Dear Jzhane,

I broke up with my fiance of three years. Am I over reacting.

Ma,I love Sandy with all my heart,there is nothing I have not done or will not do for her. However,it appears she is not ready for commitment hence I broke off our engagement two weeks ago. Right now ,U am wondering if I went too far. Should I take her back?

Sandy has an attitude which I feel for someone engaged to be married in February next year is not encouraging. Sandy is unusually close to her married boss to the extent that he buys her gifts and gives her money.

She told me herself that her boss is so playful to the extent that he sat on her laps on day in the office.

I was shocked and told her that was inappropriate but she said I am over reacting ,that her boss is just playful. This boss of hers is a known flirt in her company but Sandy feels she can handle him.

One of the things Sandy also did that got me really angry was that she used her mouth to put chewing gum in the mouth of a guy in her office.I mean that is highly disrespectful. When I told her I will not accept that,we had a big argument and she told me to chill out else the engagement is off.

I apologized and we continued but I must say,her constant playfulness with guys esecially her boss gives me great concern.

I visited her office once and saw the way she was around her boss. They didnt even respect my being there. I am sorry but I do not believe in all those silly touchy feely play that goes on on offices no matter how innocent.

I made it clear that I didnt like how she behaved and this lady had the nerve to say to me that I disrespected her boss.

We had a really hot argument and I told her the engagement is off and she said fine. I mean,I was surprised,she didnt even try to fight for our love.

Now,I am thinking,did I over react? Is she just naive or being a player?

We have had our marriage introduction.How do I tell her parents and mine that the wedding is over?

I need your advice please.



From Jeff,

Akoka,

Lagos


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www.Livelystones.com.ng

Some people are like that, with time, marriage will take it from her

skillzbae:
Some people are like that, with time, marriage will take it from her

some dnt change even after marriage rather it gets worse. Her play play should have limit cos the other person might take it as a green light to continue with the flirting. OP, think well o cos a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage

OP,no single advice can change ur feelings when it comes to the issue of love(i once caught my gf cheating,instead of getting mad,i end up begging her to stop the act)....though,we end up going our seperate ways


1. Will that same me advice you on what to do?

2. Many people here have found themselve in a worst situation than mine,but they will be quick to advice you on what they cant do(i.e quit,run for ur life etc) like its that easy


3. my advice:Just follow ur mind..
Go for that toughest decision ur instinct tells you

op anything you know you cannot truely tolerate from your woman at this time should be firmly resolved among yourselves and amends should be made else you should stop whatever marriage plans you are making with her. from stories we read nowadays its pretty hard for people to change from a kind of life they see no wrong. you are not yet married and you are already pained by her egregious and flirty behaviour, how much more when you guys marry. you cannot go on haranguing her, just let her be for now. As the lady above me posit, a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. Think twice my brother. A relationship without peace will eventually shred you into pieces and of what benefit is that to u in the long run. it is well.

And we are sure the girl is a true Nigerian I doubt!!! She and her Boss will still knack... Especially when you both get married... And you start having issues at home.. She goes emotionally down and confides in her confidante at work!!!


Stay woke Bro

You take her back... Then You have a Lotta work to do

If you are saying the truth
Then she is wrong but if you still love her
Try and flirt with a prettier lady in her presence
If it hurts her, then you 2 can make up
But if not, then she is not in love with you

Guy you really have no ambition and mission

mcheww DAT is how dy will b creating problems for themselves and before u say jerk,divorce has set in.OP stop forcing urself on d lady,she doesn't love u enough for marriage, no regards at all, look for a lady DAT will respect u and wholely love u,don't start wat u can't finish. Tolerating her now means tolerating her for d rest of ur life.

there is nothing like without time marriage will take anything from a lady. if a lady is attracted to different guys married can not change her...if only if she decides to change herself...someone who loves u will always want to fight for u, no matter what...telling her it's over and she said 'fine' means she's not into you anymore...just find a way to explain to Ur people..my advice....a broken engagement is better than a broken home..

Who is that one up there who said Marriage will take it from her. Very myopic fellow.

OP... Its obvious she is cheating. There is nothing like my boss is playful especially when he sits on her laps.

Dont feel a pinch of guilt. You did the right thing. Its ok to cry for now (atleast its hurtful). Man up too.

BTW- When the Boss dumps her and she retraces her steps, Do not take her back.

I was had a boss who was very playful and nice! Everybody envied me like " margy, you got a good boss".. far from it... i saw worst!..he was different!..
When a man becomes playful, he becomes too attached..and then he finds solace in her!.

One phrase/ word for you.. "pray for her to lose her job! ... or Run!

Nairalanders will say I'm thinking outside the box!

Maychang:
Who is that one up there who said Marriage will take it from her. Very myopic fellow.

OP... Its obvious she is cheating. There is nothing like my boss is playful especially when he sits on her laps.

Dont feel a pinch of guilt. You did the right thing. Its ok to cry for now (atleast its hurtful). Man up too.

BTW- When the Boss dumps her and she retraces her steps, Do not take her back.

before he came here for advice,he would have thought of quiting...
But be sincere,is it that easy to quit when true feelings is there?


Have you ever find ur sef in such situation to take a bold step and say I WONT CALL YOU AGAIN,I WONT PICK YOUR CALL AGAIN,I DONT WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN ETC. Hw easy was it?

You shld have advice him to go for the toughest decision that comes to his mind rather than you asking him to do what you cant do

lytech1:

before he came here for advice,he would have thought of quiting...
But be sincere,is it that easy to quit when true feelings is there?


Have you ever find ur sef in such situation to take a bold step and say I WONT CALL YOU AGAIN,I WONT PICK YOUR CALL AGAIN,I DONT WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN ETC. Hw easy was it?

You shld have advice him to go for the toughest decision that comes to his mind rather than you asking him to do what you cant do

Yes Oga...i told him what i cant do...mtschew!

Maychang:


Yes Oga...i told him what i cant do...mtschew!

its well

Incessant quarrels and hot arguments before marriage is a pointer to blows and slaps after marriage.
Bros leave that girl alone. She belongs to another man.

She doesn't have anything called love for you! To marry her is to carry an unnecessary cross for life...it's suicidal...run for your life...

Dear op
Broken relationship is better than broken marriage....I was once in your shoes .....though in my case I begged but we time we begin to see our differences and we moved on .....please you are the best person to give yourself advise

OP its obvious that girl doesn't give a flying fxxk about you and your feelings.

two she z too playful; girls that are too playful their chances of cheating on you is 89.9%, same tinny with guys. so if na extra extrovert u jam u need to prepare for the inevitable.

with the kindda boss she z got i think something is happening backstage

You didnt overreact. You did the right thing. Behaviours like that are telling. They give you a peek of what the future holds.

If you don't like it now, you won't like it after you get married. If she doesn't stop now, she won't stop it after you get married.

And there's a high probability she's the office slut. Save your future bro, it's better to be hurt now than to have a heart attack in 365 days.

And please DO NOT TAKE HER BACK if she comes back begging for forgiveness. She just wants the ring. The dog will always return to its vomit.

She is just training hard to become an cheater. She will be a bold one sef. You did the right thing.

ORAGBON:
Dear Jzhane,

I broke up with my fiance of three years. Am I over reacting.

Ma,I love Sandy with all my heart,there is nothing I have not done or will not do for her. However,it appears she is not ready for commitment hence I broke off our engagement two weeks ago. Right now ,U am wondering if I went too far. Should I take her back?

Sandy has an attitude which I feel for someone engaged to be married in February next year is not encouraging. Sandy is unusually close to her married boss to the extent that he buys her gifts and gives her money.

She told me herself that her boss is so playful to the extent that he sat on her laps on day in the office.

I was shocked and told her that was inappropriate but she said I am over reacting ,that her boss is just playful. This boss of hers is a known flirt in her company but Sandy feels she can handle him.

One of the things Sandy also did that got me really angry was that she used her mouth to put chewing gum in the mouth of a guy in her office.I mean that is highly disrespectful. When I told her I will not accept that,we had a big argument and she told me to chill out else the engagement is off.

I apologized and we continued but I must say,her constant playfulness with guys esecially her boss gives me great concern.

I visited her office once and saw the way she was around her boss. They didnt even respect my being there. I am sorry but I do not believe in all those silly touchy feely play that goes on on offices no matter how innocent.

I made it clear that I didnt like how she behaved and this lady had the nerve to say to me that I disrespected her boss.

We had a really hot argument and I told her the engagement is off and she said fine. I mean,I was surprised,she didnt even try to fight for our love.

Now,I am thinking,did I over react? Is she just naive or being a player?

We have had our marriage introduction.How do I tell her parents and mine that the wedding is over?

I need your advice please.



From Jeff,

Akoka,

Lagos


See more true life stories.


www.Livelystones.com.ng

Are you serious?

Brother you did not over react, this is the reason married men die and leave their wives... You can't marry her and be having these kind of worries. She belongs to the street. Am sure she is fucking someone else, and they laugh at you when dey are done

It is this kinda girl that will be with you and be chatting with one of her sugar boys and she'll tell him that "the idiot is here looking like a lost fool"

No single respect or regard for you.
And please, don't find any effing reason to give your folks. Tell them as it is if they care to know. She doesn't love you, doesn't see anything wrong with her ways, she won't change and from the feel from your post, you certainly won't be a happy man.

What's tha business?