So fellow Nairalanders, here I come again to seek for advice. So I've been managing my relationship with this girl. We been going out for three years now, I'd have married her if not for her insistence on graduating first. I made an initial post about her repulsive attitudes here in an initial post and so many Nairalanders suggested I watch her a little longer. We have been having hiccups here and there but like every other relationships we try to amend it.
Recently I took notice of something. She greets me like I'm just a friend or her classmate. "GM" "gud pm" "morning" "how u dey" "how far" etc. I tried correcting her by educating her that as a potential husband she ought to learn to greet me properly with "Good Morning" or Good Afternoon" or even with my local dialect greeting well spelt instead of "GM" Gud pm" morning" because apart from husband to be, we are not agemates either and in my tradition once a woman is married into a family, she must greet every adult male even though she is senior to most of them. If she finds it difficult to respect me how possible will be for her to respect my family?
After the correction she dropped a bombshell "How many times do you greet me first when u wake up in the morning? And I asked her "So your Dad wakes up and greets ur mom good morning ma first"?
Please Nairalanders is it pride on my part or she is just lacking home training?
Here is a little of our chats

[10/10, 11:38 AM] Boo: Please
You don't greet first except I greet you first
Totally wrong
[10/10, 11:39 AM] Boo: And if I greet you say I don't greet well
[10/10, 11:39 AM] Boo: I greeted you with .....gm..
[10/10, 11:40 AM] Boo: And imagine your response??��‍♀
[10/10, 11:40 AM] : I'm so ashamed of you for that statement
[10/10, 11:40 AM] Boo: Pride says so much of you
[10/10, 11:40 AM] : Does your Dad wake up to greet your mom?
[10/10, 11:41 AM] : Well I would nt be surprised
[10/10, 11:55 AM] : I wonder what you will become suppose u find ordinary 5hundred thousand naira in your account
[10/10, 11:55 AM] : God forbid your type
[10/10, 12:01 PM] Boo: So because you want to show me you are more aged than me?
I must always greet you first?
Have you even for once say it!!!
I have seen very young couples say a lil good morning to each other
You are so fuckn stupidly proud

and this is the one you wanted to marry

As far as a man is concern, what keeps the marriage is respect, understanding and the kids ( not love)

If respect is not in the home, you will live a very miserable life.

Please, do space out the post for others.
-------------------
PS: I don't support women who want to be men and all that bull crap,

Both of you are doing things wrongly, so I don't want you to blame the lady alone.

It seems the greetings are always done through chat? If so, then both of you are not serious. So ignore this comment.

If it is physical or through phone, then there really is a problem from the AFRICAN perspective.

You don't force respect, you earn it by actions mostly and words.

YOU
You don't have to be rigid always and you have to teach her by acting. Stop acting too traditional.

She is right, if you have never greeted her first, it does not spell well of you, it could even be three times in a week. When it is not an authority contest?

I have stayed with families where the husband jokingly greets his wife with, good morning madam after a week she got the message and SIR was the ending of everything she said to the husband.

As a brother, call your woman now and apologize, call her MADAM, this will heighten her sense of value as the potential wife to an OGA.

Just like trust, repect is built too.

HER
she is a millennia.

The truth is, she sees both of you as equals as off now, you are yet to promote the ANIMALISTIC APLHAIC TRAIT in you.

Do not be deceived, women don't really crave for equality, especially with a man that pamper and spoils them.

Stop dragging the authority with her, take it. Stop waiting for her to greet you and all that,do it first and watch her do catch up.

Stop correcting her, put her in a tight corner. You will see how she will improve her game sharply.

Have you seen a child and an adult walking, the child is mostly running, choose your role!

Both of you have become two captain in a ship (relationship) that have been sailing for too long without reaching it destination(marriage).

You are both tired of each other. She is more tired that is why she has put aside the African culture of greeting a man first.

I bet she wasn't behaving like this to you before? She is tired of you.

Frankly

Who greets first is a problem?
You want her to greet you her husband, Good morning Sir?
She say your are fuckn stupidly proud...rude gyal

Let no one deceive you, two of una no well.
Na greeting be una problem, of all the challenges prospective couples face. Break up and spare us future tales.

Guy, i feel your just overreacting, is respect determined by greetings, there is more to respect than that and besides It was online.

If you yourself had respect u wont bring her parents in. Just imagine. it shows your the over demanding type.

So you expect your wife to say "Good morning Sir"?

Which world are you existing?
I'm not saying she shouldn't respect you, but there are other ways of earning respect aside the Sir/Ma syndrome. What if I say you are an old fool Sir?(Ain't insulting you,just an example) will you take it as an insult or respect?

On her part, I think she's not submissive enough.

Accord to her the respect she deserves and watch her respect you too.

RESPECT IS RECIPROCAL

Prec1ous:
Please, do space out the post for others.
-------------------
PS: I don't support women who want to be men and all that bull crap,

Both of you are doing things wrongly, so I don't want you to blame the lady alone.

It seems the greetings are always done through chat? If so, then both of you are not serious. So ignore this comment.

If it is physical or through phone, then there really is a problem from the AFRICAN perspective.

You don't force respect, you earn it by actions mostly and words.

YOU
You don't have to be rigid always and you have to teach her by acting. Stop acting too traditional.

She is right, if you have never greeted her first, it does not spell well of you, it could even be three times in a week. When it is not an authority contest?

I have stayed with families where the husband jokingly greets his wife with, good morning madam after a week she got the message and SIR was the ending of everything she said to the husband.

As a brother, call your woman now and apologize, call her MADAM, this will heighten her sense of value as the potential wife to an OGA.

Just like trust, repect is built too.

HER
she is a millennia.

The truth is, she sees both of you as equals as off now, you are yet to promote the ANIMALISTIC APLHAIC TRAIT in you.

Do not be deceived, women don't really crave for equality, especially with a man that pamper and spoils them.

Stop dragging the authority with her, take it. Stop waiting for her to greet you and all that,do it first and watch her do catch up.

Stop correcting her, put her in a tight corner. You will see how she will improve her game sharply.

Have you seen a child and an adult walking, the child is mostly running, choose your role!

I totally love your stance on advise. The truth is I greet her first sometimes. In fact I'm always the first to chat her up each morning. Yes we only do this on fone cos she is in school and we don't get to see often. I'd wake and send her chats like "Hello darling, how was ur night? And then she'd respond with "it was fine. Gm", I sometimes send GoodMorning Ms. Hope u slept well? And she responds yes I slept well. Gm. So I kinda asked her why she never spells her greetings completely and she starts insulting me.

Some girls are very beautiful on the outside,but they have very ugly manners and character....

....

dulux07:
Guy, i feel your just overreacting, is respect determined by greetings, there is more to respect than that and besides It was online.

If you yourself had respect u wont bring her parents in. Just imagine. it shows your the over demanding type.

I am not sure bringing in her parents was insulting. I only gave her an example of what I mean. I'm not just a boyfriend but a potential hubby. I've given her my ring and she ought to understand that this is going beyond friendship. My Mom never demanded that my dad greets her first, and I only asked her what the routine is like in their home. To a large extent in Africa, a woman is seen as respectful when she greets her hubby. In did case though I'm not demanding, I only asked why she never spells her greetings completely and instead types like she is addressing her ordinary friend. In fact I wouldn't have noticed if she didn't greet at all. But such soulless way of greeting equals disrespect

okenwa:
Both of you have become two captain in a ship (relationship) that have been sailing for too long without reaching it destination(marriage).

You are both tired of each other. She is more tired that is why she has put aside the African culture of greeting a man first.

I bet she wasn't behaving like this to you before? She is tired of you.

Frankly

Thank you for this but truth is we are not tired . I am very sensitive on my part and she is not submissive on her part. She abuses like its her hubby and apologize later. Finds it difficult to bend. Yes she has always been that way only now she gets worse.

GlobalGisting:


I totally love your stance on advise. The truth is I greet her first sometimes. In fact I'm always the first to chat her up each morning. Yes we only do this on fone cos she is in school and we don't get to see often. I'd wake and send her chats like "Hello darling, how was ur night? And then she'd respond with "it was fine. Gm", I sometimes send GoodMorning Ms. Hope u slept well? And she responds yes I slept well. Gm. So I kinda asked her why she never spells her greetings completely and she starts insulting me.

Stop doing it through chat, there is no respect on social media. I don't ever chat with a woman I am dating.

We only call and SMS, I pick offence easily and everything about chat is offensive to me... From the incorrect spellings, incomplete statements, slow response and even the lack of expressiveness and life.

Take your relationship off whatsapp and messenger please and see it done alive again!

ALWAYS CALL YOUR WOMAN EVERY MORNING.
DO NOT EVER FORGET THUS.

dude you are commanding respect instead of earning it

trust me. when dealing with women use logic and drop your ego.....

pocohantas:
Who greets first is a problem?
You want her to greet you her husband, Good morning Sir?
She say your are fuckn stupidly proud...rude gyal

Let no one deceive you, two of una no well.
Na greeting be una problem, of all the challenges prospective couples face. Break up and spare us future tales.

Madam the madam, advise noted...

GlobalGisting:


I am not sure bringing in her parents was insulting. I only gave her an example of what I mean. I'm not just a boyfriend but a potential hubby. I've given her my ring and she ought to understand that this is going beyond friendship. My Mom never demanded that my dad greets her first, and I only asked her what the routine is like in their home. To a large extent in Africa, a woman is seen as respectful when she greets her hubby. In did case though I'm not demanding, I only asked why she never spells her greetings completely and instead types like she is addressing her ordinary friend. In fact I wouldn't have noticed if she didn't greet at all. But such soulless way of greeting equals disrespect

Brother let no one, I mean no one make you feel like you don't deserve the best, bros love would wane, the sexual attraction would fade, but what would keep the family for years to come na respect and good communication together with compatibility. Look at what you would have bought for yourself if not that she insisted on finishing school.

Thank your stars that the signs are becoming glaring so that you can make a decision

but you want your girlfriend to Greet you "good morning sir"
be romantic small na

9japrof:


Brother let no one, I mean no one make you feel like you don't deserve the best, bros love would wane, the sexual attraction would fade, but what would keep the family for years to come na respect and good communication together with compatibility. Look at what you would have bought for yourself if not that she insisted on finishing school.

Thank your stars that the signs are becoming glaring so that you can make a decision

May God bless you my brother

tosyne2much:
May God bless you my brother

And bless you too ma man, Nairaland's premier relationship coach

9japrof:


And bless you too ma man, Nairaland's premier relationship coach

Funny you

"good morning sir" indeed . You people are just starting and you can't even be romantic. After 20years I wonder what is going to happen.

Even my mama wey be old school wife no dey add sir after greeting my dad every morning.

If u ask me, honestly, we can't have women like our mothers anymore. Those women represented a true idea of the womanfolk.
We live in an age where women forget their place and demands much more than expected/reasonable.
Some men are maniacs, agreed, but what's the point of having a woman who thinks herself as the man? As for me, I don't want a man in my life o!
Before the OP brought his relationship issues here, he must have borne alot of disrespect from his woman and I think the relationship is onesided. The man loves his woman more than her him, they should meet each other halfway.
Furthermore, I don't appreciate when my woman greets me GM, what's that for goodness sake? I ought to be treated differently from her friends.
The upsurge of celebrity women in d social media is to blame.
My one pence though.

Too petty. You guys should work things out very quickly before it leads to breakup. I really don't know why we complicate life with simple issues.

Proudgorgeousga:
"good morning sir" indeed . You people are just starting and you can't even be romantic. After 20years I wonder what is going to happen.

Even my mama wey be old school wife no dey add sir after greeting my dad every morning.

Hmmmmmmmm. I didn't ask for a sir, but at least spell the "good morning" instead of gm of gud pm. Or at least respond to my good morning darlyn with soul.

@OP

You - not your girlfriend - need a profound mental change. You're a typical example of a small-minded person. Aside parochialism in particular and pride and conceit in general, I wonder what else would warrant someone to make it mandatory for his wife (another person irrespective of age, social class or gender) to always be the one to first greet him in the morning or initiate caring communications at all times. And to add salt to injury you expect her to be addressing you as sir - not out of her volition and for humour sake. SMH.

Obviously, what you and your family need are female slaves not wives. Apart from your girlfriend's abbreviation of her greeting words, which is bad since you personally don't fancy such and had told her about it, I see no other negative attitude she meted out against you.

Respect is reciprocal, and submissiveness shouldn't be mistaken for servility.

I didn't bother to read your chat with her. Once more, embrace a profound mental change not just a superficial face-lift.

LordKO:
@OP

You - not your girlfriend - need a profound mental change. You're a typical example of a small-minded person. Aside parochialism in particular and pride and conceit in general, I wonder what else would warrant someone to make it mandatory for his wife (another person irrespective of age, social class or gender) to always be the one to first greet him in the morning or initiate caring communications at all times. And to add salt to injury you expect her to be addressing you as sir - not out of her volition and for humour sake. SMH.

Obviously, what you and your family need are female slaves not wives. Apart from your girlfriend's abbreviation of her greeting words, which is bad since you personally don't fancy such and had told her about it, I see no other negative attitude she meted out against you.

Respect is reciprocal, and submissiveness shouldn't be mistaken for servility.

I didn't bother to read your chat with her. Once more, embrace a profound mental change not just a superficial face-lift.

whew!

Dump that girl and get another. She doesnt have any iota of respect for you. You neva marry her, she don dey misbehave. Well na ur own probs.

sKy007:
and this is the one you wanted to marry

As far as a man is concern, what keeps the marriage is respect, understanding and the kids ( not love)

If respect is not in the home, you will live a very miserable life.

It's very obvious that the guy does not respect her sef. They just don't respect each other. Does it matter who says good morning first?
My own mother will see me and say good morning even before I am able to say it, it just depends on if she beats me to it. Sometimes we even say it at the same time, nobody has died cos of it. This guy is on something else if he thinks that who greets first is the big issue.

Now unto the manner of greeting. Im not too big on that but if it's his tradition then whatever, but saying she should be adding sir is just stretching it. But yeah it's his marriage and his babe, I have no opinion.

LordKO:
@OP

You - not your girlfriend - need a profound mental change. You're a typical example of a small-minded person. Aside parochialism in particular and pride and conceit in general, I wonder what else would warrant someone to make it mandatory for his wife (another person irrespective of age, social class or gender) to always be the one to first greet him in the morning or initiate caring communications at all times. And to add salt to injury you expect her to be addressing you as sir - not out of her volition and for humour sake. SMH.

Obviously, what you and your family need are female slaves not wives. Apart from your girlfriend's abbreviation of her greeting words, which is bad since you personally don't fancy such and had told her about it, I see no other negative attitude she meted out against you.

Respect is reciprocal, and submissiveness shouldn't be mistaken for servility.

I didn't bother to read your chat with her. Once more, embrace a profound mental change not just a superficial face-lift.

I agree with u 100%
He doesn't show respect for the girl and yet expects her to show him some.
Next thing he will say she does not kneel down to serve him food

LordKO:
@OP

You - not your girlfriend - need a profound mental change. You're a typical example of a small-minded person. Aside parochialism in particular and pride and conceit in general, I wonder what else would warrant someone to make it mandatory for his wife (another person irrespective of age, social class or gender) to always be the one to first greet him in the morning or initiate caring communications at all times. And to add salt to injury you expect her to be addressing you as sir - not out of her volition and for humour sake. SMH.

Obviously, what you and your family need are female slaves not wives. Apart from your girlfriend's abbreviation of her greeting words, which is bad since you personally don't fancy such and had told her about it, I see no other negative attitude she meted out against you.

Respect is reciprocal, and submissiveness shouldn't be mistaken for servility.

I didn't bother to read your chat with her. Once more, embrace a profound mental change not just a superficial face-lift.

Thanks for this piece but obviously u didn't read my post or u read but didn't understand. I said she greets me wit gm, gud pm even when I greet her first. I may wake up in the morning and greet her "Good Morning darling, how was your night" but she will respond wit "I am fine, GM". I don't demand nor even ask for her greetings, but I hate a soulless greeting as gm, gud pm. Pls read with open mind.

"Sir"?

Make she kuku knee join na

If I say "Ogbeni, booni?" No answer na


Makydebbie! Hope you dey say "Goodmorning Sir" to Omo nna