Hello nairalanders,
Please I need HONEST opinions from matured CHRISTIAN on the war going on in my mind.
I met this man(pastor) in a christian gathering(not a church) 3years(2015) ago and at a point I stopped fellow-shipping with them because of my work schedule.

In 2016 I bought a small car, he often joins me to work and sometimes back home( we leave in same area), at a point he started getting close(he calls me often, always wants to fellow me about). At a point I become uncomfortable because I did not know his mission but I prayed about it. One day, a friend of his mistakenly mentioned his wife to me and I was shocked, I confronted him, he explained that he didn't want to tell me because he observed that I was strict and he didn't want to loose our friendship, at that point I cut all ties with him. Then in 2017 him and one other sister started joining me to work again, at a point he started getting close to my mum(my mum leaves with me). Usually our conversations is "good morning sir, how is your wife and family" and later in 2017, he stopped following me.

He paid me a surprised visit(he has never entered me office but he knows where I work) at the office few days before Christmas and I asked him why he did not inform me before coming, he explained that he came for something around and he decided to drop by. He told me that he was being accused of dating me, I did not believe him until he read a text message from his phone. I begged him to tell me the accuser but he refused and I became very furious. I told him that I was blocking his contacts immediately, he should not have anything to do with me again and I told him to leave my office. Well my colleagues blamed me that I acted too harshly, I guess my anger was born out of the fact that I am innocent and will not engage in premarital sex.

He reported the case to my god daughters mother(also a friend), the woman explained that his wife moved out of her matrimonial home for the past 6months, she said that she begged her, her church intervened she came back stayed few days and left. I later unblocked him, he called and explained that he has been married(traditionally) for the past 8years, no issue and that he is having a serious marital problems with his wife. He explained that the wife was in the habit of leaving and then return after weeks, sometimes months but this this the longest she has stayed. I advised him to involve both his in-laws and his family to reconcile them. He said that he was tired of the marriage and he wants to get married to me, I explained that it was wrong and that I don't believe in divorce, that even if their is separation as a result of maybe violence both should remain single, if they sleep with anyone they will be committing adultery. That is my believe anyway.

He has being pleading that I should pray about it. For me I just feel its wrong. I just wish I could contact the wife and beg her to go back to her home because I lent she was the accuser although he said that it was 4months after she moved out that she accused him.

Please nairalanders I need your opinions because I intend to contact the wife and at least clear myself but I am an introvert and I hate scandals, I don't think I would be able to stand the embarrassment if she acts otherwise(I dont know the wife and never met her). Also do you think is write for the man to remarry if the woman refuses to come back.
Thanks in anticipation of biblical opinion.

Errmmm
Pls ma the bible allows separation for the sake of infidelity.... YOU HAVE TO FIND OUT WHY THE WIFE JUST LEFT LIKE THAT.... there is more to the story than anyone is telling u... DO NOT CARRY A POT WITH ONE HANDLE UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED FOR THE HEAT. That said... lemme now face you..


PLS MA... ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH HIM or YOU ARE WASTING HIS TIME..... ?

DID THE LORD SPEAK TO YOU THAT HE IS YOUR MAN? Or you are getting older without any male friend?

YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THESE QUESTIONS and ANSWER them honestly before you can move on o...


If you want to date him... HAS HE LEGALLY SEPARATED? or will you be sharing him and the other woman n entering into hurts n offences...? DOES HE HAVE KIDS?

What about his spiritual life... is he higher than you? FORGET BEING A PASTOR?- he is also a man... who is he outside his title? NEVER LET TITLE FOOOOL YOU... Its by their fruits we shall know them o.

BE VERY DILIGENT IN PRAYER AND HEAR GOD(Not your emotions or pity)... HEAR GOD FOR YOURSELF.

Financially can he be respected by you? or that is not a criterion for you?

PLS IF YOU CAN READ ALL I HAVE TYPED, you will silently know the counsel and wisdom for this ISSUE.

May God bless you

Kereokwu:
Hello nairalanders,
Please I need HONEST opinions from matured CHRISTIAN on the war going on in my mind.
I met this man(pastor) in a christian gathering(not a church) 3years(2015) ago and at a point I stopped fellow-shipping with them because of my work schedule.

In 2016 I bought a small car, he often joins me to work and sometimes back home( we leave in same area), at a point he started getting close(he calls me often, always wants to fellow me about). At a point I become uncomfortable because I did not know his mission but I prayed about it. One day, a friend of his mistakenly mentioned his wife to me and I was shocked, I confronted him, he explained that he didn't want to tell me because he observed that I was strict and he didn't want to loose our friendship, at that point I cut all ties with him. Then in 2017 him and one other sister started joining me to work again, at a point he started getting close to my mum(my mum leaves with me). Usually our conversations is "good morning sir, how is your wife and family" and later in 2017, he stopped following me.

He paid me a surprised visit(he has never entered me office but he knows where I work) at the office few days before Christmas and I asked him why he did not inform me before coming, he explained that he came for something around and he decided to drop by. He told me that he was being accused of dating me, I did not believe him until he read a text message from his phone. I begged him to tell me the accuser but he refused and I became very furious. I told him that I was blocking his contacts immediately, he should not have anything to do with me again and I told him to leave my office. Well my colleagues blamed me that I acted too harshly, I guess my anger was born out of the fact that I am innocent and will not engage in premarital sex.

He reported the case to my god daughters mother(also a friend), the woman explained that his wife moved out of her matrimonial home for the past 6months, she said that she begged her, her church intervened she came back stayed few days and left. I later unblocked him, he called and explained that he has been married(traditionally) for the past 8years, no issue and that he is having a serious marital problems with his wife. He explained that the wife was in the habit of leaving and then return after weeks, sometimes months but this this the longest she has stayed. I advised him to involve both his in-laws and his family to reconcile them. He said that he was tired of the marriage and he wants to get married to me, I explained that it was wrong and that I don't believe in divorce, that even if their is separation as a result of maybe violence both should remain single, if they sleep with anyone they will be committing adultery. That is my believe anyway.

He has being pleading that I should pray about it. For me I just feel its wrong. I just wish I could contact the wife and beg her to go back to her home because I lent she was the accuser although he said that it was 4months after she moved out that she accused him.

Please nairalanders I need your opinions because I intend to contact the wife and at least clear myself but I am an introvert and I hate scandals, I don't think I would be able to stand the embarrassment if she acts otherwise(I dont know the wife and never met her). Also do you think is write for the man to remarry if the woman refuses to come back.
Thanks in anticipation of biblical opinion.

Thanks very much for your responses, to answer the questions you posed honestly:
1. I am getting fond of him because we speak everyday. Wasting his time? I don't think so.
2. The Lord has not spoken to me about him. Yes I get older by the day but I am not desperate.
3. He was traditionally married to his wife, so that is why I suggested to

greatnaija01:
Errmmm
4. No kids yet.
5. In terms of Spirituality I think I might be higher.
6. Financially he appears ok.

God bless you too.

[quote author=greatnaija01 post=64336337]Errmmm
Pls ma the bible allows separation for the sake of infidelity.... YOU HAVE TO FIND OUT WHY THE WIFE JUST LEFT LIKE THAT.... there is more to the story than anyone is telling u... DO NOT CARRY A POT WITH ONE HANDLE UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED FOR THE HEAT. That said... lemme now face you..


PLS MA... ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH HIM or YOU ARE WASTING HIS TIME..... ?

DID THE LORD SPEAK TO YOU THAT HE IS YOUR MAN? Or you are getting older without any male friend?

YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THESE QUESTIONS and ANSWER them honestly before you can move on o...


If you want to date him... HAS HE LEGALLY SEPARATED? or will you be sharing him and the other woman n entering into hurts n offences...? DOES HE HAVE KIDS?

What about his spiritual life... is he higher than you? FORGET BEING A PASTOR?- he is also a man... who is he outside his title? NEVER LET TITLE FOOOOL YOU... Its by their fruits we shall know them o.

BE VERY DILIGENT IN PRAYER AND HEAR GOD(Not your emotions or pity)... HEAR GOD FOR YOURSELF.

Financially can he be respected by you? or that is not a criterion for you?

PLS IF YOU CAN READ ALL I HAVE TYPED, you will silently know the counsel and wisdom for this ISSUE.

May God bless you

A married pastor kept his married status hidden from you and was emotionally cheating on his wife with you, calling you often and following you about in the name of friendship. This is a potential warning sign. It might not disqualify him but if I were you I would dig further.

What qualities do you want in a man? Forget the pastor title he bears. Can this man be trusted? Does he have integrity?

What manner of man and husband was he? What manner of issues did he have with the wife ? Why was the wife always running away? Have you done your due diligence on this man?

He hasn't sorted his messed up life out and you are being roped into his mess. Let him sort his mess out first. It's after he has done so and has become available to remarry that you can even begin to contemplate considering his proposal. For now that man is both biblically and legally married and unavailable.

His wife was right to have accused you. You may not have physically cheated with him but you did so emotionally. You were his go to person, the person he went to to escape marital troubles and receiver of most of his calls.

If you intend to call the wife to exonerate yourself, get ready for some bashing. However, let her know you never dated him.

Meantime, kill this introvert excuse of yours and make yourself available to potential suitors by positioning yourself.

Two, ask God for the spirit of wisdom in matters concerning getting married. The scripture says that if you lack result in any area of life you should ask God for the requisite wisdom in that area and that God will give it to you liberally.

God's grace.

I think you like the guy that's why you had to compose all of this. My advice to you is that you have no right to call the wife because she will insult you and it could even end your friendship with the guy if eventually they don't get together. Why would a married woman leave her husbands house, definitely she's sleeping around like a dog. You sound like a good woman with good principles but please work on your anger and pray to God to lead you. Obviously the woman isn't interested in the marriage, let them get divorced. Try to find out why they are separated, from there pray to God to guide you