elantraceey:





Perceived sexual compatibility is defined as the extent to which a couple perceives they share sexual beliefs, preferences, desires, and needs with their partner.(copied) and as far as I've studied it wasn't discussed in the bible, I see it as an excuse coined by those practicing sexual immorality..... I asked based on curiosity and not any of the options you listed above.

The highlighted assertions are not true!
Sexual compatibility is as important as knowing your partner inside out!
Many marriages have crashed due to sexual incompatibility hence it must be taken seriously!!
Lets stop treating S.ex as if it is one untouchable or sinful subject that is engaged by those who practice immorality!!
Thats totally wrong!!

Nnemuka:
i want to also learn because family and friends keep asking me why i dislike a certain guy and i don't know how to tell them that he is a 15 seconds guy. i mean he practically cums before penetration.

Now as a christian how can i say he is a 15seconds guy in a godly way so they can understand

that one na small thing naa.besides u are already nacking each other to know he is a 15sec guy.so there is nothing godly about the situation,tell them as it is ..me I'm wondering how i will ask even her if she can do different styles..like snake in the monkey shadow style...

There is nothing like Sexual compatibility. We have compatibility itself -- which is largely about spiritual maturity, and we have emotional and sexual education. And of course beauty/physical compatibility which is obvious. Any other thing is deceit

GAZZUZZ:
when a virgin meets a virgin, they do not require any compatibility program, they have no history/prior sexual encounters to compare with current one.

If you want to use scripture as standard. Both vessels must be pure.

If either has tasted the forbiden fruit, bible cannot help.

word

Nnemuka:
i want to also learn because family and friends keep asking me why i dislike a certain guy and i don't know how to tell them that he is a 15 seconds guy. i mean he practically cums before penetration.

Now as a christian how can i say he is a 15seconds guy in a godly way so they can understand

Say it as it is! Its your life not theirs..

supersystemsnig:





Now this is the problem ... This generation has been lied to, with the notion of sexual compatibility, this never existed back in the 90s, but to make people drift off course, a seduction was required. The answers lies in the heart and not in the sexual organs. The heart because, the will of both individuals involved in the relationship is where the answer lies. If both individuals wish to honour God than pleasure ( DOn't forget the book of Ecclesiastes in this matter), both will honour God, have good sex lie, and won't be easily dissatisfied with lack of expectations, but too much experimentation brought this generation with a staunch fear that has perverted and contaminated people into a " fixed " state...where the fear of will he/she match my sexual prowess exists..


First, we need to deal with the fear, and deal with our hearts. If we have a God first approach, and God above other things, then we will be fine. So the answer lies in finding someone that has the same reverence with God as us, so the downsides can be complemented in our devotion to God and other areas.

If we truly love God, then the bedmatics won't take the front seat, we accord it.

If we truly want to honour God, then we would deny ourselves pleasure

If we truly are true to honest standards, being single should have impacted some lessons in self denial and restraint and control

If we truly want to honour God, and follow His standards, then we won't give this issue the level of concern we give it

Hope this helps

God bless you!

GAZZUZZ:
when a virgin meets a virgin, they do not require any compatibility program, they have no history/prior sexual encounters to compare with current one.

If you want to use scripture as standard. Both vessels must be pure.

If either has tasted the forbiden fruit, bible cannot help.

Point bro. There is no such thing as sexual compatibility in the bible. However married couples are made to realize that their bodies belong, no longer to themselves, but to their partners. Also that they must endeavor to please each other as much as possible. It's best to marry as virgins as there will be no "prior experience" to compare with. Abstinence is very possible! My wife and I married as virgins at 28. We started practicing sex from our wedding night, awkward at first, but got better over a few months.

jaxxy:


Broda maxwell or is it micxwell I'm serious sir.

It's obvious na... Lol

what I know,

1) God created sex or made it " wired" in our life.

2) God hates fornication /adultery =sexual immortality.

3) God by the scriptures fully approves sex /sexual pleasure in marriage.

4) even to the point of prayer/abstinence,(for the married )u want to stay off sex, your partner must be informed & it must only be for a short time( check the book of Corinthian)

therefore is seem to be a need (by implication)


now my own perspective,

openness/sincerity in courtship is key to intending couples to understand each other sex inclusive.

before u get to talk about anything including sex, u have to settle it in your mind and as companion/or intended couple that this is the person you are going to marry-100%

it is not to know if u are compatible with someone that u now decide to marry them.

why? because the two of u are on a life long journey and u will go through 1001 things in life (things that u never have passed through) which u have to resolve to stick together and solve or overcome (overcome is the more appropriate word) .
this include sex.

take Joseph & Mary as an example,
they were betrothed already ( my interpretation is both already decided that this is my life partner).
now a new problem emerges,
marry is pregnant, they now need to solve.

option1: Joseph could leave,. this is acceptable by biblical standard. but remember in doing so, he wanted to do it quietly and without disgracing her.

option 2: Joseph listened to God and accepted to go ahead after God spoke to him.

option 3, even after hearing God, Joseph might still want to leave, (this is what most people will do)
why because they have not settled it in their mind that that is the person they are going to marry.

take Isaac and Rachael,

take Zachariah & Elizabeth, it is because they have settled it in their mind and to themselves that they are life partner not samplers.

I remember I once asked my wife (during courtship) that what happens if I want sex and she is very tired or having her period.

her answer: (not word for word):

we would have had great time of sex before such would happen,

because I love her ,I can feel her being tired inside me, I would likely subdue my thought to give her time to rest a while before I bring it up again.
however where I am not able to control, she would take a shower & do what needs to be done.

Sup elantraceey, Your thread is of good interest to me, Can we just chat here ? Just reply this msg when you're ready

cruchenutii:
Sup elantraceey, Your thread is of good interest to me, Can we just chat here ? Just reply this msg when you're ready

Now would have been a good time but I don't know if it's the same for you.

elantraceey:


Now would have been a good time but I don't know if it's the same for you.

Not really, but i can still chat & say some few things before I sleep.

---- Here we go, First of all, I'm a Male & Christian.

This has been one keen issue bothering me for a while.

First problem is, I know the Word of God says we should NOT commit fornication or otherwise.

Even so, I find it really hard to keep up & abstain in a relationship being that I used to be active sexually before entering a Christian Courtship.

Moreso, I also discover (From personal experience) that women are more emotionally connected when sex is involved. This is really paramount in any relationship.

-- So About sexual compatibility, As someone said "If both parties are virgins (both in mind and body), there will be no issue of compatibility, cos you are entering the marriage with a clean heart, and have the knowledge of just your spouse"

So what if one of the two parties (OR BOTH) are not virgins?

Once you start discussing Sex in a Christian Courtship , The temptation will crawl in. Its only a matter of time, So sometimes I ask myself If these Rules are actually meant for us. I am confused honestly.

cruchenutii:


Not really, but i can still chat & say some few things before I sleep.

---- Here we go, First of all, I'm a Male & Christian.

This has been one keen issue bothering me for a while.

First problem is, I know the Word of God says we should NOT commit fornication or otherwise.

Even so, I find it really hard to keep up & abstain in a relationship being that I used to be active sexually before entering a Christian Courtship.

Moreso, I also discover (From personal experience) that women are more emotionally connected when sex is involved. This is really paramount in any relationship.

-- So About sexual compatibility, As someone said "If both parties are virgins (both in mind and body), there will be no issue of compatibility, cos you are entering the marriage with a clean heart, and have the knowledge of just your spouse"

So what if one of the two parties (OR BOTH) are not virgins?


Once you start discussing Sex in a Christian Courtship , The temptation will crawl in. Its only a matter of time, So sometimes I ask myself If these Rules are actually meant for us. I am confused honestly.

@ the bolded this primarily is the reason I created this thread, it's only a very few people today that became real Christians without having engaged in any sexual activity but some people that commented chose to give a blond eye to this.


Lol the rule I believe is meant for everywhere and here's where grace comes in to give you the ability to do what you can't ordinarily do on your own. If you must, you don't have to discuss about sex all the time and if at all, it should be when you both are not together.



There's one thing I hold on to dearly, if you're truly led by God, he won't led to into marrying a wrong woman or someone that isn't fit for you, his ways are perfect and his thoughts towards us are good to lead us to an expected end which certainly won't be a failed or unhappy marriage.

elantraceey:

@ the bolded this primarily is the reason I created this thread, it's only a very few people today that became real Christians without having engaged in any sexual activity but some people that commented chose to give a blond eye to this.


Lol the rule I believe is meant for everywhere and here's where grace comes in to give you the ability to do what you can't ordinarily do on your own. If you must, you don't have to discuss about sex all the time and if at all, it should be when you both are not together.



There's one thing I hold on to dearly, if you're truly led by God, he won't led to into marrying a wrong woman or someone that isn't fit for you, his ways are perfect and his thoughts towards us are good to lead us to an expected end which certainly won't be a failed or unhappy marriage.

But this is where you get it wrong though, Being led to someone doesn't mean the person will be compatible sexually. Sex is an Art & has nothing to do with Spirituality, this is the part that people don't understand.

& that is why some Pastors still have some sexual issues in their Marriage.

You need to be sure of what you want. The right size of Dic.k. How long it takes you to get an Orgasm. Does your partner take you to that length? Answers you should know.

These things may sound dirty. But when you enter the marriage, You will know how important it is.

cruchenutii:


But this is where you get it wrong though, Being led to someone doesn't mean the person will be compatible sexually. Sex is an Art & has nothing to do with Spirituality, this is the part that people don't understand.

& that is why some Pastors still have some sexual issues in their Marriage.

You need to be sure of what you want. The right size of Dic.k. How long it takes you to get an Orgasm. Does your partner take you to that length? Answers you should know.

Things things may sound dirty. But when you enter the marriage, You will know how important it is.

Not everyone that claims to be led by God are actually being led by God. I'f God is true and his word is true, do you think it should be difficult for him to actually lead us to someone that'll satisfy us sexually? Shouldn't God know us and what's actually best for us more than we do?

elantraceey:


Not everyone that claims to be led by God are actually being led by God. I'f God is true and his word is true, do you think it should be difficult for him to actually lead us to someone that'll satisfy us sexually? Shouldn't God know us and what's actually best for us more than we do?

True, So how do we know we are actually led by God?. That's another issue.

Reason is you had fallen in love with that person (Man OR Woman) already, So what If God says he's not the one? Many people will hear that voice & ignore OR not even recognize it at that point.

Or how are we led by God again? Except for his voice & through dreams? Another is to consult a Pastor or Prophet concerning our spouse (Which usually results to them telling you what God hasn't said).

Honestly I have heard cases, bad ones. Sometimes, its just good to verify by yourself.

cruchenutii:


True, So how do we know we are actually led by God?. That's another issue.

Reason is you had fallen in love with that person (Man OR Woman) already, So what If God says he's not the one? Many people will hear that voice & ignore OR not even recognize it at that point.

Or how are we led by God again? Except for his voice & through dreams? Another is to consult a Pastor or Prophet concerning our spouse (Which usually results to them telling you what God hasn't said).

Honestly I have heard cases, bad ones. Sometimes, its just good to verify by yourself.

Before searching for a spouse we should ensure we've mastered to an extent the act of being led by the spirit, the issue is that a lot of us are impatient and what we call falling in 'love' most times is not love, could be lust, an attraction or anything else.


There are marriages today that had more than enough premarital sex and still ended up badly, there are people that their lifestyle, attitude, etc changes after marriage that even after getting married to someone that aced or your requirements you can still get highly disappointed later on, you can never to be too sure of anything and that's life, it's preferable to just follow God and his leading because he alone knows the end from the beginning.

elantraceey:



Before searching for a spouse we should ensure we've mastered to an extent the act of being led by the spirit, the issue is that a lot of us are impatient and what we call falling in 'love' most times is not love, could be lust, an attraction or anything else.


There are marriages today that had more than enough premarital sex and still ended up badly, there are people that their lifestyle, attitude, etc changes after marriage that even after getting married to someone that aced or your requirements you can still get highly disappointed later on, you can never to be too sure of anything and that's life, it's preferable to just follow God and his leading because he alone knows the end from the beginning.

it's preferable to just follow God and his leading because he alone knows the end from the beginning.

True.

Before searching for a spouse we should ensure we've mastered to an extent the act of being led by the spirit

This is not actually realistic, but I will say my reasons in the morning, I want to sleep now. Cheers thanks for the good chat. God bless

cruchenutii:



it's preferable to just follow God and his leading because he alone knows the end from the beginning.

True.

Before searching for a spouse we should ensure we've mastered to an extent the act of being led by the spirit

This is not actually realistic, but I will say my reasons in the morning, I want to sleep now. Cheers thanks for the good chat. God bless

I'll be waiting for your reasons then. Do have a lovely night rest.

elantraceey:


Yes it helps a lot, I believe if there was no internet or media, a lot of sex related issues couples face today will be nonexistent, we've unconsciously allowed what read and watch to conform our desires. Hmmmm I totally agree with you ' I'f we truly want to honour God and follow his standards, then we won't give this issue the level of concern we give it'.

I disagree with you elanraceey. Even in the old days women eloped with their lovers, discovered their men where not who they wanted they only reason some suffered in silence is because divorce was highly frowned at and widows were ostracized so I will obect to you notion that internet doesn't necessarily play a. Major role in this

OfficialAwol:
The only way to discuss it is to go " Under the Duvet" and kick it.

Then you shall be making an informed decision. You'd get to find out if your woman/man can match your sexual prowess or enduring your sexual weakness as the case maybe.

Remember that some those who refused to heed this practical advise have ended up throwing Christianity to call it quits on long run when reality dawned on them.

Reason, Africa reason!

You spoke as a carnal man will speak.

GAZZUZZ:
when a virgin meets a virgin, they do not require any compatibility program, they have no history/prior sexual encounters to compare with current one.

If you want to use scripture as standard. Both vessels must be pure.

If either has tasted the forbiden fruit, bible cannot help.

Best comment ever on this post. Thumbs up

Now this is the problem ... This generation has been lied to, with the notion of sexual compatibility, this never existed back in the 90s, but to make people drift off course, a seduction was required. The answers lies in the heart and not in the sexual organs. The heart because, the will of both individuals involved in the relationship is where the answer lies. If both individuals wish to honour God than pleasure ( DOn't forget the book of Ecclesiastes in this matter), both will honour God, have good sex lie, and won't be easily dissatisfied with lack of expectations, but too much experimentation brought this generation with a staunch fear that has perverted and contaminated people into a " fixed " state...where the fear of will he/she match my sexual prowess exists..


First, we need to deal with the fear, and deal with our hearts. If we have a God first approach, and God above other things, then we will be fine. So the answer lies in finding someone that has the same reverence with God as us, so the downsides can be complemented in our devotion to God and other areas.

If we truly love God, then the bedmatics won't take the front seat, we accord it.

If we truly want to honour God, then we would deny ourselves pleasure

If we truly are true to honest standards, being single should have impacted some lessons in self denial and restraint and control

If we truly want to honour God, and follow His standards, then we won't give this issue the level of concern we give it

Hope this helps

Beautiful...


This goes to show we still have sane Christians who has swarm like the dead fishes do with the tides.

LordReed:


It can and should be discussed in the context of preparing to be married. The challenge is the way sex has been represented or rather been misrepresented. We are exposed to sex in ways that present it simultaneously as something to be ashamed of and to crave wantonly. Sex is presented like a competition for who has the longest dick, can last the longest in bed or how many sexual partners you've had while at the same time making it seem like a dirty, base act. This distortion will not allow people to speak properly about it because they are caught between being sex freaks or self Righteous repressed "virgins".

The first step will be to reorganize what you know and think about sex. Drop the idea that you have to be a porn star to know about or like sex. Drop the idea that sex is a dirty act. Embrace the idea that you are adequate for sex even if you don't have a big dick or gigantic boobs. Embrace the idea that sex is a healthy act to be enjoyed with your life partner.

Next is to obtain information on what exactly you should do before, during and after sex. People think sex is just like sleeping on a bed facing up or facing down. No people, sex is more than that, sex starts way before the action itself. Learn these things and be educated so that you can prepare yourself to speak intelligently and act appropriately when the time comes.

The biggest challenge in sexual matters is self control. Whether single or married this challenge will hit you every day. This is one thing that personalizes this issue because nobody can stop you from feeling "Hot", you will have to control yourself in those moments, no one can do it for you.

In discussing sex, speak honestly about your desires and your views on sex. If you are with someone who is sensible they will also open up to you about their own desires and views and you can begin the process of examining sexual compatibility. Be careful though "sexual predators" can seize the opportunity to make moves because you might be vulnerable.

All in all ask God for wisdom because it is profitable to direct.

Did you really say this Lordreed. I thought you are a atheist

Thugnificent:
Did you really say this Lordreed. I thought you are a atheist

Said it when I was still a Christian.

LordReed:

Said it when I was still a Christian.

I still wonder what came about the change.

elantraceey:
Happy Sunday Y'all.



We all know the stance of the scripture on premarital sex, for those of us that have doubts or have forgotten, let me refresh your minds.


Ephesians 5:3 (KJV) But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints;

Hebrews 13:4 (ESV) Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

1 Corinthians 6:18 (ESV) Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
3 It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, 5 not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God;


Just to mention a few.


That said and done, Inasmuchas as marriage is not all about sex but sex do form an integral part of marital union and it's benefits cannot be overemphasized. God created sex for our pleasure and enjoyment but when there happens to dissatisfaction from one party then problems are bound to occur.


So practical Christians that strictly practice and are practicing no sex before marriage how can sexual compatibility be discussed without 'polluting' the spirit?

Do you sit down a village girl who hasn't eaten cake before about her favorite cake before taking her to the city as a maid? That how you topic is sounding to me. Illogical.

elantraceey:



I still wonder what came about the change.

Well, you could say my eyes got opened.

LordReed:


Well, you could say my eyes got opened.

How's the family though? Baby girl will be all grown up now.

elantraceey:




How's the family though? Baby girl will be a grown up now.

Doing well thanks for asking. She is, even has a lil sister now.

LordReed:

Do well thanks for asking. She is, even has a lil sister now.

Wow, awesome! Congratulations.