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How Do You Cope With A Jealous Hubby? by Nobody: 10:06am On Apr 08, 2010 |
Been married happily for over 10yrs. My hubby and I don't have infidelity issues, cos from the go, we both agreed to keep our marriage vows. And it's been good until recently, when I met a guy online who is teaching me forex. We exchanged e-mail addresses, and we're on Messenger Chat. We exchange ideas while chatting, but then, noticed my hubby started being inquisitive whenever he finds me doing this. He starts by quietly giving me the eye, and then, 'you're at it again'. I simply laugh it off cos I initially felt he was overreacting to an innocent banter with my online friend. Yesterday, he was talking to me, and I was on Nairaland, but unfortunately, he thought I was chatting again. My erstwhile quiet and unassuming hubby just simply walked out of the room, warning me sternly that he's getting tired of this so-called innocent online chats. I was really surprised and at the same time hurt that he could think of me in that light, let alone voice out that I might be doing something inappropriate. This really got me thinking. Anyone with similar experience? |
Re: How Do You Cope With A Jealous Hubby? by noetic16(m): 10:08am On Apr 08, 2010 |
save your marriage . . . . , dump the "online chat" |
Re: How Do You Cope With A Jealous Hubby? by Godalone(m): 1:25pm On Apr 08, 2010 |
noetic16:seconded If you cherish your marriage just quit the online chat. |
Re: How Do You Cope With A Jealous Hubby? by Abygul(f): 3:42pm On Apr 08, 2010 |
yea just quit d chat tin ok.it culd save a lot in a lyf tym |
Re: How Do You Cope With A Jealous Hubby? by Nobody: 4:28pm On Apr 08, 2010 |
your husband is right. how can you vouch for the guy teaching you forex? Have your husband around (ie beside you) when you're chatting with him, if possible. if you were single then no qualms, imo. for all you know, your spouse may be talking from experience. |
Re: How Do You Cope With A Jealous Hubby? by Abygul(f): 4:33pm On Apr 08, 2010 |
and dat funny tpia |
Re: How Do You Cope With A Jealous Hubby? by Consultant(f): 5:59pm On Apr 08, 2010 |
Whoopie, Since you've had ten years of happy marriage, this implies to me that your husband is not habitually jealous of all your friendships. He may be seeing something here that you can't, or you have chosen not to see. I would suggest that you honestly ask yourself why it is important to you to keep this online relationship going despite your husband's expressed reservations. The answer to that may surprise you. |
Re: How Do You Cope With A Jealous Hubby? by Nobody: 6:00pm On Apr 08, 2010 |
noetic16: And encourage his paranoia I think she should just find a way to prove to him that the on-line chats are really harmless |
Re: How Do You Cope With A Jealous Hubby? by Abygul(f): 6:10pm On Apr 08, 2010 |
Ujujoan:dat 4 u and me som dumb 1ce will still av an affair outsyd chat room ooo |
Re: How Do You Cope With A Jealous Hubby? by noetic16(m): 6:26pm On Apr 08, 2010 |
Ujujoan: Quite silly Marriages dont break up because partners cheat . . . .they break up because trust ceases to exist. why should a married woman spend endless hours chatting with a random bloke in the name of learning forex? 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Cope With A Jealous Hubby? by Sagamite(m): 7:35pm On Apr 08, 2010 |
Whoopie: I don't mean to be rude, but typical woman, somehow she turns it into all about her and becomes the victim. The man has given you hint of what he does not like or feel comfortable with, either you listen to your husband or tell him to f off you don't care what he wants. |
Re: How Do You Cope With A Jealous Hubby? by Nobody: 9:09pm On Apr 08, 2010 |
Ujujoan: I doubt there's a need to prove anything. If she finds it difficult to not chat with the online guy then there's clearly a problem. |
Re: How Do You Cope With A Jealous Hubby? by kokoye(m): 9:21pm On Apr 08, 2010 |
Your husband is not jealous . . . from all you said here, ur just paying the victim in this case Youve been happily married for 10 yrs cos you chose to make each other happy. He is obviously not happy with the time you spend online - why torture him? Anyway, seems like now you have to choose btw the online stranger and your husband of 10yrs. I'm sure there are a trillion other ways to learn forex . . even online. Keep the peace n joy in ur household. |
Re: How Do You Cope With A Jealous Hubby? by Outstrip(f): 11:56pm On Apr 08, 2010 |
There are other ways to learn how to trade. If your husband has never done this before then there must be something that's making him uncomfortable. It is not an everyday thing so in my opinion just this once you should indulge him |
Re: How Do You Cope With A Jealous Hubby? by mamagee3(f): 12:20am On Apr 09, 2010 |
I ignore him, that's him the best treatment for a Jealous Hubby. |
Re: How Do You Cope With A Jealous Hubby? by Nobody: 2:47am On Apr 09, 2010 |
@poster there is absolutely nothing wrong with what you are doing. the problem comes from your husbands lack of trust in you regarding your newly found online activities. sit down,communicate with your husband and reassure him/make him understand that there is nothing wrong about what you do, get him to join you while chatting with forex guy and he will probably get to know that guy. i am not saying that this online forex "teacher" doesnt have any evil motives BUT as long as you know yourself and dont look for this kind of hanky panky then all is well. the fact that your husband lost trust in you is what you should be concern about. quitting this new venture aint gonna solve the problem because it would mean that you cant be yourself and do what you please because of your husbands insecurities. thats definitely NOT away to live ones life. |
Re: How Do You Cope With A Jealous Hubby? by lati112: 11:23am On Apr 09, 2010 |
You are giving your new friend too much time and neglecting your hubby hence his reaction. Try and balance the two and everything will be ok |
Re: How Do You Cope With A Jealous Hubby? by legba1(m): 11:30am On Apr 09, 2010 |
@ poster,i doubt if u know wat u're doing.wat do u expect of ur hubby?not with this internet dating and online relationship.am married and dont think i will be comfortable seing my wife giggle or stay glue to the net coz a guy somewhere is chating her up in the name of tuitorial.IF U LOVE UR HOME,DO AWAY WITH HIM.i doubt if the likes of mama-gee is married coz her advise sounds like one who's still searching. 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Cope With A Jealous Hubby? by Mcaudrey: 11:31am On Apr 09, 2010 |
I think you should hold on to the one thats more important to you. If its your husband, there are other ways to learn Forex, u can even tell him to make suggests but if its the Forex ( Teacher) then u should continue with your online lessons and pray for your Husband to understand. And by the way, i hope you still have time to attend to the kids and fix timely meals( or is the maid helping u on that) |
Re: How Do You Cope With A Jealous Hubby? by joshO: 11:35am On Apr 09, 2010 |
No brainer. Dump your chat friend. Your marriage is far more valuable than your forex knowledge!! Unless you're getting bored in your marriage and looking for some "extra curricular" activity! |
Re: How Do You Cope With A Jealous Hubby? by otukpo(f): 11:41am On Apr 09, 2010 |
Laughs. I just wish it was a woman that reported this of her husband. 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Cope With A Jealous Hubby? by touchmeder: 11:42am On Apr 09, 2010 |
For a man who never bothered with the jealously bug in about 10years suddenly something is not going down well with him no matter how good ur intentions are or your forex teacher for the sake of peace i will learn forex through another means let nothing take away the peace in your home, |
Re: How Do You Cope With A Jealous Hubby? by peacettw: 11:46am On Apr 09, 2010 |
My husband once reacted strongly against my yahoo messenger friend, a pakistani that i had known for many years as a single gal. He had posed as me n became jealous when he realised how close we really are calling immediately to demand 4 an explanation. Initially, i had thought he was joking. For pete's sake, he's on the other side of the world, but all my explanations fell on deaf ears. I have stopped chatting with my friend ever since then, cos above all things, my marriage comes first n like i said, he is afterall on the other side of the world. |
Re: How Do You Cope With A Jealous Hubby? by polynesian(f): 11:46am On Apr 09, 2010 |
agrees with the males on here, lool mama gee, ur trouble |
Re: How Do You Cope With A Jealous Hubby? by joshO: 11:47am On Apr 09, 2010 |
This goes both ways. Can't imagine a husband should continue with a 'harmless' online relationship if doing so displeases his wife. Failing to nip it in the bud may trigger future escalating actions / reactions, the type of which we've seen plastered on this board in recent times, |
Re: How Do You Cope With A Jealous Hubby? by chuks0421(m): 12:24pm On Apr 09, 2010 |
This woman self, do u need someone to tell u 2 stop d online chat? Your Husband does not feel comfortable with it, that's wat matters most now n nt the forex trade u claim to be learning |
Re: How Do You Cope With A Jealous Hubby? by Nobody: 12:37pm On Apr 09, 2010 |
i wonder how many of these posters would dump nairaland if their spouses/significant others were uncomfortable with their activities here if people insisted that everything their spouses do that ' they are not comfortable with' be abandoned . . . marriage is not supposed to be a prison 2 Likes |
Re: How Do You Cope With A Jealous Hubby? by Mordayz(m): 12:43pm On Apr 09, 2010 |
Appricate what you have at hand than what you are targetting in the air, 10yrs no bi 1 day work, |
Re: How Do You Cope With A Jealous Hubby? by titsqueez(m): 12:55pm On Apr 09, 2010 |
women!! i tire for una. just be glad the guy did'nt grab a knife and stab u to death like what happened in Wales a few months ago. get off the darn PC for F' sake!!! |
Re: How Do You Cope With A Jealous Hubby? by joshO: 1:20pm On Apr 09, 2010 |
if people insisted that everything their spouses do that ' they are not comfortable with' be abandoned This is certainly not a case of "everything". It involves a relationship with the opposite gender and suspicions of infidelity. Infidelity - arguably the #1 cause of marriage breakdowns! Question is, is a trivial relationship like this worth the risk to a happy 10-year union? You figure! |
Re: How Do You Cope With A Jealous Hubby? by Nwoka(m): 1:40pm On Apr 09, 2010 |
Excuse me ma'am, i'm gonna advice you to quit that online stuff for d mean time. |
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