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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Unhappily Married...what Should I Do? (1364 Views)
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Unhappily Married...what Should I Do? by Nobody: 2:06pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
Please all i really would apreciate if you would listen to my story.I am.married to Nigerian igbo man i am white woman.I know him for only 2 years.He lives in my country.He has been alwaya selfish always teling me he needs something and is always only about him.I never felt that he really loves me and i never felt some deep conection with him.He alsp makea me very insecure about black women because he most times praise them in any sence.Anything i do it wil not be good enought.I am.the one that provides for rent and bilss.He ia not working for now.But as i see he doesnt apreciate me.or the thigs i done for.him.And i been with him true his worst times.I feel alone in this marriage because if i have some problem my husband doesnt want to listen to me he wil just say that i should leave him alone because he has alpt things om his.mind.I have an ex boyfriend also Nigerian that when i was with him he didnt treat me well.he was in bad country and now he is in good place with job and he inviting me.to come to.him.I felt with him more love and connectiom then with with my husband.I dont know what to do...please help?? |
Re: Unhappily Married...what Should I Do? by madone: 2:10pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
Oyinbo woman he don job u be that oo. From the looks of things that ur husband has gotten all he wants. But the problem with u white girls is that u to demand of emotional things. U too listen and watch ur husband mood before u carry matters to him. |
Re: Unhappily Married...what Should I Do? by carbon1224(m): 2:13pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
You should find time to discuss with him so that you will know what really making him feel that way but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. |
Re: Unhappily Married...what Should I Do? by Thewesterner(m): 2:15pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
Hmmmmm... Quite sad, you are a beautiful woman @dp, which men would want to be with, but I still believe there a lot missing in your story, something is not adding up. Maybe because you are the breadwinner which to an African, is supposed be the other way round, he sees you as been bossy |
Re: Unhappily Married...what Should I Do? by Nobody: 2:22pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
You have been scammed and whats with you and Nigerian guys? |
Re: Unhappily Married...what Should I Do? by Nobody: 2:24pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
Purebeerry:scammed?How? |
Re: Unhappily Married...what Should I Do? by Nobody: 2:25pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
Europija:Citizenship things Na. |
Re: Unhappily Married...what Should I Do? by kunlesufyan(m): 2:28pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
I checked your previous post and it's all complains and complains... sister , its a new year. Try make yourself happy. 2 Likes |
Re: Unhappily Married...what Should I Do? by Tajbol4splend(m): 2:28pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
Re: Unhappily Married...what Should I Do? by Cladez(m): 2:29pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
Europija this your English sef. I think he feels insecure.You paying for the rent,feeding and everything is like steping on his ego.Besides he has alot of things running in his head especially the job part.Just be patient and watch him change when he gets a job. 1 Like |
Re: Unhappily Married...what Should I Do? by Nobody: 2:30pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
Cladez:but i feel so alone in this marriage i do all..I pay bils rent food and stil i am not.good enough.. |
Re: Unhappily Married...what Should I Do? by Tajbol4splend(m): 2:32pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
This is serious, why did you accept to marry him if had seen this coming, or maybe you didn't see it coming |
Re: Unhappily Married...what Should I Do? by Cladez(m): 2:35pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
Europija:Has he been jobless for 2years and why? Just sit him down and tell him about how you feel about the marriage and you never mentioned about children. |
Re: Unhappily Married...what Should I Do? by pepethemaniac: 2:35pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
Europija: Finally a girl brings more than pussy to the relationship and it's still not enough. I kinda wish you didn't bring this to romance section. You've armed some people. 2 Likes |
Re: Unhappily Married...what Should I Do? by Nobody: 2:37pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
pepethemaniac:when you mentioned pussy...He was complaining before to his felow nigerian how i am only good in spreading legs...after all i dome for him he said such |
Re: Unhappily Married...what Should I Do? by pepethemaniac: 2:38pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
Europija: What country do both of you live in? |
Re: Unhappily Married...what Should I Do? by Nobody: 2:44pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
pepethemaniac:Poland |
Re: Unhappily Married...what Should I Do? by pepethemaniac: 2:48pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
Europija: How hard is it to get him a Job? maybe he's not feeling to manly since you do all the "man's work" in the house. |
Re: Unhappily Married...what Should I Do? by Espada10: 2:52pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
No be igbo man again...believe me,he get one igbo wife and children for Nigeria. |
Re: Unhappily Married...what Should I Do? by Topestbilly(m): 4:03pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
Purebeerry: Stop saying Sh!t please, if it was black-black or white-white thing now you won't say she was scam. If u don't hav better thing to contribute please read comments. 1 Like |
Re: Unhappily Married...what Should I Do? by wristbangle: 4:05pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
Your previous posts had been series of complain about your husband. Though it's not in my habit to accept one side of a story except I listened to the other but if your story happens to be true then it's obvious he doesn't love you and he has a secret lover else where. If you know his parents why not lay this complains to them. I don't succumb to the idea of divorce but maybe for your best interest, u need to take a break for now. |
Re: Unhappily Married...what Should I Do? by Kingsteve(m): 4:16pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
Hmmm...OP is Polish. I remember my days in the UK, Polish girls were all over the place, and fun to be with...you know what I mean? OP you're beautiful, but I've learned that beauty doesn't define how a man will treat his wife. Sorry, I really have nothing tangible to say, but I like you though. Maybe you can PM so that I can advice you in our private chat. |
Re: Unhappily Married...what Should I Do? by Topestbilly(m): 4:17pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
Tajbol4splend: That's how they do stupid things to get attention and cheap likes. @ Europija remember dis are people's opinion so u need to be careful on how you go about it, some of them can't even look after their siblings and they'll come here advising someone who has been through thick and thin. Pick the good ones marry it with yours and follow your heart. 1 Like |
Re: Unhappily Married...what Should I Do? by elantraceey(f): 4:26pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
Lady I'm going to be completely honest with you, your post and previous topics reeks of insecurity and low self-esteem and that's why your husband treats you the way he does. Your life isn't dependent on anyone but you and you need to lady up and take charge of yourself. No matter what you bring to the table, men will never be satisfied, it's natural so stop trying to please him it ain't gonna work, give him space, work on yourself and if he ever really liked you (which I doubt) , he'll come back pleading after realizing your worth. Life is too short to live unhappy. 2 Likes |
Re: Unhappily Married...what Should I Do? by FTrebirth(m): 4:30pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
how did you get yourself there? if you know you don't love your man any longer, better let him know it now and ask for divorce in a peaceful way. and i want to believe you haven't taken in for him yet. you don't want anything that hold you back, do you? stop fvcking him. divorce him...and bye! |
Re: Unhappily Married...what Should I Do? by olalat(m): 7:31pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
O@ oo, see a typical Nigeria man is egocentric, he wants to be in charge, he wants to have play front role in the family, he wants to come to the village during Xmas with a bragging luxury car. He is no happy and not be happy anyway despite the effort you are putting in to make things work out. You need to sit him down and ask for what he really wants. Help him get a job , watch him make money. You will thank me later on how romantic a naija man can be. Na frustration dey worry the guy. 1 Like |
Re: Unhappily Married...what Should I Do? by Nobody: 8:38pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
olalat:so the man should be collecting, hand-outs from her. The signs are all there, her husband is using her to get polish citizenship, simple. He is playing on her insecurities to fuel his own ego and cover up his inadequacies. In summary, you are a victim of emotional abuse At europija, can you imagine yourself in 10 years with this man as he is? Complaining and nagging like an old fishwife. I think you should take a break from your marriage, because your happiness matters and it is not worth it to lose it for some guy. To start with, please stop paying him allowance, and push him out to get a job, even if it is odd jobs. There is dignity in labour. Observe how he reacts. This would give you an idea of how he values your marriage. |
Re: Unhappily Married...what Should I Do? by olalat(m): 9:14pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
[quote author=funmisticqueen post=63835983] so the man should be collecting, hand-outs from her. The signs are all there, her husband is using her to get polish citizenship, simple. He is playing on her insecurities to fuel his own ego and cover up his inadequacies. In summary, you are a victim of emotional abuse At europija, can you imagine yourself in 10 years with this man as he is? Complaining and nagging like an old fishwife. I think you should take a break from your marriage, because your happiness matters and it is not worth it to lose it for some guy. To start with, please stop paying him allowance, and push him out to get a job, even if it is odd jobs. There is dignity in labour. Observe how he reacts. This would give you an idea of how he values your marriage.[/quot e] Im sure you don't hv poor reading habit hence wrong interpretation of my comment. That needs his own income to make him a happy husband to his wife simple. The wife is not happy cos of her husband attitude in the house and she is not an advocate of broken home like you. The solution is for them to put head together and fix him up so that the lady can leave a happy life she wants and deserves. She doesn't wish to divorce her man madam, reason she seeks advice. Let them take steps that will make both of them happy couple in a happy matrimonial home. Salom. |
Re: Unhappily Married...what Should I Do? by Nobody: 9:29pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
Firstly u need to becareful with advise u get here and people who Will tell u to PM them or PM you....don't pm anybody ....let them advise u here.... And for folks saying bad about your fellow brother on social media (Most especially the ladies who write out of jealousy and frustration because the black men are abandoning them for white ladies) ...well u truely don't know the effects of those useless talks on every Nigerians abroad and it's effect on the national image of Nigeria in general.... That your brother or sister u call to send u $$$$ when u ar broke is also a victim of the stupid things u post on social media.... smaller African countries are getting more respect because they don't go about posting rubbish online like Nigerians...they cover their shit. @op You need to love yourself before others would love u...One thing I have noticed about women married to black guys is that most of them struggle with their self esteem and for that reason, results to jealousy, stalking,too much attention seeking and insecurity. We love our wives, either white or black but the cultural differences will always be there and this is something u will have to deal with as long as u still wanna be in that marriage. We don't kiss in public or show public affections like you do... African husband are mostly in charge and want respect...we love our family but sometimes need a little space or make decisions...this is part of the culture and doesn't mean we are breaking the marriage or home. Give him a little space when u noticed he's trying to be alone , show some concern , encourage his present condition and let him know u are there for him. Not all marriage work even if u marry Ur race....but just do Ur part. Show some curiosity about your husband culture, ask questions, ask interesting questions about food, people, relationship with parents and family..... Don't be jealous or insecure about somethings u will hear about his culture ( e.g how we support our family and friends financially which whites hardly do, or other sensitive parts). Listen to him more than u talk. By that u will learn more about him and don't ever try to be controling. And most importantly ignore things u read here about him scamming u money wise or materially most of them are to poison your mind and marriage. Most of them will try and poison Ur marriage and ask u to marry them.....focus on Ur marriage,don't go extra miles, communicate with Ur husband and things will change. 2 Likes |
Re: Unhappily Married...what Should I Do? by Nobody: 10:07pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
Espada10:This is a very useless post and disrespectful to his right and person no matter what the marriage is going through at the moment... nothing justifies saying this about someone u don't know...this is a sensitive talk from a careless person to break someone's home. |
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