armyofone:
Ha ha, such needed prayers. For them to boldly tell him that, the said wifey is on a long thing.

CDCEO001:
Don't mind them and just do your thing as long as you know you don't owe anybody anything.
When i was living abroad, my family was everything to me.... Even when i save up money to build buy land/build house, when they call and tell me one problem or other in the family, i'll just use the money to solve it and don't mind starting again afresh.
A colleague in abroad once told me to start thinking and planning for myself, that if a ever go back home without anything, that the same people that i am doing all this for will make fun of me. I told him is not my family, that we love each other very much.
But everything was clear to me when i was deported back to Nigeria due paper issue. You need to see insults i get from them, one asked me what i have done for him.....

They always think you owe them something for being their brother, and many will not try to to anything, they just sit around even when they get an opportunity to establish themselves, they'll just overlook it because their brother is in overseas.

hdeeman:
i have always have a very close relationship with my siblings while growing up, which i have tried much to see that everyone is comfortable. i don,t based in Nigeria, but my family has always been my first priority. but everything changed immediately i want to get married. that i have to settle everyone first before getting married. they automatically ganged against me, that if i don,t settle that no one will come for my marriage. this really pissed me off cos this is the same people i have been struggling for over 10 years now. am no longer a kid if i start to settle i will never get married. this is really disturbing me, they only call you on phone when they need something. it really hurt when people you love dearly treat you like this. how do i go about this cos i have decided what ever will happen let it happen, let me look for my own life. i owe no one a dime, every struggle is me and me alone,

Eleganza33:
nna eh ndi mmadu self,sori abt dat.

Lordygram:
when will you change to a new dp?

Eleganza33:
lol u r funy

Lordygram:
But its true na.. upload a new dp let me get to see more of your beauty.

Eleganza33:
e no concern anybody na .lemme c ur own 1st

Lordygram:
lol mine is on my dp na, though i am ugly and nt as fine as you..

Eleganza33:
dnt reali have new photos sha i lost my pictures wen my phone got unles my old ones

Lordygram:
woya upload the old ones 4 me... pls!!!!

Eleganza33:
lol oga ,bt i cnt change my pic o didnt c any button 4 dat

Lordygram:
GO to edit profile and change it now!!!! i give you 5 minutes.

Eleganza33:
Lol giv me 5mins ke.i av done dat

Lordygram:
wow i swear you are beautiful, infact over beautiful... chai thank GOD i am still single...

Eleganza33:
lol ok thanx

ABbless:
i don't think think you're telling the full story honestly. I know many families who can only afford to intensively train one child at a time, hoping that as one stands he would drag the rest along and help set his younger ones up in return till they are all independent. Then they collectively work on rewarding their parents (who would be aged by this time) in return for their labour and toils thru the years. while I don't think its the ideal way to raise a family of many children, I think it's fair cos its not easy raising many children at the same time in this economy. Now the problem here is most times these elder ones becomes over burdened and the set up back fires when he over reacts cos he would spend so much time trying to set his younger ones up and begin to realise he's loosing time on starting a family for himself, hence these kinda problems like the op's arises.
so OP I think you're going around it the wrong way. If you think you can settle every single one of your siblings before getting married you can as well go join the monastery and pledge you life to celibacy for whatever you hold sacred. Everybody can't go to school honestly cos most times that's the line with which they dig a hole in your pocket and live off till eternity, especially If they are the lazy types. look out for the hardworking ones,set up a family business and put them in charge. set them up for trainings that would put money in their pockets eventually and gradually they would become independent, then together you all can do good for mum and dad. my mum always say one finger alone can never pull a strand of hair nor can a single stick of broom sweep a house clean if not in the bunch. This is coming from a real life experience training my elder ones (elder brothers especially) deprived Us of our direct "milk and honey" (thank God didn't I wait on any of them) They finished,got established and you begin to hear lines like I have a family, especially if you marry a useless wife that would come with her own baggage and want to cut you off from yours by not even attempting to flow with them or be familiar with them, they'd feel deprived and cheated and just may never love her for no reason hence you might never he happy. so Mr OP use your head!.

hdeeman:
i have always have a very close relationship with my siblings while growing up, which i have tried much to see that everyone is comfortable. i don,t based in Nigeria, but my family has always been my first priority. but everything changed immediately i want to get married. that i have to settle everyone first before getting married. they automatically ganged against me, that if i don,t settle that no one will come for my marriage. this really pissed me off cos this is the same people i have been struggling for over 10 years now. am no longer a kid if i start to settle i will never get married. this is really disturbing me, they only call you on phone when they need something. it really hurt when people you love dearly treat you like this. how do i go about this cos i have decided what ever will happen let it happen, let me look for my own life. i owe no one a dime, every struggle is me and me alone,

Pinkie2018:
My dear it's really appalling especially here in Nigeria. Once you start making money, most family members will not let you rest. They always call for one assistance or the other, the day you don't give they will hate you. Siblings and parents fall into this category. They leech on that one person that is making money. If he is married they will hate the wife and say she is turning their brother against them. My fiance is the first son. None of his family members supported him and but since he started making some money, they won't let him be. Every time one problem to another, one school fees, house rent to another. Three of his siblings even live with him currently, he feeds and pay their tuition fees and still sends money to other family member. Right now, he doesn't even have money to complete our marriage rites. And his parents are insisting he finishes their family house in the village first. I tried to advice him he picked offence. It's really crazy