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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Religion / What's Your Take On Divorce? (4383 Views)
"I Tolerated Abuse For Long" - Anita Oyakhilome Breaks silence on divorce / Has Christ Embassy Theology On Divorce Changed Yet? / I'm Done With Chris Oyakhilome;no Going Back On Divorce – Anita Oyakhilome (2) (3) (4)
Re: What's Your Take On Divorce? by alexichi(f): 1:43am On Apr 07, 2010 |
@echidime~it is rily 'bleeping his wife'!As 4 mua,no comment.LIFE is full of shit! |
Re: What's Your Take On Divorce? by streetwize(m): 1:46am On Apr 07, 2010 |
komekn: Oga it is like your not readin what your writin oh. . . |
Re: What's Your Take On Divorce? by na2day2(m): 6:22am On Apr 07, 2010 |
i hate divorce with passion, for me it is a no no. but our world has turned upside down and u can never say never again. i will rather wait and get married to the right woman or just adopt a child and live happily with my child. if i decide to get married, we are gonna sign a prenup and hopefully we never have to get divorced |
Re: What's Your Take On Divorce? by carnal: 8:57am On Apr 07, 2010 |
divorce is not good for anybody.never |
Re: What's Your Take On Divorce? by pek(m): 9:02am On Apr 07, 2010 |
wrong, right, wrong, right wrong and the argument goes on and on each with his valid points. my take: the home is supposed to be your last refugee a place you look forward to. your spouse should be your friend and companion. but if, for some reasons, these scenarios dont happen, wont you crave for a change? if everything else have failed and you know deep down that it is unworkable, dont you think divorce becomes a painful option? my one kobo thought! |
Re: What's Your Take On Divorce? by davmor(m): 9:02am On Apr 07, 2010 |
sizzlers:sizzlars i m still waiting for the 2nd and 3rd conditions |
Re: What's Your Take On Divorce? by member479760: 11:44am On Apr 07, 2010 |
Eradication is the best option in a situation where a toothache is incurable. |
Re: What's Your Take On Divorce? by dinachi(m): 1:39pm On Apr 07, 2010 |
In my own opinion there is no right condition for divorce if you are a christian. I have consistently said and believe that marriage is not about finding the right person but about being the right person. Nedless to say the supposed pastor is definitely not informed in the word of God. |
Re: What's Your Take On Divorce? by Fhemmmy: 1:47pm On Apr 07, 2010 |
dinachi: You mean if there was infidelity too, divorce must not be an option? You mean if your life is in danger too, u shd stay and not leave? Please clarify |
Re: What's Your Take On Divorce? by Rmc1(m): 3:01pm On Apr 07, 2010 |
Divorce is never a good thing especially if children are involed in the marriage because the kids usually suffers . Divorce becomes inevitable when the situation is terrible and there is no more compatibility btw the couples. 4 me it will be a last resort |
Re: What's Your Take On Divorce? by Fhemmmy: 3:11pm On Apr 07, 2010 |
Rmc1: that is what is ought to be |
Re: What's Your Take On Divorce? by Outstrip(f): 3:28pm On Apr 07, 2010 |
Fhemmmy: And that is why some of us are shocked to here that after only two months people feel like they have given it their best. Even if the man came out of no where and beat the crap out of the woman I would still say an immediate separation is in order but only for them to take time to decide what went wrong. That process in itself will take at least a year. Marriage is not a joke. |
Re: What's Your Take On Divorce? by samoyin(m): 3:31pm On Apr 07, 2010 |
Hmmm! A lot has been said about this word DIVORCE, First of All marriage is Sacred and Institution that is the CREATORs idea of expressing LOVE while building a family. At the ALTAR its "you will forsake all other men/women and stick to only your spouse" 'TILL DEATH DO US PART'. And the 'I DO' was the loud answer. God's standard cannot be compromised for ANY man, do not even think divorce at all, because i assure you where ever you think you are going to might even make life more miserable. TAKE NOTE! Divorce is not permited since you both have said 'TILL DEATH DO US PART' there is no turning back. 'FOR BETTER FOR WORSE', 'WITH OR WITHOUT WEALTH' Now I would like to let you know that you must NEVER go into marriage prayerlessly, in a rush, out of pity for your fiance, out of mere physical appearance, with a negative hidden motive or falsified make-believe wealthy status which turns out to be fake or any of such. If this is the case then there was no LOVE in the first place, prayer and counselling would have a very great impact on the relationship with both parties understanding each other and fully participating not passing blames at each other, accepting responsibility can go along way, during this time. The Holy book even says that, 'The Kings Heart is in the Hand of the Lord, like the rivers of waters He turns it to whereso ever HE wills' No heart is to stoney for the Rock of Ages. Also He says I am the Lord the God of All flesh(including your spouse) is there anything too hard for me? Tell me one thing that HE can not do? All things are possible to Him that believes. Whatsoever you ask of Him believing that HE has done will be accomplished. There is a difference between Age and Maturity, you must be of a matured mind, spiritualy ready and of course phyically capable of taking care of your self and someone else(spouse). A word is enough for the WISE. Divorce is NOT PERMITTED! Under no circumstance. If we permit Divorce indiscriminately with or without children, what future are we planning for a Nation like ours? Love(Forgiving and Caring), Patience, Understanding and Appreciating One Another and Much more, Keeps the Marriage. GOD was in attendance during this marriage, the Congregation and other witnesses where there, Men of God were in attendance and after 2months you want to call it quits? Think twice and make your own way right with your Creator then you can live peacably with other human beings(your spouse). Please reason once more, do you think GOD was in attendance for fun? Answer, ? FEAR GOD NOT MAN? If you are not ready for marriage. DON'T DARE IT! Cheers! Samoyin |
Re: What's Your Take On Divorce? by samoyin(m): 4:10pm On Apr 07, 2010 |
Come to think of it Marriage is 'making things work out' with someone who grew up with or without the parent, graduated from a different institution,her favourite colour is pink, has her likes and dislikes, has her favorite colour and what have you?prefers to sleep with the light off, snores while sleeping, she loves amala with ewedu? All these put together and then you meet this same person and you sincerely love her over time, you propose to her and you get along, i believe the points I mentioned about cannot make you call it quits. Now you prepare and get married out of genuine love, would you now divorce her just for any these mentioned above?I guess not. Now seeing each other from time to time if different from having your fiance now your wife stay with you, for a week, a month, a year and more. Now i want to make this very clear, that there are so much you may NOT realise until you stay together in marriage under the same roof. And then you say 'Oh my GOD do I have live all my life with this?' Of course! You Must Be Best Of Friends In Marriage. You cannot marry a perfect spouse, you will help her to deal with her weaknesses and boost her strength and she will also have to help you deal with your weaknesses and strength too. All the points enumerated in the first paragraph of this post, you will have to apply maturity and understanding, paradventure unfaithgulness is the case, then you will have to apply maturity, a forgiving heart and absolute understanding. Marriage brings out the best in you if you marry Gods chosen for you, but if your marry out of any other error, you are like to excell less than what you should, but you will still excell an live a peaceful and prosperous life even without DIVORCE. Cheers! Samoyin |
Re: What's Your Take On Divorce? by Fhemmmy: 4:25pm On Apr 07, 2010 |
Outstrip: Very true . . . . Now u see why i asked when is one ready for marriage, cos people that knows the meaning of marriage will never divorce 2 years into the marriage, except if their life is in danger. |
Re: What's Your Take On Divorce? by eros(m): 11:28pm On Apr 07, 2010 |
Divorce is for IMMATURE people who rushed into marriage not knowing what they really want. No couple should divorce after all the trouble of getting married and all the years and time put into the marriage. Really sucks to hear of couples getting divorced. |
Re: What's Your Take On Divorce? by spoilt(f): 11:29pm On Apr 07, 2010 |
^^ It could also be for mature people who know that its not going anywhere and dont intend to waste any more time torturing each other. |
Re: What's Your Take On Divorce? by komekn(m): 11:42pm On Apr 07, 2010 |
Streetwize, I am in no doubt about what is written in the word, furthermore our context is the "spirit of the word", God's perfect will not his permissible will, and not the legalistic understanding that satisfies the intellect of self. Consider the NKJ (New King James translation) Matthew 19:8-9 He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. The Message(translation), Matthew 19: 8-9 Jesus said, "Moses provided for divorce as a concession to your hard heartedness, but it is not part of God's original plan. Remember the Lord prayer forgive us our trespasses as we forgive them that trespass against us and the parable of the Unforgiving Servant. |
Re: What's Your Take On Divorce? by pawa4ul: 5:36am On Apr 08, 2010 |
The problem we have in Nigeria today is the denial of practical living. It is better to know the truth and the truth will definitely set you free. Remaining in a non-compatible relation is not different from digging an early grave. From the church angle, you will be advised to forgive, still live together, married once married forever, and get divorced remain divorced and all that. Let us tell ourselves the truth, I know that most of us have being in one relationship or the other (either married or dating). If you pretend to forgive the person or you are forced against your wish to keep the relationship, will you truly in your heart love this person whom you have genuinely removed from your mind? I mean you somehow caught him/her chaeating. You will leave the rest of your life in regrets. Every little thing will matter, and anything that looks like the situation in question will remind you of the past. I BET YOU WILL NOT FORGET. THEY SAY FORGIVE AND FORGET! IS THIS PRACTICABLE? We are conscious and rational beings for speaking out loud. MY ADVICE: If you are not comfortable (genuinely) in a marriage/relationship please the earlier you quit the better. This is the reason you find married people still visiting their old time lovers. We always want to please the people around us and then suffer the consequencies. MAKE WE NO TAKE SHAME SWALLOW BONE OH! |
Re: What's Your Take On Divorce? by ayettymama(f): 5:45am On Apr 08, 2010 |
hmmmmm if someone doesnt want to forgive cheating nko the bible doesnt say u have to cheating isnt merely a situation to forgive and forget its a wakeup call to what u have as a spouse soo those of u thinking of quoting trespass passages after betraying ur marriage better think twice if it leads to divorce theres no one to blame but yourself and the spouse can move on freely without sin or shame then again i never pray for such and wont pray on it for my enemy but hearing u men talk sometimes puts me off marriage alltogether id rather join a grp a culture that believes cheating is an unforgivable offence and the person deserves whatever comes his/her way! |
Re: What's Your Take On Divorce? by pawa4ul: 5:55am On Apr 08, 2010 |
ayettymama: GBAM. YOU CORRECT JARE |
Re: What's Your Take On Divorce? by Phony200(m): 12:01pm On Apr 08, 2010 |
@OP There's no road so far as to not be able to return. If the pastor does not support it, common sense does. |
Re: What's Your Take On Divorce? by Fhemmmy: 5:17pm On Apr 08, 2010 |
Ummmmmmmm |
Re: What's Your Take On Divorce? by GboyegaD(m): 8:36pm On Apr 08, 2010 |
@OP, I feel the challenge is dat d pastor n d guy lacks understanding of what they are saying. Probably they belong to the school of thought that says talk before you think. |
Re: What's Your Take On Divorce? by Fhemmmy: 8:37pm On Apr 08, 2010 |
^^^ Ouchhhhhhhhhh |
Re: What's Your Take On Divorce? by Wush: 3:16pm On Apr 13, 2010 |
Divorce, hmmm!! Basically i see it as a necessary evil. Though it should not be encouraged, however,with the kind of orientation going on these days regarding marriage, it just seems the way out for alot of happily unmarried men and women. |
Re: What's Your Take On Divorce? by Zodiac61(m): 11:34am On Apr 14, 2010 |
Most of the posters here seem to be against divorce because it is not biblical. Fine, if the desire to look good in heaven is your sole reason for living. There, however, has to be something said about a god who wants people who cannot stand each other to continue in a marriage because he wants this to be the case. eros:What about Benny Hinn? What about Chris Okotie? People grow apart for various reasons, not only because one had been unfaithful. Are you really saying that such couples should stay together because god wills it? |
Re: What's Your Take On Divorce? by Outstrip(f): 6:14pm On Apr 14, 2010 |
I am sorry but "growing apart" is a silly reason for divorce. |
Re: What's Your Take On Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 7:33pm On Apr 14, 2010 |
Work at it whatever the cost.
|
Re: What's Your Take On Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 1:17pm On Apr 15, 2010 |
Here is another story of a restored marriage that was on the brink of divorce. Dr. George Crane was a newspaper columnist and at the same time a Christian minister. He said of the story of a frustrated wife who came into his office seeking a divorce. She said: "I do not only want to get rid of him, I want to hurt him as much as he has me." Dr. Crane suggested an interesting plan: "Go home and act as if you really love your husband. Tell him how much he means to you. Praise him for every decent trait. Go out of your way to be as kind, considerate and generous as possible. Spare no efforts to please him, to enjoy him. Make him believe you love him. After you've convinced him of your undying love and that you cannot live without him, then drop the bomb. Tell him that you're getting a divorce. That will really hurt him." With revenge in her eyes, she smiled and exclaimed, "Beautiful, beautiful. Will he ever be surprised!" And she carried out the Dr's prescription to the letter, pretending to mean it. This she did for 2 months by showing kindness, (not nagging nor insulting), giving, sharing, showing love and affection. When she didn't come back to Dr Crane he decided to give her a call and said: "Are you ready now to go through with the divorce?" "Divorce?" she exclaimed. "Never! I discovered I really do love him." |
Re: What's Your Take On Divorce? by Deschil: 12:39pm On Aug 13, 2013 |
Matthew 5:32 - But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. Luke 16:18 - Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from [her] husband committeth adultery. Malachi 2:16 - For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for [one] covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously. Matthew 19:9 - And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except [it be] for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. Deuteronomy 24:1-4 - When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give [it] in her hand, and send her out of his house... 1 Corinthians 7:15 - But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such [cases]: but God hath called us to peace. 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 - And unto the married I command, [yet] not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from [her] husband:... Romans 7:2 - For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to [her] husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of [her] husband. *This applies to men also-he cannot remarry even after divorce until his wife is dead* Romans 7:1-3 - Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth?... Mark 10:12 - And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery. Deuteronomy 24:1-22 - When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give [it] in her hand, and send her out of his house. Hebrews 13:4 - Marriage [is] honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. 1 Corinthians 7:11 - But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to [her] husband: and let not the husband put away [his] wife. Romans 7:3 - So then if, while [her] husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man. Romans 7:2-3 - For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to [her] husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of [her] husband... Mark 10:11-12 - And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her... Mark 10:11 - And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. Mark 10:2-12 - And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away [his] wife? tempting him... Matthew 19:6 - Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Matthew 19:4-6 - And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made [them] at the beginning made them male and female... Matthew 19:3-9 - The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?... Matthew 5:31-32 - It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:... Matthew 5:31 - It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: Genesis 2:24 - Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Titus 1:6 - If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly. Ephesians 4:32 - And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. Acts 2:38 - Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. Mark 10:2 - And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away [his] wife? tempting him. Matthew 19:8 - He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. Matthew 19:3-12 - The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?... Matthew 19:1-30 - And it came to pass, [that] when Jesus had finished these sayings, he departed from Galilee, and came into the coasts of Judea beyond Jordan;... Deuteronomy 24:4 - Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that [is] abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee [for] an inheritance. Deuteronomy 24:1-3 - When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give [it] in her hand, and send her out of his house... Exodus 20:14 - Thou shalt not commit adultery. 2 Corinthians 5:17 - Therefore if any man [be] in Christ, [he is] a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. (Modify) (Quote) (Report) jagunlabi: Utter nonsense!Sorry if i sound insultive, but where do you guys get all these weird ideas from?When two people make a mistake of thinking themsleves compatible and then getting married, only to discover that they are not, they should then stay together by force because of what exactly?Why suffer yourselves by staying in a relationship(married or not) that does not exist just because you said "i do" in front of some priest?I just can't figure out some people's thinking. |
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