.

Anomalyy:
Didn't really want to bring it here but to follow my heart but a topic on fp about a man fathering a 3 year kid that's not his has made me more confused

Let's say I'm in my late 20s and hoping to settling down later in the year or probably next year.

Met this girl last year and been dating for 6 months now. The problem is I'm very scared of our future, i took her very seriously because i love her and she's very beautiful but on a scale of 10 my trust for her is at staggering 5. Her mom left her dad, when things went south for the unfortunate man, lost his job and became broke, she left him did some business before she traveled abroad. I've seen her pictures drinking, smoking a life we can easily call wayward and unafrican for a mother, in fact she has tattoo

At first i didn't bother my self with all that until she also told me about her aunt who brought her up while her mum was away. She didn't hide it that this one is senior runs girl in portharcourt

Then her own lifestyle (my gf) she has lived just like the 2 women in her life. One day i jokingly asked her how many men she has slept with she said maybe 10 which i even believe is more than

But she claims she's now a changed person and thank me every day for changing her lifestyle.

But my big question is do they really change? Can she really leave her oloshoism and be a good wife. Me i can't handle an unfaithful wife at all. She cheated on me 4 months in the relationship but she claimed she didn't sleep with the guy she traveled to spend weekend with because they were just friends. We've had several issues of her putting her phone on flight mode when ever she came visiting, that was at the beginning of our relationship.

I'm very confused i brought it to the family section because i know they're more matured people here than the romance section.

Do you think a woman can really change like that. I didn't even mention i was her 4th bf in 2017 and we stated dating in July lol i am very comfortable and i don't think there's any thing she has for i didn't provide to my ability

My people should i continue the relationship and keep praying or just reconsider and find a good woman for my self. Thanks

Lol, you are already calling her olosho and doubting her words.

Well, they change unless you have evidence to doubt her words since you started sleeping with her.

You already know her family history, you know her history, it makes you uncomfortable.
Is she a runs girl? Trust your instincts, it's ringing alarm bells for you.
Move on & find peace.

At some point as I was reading, I wanted to say her mother's or Aunt's lifestyle shouldn't be the basis from which you'll judge her but down the line, I could categorically tell you that she's exactly like her mother. You've seen the signs. If you can't deal with a loosed woman; let her go for your sanity now that you still have time. The relationship is barely a year.

Kai, i really don't understand some people. You already know her history and that of her family and she told you that she has changed. I think it's your prerogative to believe her or not. It's not our place to tell you whether people truly change.

My brother run for your dear life oo. The signs are very clear for you to see. Don't let infatuation blind you.

Look for a decent girl with good family history and you would stand a chance of having a good marriage.

Flee from all APPEARANCES... If it remotely looks like it, flee

Have ever thought of the fact that there are certain characters she is masking just because you guys are not yet married?


if she unmasks those characters u may not believe it, u go run.


I still want to believe her words that she has changed, now she has to prove it-- set her up bro , test her loyalty and love.


If she fails it will be easier to cut the relationship instead of depending on mere instincts.

Mynd44 ishilove do the needfull for this brother

While the way of life of those that brought her up shouldn't necessarily determine how she leads her life, she has confirmed that they indeed planted much of themselves in her, while she gladly grows in it.

Look! Even a perfect marriage involving a "perfect" woman has its issues. This lady has so much baggages that will cause troubles for you later in marriage. An example is that, her kind of person will be loyal to that aunt of hers and her mother. What kind of advice do you think they'd give her when you have issues?

However, having confided in you and told you some of her past, its your decision to make whether to find a way of coping with the baggages or not, but one thing is certain, her past will haunt your family and her family won't be of much help. If you can cope and believe you can nurture her to become a better person, why not?

Ubunja please come and give this nigga the red pill. Op you should read the first page of this thread how to identify an ex slut for guys about to get married.
https://www.nairaland.com/4257316/how-identify-ex-slut-guys

People do not change. I repeat! People do not change. What you cannot condone now, don't bother with it. People only pretend for the time. Unless you're planning for early divorce, the signs you have before you are very glaring. Love fades and reality sets in. Do not marry out of pity or just for the sake of love, use ur head

Dude, stay o. No run. Keep staying, you hear? You've seen the signs, you've seen the origin, you've even seen the history.

just dont marry her, God will give u your own love.

The Apple does not fall far away from the tree - and that's a lesson we men never learn until it's too late.

Anomalyy:
Didn't really want to bring it here but to follow my heart but a topic on fp about a man fathering a 3 year old kid that's not his has made me more confused

Let's say I'm in my late 20s and hoping to settling down later in the year or probably next year.

Met this girl last year and we've been dating for 6 months now. The problem is I'm very scared of our future, i took her very serious because i love her and she's very beautiful but on a scale of 10 my trust for her is at staggering 5. Her mom left her dad, when things went south for the unfortunate man, lost his bank job and became broke, she left him did some business before she traveled abroad. I've seen her pictures drinking, smoking a life we can easily call wayward and unafrican for a mother, in fact she has tattoo

At first i didn't bother my self with all that until she also told me about her aunt who brought her up while her mum was away. She didn't hide it that this one is a senior runs girl in portharcourt

Then her own lifestyle (my gf) she has lived just like the 2 women in her life. One day i jokingly asked her how many men she has slept with she said maybe 10 which i even believe is more than

But she claims she's now a changed person and thank me every day for changing her lifestyle.

But my big question is, do they really change? Can she really leave her oloshoism and be a good wife. Me i can't handle an unfaithful wife at all. She cheated on me 4 months in the relationship but she claimed she didn't sleep with the guy she traveled to spend weekend with because they were just friends. We've had several issues of her putting her phone on flight mode when ever she came visiting, that was at the beginning of our relationship.

I'm very confused i brought it to the family section because i know they're more matured people here than the romance section.

Do you think a woman can really change like that. She even had a sugar daddy before. Did i mention i was her 4th bf in 2017 and we stated dating in July lol. i am very comfortable and i don't think there's any thing she has asked for i didn't provide for her to my ability

My people should i continue with the relationship and keep praying or just reconsider and find a good woman for my self. Thanks

keep praying for what exactly? litany of signs all around you of miseries you are gonna walk into if you marry this lady, yet you seem unperturbed. This ain't just about the history, the lady has actually shown you that apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I like giving people the benefit of the doubt, not in this case. Walk away and save yourself from regret of a lifetime and stories that tell.

This is the same advise i will give my own blood. Run...... she hasnt changed ,probably wants to settle down and needs a dumb guy.
10 guys
4 guys half of the year
Probably some abortions ,plus she is cheating on u. I usually dont give advice like this cos no one is perfect but the worse is ur girl isnt even changed 1 bit.

There are two rules when it comes to marriage the op must abide to.
Rule 1. Do not marry a daughter of single mother excluding widow. Most are wayward.

Rule 2. Do not forget rule number one.

Can someone explain the difference between an olosho and a wayward/loose woman?

Ayam not understanding

I don't know how you expect total strangers to tell you if your own girlfriend is truly a changed person.

Do people really change? Yes!

can your girlfriend truly change? Only you can answer that!

What other choices do you have OUT THERE?
Most NIGERIAN ladies are made OLOSHOS by the society.

Let us face it.
Most of NIGERIAN MEN are CULTISTS!
Most of NIGERIAN WOMAN are OLOSHOS!

Blame poverty!

You have only 2 choices.

1. Marry an OLOSHO now and hope she turns to a SAINT.

2. Marry a SAINT now and pray she never turns to an OLOSHO!

In any case, TRUST is going to ALWAYS be an issue with relationships.

Ishilove:
Can someone explain the difference between an olosho and a wayward/loose woman?

Ayam not understanding

They are the same thing!

Ishilove:
Can someone explain the difference between an olosho and a wayward/loose woman?

Ayam not understanding

An olosho rides the rooster carousel for money while a loose woman rides the rooster carousel for fun and sexual experimentation.

StPete:
People do not change. I repeat! People do not change. What you cannot condone now, don't bother with it. People only pretend for the time. Unless you're planning for early divorce, the signs you have before you are very glaring. Love fades and reality sets in. Do not marry out of pity or just for the sake of love, use ur head

Bros people don't change

Left for me, I'll say she's just playing this "changed person" attitude, so you guys can get married fast. I know her real self will likely surface sometime after you marry her.
Talking from what I've seen in some marriages though.

Interesting

I don't mean to take away from the fact that she has ho-traces, but manny you been dating the sister for 6months and getting some good action too while at it. So please get off your judgmental high horse.
You are her number 11 and enjoyed it until you got tired and started making excuses.

Let's just say she is a Lady who has had her fill of fun and is ready to settle down.
Would she go back to her old habit? let's look at it this way: Guy X is single and like every other guy, has sexual needs. Being that he has no gf, he pleases himself by wanking, watching porn and occasionally visiting brothels. Sometimes he uses his last borrowed kobo to get these pleasures.
Guy X meets lady Y and she comes in to fill the void in his life. Is there a possibility, however remote that Guy X would indulge in his past pleasures at some point in the future?
There you go.

missjo:
I don't mean to take away from the fact that she has ho-traces, but manny you been dating the sister for 6months and getting some good action too while at it. So please get off your judgmental high horse.
You are her number 11 and enjoyed it until you got tired and started making excuses.

Lmao.. Ho-traces

Sic

crackhaus:

Lmao.. Ho-traces

Sic

Yea, just like you got some of that in you too. But we ain't judge you for it

missjo:

Yea, just like you got some of that in you too. But we ain't judge you for it

SMH... I don't even know what to tell you

crackhaus:
SMH... I don't even know what to tell you

Lol, Happy 2018 to you