Tunde and I met a year after I resume work with the company I worked for before my current job.I am a graduate of Botany, I also had my MSc immediately I completed my Youth service.
I was raised in a good Christian family with sound moral up bringing. I believe this contributed immensely to why I was still intact before I met my husband. my parents have been happily married for as long as I have known them.
Tunde, was not my dream man, but since he was the only guy that seems a bit committed among all those hanging around me, I had to give in to him, besides, I have been facing a lot of pressure from my parents especially my mum. I was already approaching 28years old.
The challenges started during our courtship, but because I was naive, I didn’t see anything wrong. For instance, when, Tunde was to rent a place, he asked me to contribute to the rent, when he was to equip the apartment he also asked I should do this and do that. Which I obliged. My dad even called to warn me, but I went against his word.(Pls spinsters be warn.if a man wants to marry you, let him do the needful, at least before you move in)
Immediately, after our wedding, my husband behaviour started changing. The up keep allowance, he slash into two. When I asked why, he warn me never to try it again, asked if am not earning enough to take care of the house. I actually thought maybe it because of inflation and that he might have some future plans, like investment. Few weeks later, he gotba better job, with over 200% increase in salary. But rather for things to improve in the house, they rather got worse. Rather than getting increase in allowance, the little he was bringing was not consistent anymore. My birthday with come and go, same with our anniversary, but my husband will never get me a gift.
There was this fateful evening i came home early than expected because i was not feeling too well, i was amazed to see my help with a tight fitted new jeans which sh didnt have before, and i know I did not buy it for her, so I enquire how she got it. But she said Uncle Tunde referring to my husband gave her.See me see wahala.I wanted to give her the beating of her life, but restrained myself. By the time I finished with her I discovered he even gave her money too.
That evening I confronted him(Tunde) that evening, he was mad, saying how dare me, ask him, that he observed she didn’t have clothes, so he bought her some. I knew water don’t pass garrison. Quickly the next day, i sent her packing. That evening when my husband came back and discovered she was gone, he started showing anger in everything I do.
That weekend, when I asked for money for weekend. I said he didn’t have. I told him I also don’t have a dime with me. So, he left, on getting back and asked for his food, Before I could simply reply I didn’t cook because I had nothing on me, I had received a sound slap. I felt like tunder, I saw star.
Next day I ran to my parents, and explain what happened, they simply replied I should have borrowed and made his food.
From that day, I never got a penny from him, paying of my children fees, cooking and so much.the financial burden became enormous. Some, times, he will not touch me for months. The slightest thing I do or say provokes him. The beating became frequent, I feared for my life, to the point I don’t even say a word when he is talking.
I started to loose my self esteem. Thinking something was wrong with me. At a point in time, I thought I had offended God and he was punishing me. Why because, Tunde was making more money. Changing jobs. I mistakenly stumble on a duplicate CPV, domestic allowance for a particular month N350k.
We had 3 cars, but he doesn’t allow me to drive any. Besides, I had to use okada , at time taxi when taking our kids out.
This continue for almost 5 years. I was in hell on earth in my marriage, I cried everyday, my boss was always consoling and counseling me. I prayed like Hanah in the bible yet it looks like God himself was against me.
The very first company Tunde, worked after he left the company where we met was a stone throw from my parents place. But he hardly visit. In shut, for the two years he spent there, he never visited my family.
One day I got home and met Tunde at home. I couldn’t ask why he was early, it was after few days I got to know he was sacked as this was obvious.soon days became months. Everyday, I hear him fighting and shouting on the phone.
Before, I knew what was happening my hubby has spent nine months at home. Firstly, I discovered, he was now unbelievably calm, soft spoken, and helping out with the house shores, besides, he was not keeping late nights again .Offering to drop the kids in school, evening bathing them in the morning. One morning, as I was about leaving the house, he walked up to me as gentle as a dove and asked if i could assist with the our rent that the land lord threatened to throw us out.
As time went by discovered that all his friends who enjoyed his money had all left him, most especially lady, he would do or go anywhere for. I recall any occasion where he was to take me and the kids somewhere, just at the eleventh hour he called we should find our way there. We took okada and ended up having an accident but God protect us that only the bike man was injured. I later found out he took Bimbo the lady out.
Just few days I got an offer for another job in a multinational company. My husband has been offering to also be dropping me off at work along with the kids. Sincerely, I don’t feel anything for him anymore. He neglected me for several years.Abused me physically, emotionally, psychologically. I almost ran mad, at a time I contemplated suicide. But for my kids….
What didn’t this man do to me? Was it the one he asked me to go to the back sit so Bimbo could sit in front on an occasion, or is it those few times he touched me when he was drunk. He would just throw himself at me and force me without even considering my state of mind(tear dropping).I can go on & on. But God say my pains, and rescued me.
Madam Jzhane, though he has been apologizing that’s the devil. Am scared, I don’t know what to do. He is still like a stranger to me.
I need you help plsss!
Judith,

Agege.



www.livelystones.com.ng

Forgiveness is bae!



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Too long

matters that touch...

There was this fateful evening i came home early than expected because i was not feeling too well, i was amazed to see my help with a tight fitted new jeans which sh didnt have before, and i know I did not buy it for her, so I enquire how she got it. But she said Uncle Tunde referring to my husband gave her.See me see wahala.I wanted to give her the beating of her life, but restrained myself. By the time I finished with her I discovered he even gave her money too.
That evening I confronted him(Tunde) that evening, he was mad, saying how dare me, ask him, that he observed she didn’t have clothes, so he bought her some. I knew water don’t pass garrison. Quickly the next day, i sent her packing.

Only part I like.

Abeg dey hold u for that marriage? na by force?

Divorce him.

forgive hm, he is still ur husband. If he cn b dis good wtout a job/money , he shud beta remain jobless.

Very unfortunate...
NOTE: it’s too early to conclude that he has changed for the better, everything u are seen could simply be as a result of his present predicament.
I will advise u keep saving as much as u can for ur children because as far as I’m concerned based on this ur story u are just a single mother with the prefix Mrs.
Keep praying for God to intervene also keep observing at the same time. Pray for him to get another job and hope for the best but whatever happen eventually make sure u have enough money to take care of urself and ur children.

Lalas247:
matters that touch...

People need to dey tink well oooo... Abeg wetin op dey try talk self

ORAGBON:


....... I was raised in a good Christian family with sound moral up bringing. I believe this contributed immensely to why I was still intact before I met my husband.

Lies...the way some ladies can pretend ehn. Being a virgin doesn't mean you haven't been squeezed and romanced thoroughly.

Some guys will marry virgins & be feeling fly, not knowing their wives are like unopened biscuits that have been tossed around every where and is just crumbs inside.

ORAGBON:
Tunde, was not my dream man, but since he was the only guy that seems a bit committed among all those hanging around me, I had to give in to him, besides, I have been facing a lot of pressure from my parents especially my mum. I was already approaching 28years old.

When all the guys playing with you are scared to get serious with you, then you should have known that your problem pass their power.

You didn't even love your husband before marriage yet you expected him to move heaven and earth for you? Issokay.

ORAGBON:
The challenges started during our courtship, but because I was naive, I didn’t see anything wrong. For instance, when, Tunde was to rent a place, he asked me to contribute to the rent, when he was to equip the apartment he also asked I should do this and do that. Which I obliged. My dad even called to warn me, but I went against his word.(Pls spinsters be warn.if a man wants to marry you, let him do the needful, at least before you move in)

A 28 year old woman who is dependent on her husband, wants the man to take care of everything by himself? God help us.

Where are all the ladies clamoring for equality on NL? See how some ladies react when their man asks them to take equal responsibility financially.

ORAGBON:
Immediately, after our wedding, my husband behaviour started changing. The up keep allowance, he slash into two. When I asked why, he warn me never to try it again, asked if am not earning enough to take care of the house. I actually thought maybe it because of inflation and that he might have some future plans, like investment. Few weeks later, he gotba better job, with over 200% increase in salary. But rather for things to improve in the house, they rather got worse. Rather than getting increase in allowance, the little he was bringing was not consistent anymore. My birthday with come and go, same with our anniversary, but my husband will never get me a gift.

A married woman that can't even spare change to take care of the house without nagging her husband..chai

Wedding Anniversary - He should buy you gift and take you out.

His Birthday - He should take you out.

Your Birthday - He should buy you gift.

Carry on my sister, it is well.

ORAGBON:
There was this fateful evening i came home early than expected because i was not feeling too well, i was amazed to see my help with a tight fitted new jeans which sh didnt have before, and i know I did not buy it for her, so I enquire how she got it. But she said Uncle Tunde referring to my husband gave her.See me see wahala.I wanted to give her the beating of her life, but restrained myself. By the time I finished with her I discovered he even gave her money too.
That evening I confronted him(Tunde) that evening, he was mad, saying how dare me, ask him, that he observed she didn’t have clothes, so he bought her some. I knew water don’t pass garrison. Quickly the next day, i sent her packing. That evening when my husband came back and discovered she was gone, he started showing anger in everything I do.

Which one is tight fitted jean again, is jean suppossed to be loose before?

So because your husband bought clothese for your maid, you proceeded to deal with her, send her packing and confront your husband? Because of clothe? How is he supposed to be happy??

ORAGBON:

That weekend, when I asked for money for weekend. I said he didn’t have. I told him I also don’t have a dime with me. So, he left, on getting back and asked for his food, Before I could simply reply I didn’t cook because I had nothing on me, I had received a sound slap. I felt like tunder, I saw star.
Next day I ran to my parents.....

You can beat your househelp black and blue, but just 1 slap dem give you na em you run

ORAGBON:

Just few days I got an offer for another job in a multinational company. My husband has been offering to also be dropping me off at work along with the kids. Sincerely, I don’t feel anything for him anymore.

Then please go. Is it because of job? With your selfish and self entitled character, it is a wonder how you will survive there.

Even the men loading coca cola crates into trucks 'work for a multinational company'.

mikedimeji:
Very unfortunate...
NOTE: it’s too early to conclude that he has changed for the better, everything u are seen could simply be as a result of his present predicament.
I will advise u keep saving as much as u can for ur children because as far as I’m concerned based on this ur story u are just a single mother with the prefix Mrs.
Keep praying for God to intervene also keep observing at the same time. Pray for him to get another job and hope for the best but whatever happen eventually make sure u have enough money to take care of urself and ur children.

Seconded he said it all. Just focus more yourself, work n kids. You can forgive him Sha but don't trust him that much, he only change because of his predicament and it seems he doesn't love you. How can he has 3 cars yet his family trek, enter public transport n even got accident. And the most painful part he beats you.

lol,and i'm here wondering the correlation between virginity and this post

cyndy1000:





Seconded he said it all. Just focus more yourself, work n kids. You can forgive him Sha but don't trust him that much, he only change because of his predicament and it seems he doesn't love you. How can he has 3 cars yet his family trek, enter public transport n even got accident. And the most painful part he beats you.

I don’t just want to go into the details of the story and I don’t want to use fowl language for the man. She was treated worse than a slave. Her best bet is to focus on herself and kids and not be deceived by his present change of attitude.
Know ur place in peoples life and act accordingly.

IamKashyBaby:
Being a virgin wont keep a man or keep the marriage intact ...

Next time, slap him with a hot frying pan so he will wake up

It triples the probability after one child

mikedimeji:

I don’t just want to go into the details of the story and I don’t want to use fowl language for the man. She was treated worse than a slave. Her best bet is to focus on herself and kids and not be deceived by his present change of attitude.
Know ur place in peoples life and act accordingly.

True talk my dear.

which kind school u go sef, to write something in summary na wahala for u, mtcheeew.....

see as her story long like 3rd mainland bridge.

Am so happy for u sis. It's God that is dealing with him . Forgive but don't forget. Don't be proud. Spend ur money wisely. That is how God will be dealing with ungrateful and useless husbands one by one

Lalas247:
matters that touch...

barka de SALLAH

You married the wrong man! Don't bring virginity into this, stop trying to confuse teens with determination to wait with your pathetic story!

IamKashyBaby:
Being a virgin wont keep a man or keep the marriage intact ...

Next time, slap him with a hot frying pan so he will wake up

turning me on like a new engine

IamKashyBaby:



Nothing better than to feel the sweetest pain My Love

My 3rd leg ooooooo


Want to bite u

iamJ:


My 3rd leg ooooooo


Want to bite u

Guys please can you get a room...

Like what did we do to deserve this ... I swear it's like both of you don't have anything better to do though

thesicilian:

Only part I like.

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