I was home chilling

The Fried rice wey i chop on xmas day, still deh vex me

Say no to premarital sex,use protection if you must have sex to avoid future stories. Know your HIV status and that of your partner if you are in a serious relationship,STDs are real,use of cd does not give you a hundred percent protection

Hmmm...the baby can still be yours, she no finish her sentence now...

fatymore:
While you were celebrating Jesus. I was celebrating my mum cos that was her birthday..

How are you Fatymore? Please send
regards to your lovely mum, she's my bday mate. Tell her Biodun says hi & also wish us more biday in good health & wealth. I also wish her properous new year.

ptaller:


How are you Fatymore? Please send
regards to your lovely mum, she's my bday mate. Tell her Biodun says hi & also wish us more biday in good health & wealth. I also wish her properous new year.

happy birthday in arrears biodun..

I ate my Christmas rice late... around 8pm. busy day ever

swiz123:
So no one spent their Christmas in a police cell

is dat ur wish

Nice story but her name was Fola how did she become Tope

swiz123:
So no one spent their Christmas in a police cell

Lol... God no go gree that one

let's talk about something else..... Christmas has already gone

Tajbol4splend:
I'm sure by new year, I'd buy a litre of petrol at 50 naira

for wic country

nothing much just at hme

Yuneehk:
Hilarious! I had a very boring and painful Christmas celebration. Of all the days to get a neck dislocation, it had to be on that day I was supposed to be having fun and enjoying myself. Anyone who's had a neck dislocation would know how painful it was.That is how I ended up staying indoors, bedridden, and nursing my neck pain

Are you sure your neck got dislocated? Or it was a case of having a stiff neck?

Apina:

Are you sure your neck got dislocated? Or it was a case of having a stiff neck?

Stiff neck? I couldn't turn it left or right. Stiff should have been the word and not dislocated then. Thank you

deturla:
After I arrived home from my Oshodi to Akure Journey at 11pm that night of the 24th of Christmas, I settled down to devour pounded yam, ignoring my recurring nature of having to deal with stomach upset whenever I eat late. The Efo riro was too appetizing to ignore and I gobbled down the meal on a bottle of Pepsi.

Against all warning and admonition from my Mum that I relax before heading to bed, I ignored her and headed to bed all the same.

I found myself waking up to a crazy dream of me being pregnant and delivering a baby in the hospital.

What the heck!? I asked myself.

Still wondering why I could have that unrealistic dream, I felt a painful nudge in my tummy, stomach rumbled, tummy was hard and bit me from all sides. I drank and drank water to no avail!

Or I was truly pregnant? In the middle of the pain, I laughed it off. Definitely this was indigestion.

I decided to head over the to hospital down my area for treatment because I really began to feel uncomfortable and I needed to get the undigested pounded yam and efo out of my tummy as soon as I could.

No sooner had I entered into the hospital than I stumbled into Fola, and a one year old baby she was carrying.

Fola was a young undergraduate I met March 2015 in Idanre and we had a fling for some months before distance separated us.

Apparently the baby was a little bit under the weather! Fola told me she had been sick for sometimes and decided to rush her to the hospital because her sickness had to do with blood.

I did not get that part well, because I was in a state of discomfort and listening to Fola’s rants were the last thing on my mind.

She then said she had wanted to reach out to me for a long time because there was something important to talk to me about. It was about her and the sex we had almost two years ago!

Gbam! My eyes pooked, my tummy rumbled, my heart palpitated! I just hope it was not what I was thinking. I stared at her, stared at the baby yet again and I was shocked to notice that….the baby just looked exactly like ME.

I shifted uncontrollably and in the blink of an eye, thoughts started filtering through my mind. ‘Is the baby mine’? What does Fola want to say? What is happening? What happened that night coursed through me mind.

Eh Lord, we freaking had unprotected s*x, but I was not sure whether I poured my juice into her pot! I was not sure at all….Jeez! What if the baby was mine? Was that why they were here?

I thought of how I would tell my mum how I went to the hospital and met Fola and her baby, and how the baby looked just like me and how the baby was mine!

Fola broke into my thoughts…..as she continued:

‘You see Detola, after that night of the sex and we lost touch I felt so unusual and not myself after you left. It was later I realized that…I….was….’

I did not even listen to her anymore, and it was not until a husky male voice jolted me out of my misery and said:

‘Darling, the doctor is prepped and all set for Tola, he has taken my blood and we are ready for the transfusion. Let’s take her in!’

..that I came back to my senses and beat myself on why I even thought the baby was mine! Immediately I felt the deep rumble of a slimmy wet poo down my boxers before I realized that what made me come to the hospital now rushed out in heavy torrents.

I could not even say Hi to Tope’s boyfriend, husband or whoever he was before I made a dash to the hospital convenience to count my luck and download the poo at same time.

Christmas started and ended on a crazy and weird note for me. How was did your Christmas go? ANYTHING WEIRD HAPPEN TO YOU THIS CHRISTMAS?

http://deedeesblog.com/weird-christmas-story/

Lessons worthy of note:
1. Eating late is wrong,but if you must, you should chew on a tiny piece of ginger 15 minutes before action time. That would aide digestion and almost zero the chances of indigestion. You may have to visit the comfort station first thing in the morning(or earlier)
2. Pounded yam and efo riro is not a good choice for supper,but you may have gotten away with it(without trying my first option) if you had left out the pepsi. Carbonated drinks should not be consumed at night cls they trigger acid reflux(indigestion)
3. When next you are confronted with indigestion,gulp down bitterleaf juice or just pluck out 2 to 3 fresh leaves, wash and chew.

For me,it was the best Christmas yet...all family around,had a cultural carnival in the village and it was fun!fun!fun!

Cashless Christmas, respect myself and stayed indoor. Will remain indoor till school resumes. Tired of everything.

GoldenJulius:
Cashless Christmas, respect myself and stayed indoor. Will remain indoor till school resumes. Tired of everything.

LOL!

deturla:


LOL!

i no go kill myself faa

I wouldn't say my Xmas was fun or awful. Is it from having running stomach for the vegetables i ate the previous night or the Fried Rice that looks like white rice my neighbor gave me that I've to use stew to devour. I ended up drunk with Vodka at family house. . I woke up feeling feverish. I've been treating Malaria since then.

femishow2005:
I wouldn't say my Xmas was fun or awful. Is it from having running stomach for the vegetables i ate the previous night or the Fried Rice that looks like white rice my neighbor gave me that I've to use stew to devour. I ended up drunk with Vodka at family house. . I woke up feeling feverish. I've been treating Malaria since then.

Awwn...sorry bro.

Are you better now?

deturla:



Awwn...sorry bro.

Are you better now?

Yeah i am. New year Hustling n bustling commence.

Many thanks