spoilt:

I dont see why people cant understand the simple[b] social courtesies[/b] involved here.

Be it in the office setting, home front or board room, it is understood that you dont speak languages that other people around dont understand. Usually its an unspoken rule. Some companies go as far as having it in their employee hand book. It is for a reason, believe it or not. Put yourself in the shoes of the person who doesnt understand the language. You could be in the company of these people for 24 hours or the greater part of your day and not understand a single word that is said. If that is not akward I dont know what is! Its not simply because you think they are talking about you. They could be joking and laughing their heads off and you would just sit there playing with your nails completely lost not even able to enjoy the jokes. I dont see why anyone would have a problem riverting to a mutual language. It really should be instinctive. When you see the other person looking lost why would you not want to include them in the conversations? I guess you cant force your ethiquette on people.  

What would end up happening is that when they start speaking their language after some time she'll probably end you going to the other room to watch some Tv that she actually understands.   . Next thing you hear is the patronising comments like " Ah, ah our wife dont you like sitting with us"?. "Why are you always running"?  She cant win in this situation. Ive been there before.

coolier:

What has 'social courtesies' got to do with the way one runs his household, or whatever happens in one's home? Is his home a public house? or a government secretariat? And understood by whom exactly? In offices and your so called board rooms of course they would speak English because that is Nigeria's lingua franca. But in his home Igbo Language is their official language, because that is where they come from and who they are! His wife voluntarily married him, left her family and became part of his family, and that is why she signed off her family name to the husbands family name, making her Ibo by marriage. She should be proud to learn and speak the language if she loves her husband. She has no excuses whatsoever.

And she doesn't need to run to the other room to watch TV when they're speaking their language, she should just run back to her father's house where they speak English.

illusion2:

Ok. I'm just trying to understand why you don't speak your OWN language with your siblings then ?

aisha2:

We were raised far north, We speak our language but Hausa is more comfy for all of us

jennykadry:

Some people have allowed the westernized world cover their sense of reasoning/judgement[/b], i was about asking the same question, whats the relationship btw a board room and a mans home abeg? we are talking about a mans private life here,his family and someone is toking about board room, [b]who is [b]understanding what?  what has companies and employees hand book got to do with the the poster that needs help in HIS HOUSE[/b]

As long as i remain a nigerian, i dont care if ive become a citizen of some country, but as long as i remain originally from nigeria, English is not my first language, any body that wants to tok about board room should go tell that to the oyibos

This mans wife is just being wicked, sorry poster but thats the truth, you need to sit her down and be firm with her, she just cant bring problems into your house , no way

lannre:

Women and their phenomenon, My Dear talk to your woman, let her know that know harm is meant, when you people are courting even if your mum speaks latin she was not complaining then. Now she "is in charge" your home should be homely enough for her that is just the secret. Talk to her like a Darling will to a wife. I believe she will understand,since Mama will soon leave. Wish U all the best.

spoilt:

In fairness the OP did not say his wife and mother inlaw dont get along. He said his mother likes his wife! So when she wants to be able to understand whats going on around her I dont think its out of spite or insecurities. She probably wants to belong.

jennykadry:

You doubt, but the poster is telling us whats happening, im not going to add words or put words into the posters mouth

When they were dating, she did not complain, when she got married, she did not complain, prolly cos she never get pikin, now that shes got a child she wants to nag, i never for one day told my husband, "oh pls stop speaking yoruba with your friends when im there" if we are toking about compromise here, this is where it fits in, if i tell him to stop speaking yoruba, he def would, but at the same time the relationship and conversation will never be the same again, there will be a gap in the relationship, this pple r his childhood friends, this pple have been speaking this lang right from their sec school days, not to talk of the OP and the mother.

My question is : why is she complaining now? if she doesnt like it , let her talk to her hubby like shes done, but not get the poor woman involved in this, keeping or staying away from this woman, will make her un comfy, shes gonna ask herself what shes done wrong? it will hasten her leaving the house, the house will be like a living nightmare to her, this is a woman that shes got a good rapport with,and all of a sudden this woman avoids her like shes got AIDS, shes happy to come baby sit and cook for u and your hubby, why not just shut up

she is begining to distance herself from my mom and thereby indirectly and obliviously severing the relationship between herself and my mom.

spoilt:

When my mum spoke Igbo, I did not wait for my husband to ask her not to so he could understand what was being said. I told her not to myself without him even knowing it!
I know he is trying to learn. I interprete some words to him every now and then. Its not easy trying to learn a new language you know.
I doubt that only a few sentences will have him starting a thread on Nairaland. I doubt it. If its really instinctive then its normal for a few intended sentences to evolve into a full blow conversation.

And honestly the Ibo she speaks is more like asking harmless questions like wat do i want to eat? wen will i eat? she is begining to distance herself from my mom and thereby indirectly and obliviously severing the relationship between herself and my mom. i warned her to be very careful becos if anything happens i will end up being in the middle of the whole scenerio.

006:

@ poster, it's a pity but it's obvious to me that your wife does not like your language and probably does not like your mother. You're in a real problem I will say. Being married to her for a while now, she can't even understand the simplest of Igbo.
If you are crazy, send your mum home like you suggested, but if you are sane, which I assume you are, tell your wife to deal with it.
Does your wife even go to your village? If she does, do they speak English to her?
She should have known this before marrying someone from another ethnic group.

It’s when wives have kids, especially male kids, that they start displaying their true characters. This is the first taste of it, more to follow. If you’re lily livered, give in to her and she would send all your siblings and parents running from your house.

Fhemmmy:

Congrats on the birth of your new born baby . . . .make u name the baby, Fhemmmy ( No better name than that)

On the issue of your Mom and your wife, i think it is rude to speak a language that your wife will not understand while she is around, only you know that she was asking harmless question, as far as your wife is concerns, you Mom could be saying she has big tommy and ugly, so try to speak english while your wife is around or speak whatever she understand.

jennykadry:

you are a woman, you will be a mother someday, you will have kids of your own, male and female, dont say that

mama-gee:

Why shouldn't I say that?