well for a faithful wife i will say she should 1st get tested and immediately move out of her husbands bedroom. After that, find a job or a side hustle. Save for 2 months and pack your children one day and take off. Leave a note for the guy though where he can come and find you. Men take women that rely on them to survive for granted. Because they know ur going no where. So a good woman should first separate from the man, because this is a very terrible environment for the children she is trying to stay in the marriage for. Also if she catches aids, her children are going to be orphans. And there is no one that can take care of a child like its mother. To all those always proffering prayer for every situation, God says heaven helps those who helps themselves. So please help yourself by running away as soon as possible. We all came to this world alone and will leave alone to answer papa God for our sins. You dont owe any man your life because you have a ring, a ring is just metal that will not stand the test of time. But the legacy you leave in your children will, that is if you make yourself available and healthy for them.

Now that the dynamics have changed and she has become like him, then i say they both deserve each other. She should have waited and done the right thing before dating another man. And even if she was to date someone else, it should be an unmarried man or a divorcee like her. Since both of them are now birds of a feather, i suggest they stick together and kill themselves in the process.

^In Nigeria, a lot of the time, the cheating on the part of men is overlooked and sometimes as incredible as it sounds, the wives are blamed for their husband's cheating. Why didn't she make the house more inviting? Why didn't she take better care of herself? Why did she not beg him to forgive her for whatever she did that has caused him to dislike her enough to cheat? Who is she expecting to be a father figure for her kids?
In the end, seperating actually seems to habour more humiliation than remaining in the marriage. You obviously don't live in Nigeria, that is why you don't know how these things go.

@ Cyberfreak, you saved me some saliva.  
Women often take full blame for a failed marriage. For some men even if you chop your head off and lay it at his feet, it will still not be enough.
My husband has it good. I've gone over and beyond what a woman should do for a man in this marriage all in trying to be a good and perfect wife. The day I sense that it is not enough, I get the kid (of course I get the kid!  )  and fall off the face of this earth.  let him sit and wonder if the perfect life he had was a figment of his imagination.  

[b]Yes, there is so much God can do for us and I'm sure you've presented this matter to God in prayers so many times.  However, I suggest you stop bothering God and move on as he has much more important things to do with humans who genuinely need his deliverance.

With the way your guy is behaving, he does not seem to bothered about his deliverance neither does he care about his salvation.  Well, he won't get it unless he sincerely repents.  ??Doubts!  Therefore,  kick him out before he infects you with horrible diseases out there.  Remember, infidelity is the only reason/excuse to cast this looser out!  Also remember, you are obliged to care and focus on your children - if they loose you in a sorry marriage as this as a result of broken-heart or disease, you have yourself to blame for ever. Perhaps, some day, some man who cares and appreciate love/respect from a good woman like you could be next door.  You mustn't doubt it!

Having said that, I still stand by my belief that marriage is not compulsory and you don't need to be married to feel a 'complete woman' after all, you were born alone, weren't you??  Yes, you don't need a man! Though, it can be hard going raising children on your own but you can cope as many women have done it successfully, all over the world e.g widows, black women during the slave trade etc. Therefore, salvage your dignity and decide whether you are entitled to a life long joy/happiness alone on your own, in a respectable marriage OR in a miserable and unhappy trust-less marriage for life. 

I assume you live in the 3rd world therefore, I suggest if you can, 'hit' the town with your children in a totally different location/environment where your guy won't disturb your peace.  But if the West, I don't need to suggest any thing as the world is your 'Oyster' Enjoy your life! Personally, the moment he strays he is 'history' I can assure you. I rather struggle raising my children in happiness, peace and tranquillity than remaining in a trust-less, loveless and stressful marriage, thanks ever-so-much to whoever might suggest otherwise!
Good luck with any decision you might make![/b]

turn him in2 a castrated he goat
just joking
serial cheat = seriously wahala dey ohhh

@ honeyguy


My mind may be twisted from things i have seen.Yep, im proud of my aunties for standing up for themselves, none of them lasted less than 10 years with their ex hubbys.
And they r all remarried and happy now.
There comes a time when you cannot take it anymore after trying so hard.
My mom is still with my dad,My man's parents r still together, (can't say they r happy)
Unfortunately, i am surrounded by people who r not happy in their marriages and i was exposed to them from a young age.
We have learnt from them and r determined God willing not to make the same mistakes and we have sworn to hold on for as long as we can and as God permits.
But we both know that there is a limit,especially for me.
If i am labelled a bad person for leaving a man who has abused me for years infront of d kids and sees no wrong in what he is doing, so be it.
btw, not all men are repentant.
Just my humble opinion.

i understand where you are coming from but i will only advice you that you try to change your views about marriage before getting yourself involved in one, be sure you are ready for the ups and downs of marriage before getting yourself involved in one

^^
Onli d church wedding is left,done all d rest
I cannot say im 100% prepared,i just know i am willing to work hard at the curves life throws at us and so is he.
If i am opportuned to meet people who are happy, i definitely will take lessons from them and learn
Still keeping an open mind though.
who knows?

where do you reside anyway? May God help you

lol
God will help me,amen.

lol

Pray to God to give you a better job, and the heart to absorb his deeds, pray also that he change from his attitude,don't fornicate and don't forget to always make him feel you on bed as much as you can.

I will encourage him to do more.

Am not moved.

In fact, I will introduce him to more babes of his choice.

Hmmm, controversial topic indeed.I really pray that my husband doesnt cheat on me sha.( i know he wont )Because i think that anything that will make him want to sleep or be with another woman,has made him concluded that i, the children and the marriage are not important.To him.So, i will definitely leave him.( with my children of course) and trust me, he will never see them again in his life time.

kill him.

you are just saying this cos its has never happened to you,  Im talking from experience,  and it was really painful when mine happened,  in fact sixmonths after we got married,  U know i never suspected anything till i got married cos im of the school of thot that what u dont know wont hurt you,  my baby was just three months when i heard one ex- gave birth. it was like my world has crashed. i was so confused and i turned to God. Well im still in my marriage,  i have moved on after all the pleas from family members and u know,   my marriage was still very young,  it was a big test of faith,  its all in the past now,  i have my boy to take care of and i have got a job of my own,  i made up my mind to still remain in the marriage and my hubby is a bit sobber now but the deed has been done,

@ lannre, that was just what i did, went on my knew and prayed to God, many called me names, i didnt even tell my folks, its left to my husband to do that if he wants, its really none of my business, im sure if i had left, the lady would have entered, i have vowed not to break my home cos of this cos it will affect the kids later on, i will keep praying to God to change his heart and turn his life around for the better,

after going thru most of the post especially from woman, most tend to think that the best option is divorce, which i don't agree with. 70% of married men one way or the other cheat on their wives. i will give two scenarios to explain my opinions

1. a friend was having problem with his wife cos of her low sex drive and that was causing so much problem in their home, when he came to me for advise, i asked him apart from the low sex drive, do u have any other problem with your wife? to which he said that, the only problem he has with his wife since they got married is her low sex drive. to which i advice, that while looking for a  solution for her low sex drive try and and satisfy your urges else where. to an extend this brought some peace in the house.

2. a married female friend was complaining about her husband is a serial cheat and wants to leave him, if she leaves can she sustain the standard of living the kids are used to? she is not working, so how will she go about it? i told her to stay and be financially stable before she thinks of leaving.

i believe when it comes to cheating especially from man, then a lot to factors comes in for the woman ponders on before she thinks of divorce, divorce should be the last option.

1. if she leaves can she take good care of the kids? you should not leave just because of your personal feeling, if kids are involve then you have to put them into consideration.
2. apart from cheating, does the husband fulfill his other obligations? if cheating is the only minus then is best you manage it, because 70% of men cheat, so the thinking that you will meet someone that dose not is less than 30%
3. are you sexually active? can you satisfy his urge?

these are some of the questions i will want my sis to consider before thinking of divorce

For him to be called a serial cheater, that means he's doing it continously, non stop; that is very bad of him.He lack discipline, i will only advice the wife to take heart and commit his husband heart to God. There is nothing God cannot do, God can change his mind.

@ MRBROWNJAY
you didnt Cause it!
you cant Control it!
you cant Cure it!

NICE WORDINGS, ITS A SAD EXPERIENCE TO AVE A CHEATING PARTNER

No need for long talk and all these loony thots , if you your friend has kids and calls him ''a serial'' then she'd known all these b4 now but didn't bother cos she hadn't much options then, chanses are she probably does now, her mind is made & can support herself well. My point. No need to make a ceremony about it there's no joy in divorce. He didn't become a serial overnight, if he did then check urself. One thing is sure, leaving take guts, lots of guts & much more.

hasyak:

1. if she leaves can she take good care of the kids? you should not leave just because of your personal feeling, if kids are involve then you have to put them into consideration.
2. apart from cheating, does the husband fulfill his other obligations? if cheating is the only minus then is best you manage it, because 70% of men cheat, so the thinking that you will meet someone that dose not is less than 30%
3. are you sexually active? can you satisfy his urge?

these are some of the questions i will want my sis to consider before thinking of divorce

1) Divorce doesn't mean the FATHER will stop being a parent, ridiculous, even if she is financially stable and leaves her husband, he still has to take care of kids. The father didn't consider the children before he started messing with everything in a skirt, so why must it be the womans responsibility? I agree that women should be financially independent, but if she's not it's not an excuse to spend the rest of her life with a man who treats her like crap.

2) You’re kidding right? Because he fulfils his other obligations she should remain with him Do you know how cheating emotionally cripples a woman?? One time is horrible, but we are talking about a serial cheater here, then there is a chance of him having kids with his other women. I think i’d take the chance of searching for my 30%. Because if it was a woman sleeping with tons of men you’d be saying something different.

3) If his wife isn’t satisfying his urge he should discuss it with her instead of jumping in bed with the next woman. Men think they are the only one’s that don’t get satisfied meanwhile 90% of the time the woman has to fake it just to please the guy.lol

Times are changing, gone are the years where women would sit back at take all the emotional abuse guys have to offer, instead of making excuses step your game up.

There's alwayz a price tag, if thats d price you've been paying to give ur kids and urself a good life why not stick it out & pray. marriage is so over rated these days & people go into it for very many different absurd reasons. If he's meeting up with his obligations as a man then stick it out but if he aint, get d hell out, someone else out there wud probably treat u like a queen. Except u are thoroughly spent.

4give him

.

He would be out in the cold as soon as the information reaches my ear.

That is a promise I made to myself.He knows it.

Cheating is a big no-no and if, knowing what the stakes are,he decides to cheat,

he'd better be prepared for the consequences.



I don't like left overs anyway.

different strokes for different folks. there are people who can tolerate anything including infidelity from their spouse while some cant.
i know of a man whose gfriend got pregnant for another man and he knew the pregananvy wasnt his cos he had never slept with her before though they had been going out for a while. He did not leave the woman and they eventually got married.
it depends on if the wife can tolerate him, cos some wives do not mind their husbands engaging in affairs outside as long as the man comes back home to them.

s.

There is nothing that one can do than just pray for such person. there's no medicine for cheating, and all i know is that there's noting that prayer canbot do.

It was an irony of fate for the late Miss Deborah Kaase, a 27-year-old mother of three who hailed from Koinyan in Konshisha Local Government Area of Benue State.

Oblivious of the fact that a supposedly wise counsel by a senior police officer would turn out to be a highway to her untimely grave, Deborah packed out of her matrimonial home and bided her hubby goodbye following recurring domestic squabbles. In doing so, she had hoped to move on to a new phase of her life, where she would enjoy peace and have joy.

Having succeeded in separating her from the husband, an Assistant Superintendent of Police [ASP], (name witheld), allegedly made love advances to her. She agreed but said marriage was not on the cards since the ASP is happily married and has kids. Thus, a sizzling romance started between the duo, but it did not take long before tragedy struck. And the horrendous details of the incident sounded like a fictional narrative.

Precisely at 9.pm on March 17, 2010, Deborah was dispatched to the world beyond and her lifeless body dumped at the morgue of the Wuse General Hospital in Abuja. She had become another victim of cruel fate, shot dead in cold blood by the ASP the man she had invested hope, love and trust, when her marriage became a voyage of misadventure. Sadly, he shot her right in front of the police station where he held sway, after accusing her of having an affair with another man.

Eyewitnesses said when the reality of his action eventually dawned on him as Deborah laid in a pool of her blood, the police officer mobilized some of his subordinates and made a last ditch effort to save her life. She was first rushed to Royal Lot Clinic, a private medical facility located at Dutse Makaranta, where she was rejected on grounds that she had bullet wounds. Again, efforts to get her admitted in another hospital at Kubwa also drew blank as the authorities were said to have rejected her for similar reasons.

When both attempts yielded no positive result, the ASP, according to sources, decided to move her to the closest government hospital at the city centre. Unfortunately, she reportedly died on the way before help could reach her. Consequently, her body was taken to the Wuse General Hospital and deposited in the morgue. However, what transpired between the police and mortuary attendants at the hospital before the body was accepted has become a subject of controversy.

Deborah’s family and kinsmen alleged that the ASP and his subordinates who took her body to the hospital merely dumped her there after labeling her as a member of a robbery gang who was shot dead when the police raided their hide-out while her accomplices escaped.

Dismissing the claim as a blatant lie, her kith and kin resident in Abuja , threatened fire and brimstone. They vowed to ensure that justice prevailed. Daily Sun gathered that but for the timely intervention of Chief Stephen Utim, traditional head of the Tiv community in Dutse Makaranta, and the prompt deployment of anti-riot policemen to the area, angry Tiv youths had already mobilized to set ablaze the police station where the incident occurred.

Utim gave an insight on how the ASP lured Deborah out of her matrimonial home and engaged her in a love affair that eventually consumed her life: “Deborah was living with her husband, a Yoruba man. Whenever they had quarrel, ASP Ibrahim, as O/C of the police station would say he wanted to settle them. That was how he got close to her.

“After making the lady to separate from her husband, he promised helping her, and started going out with her. He gave her a mattress to use in her new rented apartment, but later collected it when they had a misunderstanding.

“On the day of the incident, he called her and said somebody was going out with her, and that he would deal with her. He had sighted her sitting with some people where they were drinking. He then sent his subordinates to invite her to the police station. She went there and after some altercation, left for her home.
“Not satisfied, he sent for her again and called her asewo [prostitute]. The lady replied that if she is a prostitute, then he is also a prostitute since he is married and having fun outside. Enraged, he threatened to shoot her and she asked him to go ahead if he could. And just in a flash, the ASP pulled the trigger, shooting her twice at the ribs.”

Utim, who described the ASP as his personal friend, said he was surprised that the embattled police officer could turn round to label the deceased as belonging to a gang of armed robbers after her death. He said indeed, documentary evidence indicated that he had referred to her as his wife.
Utim alleged that neither he nor any member of the Tiv community in Dutse Makaranta was informed when the incident occurred. They were kept in the dark till about 5.pm of the next day: “Nobody informed us of what had happened until the evening of the next day when I got wind of it. In fact, the ASP sent for me. By then, he had been detained at the Divisional Police Headquarters at Dutse Alhaji.

When I got there on Friday, March 19, 2010, he was crying. He told me it was the handiwork of the devil. I pitied him, because here is a man who has put in 33 years in service. He has only two years to go on retirement. Look at the mess he has put himself.”
If available documentary evidence is anything to go by, then, there are strong indications that the tag of being a suspected armed robber allegedly placed on Deborah as a ploy to cover up the dastardly act may boomerang soon. A letter hand-written and signed by the ASP dated February 19, 2010, and addressed to the Directorate of Road Traffic Services [VIO], portrayed the police officer’s intimacy with Deborah.

The ASP wrote the letter to solicit for the release of the deceased’s motor-bike used for commercial purposes which was seized by officials of the VIO at Dutse, along the Kubwa Expressway. While pleading for cooperation of the VIO, the police officer referred to Deborah as his wife. He said he had wanted to personally visit the officials in their office, but was hindered by the fact that his superior officer was at his station.

Spokesman of the Federal Capital Territory [FCT] Police Command, Mr. Jimoh Moshood, confirmed the incident in a telephone chat: “Yes, I can confirm that the incident happened and the officer involved is under our custody. In fact, he was in handcuffs yesterday [Monday].
“However, what happened was a case of accidental discharge, but that is not to mean that the officer is exonerated. We will investigate if there was any other motive and if he is found culpable, he will be charged to court on completion of our departmental procedures.

“Right now, we are trying to locate the family of the deceased. At no time was the lady tagged a robbery suspect by the police. Nobody ever said so.” For Mr. Robert Kaase Alumo, father of the deceased, life has literally come to an end. Still in shock, Alumo had lost his voice when Daily Sun met him at the residence of Utim at Dutse Makaranta, three days after his arrival from his Katsina-Ala base in Benue State. Until her death, Deborah reportedly worked as a manager of Ade Guest Inn, Dutse. Bemused and confused, all the he could say about her was that she was “humble and hardworking.”

http://www.sunnewsonline.com/webpages/news/abujareports/2010/mar/29/abujareports-29-03-2010-001.htm

THIS IS AN EXAMPLE OF FAILED MARRIAGES, BUILT ON FALSEHOOD, WHEN A WOMAN MARRIES A MAN SIMPLY BECAUSE SHE SEES OTHERS DOING IT WITHOUT NECESSARILY LOVING THE MAN, SHE MUST HAVE ALOT OF PROBLEMS. ADULTERY (WHICH IS A WOMAN'S OFFENCE) ATTRACTS BLOOD, MEN (AFRICAN MEN) DONT CHEAT, ITS ONLY THE WOMEN THAT CHEATS. AN AFRICAN MAN IS ENTITLED TO MARRY AS MANY WIVES AS HE CAN CARTER FOR. LET HER STOP HER MESSY ADULTERY, BECAUSE SHE WILL BE THE BIGGEST LOOSER AS HER CHEATING MATE WILL NEER MARRY HER!

Cheating is not a pleasurable thing when you are on the receiving end, I agree.
It is actually a 2 way thing, just that the women involved are more discrete probably due to cultural and societal factors.
I think that if the ladies do not agree to the advances of these men (Married and Un-Married), then anything beyond that will be termed rape, which is not what we are talking about.
All the ladies here are that cheating is a NO NO and all that. I am just thinking before you guys got married, as single ladies was your approach to this the same (As far as he can take good care of me, it doesn't matter if he is married. I know we are not going to get married so I should get as much as I can while it last!!!)
Why I am thinking this way is that these ladies currently going out with married men will actually when married form the next generation of complaining wives of these same thing and the cycle continues.

What goes around, comes around

If the husband in question needs help, give him some (counselling).
If the girls he is seemingly attracted to are skinny, probably how you were before you got married, then shed some weight ,

DIVORCE! DIVORCE!! DIVORCE!!! then what?, or going behind his back to cheat on him; if you assume that that is revenge then you will be mistaking. The operating word here is Serial Cheat so you will not achieve anything

While trying to solve the problem insist on continues testing and protection for you, its bad already the way it is