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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / Poems For Review / Pls Rate My First Poem Titled( Ladies Gate..) (567 Views)
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Pls Rate My First Poem Titled( Ladies Gate..) by baracutie(f): 8:42pm On Dec 17, 2017 |
Poem:Ladies gate The security at the gate says I am your dignity I am your purity I am your innocence I am that place that hasn't been visited I am your ibale I am that scared temple that needs to be sacrificed and worshipped. In form of marriage and paying of brideprice The gate says I am an entrance to paradise or hell That place enclosed in a thick wall Filled with ambush of positivity or negativity Depending on how he got to the location That place only the courageous enter and enjoy after sacrificing Let's break the gate I hear guys say For great pleasure awaits us The determined one closes her eyes and imagines about the pleasure of having that natural microphone in her. And the angelic voice says to her "zip up, guide your gate and abstain till marriage For this is a gift that once given cannot be taken back. She opens her eyes and heeded to remain pure and guide her gate she smiled and her smile lit up like wildfire Making her rare and radiant The determined undetermined hesitates and gave in,she refuses to heed to the angelic voice She fed her flesh and lost her soul Her gate now a dumping site An hit and run avenue,which Accommodates lots and lots of natural microphones The mics swiftly,speedily swing in and out of the gate Not even with their real faces, but Masked faces. The screeching,bashing and moaning voice,i hear Blame is crushing Guilt is haunting finger is pointing and I hear the word "he used me" Who used who? Good things sets in STD says am here Pregnancy says am welcomed "had I known "becomes the cliche. At last!! The determined one exclaimed the sacrifice has been made I have my virtue I am honored Ladies guide your gate!! 2 Likes |
Re: Pls Rate My First Poem Titled( Ladies Gate..) by REDInks(m): 7:23pm On Dec 18, 2017 |
I like the general write up, its nice but you can make it better..... It reminds me of my series of poems I have been posting, its more like a story.... Sincere rating 5/10 ..... 1 Like |
Re: Pls Rate My First Poem Titled( Ladies Gate..) by Minabee: 8:40pm On Dec 24, 2017 |
Nice one at Op, i appreciate the euphemistic nature of the poem and the fact that it conveys a message. |
Re: Pls Rate My First Poem Titled( Ladies Gate..) by Bamibor: 12:18pm On Jan 20, 2018 |
As a first poem, it's really good. With more constant practice you can be as good as you want to be...I personally love poems that are narrative Cheers! |
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