Been married happily for over 10yrs. My hubby and I don't have infidelity issues, cos from the go, we both agreed to keep our marriage vows. And it's been good until recently, when I met a guy online who is teaching me forex. We exchanged e-mail addresses, and we're on Messenger Chat. We exchange ideas while chatting, but then, noticed my hubby started being inquisitive whenever he finds me doing this. He starts by quietly giving me the eye, and then, 'you're at it again'. I simply laugh it off cos I initially felt he was overreacting to an innocent banter with my online friend. Yesterday, he was talking to me, and I was on Nairaland, but unfortunately, he thought I was chatting again. My erstwhile quiet and unassuming hubby just simply walked out of the room, warning me sternly that he's getting tired of this so-called innocent online chats.

I was really surprised and at the same time hurt that he could think of me in that light, let alone voice out that I might be doing something inappropriate. This really got me thinking. Anyone with similar experience?

save your marriage . . . . , dump the "online chat"

noetic16:

save your marriage . . . . , dump the "online chat"

seconded
If you cherish your marriage just quit the online chat.

yea just quit d chat tin ok.it culd save a lot in a lyf tym

your husband is right.

how can you vouch for the guy teaching you forex? Have your husband around (ie beside you) when you're chatting with him, if possible.

if you were single then no qualms, imo.

for all you know, your spouse may be talking from experience.

and dat funny tpia

Whoopie,

Since you've had ten years of happy marriage, this implies to me that your husband is not habitually jealous of all your friendships. He may be seeing something here that you can't, or you have chosen not to see. I would suggest that you honestly ask yourself why it is important to you to keep this online relationship going despite your husband's expressed reservations. The answer to that may surprise you.

noetic16:

save your marriage . . . . , dump the "online chat"

And encourage his paranoia  

I think she should just find a way to prove to him that the on-line chats are really harmless  

Ujujoan:

And encourage his paranoia  

I think she should just find a way to prove to him that the on-line chats are really harmless  

dat 4 u and me som dumb 1ce will still av an affair outsyd chat room ooo

Ujujoan:

And encourage his paranoia  

Quite silly

Marriages dont break up because partners cheat . . . .they break up because trust ceases to exist.
why should a married woman spend endless hours chatting with a random bloke in the name of learning forex?

Whoopie:

I was really surprised and at the same time hurt that he could think of me in that light, let alone voice out that I might be doing something inappropriate. This really got me thinking. Anyone with similar experience?

I don't mean to be rude, but typical woman, somehow she turns it into all about her and becomes the victim.

The man has given you hint of what he does not like or feel comfortable with, either you listen to your husband or tell him to f off you don't care what he wants.

Ujujoan:

And encourage his paranoia

I think she should just find a way to prove to him that the on-line chats are really harmless

I doubt there's a need to prove anything.


If she finds it difficult to not chat with the online guy then there's clearly a problem.

Your husband is not jealous . . . from all you said here, ur just paying the victim in this case

Youve been happily married for 10 yrs cos you chose to make each other happy.

He is obviously not happy with the time you spend online - why torture him?

Anyway, seems like now you have to choose btw the online stranger and your husband of 10yrs.

I'm sure there are a trillion other ways to learn forex . . even online.

Keep the peace n joy in ur household.

There are other ways to learn how to trade. If your husband has never done this before then there must be something that's making him uncomfortable. It is not an everyday thing so in my opinion just this once you should indulge him

@poster
there is absolutely nothing wrong with what you are doing. the problem comes from your husbands lack of trust in you regarding your newly found online activities.

sit down,communicate with your husband and reassure him/make him understand that there is nothing wrong about what you do, get him to join you while chatting with forex guy and he will probably get to know that guy. i am not saying that this online forex "teacher" doesnt have any evil motives BUT as long as you know yourself and dont look for this kind of hanky panky then all is well.

the fact that your husband lost trust in you is what you should be concern about. quitting this new venture aint gonna solve the problem because it would mean that you cant be yourself and do what you please because of your husbands insecurities.
thats definitely NOT away to live ones life.

You are giving your new friend too much time and neglecting your hubby hence his reaction.

Try and balance the two and everything will be ok

@ poster,i doubt if u know wat u're doing.wat do u expect of ur hubby?not with this internet dating and online relationship.am married and dont think i will be comfortable seing my wife giggle or stay glue to the net coz a guy somewhere is chating her up in the name of tuitorial.IF U LOVE UR HOME,DO AWAY WITH HIM.i doubt if the likes of mama-gee is married coz her advise sounds like one who's still searching.

I think you should hold on to the one thats more important to you.
If its your husband, there are other ways to learn Forex, u can even tell him to make suggests
but if its the Forex ( Teacher) then u should continue with your online lessons and pray for your Husband to understand.
And by the way, i hope you still have time to attend to the kids and fix timely meals( or is the maid helping u on that)

No brainer. Dump your chat friend. Your marriage is far more valuable than your forex knowledge!!

Unless you're getting bored in your marriage and looking for some "extra curricular" activity!

For a man who never bothered with the jealously bug in about 10years suddenly something is not going down well with him
no matter how good ur intentions are or your forex teacher
for the sake of peace i will learn forex through another means
let nothing take away the peace in your home,

My husband once reacted strongly against my yahoo messenger friend, a pakistani that i had known for many years as a single gal. He had posed as me n became jealous when he realised how close we really are calling immediately to demand 4 an explanation. Initially, i had thought he was joking. For pete's sake, he's on the other side of the world, but all my explanations fell on deaf ears. I have stopped chatting with my friend ever since then, cos above all things, my marriage comes first n like i said, he is afterall on the other side of the world.

agrees with the males on here, lool mama gee, ur trouble

This goes both ways. Can't imagine a husband should continue with a 'harmless' online
relationship if doing so displeases his wife. Failing to nip it in the bud may trigger
future escalating actions / reactions, the type of which we've seen plastered on this board
in recent times,

This woman self, do u need someone to tell u 2 stop d online chat? Your Husband does not feel comfortable with it, that's wat matters most now n nt the forex trade u claim to be learning

i wonder how many of these posters would dump nairaland if their spouses/significant others were uncomfortable with their activities here

if people insisted that everything their spouses do that ' they are not comfortable with' be abandoned . . . marriage is not supposed to be a prison

Appricate what you have at hand than what you are targetting in the air, 10yrs no bi 1 day work,

women!! i tire for una. just be glad the guy did'nt grab a knife and stab u to death like what happened in Wales a few months ago. get off the darn PC for  F' sake!!!

if people insisted that everything their spouses do that ' they are not comfortable with' be abandoned

This is certainly not a case of "everything". It involves a relationship with the opposite gender and suspicions of infidelity. Infidelity - arguably the #1 cause of marriage breakdowns! Question is, is a trivial relationship like this worth the risk to a happy 10-year union? You figure!

Excuse me ma'am, i'm gonna advice you to quit that online stuff for d mean time.