicted to masturbation behaves that way. Op, try to find out why she's doing this to you. Be kind to her and allow her to express herself, ask her if she commits masturbation and let her know that you'll stand with her if only she'll open up to you. Don't do anything to hurt her I believe that she's a good partner. Masturbation almost ruined my marriage b'cos I was addicted to it for over twenty years I was into it, I know what I went through including lack of sexual desires.

I think she never loved him, she only wanted marriage nothing more.

supersystemsnig:

I think she never loved him, she only wanted marriage nothing more.

Don't conclude yet, I am speaking from my experience.

Ginaz:
She never loved you bro

are you for real ? How do you know ?A lady that was raped or assaulted will always have fear of sex .Let them see doctor or psychologist

supersystemsnig:


I think she never loved him, she only wanted marriage nothing more.

You mayb wrong sir . a woman with past rape experience maybe battling psychological problems. Within

samtol4:
You mayb wrong sir . a woman with past rape experience maybe battling psychological problems. Within

Abeg

Kikiiii..what's wrong with marriage these days.. Long courtship.. No possibility of marriage sometimes... Short courtship.. You don't get to know each other well.
Sexxxxxxxxxxxx.. Marriage nightmare.... Is either she loves sex or the man loves it more than her....

Talk to her.. Find the root of the problem and get a solution

dukeprince50:
who is this one? you u deh act like this? somebody steal ur cloth 4 rope?

Hahhahaha, nobody steal my cloth.

But it's weird, ,the excuses and all that she's giving.

Sorry but I can't help it.

She doesn't love, 2months without sex, that's a lot na.

Chuks9000:
If the issue is sex alone, then, get a side chic. Your wife is too selfish.

your advice is not right at all

attention007:


your advice is not right at all

What you want is for op to press home his demands. That will bring stress on the marriage. Remember that love is not by force.
I won't be surprise if some else is browsing her site for free. For his peace of mind, she needs to deliver safely. While that is on going, he needs to sort his urges. I will not personally engage another woman cos op is not alone in this situation. It better to free her than to force senses into her until the baby come of age.

samtol4:
are you for real ? How do you know ?A lady that was raped or assaulted will always have fear of sex .Let them see doctor or psychologist

. Op,take this advice if u don't want a broken home.

Make any available brothel ur second home. I can recall when my ex gf was always scared of sex. I called the mum one day and complained.

you don enter one chance!

TINALETC3:
Op, d problem is dat u dnt even no ur wife well since u courted 4 jst 3months. U won't hv ur solution if u dnt no d problem. Take her to a romantic environment, u no Wat she likes, spoil her until she is in a romantic and happy mood,den let d discussion flow. Ws she a virgin? Let her Tel u her past, her past relationships 2,mayb she ws once abused or raped hence d hatred 4 sex, 4rm dere u wl no where d problem is coming from, den let her see a psychologist

Op, take this advice.

IBENUALHASSAN:
I recently got married to a girl I meet last year.we courted for just 3 month,and felt we should get married

@iben
This was ur first mistake! How on earth do you make a life changing decision like marriage based on "feelings"? and after just 3 months of "courtship "!

IBENUALHASSAN:

.since we got married,I have to practically beg to make love to her, it's been one complain or the other.is either she is not in the mood or that she is cold because I refuse to turn off the ceiling fan,or that I didn't tell her early before she fell asleep,or that my weight is too much ,or that she is having stomach pain which I took her to go and see a doctor for.She sex starved me for 2 month,we sleep on same bed facing opposite direction,this has been the usual trend.

As a direct result of "Not Doing Your Homework" you now find yourself married to a virtual stranger.
You have no idea of her mindset towards marriage sex & specifically her desire or lack thereof to have passionate sex With You.

" A woman who wants to Fvck you Will find a way to Fvck you! She will trek from her house to your flat. She will climb the tree in the backyard to your 2nd story apartment if the old landlady is looking at her sideways. She will Fvck you silly! She will wait for you to get back from work if you have to leave. She will Fvck you silly AGAIN, and hop into the kitchen afterwards to make you a snack of fried eggs with dodo & orange juice b4 kissing you goodbye and saying "see you next weekend honey!" - Rollo Tomassi

As a direct result of your ignorance she is now squarely in a position where she basicly controls the Sex and you are reduced to begging for it the way a Dog begs for a bone from it's master.As a follow up to my earlier quote

"Negotiated Sex will only ever leads to obligated compliance." - Rollo Tomassi

https://therationalmale.com/2011/08/25/the-desire-dynamic/

IBENUALHASSAN:

I was very happy when she eventually told me that she is pregnant,since she became pregnant am scared of touching her, last time I wanted to make love to her she started crying,I felt so embarrashed, irresponsible and insensitive and I promise never to demand for sex from her until she delivers her baby,although she is just 2 months gone with the pregnancy,I do not want to have any reason to cheat on my wife but she is driving me nut.She doesn't care about my feeling,she is the one that always decide when we make love.I have tried to talk to her but to no avail,am too shy to ask my parent or go to her parent for advise.please I need advise on what to do.

@ iben
You made another terrible mistake here when you went ahead to get her pregnant , why oh why did you do that?!

How does a right thinking man allow a woman who has shown that she has Zero sexual desire for him to be the mother of his child

And of course as expected her excuses did not reduce but rather they increased! As I said earlier you are now just a Dog begging for a bone in her eyes ,not a MAN!
Her behaviour in your post b4 and after child birth shows this clearly.

The Way Forward:

1) Pick up what is left of your Self Respect & STOP begging ur "wife" for pity sex! The more you do that the more of ur self respect you lose!!!

2) Ignore some funny peeps on this thread making excuses for her (oh maybe she was raped, oh sit her down and talk to her....etc) My brother ,Let Common sense fall on you! If she was raped she should have told the that to you BEFORE marriage thereby allowing you to make an INFORMED decision to continue with the marriage and your current situation has gone well past the level of talk, now is the time for you to take action!

3) Forget this your mumu shyness and get talking to her parents And your parents as well not because you want them to convince her to do her wifely duties bit so that her behaviour is duly documented for posterity.
Also package her BACK to her parents house and get a DNA test done on the child ASAP!
If the test shows you are the father ,good and well BUT if the test says otherwise then start making arrangements for a DIVORCE ! Don' t let anybody try to manipulate you with emotions or religious talk.
If she is devious enough to have sex with a random guy and pass the child off as your own then what else is she capable of and do you really want to stick around long enough to find out?

4)In the off chance that the child is yours you still have your work cut out for you. I don' t know what you do for a living but if you have a good paying job then keep your cash flow coming. If you had friends or hobbies that you had but stopped when you got married then now is the time to revive them and make Yourself HAPPY!
I also advise you to hit the Gym to build up your body to a point where you can look at yourself in the mirror and be proud of the reflection looking back at you, you will know you are on the right track when random girls openly complement your physique .

The truth of the matter is that you shot yourself in the Leg and this "marriage" will likely not survive as the foundation itself was rotten from the get go.There is enough blame to go around for the both of you.
The steps listed above are simply to help you prepare for what your immediate future may hold.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMcTyzpb6IM

I can probably advise you better if you provide more information to us on this thread.

Shalom.